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"Coping" with Singleness?

 
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"Coping" with Singleness? - 7/13/2008 10:02:02 PM   
mutinywxgirl


Posts: 12085
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
A GREAT discussion has taken place in THIS thread. I am not about to try to repeat it here.

So, in light of that thread, my question is this: Are you "coping" with singleness until your partner enters your life?


Honestly, for me, I am just coping with my life right now - coping with my family until they are gone. I'm coping with being single. I've coped with being single all my life. While I do love everything I've done in my life and know that there is no way it'd have happened if I was married, there is still that part of me that desires what PH talked about - that relationship to where you have someone to share the intimate details of your life and innermost secrets. I thought I had that two years ago, and when it ended, it was that "connection" that I desperately missed.

So yeah, I have been coping.

_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
Post #: 1
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/13/2008 10:22:08 PM   
WhiteRoseBlessings


Posts: 23635
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
Status: offline
I'm getting ready to log off for the night, and my forums time is going to be quite limited this coming week . . .

So, for the moment, I'll repeat what I said over in the other thread, and perhaps quickly elaborate a bit.



quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings

quote:

ORIGINAL: besiderself


Yes, I would say "coping" is a part of most of our lives. I have to "cope" with things I don't particularly care for in many areas of my life--anybody here absolutely love to clean toilets?
Esther, this made me laugh!

No, I don't absolutely love to clean toilets . . . but neither do I consider it to be coping when I do clean 'em. In fact, I don't have any emotional feelings towards it one way or another; cleaning toilets is something that just needs to be done; I do it, and then go about my day and don't give the toilets and the fact that I've cleaned them another thought.


For me, "coping" just seems so devoid of joy. I am absolutely assured of Our Lord's Peace and Joy in my life. In fact, it's His Peace and His Joy that propels me; that carries me through hard times (read that as hard times in life, in general; not necessarily in being single). It's His Peace and His Joy that covers me, comforts me and encourages me . . . sometimes even inspite of myself.


For me, "coping" seems analogous to "surviving", and I most definitely want to do more than merely survive; I want to thrive; I want to LIVE.


That's why I don't look at "living life as a single person" in the same way that I view "coping with being single."
In Philippians, Paul said, "I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." (4:11)

There's a Peace that is present when I am content.
I don't see that same Peace in "coping."




So, no . . . I not "coping" with being single.
It's simply an aspect of who I am.

And to go further, I enjoy being single.
When I was married to CS, I very much enjoyed that as well.

But right now, I'm single.
And I intend to live my life, to enjoy it and to thrive.

I recently came back from spending a month in Jackson, WY . . . my most very favorite place I've ever seen / been to / lived.
I had an absolute blast while I was there.

Having also lived there with CS, there were some sad moments last month . . . but they were moments and not all-pervasive.
Any sadness I felt while on my trip last month was due to CS no longer being alive; NOT because I was single . . . they're two distinct things.

_____________________________

Post #: 2
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/13/2008 10:26:24 PM   
Prairiehiker


Posts: 3250
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ADAPTING:
Synonyms: , accommodate, adjust, conform, fit1, reconcile
These verbs mean to make suitable to or consistent with a particular situation or use

Perhaps, if I had use the word "adapting" as opposed to "coping" then, it wouldn't have received such a negative reaction. English isn't my first language, lol.

Maybe others don't have to cope or adapt. Maybe others are natural at it. I remember when I became a single parent, I was natural at it. I didn't have single problem with finance, or loneliness, or feelings of being inadequate. While others struggle(again, I don't want to lump all the single parents here), I was having a blast with my daughter going on trips and learning to do everything with her. Would you believe she rock climbs too? LOL. So, maybe others do experience singleness as a real pleasure the way I experience single parenting as a pleasure. Maybe my daughter doesn't feel the same though.

But back with the singleness issue yes, just like everyone, I am having a blast being single. I have a full life, and I think I have a richer life because I'm single. My relationships aren't as shallow. I've learned to care deeply for other people which I might not have learned had I been married. I learned to experience so many things in life that I might not have learned had I been married. I learned to be responsible for every aspect of my life (from taking the car to the shop to planning for my retirement) and most of all, I've gotten so much more intimate with God. Perhaps, my faith wouldn't have been as deep if I was married as I wouldn't be spending so much time alone communing with God(granted that I married the right person). So, being single is all good. I'm adapting/coping. Name it what you want. It's my way of dealing with my life as a single person and while it is good, I know that I'd rather find someone to DO life with.

< Message edited by Prairiehiker -- 7/13/2008 10:36:33 PM >


_____________________________

Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
Post #: 3
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/13/2008 10:27:32 PM   
Pauley464


Posts: 490
Joined: 7/29/2007
From: Washington, Indiana
Status: offline
Being totally transparent here, I don't cope with being single very well and as time passes, the worse I cope. Having a wife and children has been my greatest desire for as long as I can remember and so far the Lord has chosen to deny me that. Not only am I single/never married at 44, I have never had a woman express an interest, no girlfriend, nothing even close.
At times the loneliness becomes oppressive, it's at those times that all of my coping mechanisms and strategies breakdown and I take it out on God. I know that He can deal with all of my anger, loneliness and bitterness, but I feel guilty all the same for not wanting the same thing for my life that He does.
I have avoided posting in the other thread you referenced because of the predomance of people who enjoy the single life in spite of their desire for a spouse, because I don't like being single. Does the prospect of reaching the age of 50 and still be single feel like a death sentence? No, it feels more like being a complete and total failure, especially when my classmates from college are becoming grandparents when I've never even had a girlfriend for the first time.

I cope more often than not, but the frequency of those times when I don't increases as times passes.


_____________________________

There is nothing so important that it can't be put off until tomorrow.
Post #: 4
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/13/2008 10:37:52 PM   
CoeurdeLeon_


Posts: 9314
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
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There is some amount of "coping" involved in any set of circumstances. Newlyweds have to cope with getting used to living with someone. Parents have to cope with different things at their children's different ages. Empty nesters often have to cope with caring for their aging parents. There are no perfect circumstances and everyone has to cope with something at some time in their life. We're all in the same boat in that respect, single or married or whatever.

It was said in the other thread that singles have a richer life because of all the activities we use to cope with being single. But I disagree. I contend that there is no richer life, there are only different kinds of richness.

Some people may live as though they have have no richness in life. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. An epiphany, a moment, is all it takes to change poor living to rich living regardless of circumstances.

_____________________________

This morning I was awakened by the sound of purple
colliding with the fragrance of laughter.
Eutychus







New Blog
Post #: 5
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/13/2008 10:45:09 PM   
iheartgmc

 

Posts: 55
Joined: 7/12/2008
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i feel like i am coping pretty well. i've come to the understanding that when God feels like i am ready to be in a relationship with someone then He will allow it. i can honestly look back at my past relationships and see why they did not work. God was not in it at all and they were very unhealthy relationships. I continue to recite that God only wants what is best for me and I feel great getting to know me without someone else influencing my thoughts. I feel great doing things that I like to do until that right person comes along. Until then, like stated in Phillipians, I'll continue to keep my eyes on the prize.... seeking His face in Heaven.

_____________________________

artists I'm listening to this month:

Our World Redeemed by FLAME (for the fourth month)
Heart Revolution by Hillsong
Portable Sounds by tobyMac
Post #: 6
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/13/2008 11:18:11 PM   
ShallbeRebuilt


Posts: 2192
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pauley464

Being totally transparent here, I don't cope with being single very well and as time passes, the worse I cope. Having a wife and children has been my greatest desire for as long as I can remember and so far the Lord has chosen to deny me that. Not only am I single/never married at 44, I have never had a woman express an interest, no girlfriend, nothing even close.
At times the loneliness becomes oppressive, it's at those times that all of my coping mechanisms and strategies breakdown and I take it out on God. I know that He can deal with all of my anger, loneliness and bitterness, but I feel guilty all the same for not wanting the same thing for my life that He does.
I have avoided posting in the other thread you referenced because of the predomance of people who enjoy the single life in spite of their desire for a spouse, because I don't like being single. Does the prospect of reaching the age of 50 and still be single feel like a death sentence? No, it feels more like being a complete and total failure, especially when my classmates from college are becoming grandparents when I've never even had a girlfriend for the first time.

I cope more often than not, but the frequency of those times when I don't increases as times passes.



I think you've said something very important in this bolded section, Pauley. RubySparkles said something similar in another thread...the scripture thread. It may be a revealing statement that can shed some light on the subject.

I want to ask you the same question I asked her...are you following God as hard as you can? If so, then there is no shame, no shoulda/coulda/woulda in not being married. There's no scriptural mandate to marry and have kids by a certain age. Why would you put requirements on yourself that God does not put on you? Goodness knows there are plenty of requirements God does make of us that are impossible for us to keep in our human flesh without adding on standards from a society that is repelled by the very thought of God. What difference does it make how your classmates are living their lives? Are they a reliable measuring stick for your own life? No. There is only one reliable measuring stick for a Christian.

Are they living their lives by following God as hard as they can? That's the only thing that matters.

It is easy to judge ourselves by our perception of society's standards...i.e., if I can't get a girlfriend then I'm not a real person, or not a good person, or I'm a reject. But society's standards are not God's standards, not by a long shot. And as Christians, we have only one set of standards we are required to meet. Further, God promises to provide everything we need to meet them, including making up the difference when we fail to meet them.

Are there places in my life where I am not following God as hard as I can? Yeah. But changing that is not a way to play "Let's Make A Deal" with God. I shouldn't work to change those things in my life so that I can say "Hey God...I did my part, now You have to give me a spouse!" Once I recognize those places, I need to start praying that God will give me grace and strength to follow Him as hard as I can in those areas, and make any specific changes He asks of me simply because I am sold out to Him lock, stock and barrel.

My point is that your singleness is not about your worth as a person or a servant of the Lord Most High, Pauley. I pray that God will open your heart to understand this soon.

besiderself

_____________________________

SHALLBE’S BATTY BELFRY

Post #: 7
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/13/2008 11:23:13 PM   
9drtr

 

Posts: 1682
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Toronto the Good
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pauley464

Being totally transparent here, I don't cope with being single very well and as time passes, the worse I cope. Having a wife and children has been my greatest desire for as long as I can remember and so far the Lord has chosen to deny me that. Not only am I single/never married at 44, I have never had a woman express an interest, no girlfriend, nothing even close.
At times the loneliness becomes oppressive, it's at those times that all of my coping mechanisms and strategies breakdown and I take it out on God. I know that He can deal with all of my anger, loneliness and bitterness, but I feel guilty all the same for not wanting the same thing for my life that He does.
I have avoided posting in the other thread you referenced because of the predomance of people who enjoy the single life in spite of their desire for a spouse, because I don't like being single. Does the prospect of reaching the age of 50 and still be single feel like a death sentence? No, it feels more like being a complete and total failure, especially when my classmates from college are becoming grandparents when I've never even had a girlfriend for the first time.

I cope more often than not, but the frequency of those times when I don't increases as times passes.



This expresses my feelings and reactions completely, even down to being the same age. The only difference is that I have had women express interest, just not Christian women.

_____________________________

Edwin

When we know who is coming, how can we worry about what is coming? When the last hour belongs to us, how can we worry about the next minute?
Ross Crighton
Post #: 8
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/13/2008 11:55:00 PM   
Prairiehiker


Posts: 3250
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: 9drtr

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pauley464

Being totally transparent here, I don't cope with being single very well and as time passes, the worse I cope. Having a wife and children has been my greatest desire for as long as I can remember and so far the Lord has chosen to deny me that. Not only am I single/never married at 44, I have never had a woman express an interest, no girlfriend, nothing even close.
At times the loneliness becomes oppressive, it's at those times that all of my coping mechanisms and strategies breakdown and I take it out on God. I know that He can deal with all of my anger, loneliness and bitterness, but I feel guilty all the same for not wanting the same thing for my life that He does.
I have avoided posting in the other thread you referenced because of the performance of people who enjoy the single life in spite of their desire for a spouse, because I don't like being single. Does the prospect of reaching the age of 50 and still be single feel like a death sentence? No, it feels more like being a complete and total failure, especially when my classmates from college are becoming grandparents when I've never even had a girlfriend for the first time.

I cope more often than not, but the frequency of those times when I don't increases as times passes.



This expresses my feelings and reactions completely, even down to being the same age. The only difference is that I have had women express interest, just not Christian women.


I feel for both of you guys. I've been wanting to respond but couldn't find the words that I felt comfortable writing. I turned to read my one of the daily blogs that i normally read and this is what he wrote. I thought of you guys:

I close with a something I have said many times before. The Prodigal son, there on his knees, his father's touch upon him, was not a "good" or "victorious" Christian. He was broken. A failure. He wasn't even good at being honest. He wanted religion more than grace. His father baptized him in mercy, and resurrected him in grace. His brokenness was wrapped up in the robe and the embrace of God.

This is the link to the whole essay from the Internet Monk. You gotta admire his honesty. I hope you find this essay to be a blessing. Jesus loves you and me just as we are.... When I am weak

_____________________________

Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
Post #: 9
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/14/2008 12:33:35 AM   
Resonance


Posts: 168
Joined: 7/5/2005
From: Vancouver Island
Status: offline
While I do realize that I am only 24, I don't really think I am taking any 'coping' measures at all. I don't think about my being single at all, most of the time. I'm not struggling in any way for now. I have to say that in the past, yes, I've definitely had difficulty with being "alone", and I expect that perhaps I may encounter such a time again. For now, I am content with my life, such as it is (regardless of the fact that I'd really just like this year to be over already, for a variety of reasons... ).

Really, I enjoy being single, if I really do have to put a thought to it. Because, when I think about it, I've honestly not done well when I haven't been single - quite honestly in those times, I wasn't doing well in life as a whole, either - being largely ignorant and irresponsible then. This time in my life now is not meant for a relationship with a man, that much I know....I've got too much else going on right now that is much more important and factors very much into my future, and that of my daughter. I get too distracted and start putting more important things on the back burner when I'm in a relationship. I get too absorbed. Someday, I hope to be able to focus better than that, but until then...


...Until then, I'll just be content with my singleness.

_____________________________

I'm in it deep. Real deep.
Post #: 10
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/14/2008 1:08:02 PM   
sunshinesoprano


Posts: 941
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Georgia
Status: offline
OH yeah. I've coped with it. It's been like a disease eating out my soul, stealing my joy and my worth.

It's hard when you see your friends getting married, having babies, living your dream-the desire that burns hot in your heart.

You wonder what's wrong with you, where you went wrong, what you could do to change the stituation.

You hear "God's saving someone special for you" more times than you can stand and wish they'd just hush. It's like taking triaminic for pneumonia. Tastes sweet but heals nothing.

As you watch your friends so in love, even after 20 years, wishing you had that same sort of relationship. Playing with their kids...going places...doing things.

It's also been hard for me with my mom. Many times I've thought...how could I leave her? How could I go off and get married and leave her alone. Not that I'd abandon her, but we've always been together. I'd miss my cats, too.

It's unbelievably difficult. Sometimes I even wonder if I could sustain a relationship.

I feel Pauley's pain....the only guys that have ever expressed any interest were creeps or married. Not anyone that I would really ever consider.

I've often felt invisible.

But then I remember that I'm set apart. I am different from most folks my age. I never really did the things everyone around me did. God gave me a promise and He'll fulfill it.

In the meantime, that desire burns and it's painful as it does.

_____________________________

Pure Heart-Fresh, Progressive Southern Gospel
Sing, laugh, love, PRAISE!
Post #: 11
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/14/2008 2:44:23 PM   
Pauley464


Posts: 490
Joined: 7/29/2007
From: Washington, Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: besiderself

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pauley464

Being totally transparent here, I don't cope with being single very well and as time passes, the worse I cope. Having a wife and children has been my greatest desire for as long as I can remember and so far the Lord has chosen to deny me that. Not only am I single/never married at 44, I have never had a woman express an interest, no girlfriend, nothing even close.
At times the loneliness becomes oppressive, it's at those times that all of my coping mechanisms and strategies breakdown and I take it out on God. I know that He can deal with all of my anger, loneliness and bitterness, but I feel guilty all the same for not wanting the same thing for my life that He does.
I have avoided posting in the other thread you referenced because of the predomance of people who enjoy the single life in spite of their desire for a spouse, because I don't like being single. Does the prospect of reaching the age of 50 and still be single feel like a death sentence? No, it feels more like being a complete and total failure, especially when my classmates from college are becoming grandparents when I've never even had a girlfriend for the first time.

I cope more often than not, but the frequency of those times when I don't increases as times passes.



I think you've said something very important in this bolded section, Pauley. RubySparkles said something similar in another thread...the scripture thread. It may be a revealing statement that can shed some light on the subject.

I want to ask you the same question I asked her...are you following God as hard as you can? If so, then there is no shame, no shoulda/coulda/woulda in not being married. There's no scriptural mandate to marry and have kids by a certain age. Why would you put requirements on yourself that God does not put on you? Goodness knows there are plenty of requirements God does make of us that are impossible for us to keep in our human flesh without adding on standards from a society that is repelled by the very thought of God. What difference does it make how your classmates are living their lives? Are they a reliable measuring stick for your own life? No. There is only one reliable measuring stick for a Christian.

Are they living their lives by following God as hard as they can? That's the only thing that matters.

It is easy to judge ourselves by our perception of society's standards...i.e., if I can't get a girlfriend then I'm not a real person, or not a good person, or I'm a reject. But society's standards are not God's standards, not by a long shot. And as Christians, we have only one set of standards we are required to meet. Further, God promises to provide everything we need to meet them, including making up the difference when we fail to meet them.

Are there places in my life where I am not following God as hard as I can? Yeah. But changing that is not a way to play "Let's Make A Deal" with God. I shouldn't work to change those things in my life so that I can say "Hey God...I did my part, now You have to give me a spouse!" Once I recognize those places, I need to start praying that God will give me grace and strength to follow Him as hard as I can in those areas, and make any specific changes He asks of me simply because I am sold out to Him lock, stock and barrel.

My point is that your singleness is not about your worth as a person or a servant of the Lord Most High, Pauley. I pray that God will open your heart to understand this soon.

besiderself




Thanks for the reply and the things you said. I always do my best to be obedient to God and live my life for Him in all ways. Do I fail at times? Yes, of course I do. Everybody does and although I have tried bargaining with the Lord in the past I have matured beyond that.
I have a good grasp on all the things you said. I know that I ought not to have any Shoulda/Coulda/Woulda feelings, but they remain there none the less. It is difficult to mainatin a Heavenly attitude when the Earthly cultural mores say that a man needs to be married with children, living in the right house in the right part of town, driving the right kind of car and earning money at a certain dollar amount in order to be a success and earn the respect and admiration of his fellows.
While I can easily dismiss all of this as the unrealistic demands of the natural world on the spiritual man, it is failing in my own personal ambitions that hurts. Having a wife and children was a personal thing. My personal desire for a lifetime mate and my own children has nothing to do with the worlds beliefs about what a successful man is. It is about me and my goals and ambitions.
The situation isn't helped any when people in my church stop me and ask when I'm going to "settle down" as if I am spending all of my free time partying. And then there is the little old lady who asked, "Why don't you grow up and start a family so your mother will have some grandchildren?" It also doesn't help when the only men who are asked to serve are those men who are local businessmen or the parents of the high school basketball star. When I am asked to serve it's as a waiter at the St. Valentines Day banquet for all the couples. Or asked to donate money because they believe that I have more to give because I have no wife or children to support.

You say that there are no Biblical requirements for men to marry and have children and you are correct, but if he hopes to be a leader in the church as an elder or deacon, it is required.


_____________________________

There is nothing so important that it can't be put off until tomorrow.
Post #: 12
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/14/2008 2:58:15 PM  1 votes
Tinkerbell_


Posts: 8544
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: online
How do we cope when we're passed up for the latest promotion?

How do we cope when someone else gets first prize at the science fair?

How do we cope when our neighbours who don't step foot in a church come home driving the expensive cars, live in the nice houses and don't have a financial care in the world?

How do we cope when our children are constantly sick but everyone's else are healthy?

How do we cope with anything?

Being single isn't the end of the world. Sure, we all wish for companionship but as far as coping? I don't want to be 80 years old lying on my deathbed and say, "man...I wasted 80 years wishing I were married."

I could be so many worse things than single. *shrug*

_____________________________

Post #: 13
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/14/2008 2:59:41 PM   
coinpurse

 

Posts: 98
Joined: 5/10/2008
Status: offline
Almost got myself in a relationship last week and I went from happy-go -lucky girl to almost having a breakdown in one day...SINGLENESS HAS ALWAYS BEEN BETTER TO ME...

Some days, my biggest concern is which color nail polish shall I wear? Im enjoying singleness and not having kids...but Id give singleness up tomorrow...I will always have fun...I want the fun to continue with my husband at my side, the kid(s) and the pet dog...

How am I coping? quite well as I do have some time to buy and have so many fun distractions...ask me again in a few years, I will be highly dissapointed and confused if Im still single...but im an expert coper!
Post #: 14
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/14/2008 3:00:18 PM   
Tinkerbell_


Posts: 8544
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: online
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pauley464

You say that there are no Biblical requirements for men to marry and have children and you are correct, but if he hopes to be a leader in the church as an elder or deacon, it is required.

May I ask what denomination this is?

_____________________________

Post #: 15
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/14/2008 3:02:48 PM   
coinpurse

 

Posts: 98
Joined: 5/10/2008
Status: offline
Tinkerbell,

Well said!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

How do we cope when we're passed up for the latest promotion?

How do we cope when someone else gets first prize at the science fair?

How do we cope when our neighbours who don't step foot in a church come home driving the expensive cars, live in the nice houses and don't have a financial care in the world?

How do we cope when our children are constantly sick but everyone's else are healthy?

How do we cope with anything?

Being single isn't the end of the world. Sure, we all wish for companionship but as far as coping? I don't want to be 80 years old lying on my deathbed and say, "man...I wasted 80 years wishing I were married."

I could be so many worse things than single. *shrug*
Post #: 16
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/14/2008 3:03:48 PM   
mutinywxgirl


Posts: 12085
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: coinpurse

Tinkerbell,

Well said!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

How do we cope when we're passed up for the latest promotion?

How do we cope when someone else gets first prize at the science fair?

How do we cope when our neighbours who don't step foot in a church come home driving the expensive cars, live in the nice houses and don't have a financial care in the world?

How do we cope when our children are constantly sick but everyone's else are healthy?

How do we cope with anything?

Being single isn't the end of the world. Sure, we all wish for companionship but as far as coping? I don't want to be 80 years old lying on my deathbed and say, "man...I wasted 80 years wishing I were married."

I could be so many worse things than single. *shrug*



that's why it just got stars.

_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
Post #: 17
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/14/2008 3:06:52 PM   
Tinkerbell_


Posts: 8544
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: online
Wow! Thanks! I'm blushing!!! My first star!!!



_____________________________

Post #: 18
RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/14/2008 3:17:06 PM   
Pauley464


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Joined: 7/29/2007
From: Washington, Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pauley464

You say that there are no Biblical requirements for men to marry and have children and you are correct, but if he hopes to be a leader in the church as an elder or deacon, it is required.

May I ask what denomination this is?




Mainstream Christianity.

I Timothy 3 In reference to overseers. (Or elders.)
4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. 5 (if anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) NIV

I Timothy 3
13 A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well. NIV

But this is off subject.


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RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/14/2008 3:17:40 PM   
mutinywxgirl


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From: west coast of FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pauley464

You say that there are no Biblical requirements for men to marry and have children and you are correct, but if he hopes to be a leader in the church as an elder or deacon, it is required.

May I ask what denomination this is?


It's not a denomination at all:

1 Timothy 3:12

King James Version (KJV)
Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.
1 Timothy 3:11-13 (in Context) 1 Timothy 3 (Whole Chapter)

New American Standard Bible (NASB)
Deacons must be husbands of only one wife, and good managers of their children and their own households.
1 Timothy 3:11-13 (in Context) 1 Timothy 3 (Whole Chapter)

In many churches, elders and deacons and leaders are required to be married - for the above reasons. Read all of 1 Tim 3.


Okay, so now that this is off topic, we're going to take it back ON topic - about coping with singleness.

_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/14/2008 3:19:31 PM   
WhiteRoseBlessings


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Tink - awesome post!

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RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/14/2008 3:20:56 PM   
Tinkerbell_


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From: NeverNeverLand
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings

Tink - awesome post!

Thanks!

I actually thought I was going to get jumped on for it...LOL

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RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/14/2008 3:21:54 PM   
hotsaucygma


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If the definition on WordWeb counts: Comes to terms or deals successfully with...

Yep, I'm coping. I am successfully dealing with being single. I have come to terms with being single. Am I always happy with being single? No. Am I ok with that. Yes. I wasn't always happy married either... now that's an understatement if I ever heard one...

Life is good. Like Tink said
quote:

I don't want to be 80 years old lying on my deathbed and say, "man...I wasted 80 years wishing I were married."


I also wouldn't want to be 80 years old saying "man I wish I hadn't been married all those years..."

I also love what Lioness said-
quote:

I contend that there is no richer life, there are only different kinds of richness.
I love and except the richness of my life in this given moment, yep, I'll "cope" with it just like it is right now, Thanks Lord!

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RE: "Coping" with Singleness? - 7/14/2008 3:22:41 PM   
mutinywxgirl


Posts: 12085
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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Why? You said what most of us feel. It's all good!


While I may have to "cope" with my singleness now - it's really not something I think about. I am single. It's part of me. And, I highly doubt that part is going to change.

_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
Post #: 24