Finding myself jealous/insecure around other women...

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Finding myself jealous/insecure around other women...

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Finding myself jealous/insecure around other women... - 4/21/2008 9:12:22 AM

nicoleh84

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline

I have issues. Im extremely insecure with my appearance and when Im around other females I feel compulsed to stare and compare. I HATE IT but I feel like I dont have control over this...I hate going places and being near another female thats dressed provocatively because I feel like shes trying to "show off" or MAKE me insecure/jealous...

Any advice? This is driving me crazy.

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RE: Finding myself jealous/insecure around other women... - 4/21/2008 2:44:56 PM

doinkdom

Posts: 3640
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
Status: offline

Well firstly, of course you have control over this. God has provided you a way to flee this area of thinking. You can also handle this because God strengthens you as you learn.

You must train your mind to think on things lovely, pure, beautiful. Renew your mind daily with the words of Truth, not the words or condition of our culture.

This is exactly the kind of thing that I take issue with because it has the potential to prevent you (and many other women) from having female friends. This history of comparison as though we were in direct competition with every female on the planet. But for what? Seriously....for what?

Even some Christian marriage books give advice that feeds this sort of thinking. It's terrible because the prize is not man, the prize is God.

Anyways...nicole, you can stop it - it just takes some self-control. And, then pray for a desire and heart change to stop it, a desire to have female friends, a desire to stop comparing yourself with anyone.

And, as a fellow sister in Christ, if you feel bad being around girls that dress the way you describe - remove yourself from their presence. That might be a good place to start.

_____________________________

Religion is about me. Gospel is about Jesus -- Mark Driscoll
A church planter wife's blog: http://peacemakingirl.wordpress.com/

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RE: Finding myself jealous/insecure around other women... - 4/21/2008 4:17:45 PM

Auben

Posts: 1636
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Where pines tower and cranberries float
Status: offline

Have you ever played boardgames with a group of guys and wondered why everything had to be so competitive?

Women do the same things with each other...over looks, men, clothing, popularity.

You do have control over this. It is hard but you can retrain yourself to see other women not as competition but as sisters in Christ. When you see yourself falling back into this pattern you can think about something positive about the other person. She's nice or she's smart or (at the very least) she's neat and clean.

As for women who dress provocatively, think about how unsure you feel and double or triple it for them. Their outfit is their way of insuring that they won't be disliked or forgotten. How sad is that? You can treat them with compassion because you feel the same feelings they do (even if you don't act on them).

_____________________________

Tamara

~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~

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