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Foreigners - 7/24/2008 1:41:09 AM
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captain
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Hi all.
I would like to know what your feelings are about Asian (Chinese, Korean, Japanese etc) culture, food, women, and, of course, men.
Thanks.
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RE: Foreigners - 7/24/2008 3:27:13 AM
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saraimay75
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As people they are just like anyone else. There are rude ones, polite ones, good ones, bad ones, loud ones and quiet ones...I try not to stereotype. My grandmother comes from the Phillipeans. I am part Filipino.
I live in Hawaii we are a very multicultural place.
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RE: Foreigners - 7/24/2008 8:30:56 AM
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sudden
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From: Toronto
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Chinese, Korean and Japanese cultures are all differ from each other greatly....the languages, the customs, dances, music and food are unique to each. Because they are different I find your question difficult to understand.
I have enjoyed acquaintences with folks from each of these cultures.
Perhaps you had some particular aspects of each of these cultures in mind?
Could you be a little more specific with your question?
Sudden
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RE: Foreigners - 7/24/2008 11:23:46 AM
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Auben
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From: Where pines tower and cranberries float
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Very interesting.
It's vague answer but the question was vague too.
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~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~
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RE: Foreigners - 7/25/2008 2:01:07 AM
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captain
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You're right. That is a vague question. I wasn't sure how to to put the question in the right words... well I'll be more open.
Well I am Asian (Korean specifically) and I attend a mega church that is mostly caucasian. I love the church, pastor, the people, and everything about it. I am growing spiritually and serving there. But I kind of get the feeling that I am still treated as an outsider. I been with the church for several years so it isn't because I am new. It is great that a lot of people recognize me because of my ethnicity. But I get a feeling that the women there are not attracted to Asians. I sometimes feel kind of ignored, looked down, snubbed. Maybe it's me or maybe it's my ethnicity. So to find out I ask do American woman have bad impression of Asian guys or Asian culture. Maybe its because of how Asians are portrayed in the media. I don't know. It would be nice to date and marry someone who goes to the same church. Should I look elsewhere?
Thanks.
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RE: Foreigners - 7/25/2008 1:52:21 PM
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car2ner
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IMHO just being asian might not be a real issue, atleast not in the circles I've been in. I bet if you asked the typical white guy, more than a few might feel like outsiders, too, and are probably wondering why the women haven't shown interest in them.
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RE: Foreigners - 7/26/2008 7:45:03 PM
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Focusing
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Well, if you are in the Phoenix area and in your mid-30's to early 40's, I have a friend to introduce you to. She is looking specifically for an Asian man.
Anyway, to answer your question, I don't see your ethnicity as being an obstacle. It's an aspect of who you are that would be interesting to find out more about.
Do you belong to any small groups, or go to any get-togethers at your church? Do you have any special hobbies? Sports you like to do that others can do too? Such as hiking or biking or kayaking ...
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RE: Foreigners - 7/28/2008 9:23:10 AM
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sudden
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Ethnicity is important when choosing a mate for some in that if we are from the same cultural background there are some things we are going to understand about each other much more readily. If you are willling to persevere and learn and be tolerant of differences that you find abhorent and/or try to change the behaviour which is not abhorent to you but possibly to your mate. - my personal one is in China - they don't use handkerchiefs at least they didn't about 10 years ago...perhaps that has changed...then it will work out fine. ( That said the city I live in has a population of well over 100,000 Chinese and I seldom see anyone here blowing their nose directly onto the ground).
Should you look outside your particular church building? Sure why not? Keep an open mind...look everywhere...there is nothing to say that the Christian girl you are to marry will not be found elsewhere.
Sudden
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I will lie down in rest and sleep and peace, for thou, O Lord, only makest me to dwell in safety.
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RE: Foreigners - 7/29/2008 4:38:04 PM
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tinydancer2
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quote:
ORIGINAL: captain
You're right. That is a vague question. I wasn't sure how to to put the question in the right words... well I'll be more open.
Well I am Asian (Korean specifically) and I attend a mega church that is mostly caucasian. I love the church, pastor, the people, and everything about it. I am growing spiritually and serving there. But I kind of get the feeling that I am still treated as an outsider. I been with the church for several years so it isn't because I am new. It is great that a lot of people recognize me because of my ethnicity. But I get a feeling that the women there are not attracted to Asians. I sometimes feel kind of ignored, looked down, snubbed. Maybe it's me or maybe it's my ethnicity. So to find out I ask do American woman have bad impression of Asian guys or Asian culture. Maybe its because of how Asians are portrayed in the media. I don't know. It would be nice to date and marry someone who goes to the same church. Should I look elsewhere?
Thanks.
Hi Captain,
I kind of understand your situation as treated as an outsider after a while in a mostly white mega church - but - loved the pastor, serving etc I was in this situation for 8 years and mostly belonging to a prayer group, evangelism and missions and having mostly as close friends a small group of people from minorities and/or foreigners. Than I was lead not long ago, to another megachurch much more multicultural and multiracial.
I do think this situation much depends where you are in the US...and of course individual peoples ways of dealings with different peoples groups and foreigners in general. It takes practice, real exposure, authentic curiosity and many etcs to get to know and keep knowing anyone in more than a superficial level. To same it takes go beyond their confort zones. 
My feelings reggarding Asias are open to find out more about "them"..if they come to me speaking in Portuguese we are probably end up hugging on the spot, of course, and when and Asia speaks Portuguese and is from Brasil most certain those will be Japonese because Brasil, my country have a huge Japonese population (the biggest outside Japan)..then it will be a connection on the spot as we speak mother tongue with one another! Now, if an Asian person starts to speak English with accent then will be welcome in to my heart too because they are foreigners like myself, but of course no huggs because of cultural social spaces there are into place going on (?) I will have to check out the person 1st and etc Now, if they come around speaking English then it must be an US born or educated early in life here and etc...still have to check person ways and etc and at same time keep observing my own behaviour and etc because I do come from a culture that does not observe much peoples social spaces, that I have to watch out that things flows nice in respect to ones cultures and personal ways etc.
But I have to confess that generaly I kind of walk in eggs shells reggarding Asian culture particularly someone from older generation that I know is foreigner from cultures with specific more tender soft manners then my own, yep...I will mirror them as even slightly bow my head a bit, if I observe their moves at first I will do the same. But younger generation people I may not, depends.
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RE: Foreigners - 7/29/2008 5:48:19 PM
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Auben
Posts: 1605
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From: Where pines tower and cranberries float
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I think it's kind of hard to connect with anyone at a mega-church unless you're involved with small group ministries where you can get to know someone.
Depending on your area major cities have specifically Korean churches. I know there's one in the Chicago suburbs I passed it often. It was huge.
Regarding white women, how do you know they aren't attracted to you? I'll be honest, I can think of at least 2 Asian men off the top of my head who I found very attractive back in my younger days but they didn't return anything. They probably had no idea I liked them.
It would be easier to think about who you like (any race) and then concentrate on befriending/getting to know them. They're not going to come up and grab you. You have to take the time, do the work, join the small groups, go for coffee in groups, have general conversations, etc etc.
Love isn't easy no matter what your ethnicity.
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Tamara
~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~
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RE: Foreigners - 7/29/2008 7:16:42 PM
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tinydancer2
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Ops..sorry Captain, but I realize just now the question is target to American women in particular...
I saw "foreigner" around and I just went for it !
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RE: Foreigners - 7/29/2008 9:27:53 PM
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rgod
Posts: 1774
Joined: 4/25/2005
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quote:
I kind of understand your situation as treated as an outsider after a while in a mostly white mega church - but - loved the pastor, serving etc I was in this situation for 8 years and mostly belonging to a prayer group, evangelism and missions and having mostly as close friends a small group of people from minorities and/or foreigners. Than I was lead not long ago, to another megachurch much more multicultural and multiracial.
Captain, I've similar experiences to both you and AdrianaS. A few years ago, the Lord led me to this church that wasn't very diverse (when I arrived, I increased the african american population by 50% so I was one of three). The church I attended previously had been predominantly african american, but the Lord wanted me to attend this church for a period of time. Well, the church was pretty far from my house and one of the elders was incredibly racist. He would openly use racial epithets when he would describe black people who lived in a nearby city among other things. Then, he'd whine and complain about why God wouldn't open the door for him to do ministry there. (I thought to myself - Duh! Why would the Lord send you to a people that you hate so that you can misrepresent him? Seems like that went out of fashion with Jonah.)
Anyway, I knew that the Lord wanted me to be there, even though at first I really didn't want to. However, while I was walking in obedience to what the Lord wanted, he connected me with people there who were really sweet and loving - it was the older generation that really embraced me at first, then some of the kids and a few of the adults. By that time, I realized that the elder just had issues (beyond his chronic racism). There was something specific that the Lord used that congregation to give to me while I was there and He used me to be a blessing to the congregation there as well. God didn't have me stay there for long, but when I think about some of the people there I realize that it was a blessing. And, lest anyone think I'm singling out one group of people - I've seen it happen with minority and majority groups, so in actuality, no one group has the monopoly on making people of other races (or even the same race) feel like an outsider.
So, my advice to you would be this. Find out where you feel that the Lord wants you to be. Where does he want you to serve? It might be at that church or it might be at another one. I've been in all black congregations, mixed, and ones where I was in the minority. I've been included and rejected in all three types. Currently, I attend a spirit-filled house church that is mostly hispanic, with a few white and black people. I am here because I know that the Lord wants me here. I did ask the Lord for a diverse congregation among other things because I wanted to increase my odds of being accepted - but I was willing to go wherever God said to go. The non-negotiables for me was that the bible teaching would be solid and that they would be open to the movement of the Holy Spirit. Occasionally someone will come to the house church who can't handle the racial mix (they are REALLY easy to spot). For the most part, the people who stay are the people who are called there and who love the Lord. I do wonder how I'm going to find a husband because there is only one single guy there. But, the world is much bigger than my church, so the Lord will probably bring him in another way.
The Lord might have some other places for you to go to find your wife. While it might be an asian church, it might not be. Maybe it will be through volunteer work or something that you do in the community - or he might have you transfer to a more multicultural church where you'll be welcomed. Or to another predominantly white congregation where you'll be welcomed. Or he might have you in that same congregation for a bit longer, but show you a few people that you might have overlooked. In any event, if you position yourself so that you can be where God wants you to be, he'll direct you. I do pray that you'll be able to find a place where you will be welcomed and accepted. I think that is important - perhaps that is what you can pray about as well. Then just be open to wherever and whomever the Lord sends you (if anywhere).
All the best -- rgod
< Message edited by rgod -- 7/30/2008 7:22:23 PM >
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RE: Foreigners - 7/30/2008 11:48:16 AM
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fluffmonkey
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Just continue to be patient God will lead you to one your suppost to be with, good way to meet more women is get more involved with things happening at church...
I like asians ^_^
Good way to meet women and talk with them is get involved in small groups or bible studies or other things happening at your church... since you said you went to a mega church, when you get involved with smaller group of people it makes it easier to meet friends and new ladies.
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RE: Foreigners - 8/2/2008 3:12:47 AM
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captainfraulein
Posts: 537
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From: Planet Earth
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quote:
ORIGINAL: captain
Hi all.
I would like to know what your feelings are about Asian (Chinese, Korean, Japanese etc) culture, food, women, and, of course, men.
Thanks.
As somebody with an Asian Step-mom, step-sisters and somebody who has an Asian sister in law, I just see Asians as people.
The pluses I see of Asians where I live in the Silicon Valley are that they are hard-working and mostly family oriented. The main minus (generally speaking) is that in schools...the kids are sometimes pushed it seems to forego elective type school work and only focus on academics.
I want to go to Japan someday but fear I would stand out too much sort of overweight white gal.
I love Hello Kitty!
HOpe this was too random for you. it is late and I am tired...these thoughts just flowed out of my head.
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