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Hard to hold onto some convictions? - 7/25/2008 4:38:40 PM
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sharp1
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Joined: 7/25/2008
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There is this woman I know in her mid 40's that stated she dated a man age 38, never been married, is saving himself for marriage. Which is great. He's quite active in his church.
She thought it was great too, but she could never figure out why such a handsome man never really caved into having had pre-marital sex, she continued to date until he called it off, due to the fact she was so sensual and physically appealing...he stated he had thoughts of lust, and was afraid to continue to date her, because he would cave to his lust.
He stated that the kissing just got way to intense between each other, eventually he called it off because he couldn't trust himself with her.
Does this mean that she was so physically appealing that he'd be better off with someone more plain looking?
Later, after he called it off, he still went to the bar he usually goes to on a Fri night to see if she was still there...but at that time, she got tired of hanging otu at bars
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RE: Hard to hold onto some convictions? - 7/25/2008 5:54:01 PM
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musicboss11
Posts: 727
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Welcome to the boards. Glad your here. I have to be honest with you though, I have no idea what your asking, or what advice you need. Could you maybe try to clarify things? Thanks.
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RE: Hard to hold onto some convictions? - 7/25/2008 7:36:37 PM
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shadowspring
Posts: 1552
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Well, at that point I guess it's time to start thinking marriage or break up.
It is silly to break up because you are attracted to someone. Are you sure it was the attraction he felt that he was running from, or that he felt the woman was pushing him in the physical aspect of the relationship?
My MK hubby said it was a common ploy at his Christian college for a girl to seduce and guy and then guilt him into marriage, since they had already, ahem, consummated.
If the guy felt that anything like that was going on, I would say he broke it off because the girl was manipulative, not because he was too attracted to her. But I don't know, just guessing here.
_____________________________
"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
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RE: Hard to hold onto some convictions? - 7/25/2008 7:42:49 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sharp1
There is this woman I know in her mid 40's that stated she dated a man age 38, never been married, is saving himself for marriage. Which is great. He's quite active in his church.
Good man. He sounds great so far.
quote:
She thought it was great too, but she could never figure out why such a handsome man never really caved into having had pre-marital sex
This makes me worry about her. Why should a person not be able to tell themselves no? That's like saying she's surprised that all married men aren't cheating on their wives. Some do, but many Christian men don't. Their beliefs are more important than satisfying a desire to do something bad that's in front of their noses. They don't steal other people's money or take their lunch, either.
quote:
, she continued to date until he called it off, due to the fact she was so sensual and physically appealing...he stated he had thoughts of lust, and was afraid to continue to date her, because he would cave to his lust.
I think he is really doing well. But in this circumstance, it's time to marry. That's God's provision. If she wasn't marriage material, then, yeah, break it off.
quote:
He stated that the kissing just got way to intense between each other, eventually he called it off because he couldn't trust himself with her.
OK, here's the problem: he was kissing her. 1 Cor. 7: 1,2 says (God says) it's not good for a man to touch a woman (and it's real hard to kiss without touching!) but because of immorality let every man have his own wife, blah blah blah.
He correctly identified the problem: temptation of immorality, but missed the part how to avoid it: don't touch. Time to get married.
quote:
Does this mean that she was so physically appealing that he'd be better off with someone more plain looking?
It means he wasn't following God's plan. Don't touch, but get married and then touch a whole lot! 
quote:
Later, after he called it off, he still went to the bar he usually goes to on a Fri night to see if she was still there...but at that time, she got tired of hanging otu at bars
Godly people finding dates in bars? Argh! Bars is where people go to drink. The people you find in bars are drinkers. So find godly people in churches, in ministries, and other places where Christians are.
BTW, I really respect this guy for wanting to do it God's way. I wish he knew the Bible a little better so he could fix this problem.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Hard to hold onto some convictions? - 7/25/2008 8:33:11 PM
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sudden
Posts: 167
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Toronto
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sharp1
Does this mean that she was so physically appealing that he'd be better off with someone more plain looking?
I really don't think so. Plain looking women may not be as sensually appealing to look at but they can press buttons too.
There is nothing to indicate that this fellow makes a practice of running away from attractive women.
While he finds her sensually appealing he apparently does not find her appealing enough in other ways to go farther with the relationship (on to marriage). So it is right and proper that he quits her.
Sudden
_____________________________
I will lie down in rest and sleep and peace, for thou, O Lord, only makest me to dwell in safety.
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RE: Hard to hold onto some convictions? - 7/25/2008 8:56:20 PM
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preserved
Posts: 613
Joined: 6/12/2007
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It is not the woman that he ran from...It is the temptation and I have to give him credit..especially if he was not ready to marry this woman...It has nothing to do with her looks...in other words...she came on too strong for him that he was ready to handle..So he did the right thing...he slipped by the kissing but he knows himself better than the woman he was dating..
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RE: Hard to hold onto some convictions? - 7/26/2008 3:49:26 AM
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StraightAhead
Posts: 88
Joined: 4/23/2005
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Maybe her attitude (that she could not figure out why he would not cave in to premarital sex) was evident and he could not trust her to respect HIS convictions. It sounds like she did not share his convictions, he knew this and could not be with someone who did not match with him in this area. Hard to trust someone not to push the envelope too much if you know they would have premarital sex given the opportunity.
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RE: Hard to hold onto some convictions? - 7/26/2008 6:44:55 AM
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StephenJ
Posts: 184
Joined: 12/3/2007
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Wow, this is an interesting story.
Was one person pushing the other? I mean, and maybe I'm reading to much into it, she sounds like she was consciously or subconsciously trying to test his resolve. See how far she could get him to go.
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Rock on!
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RE: Hard to hold onto some convictions? - 7/26/2008 12:05:51 PM
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jaimestarcross
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Joined: 11/28/2005
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*I think he's better off without the woman who couldn't figure out why he didn't "cave" and have pre-marital sex... evidently the woman isn't as mature spiritually as the man and it "sounds" like she was dating him for the wrong reason!
He did good in fleeing from the temptation to engage in pre-marital sex!
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RE: Hard to hold onto some convictions? - 7/26/2008 2:03:37 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jaimestarcross
*I think he's better off without the woman who couldn't figure out why he didn't "cave" and have pre-marital sex... evidently the woman isn't as mature spiritually as the man
Good point, Jaimestarcross!
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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