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Help with ADHD? - 10/25/2008 11:00:37 AM
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woodwind228
Posts: 476
Joined: 5/8/2008
From: Atlanta
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My 6 yo was diagnosed with ADHD last week. I wasn't surprised - I knew she was. Her behavior the past few weeks has been really out of control. She's been suspended twice and has a formal hearing scheduled Monday morning. (It was REALLY bad on Wednesday.) I'm a single mom, so I don't have anyone to help me out with this. (Her "father" is not in the picture at all.)
I'm wondering if any of you have had to deal with an out of control ADHD child and, if so, have you had to deal with your child's school/school board? I know there are educational rights for ADHD kids - where can I get more info on that so she can get the help she needs at school? They knew from day one that she was possible ADHD, and they also knew that she was going to be evaluated, so this should not be a surprise to them. I am surprised, however, at their seemingly lack of interests in actually helping her. They have offered no suggestions and/or resources. I'm afraid they are going to try and get her out of the school so they won't have to "deal with her". Then what? I've been without a job for 1-1/2 years until I got this temp job in mid-August. If this continues, I may not even be able to keep that.
Any helpful suggestions? I know ADHD can be a hot topic with people and I'm not looking for a debate of any kind or any opinionated responses. So please, if you have any helpful suggestions or places I can get reliable information, I'd appreciate it. TIA
_____________________________
*~* Susan *~*
These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world. --John 16:33 KJV
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RE: Help with ADHD? - 10/25/2008 9:24:01 PM
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Lady_of_Faith
Posts: 81
Joined: 9/18/2008
Status: offline
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Hi,
my son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6. His first grade teacher used to call me practically every day at work about incidents, no matter how petty. It was tough and stressful.
I contacted his pediatrician (we're with Kaiser Permanente) and attended a couple of group meetings. Now, a lot of people don't approve of medication to treat ADHD, but in my case, it was a blessing. Because the first grade was so difficult for my son, I opt for him to repeat it. He became more interested in class and participated more, thus he became a better student. He's ten now and is still doing wonders.
I suggest speaking with your daughter's doctor about it and see about attending meetings on ADHD. It helps to meet with other parents in your same situation to pass ideas and suggestions back and forth.
There's a website forum for parents with children that have ADHD (adhdnews.com). This is a good source for information.
Your daughters school, no matter how unsupported they may be MUST provide resources and information about getting help with a child with the disorder. Perhaps go to the school district.
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RE: Help with ADHD? - 10/26/2008 11:42:39 AM
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SteveSund
Posts: 415
Joined: 11/8/2005
From: Michigan
Status: offline
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The National Alliance on Mental Illness is a good starting point. They do a lot of great work in advocating for people with mental illnesses.
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RE: Help with ADHD? - 10/26/2008 9:25:13 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 6007
Status: offline
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Hi Susan,
Yes, my son is ADHD, and I'm a single mom too. It is tough. And emotionally exhausting.
(((Susan)))
You can check out chadd.org, perhaps they have meetings in your area. This is an organization specifically devoted to ADD and ADHD.
Also, google Section 504. It's about disabilities, and ADHD does fall in this category. It involves testing and meeting with the teachers and administrators, and they set up a "schedule" to help your daughter with her specific needs. I will tell you that some schools maintain this tightly and the kids are not singled out, but some schools are a little less careful. I emailed with my son's teachers every day as far as his school work ... what his assignments were each day, and confirming whether or not he turned in his homework - I will give you a heads up that this is an issue that ADD and ADHD kids have a common tendency to do: complete their homework and then not turn it in.
There is help. I will be praying for you, your daughter, and the meeting.
You are certainly not alone. My son received a one-week suspension in kindergarden. 
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat about it more offline.
_____________________________
Instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend. That would be giving as the angels give.
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RE: Help with ADHD? - 10/27/2008 7:15:55 AM
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FreeEagle
Posts: 44
Joined: 7/2/2008
From: Minnesota
Status: offline
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My son had ADHD, and the doctors put him on adredlin, it helped a lot when he took it, but it is a drug, and it does become additive. When he was 17 or 18 we began to ween him off of it. At first it was frustrating because he would loose track of what he was doing.. But he did fine as a young man. Two sides to ADHD - one is the assignments are too easy and the child gets bored very quickly - Keep this child occupied with many events, don't let his mind set idle. The other the child wants to learn, but there is a block, and the child may struggle often having to do some simple tasks over and over again, getting frustrated and wanting to quit. This is the one most of the teaches, and school systems don't want to deal with. If the child can redo the tasks, or at least the basics over and over, he/she will one day grab it and they will be master or very professional at it. This child is the Einstine - Got kicked out of school in either 1st or third grade (can't remember which), and deep down was a genius. In either case I would promote reading - and keep it fun. If they learn to enjoy reading, they can learn everything or anything. If they hate to read, everything else will be a struggle as well.. I would also encourage sports.
But you are also faced with another issue. Sooner or later the school or someone in it is going to accuse you of being unfit - not giving the child attention, and opportunities to learn. Or your child's behavior will cause harm to which you will be held responsible. Or you'll learn the school is abusive to your child. In many of these cases, out of nowhere the state steps in and you're notified that you child has been placed into the hands of child services (taken from you).. hopefully it don't reach that point, because once in that system they seldom get out. But some place along the way, you'll need legal advice. I suggest you look into a http://www.prepaidlegal.com/info/leondc. Not only can you get affordable legal advice anywhere along the way, but if the state ever tries to take your child, you can immediately contact your attorney, even if it's late Friday night or over the weekend.
< Message edited by FreeEagle -- 10/27/2008 8:11:08 AM >
_____________________________
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you. Do not be like the horse and the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.
Psalms 32 8-
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RE: Help with ADHD? - 10/30/2008 8:21:36 AM
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Scraggles6
Posts: 86
Joined: 7/8/2005
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Two of my kids are ADHD. Just remember to do what is best for your child - - I have talked to parents
of ADHD kids that absolutely refuse to use medication, and that is fine for them but if you decide to go that route don't let anyone make you feel like you shouldn't. We held back on the medication for my oldest - I think she lost a whole year of school because of it- I mean she just zoned out, she is a teenager and we are weening her off now. My younger one was the one we had no doubt about putting on medication right away - she was really out of control at school and it didn't help that she had a teacher that had no patiencein dealing with her, by the next year she was doing great. She is now having some trouble in school again (she is in Jr. Hi) and we are debating on raising her dosage (we keep them on the lowest dosage possible) but our doctor wants to wait a while longer and see how she does. I truly believe that without the medication calming down and focusing my kids they would not be doing so well in school (both honor roll kids). I think that was best for my 2, but for others it may not be the best choice - I respect what parents choose for their own children, it is a really tough decision.
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RE: Help with ADHD? - 10/30/2008 8:35:34 AM
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Focusing
Posts: 6007
Status: offline
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Susan, how did the meeting go?
Also, I agree with scraggles6. Medication is an individual choice. My son has been on medication for 3-1/2 years, the lowest dose, and it takes the edge off enough for him to focus and helps him control his impulsiveness. It has been a day-and-night experience for us. He only takes the meds on school days. His self-esteem has improved tenfold, which in turn has had other positive benefits.
Behavior modification is, imo, the best route to start with. Also, food ... or rather the *stuff* in food ... can be the trigger for some kids. When my son has high fructose corn syrup - watch out! It really triggers his hyperactivity. We initially began using the Feingold Diet, but as he got older it became increasingly difficult to control his diet. He's now old enough to realize how certain foods affect his behavior.
_____________________________
Instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend. That would be giving as the angels give.
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RE: Help with ADHD? - 11/2/2008 6:12:30 PM
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ReadingSports
Posts: 70
Joined: 7/18/2008
From: USA
Status: offline
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I also have a child with AD/HD. He was diagnosed at 7, he's now 13. He's type 1, which used to be called ADD.
1. I would echo what others have said about seeing a good pediatrician with a proven background in AD/HD.
2. There are many medication options besides stimulants. My son takes Stratera. As for addiction... you wouldn't not give your child insulin if they were diabetic. Many AD/HD children need the meds and probably will for the rest of their life.
3. IEP -- If your child is really struggling, push for an IEP. Don't let them tell you that you'll be labeling your child. That's wrong, you'll be giving your child the help they need. Actually, push for an IEP. If they've made the diagnosis, then they should give you the IEP. Ask for one now. That starts the clock ticking, they have 90 days to respond. If they give you one, then say a prayer of thanks and sign on the dotted line. Seriously...
quote:
I am surprised, however, at their seemingly lack of interests in actually helping her.
Yep, that's the way they treat these kids. Be your child's advocate! Be nice, but be assertive. We got the office of civil rights involved... The school district didn't like that.  However don't go for legal remedies right away.
4. 504 -- IEP is under the special education law, it's the better option, an accommodation plan or 504 plan helps.
5. Some small percentage of children need dietary modifications or have success with it. Most do better with meds, a schedule, and consistancy, consistancy, consistancy.
In any case, I will be praying for you.
Oh, and by the way, my son got one B and all the rest were A's last semester. And he's as smart as a whip. He's also a better writer than my oldest that all the teachers love. You can have success with this! Don't let anyone tell you that your child won't go to college or can't do the work or is lazy. 
Because she isn't!!!!
< Message edited by ReadingSports -- 11/2/2008 6:32:30 PM >
_____________________________
Micah 6:8
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RE: Help with ADHD? - 11/3/2008 4:52:05 PM
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Row1
Posts: 250
Joined: 12/2/2005
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you may or may not want to use meds.
BUT either way: the meds don't teach a kid to raise their hand before asking a queston. The meds to not make a child clean up after playing. The meds do not make a child speak in an appropriate tone.
Kids learn this from parents. Since you are a single mom, you have this two-person job to do largely on your own. So, you will have to be super effective as a parent. This is the task of any single parent. Because your child may have ADD, your task is even more crucial.
You are going to have to be very strong and very consistent in parenting. rules, consequences, quality time, routine, clear rules, clear expectations, etc.
Also you are going to really have to be on top of each class in school Who is the teacher? What specifically are they working on? How are they graded? Some kids are just "good" students, and you can basically ignore much of this. Others require a lot of monitoring and guidance.
Since you really need your job to work out, plus this ADD will be a big challenge, I would get help wherever I could. Search the internet for parenting resources. Get any books that seem like they speak to you. Join up with any programs at your church that are for helping people be effective parents. Try to get help from a strong man in the family: your brothers or your dad. My stepdaughter will listen to me and pay attn just because I start to raise my eyebrows -- cuz I am not a softy like my lovely wife. I am very firm [but we never hit, never do name-calling, and never humiliate or belittle - just state the expectation, expect respect, and deliver consequences both good and bad].
I only wish I could be helping out my 2 nieces, but they don't live nearby.
Finally, read Proverbs. That level of guidance is required of you to raise this child. God has big plans for her. And you have a role for getting her ready. A pill may help but it can't be a substitute for the parental guidance talked about in Proverbs.
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RE: Help with ADHD? - 11/7/2008 9:34:37 PM
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frazzledmom
Posts: 128
Joined: 7/4/2007
Status: offline
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My youngest son, almost 10, was diagnosed with ADHD last year. We have been using a variety of non-pharmaceutical interventions to help.
INTERNALLY:
-We had him tested for food allergies and sensitivities and have drastically reduced / eliminated those that caused problems (dairy and wheat)
-He takes a daily fish oil supplement high in DHA which helps brain function
-We use a naturopathic herbal remedy called Focus Drops from Native Remedies. It was created by a psychologist and is manufactured to pharmaceutical standards and has a 100%satisfaction guarantee. check out www.nativeremedies.com for more info.
-When money allows, we hope to get him involved in more physical activities. That's what Michael Phelps' mom did to help him!!! I'd say it worked pretty well!
EXTERNALLY:
-He's on an IEP at school for a learning disability, but is being re-evaluated and it is my hope the ADHD will be addressed in the IEP
-My husband and I recently went through a great parenting class class called "Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach" based on the work of William Glasser. Find the book. Devour it. Highlight it. Use it. If you can be consistent, it really works.
-I have charts of morning routine, afternoon routine and evening routines posted in different parts of the house. I also have a "Going Out the Door list" on neon yellow paper plastered on the front door. With such visual cues, you can say "Check the morning list" or "Check the Ready to Go List" rather than constantly nagging every few minutes about something.......I won't say I never nag anymore. But the lists have helped in the uphill battle of developing habits. The idea is to help kids be more independent and less dependent on us-nagging makes them dependent on us; a checklist /chart helps them be independent.
I would say balance a traditional pediatrician's perspective with input from a naturopathic physician that comes highly reccomended. (Ask around your church or community for reccomendations.) Educate yourself as much as you can as time allows. You need to do what works for you while keeping long-term health and goals in mind.
Keep us posted on your journey.
Best Wishes,
Frazzledmom
_____________________________
I hear, I forget.
I see, I remember.
I do, I understand.
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RE: Help with ADHD? - 11/8/2008 8:32:59 AM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 2060
Joined: 2/28/2007
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Have you talked with the teacher about this specific thing? Did you decide to medicate your daughter? I she is that out of control, are you sure there isn't something in addition to that? My son has ADHD and it is managed very well by medication. We have had no problems with him since he went on it.
If you started with the teacher and didn't get anywhere, the next person to go to is the principal and if your school has a guidance counselor or psychologist on staff, they would be important to be in on any meetings. That is what they deal with. Our grade school does have a guidance counselor mostly for this reason.
Your doctor should also be able to tell you what to do with an uncooperative school, but your daughter is going to have to learn new ways to cope when she gets frustrated and that while it is hard, she can't get out of control like that. It is going to take a while and probably never going to be totally what teachers would see as their idea of perfect, but they should WANT to work with you because in the end, it is less work for everybody.
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RE: Help with ADHD? - 11/8/2008 9:09:37 AM
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frazzledmom
Posts: 128
Joined: 7/4/2007
Status: offline
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Hey Woodwind228 (I like that name-I play flute!)
I didn't really answer your questions from your original post so now I have my teacher hat on. Navigating the world of special ed. is challenging even for an "insider" like me.
1. Go to either school psychologist or your Special Ed. teacher and begin the process of formal evaluation with the intent of getting and IEP established for your daughter. You already have a diagnosis. Ask to sign releases so that medical info from the doctor can be shared with the school as part of the process. You will likely fill out another Connor's Survey or a BASC 2 or other parent profiles. It would be good to start documenting incidences to keep them fresh in mind for this. Ask the teacher to document incidences also. The teacher needs to be able to show that he or she has tried a number of interventions to no avail and your daughter needs more support / added services.
2. Once ADHD is addressed in an IEP, it is an official legal document-the rules by which the school has to play and you will have some leverage to remind them of that. Each district usually has Special Ed. support groups and mediation specialists and many lawyers have specialized in this.
3. Educate yourself, educate yourself, educate yourself. There are so many different approaches, almost as individual as every child with ADHD. It all boils down to regulating brain chemistry one way or another.
4. Surround yourself with support. I second the idea of finding strong male role models for your daughter. CHADD groups are helpful. THere are also online forums.
On the lighter side, your vocabulary will expand and you will learn a whole new set of acronyms-IEP, RTI, LD, MDT and SST to name a few that are thrown around to confuse and baffle us.
It's a journey. One step at a time. Keep us posted.
Frazzledmom
_____________________________
I hear, I forget.
I see, I remember.
I do, I understand.
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RE: Help with ADHD? - 11/8/2008 2:14:36 PM
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ladyingrace1979
Posts: 414
Joined: 3/14/2008
From: Fresno CA
Status: offline
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Frazzledmom has the steps perfectly down. Sounds like someone who has been there done that. As for us my twins have been in special ed since birth for general developmental delays and my older daughter is on a 504 for accommodations for her fine motor skills. At first it is a daunting process. My recommendation is to first ask your pediatrician what they would recommend for accommodations in school. If they have no help for you ask for a referral to a child psychologist or developmental pediatrician. It is always a good idea to have a set of eyes outside of the school district. First lets give you a few definitions, a 504 plan is used when a child is in regular education and doesn't receive services from specialist such as speech therapy, adaptive PE or occupational therapy. It modifies the regular classroom environment to help the child function along side grade level peers. An IEP is an Individual Education Plan. It is used for children in both special ed and regular ed. who receive special services or are in specialized classrooms.
Having said all of that. I also wanted to suggest this website http://www.wrightslaw.com/ It has a huge amount of information on the law that governs services for children with learning disabilities.
I know that right now you maybe feeling a bit overwhelmed. You will do fine, but we are here to listen and support you.
Kim Q
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RE: Help with ADHD? - 11/10/2008 2:34:07 AM
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locomom
Posts: 190
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
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Although my daughter's diagnosis of ADHD turn out to be incorrect, she was high on the scale at the age you daughter is. You may want to think about getting some counseling for you to learn to manage her behavior. Getting help was a relief for us for the few times over the years when we got stuck in negative cycles of poor behavior and frustrated parents.
The other thing you might want to do is see if your state has a learning disabilities law center. When we lived in Maryland, there was one local to us. I'm sorry I do not remember how I found that out. Either the psychologist we hired (outside the school system) or your child's doctor or a LD center could probably tell you.
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