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How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 6:44:01 AM
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humbleinspirit
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How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? I have had very few dates in my life. I do not know if I will ever get married, even though I think that I could be a good husband if I ever do. I read all about it in a book, just kidding! But seriously, how important is dating and being social in general?
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 6:58:34 AM
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humbleinspirit
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Thanks G-N-M! I think my question is how important is it for interaction with the single Christian adult. Is it ok to be a social hermit or should singles be dating and hanging out with the opposite gender instead? I just do not know.
Also, for a single male, is it falsely leading a woman on if you date but do not plan to pursue a relationship with her? Would this question be better suited for she says? I am being a little off topic with this last question anyhow.
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 7:04:10 AM
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Grace-N-Mercy
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quote:
Is it ok to be a social hermit or should singles be dating and hanging out with the opposite gender instead?
Right now, I'm totally a social hermit, so that means it's ok.  But seriously, if you are wanting/needing more interaction, then by all means get some! But if you're content with where you are, then that's a gift and don't worry about it. And don't let others dissuade you.
quote:
Also, for a single male, is it falsely leading a woman on if you date but do not plan to pursue a relationship with her?
That's a good she-says question. I'm sure, though, the guys won't mind answering that one, so it's up to you.
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 7:06:25 AM
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humbleinspirit
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Maybe I will start the thread in here or in Relationships instead. The only problem with the later is very few seem to go in there at all. In She Says, there is a big audience of women that respond instead. Hmmm...
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 7:11:00 AM
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Grace-N-Mercy
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You could put it in relationships and then put a link to it in your signature. Just an idea.
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<-- When did Hollywood go from classy to 'cheap & easy'?
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 7:15:22 AM
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humbleinspirit
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Ok, I just started it in Singles. I guess that is the best place even if it is a question that women in general both married and single would know the best on.
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 9:04:18 AM
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ShallbeRebuilt
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? I have had very few dates in my life. I do not know if I will ever get married, even though I think that I could be a good husband if I ever do. I read all about it in a book, just kidding! But seriously, how important is dating and being social in general?
The question really is: are you following God as hard as you can in all your activities and relationships?
If God is nudging you to be more social, or pointing out certain ladies as potentials, and you refuse to move out of your comfort zone, then you are in disobedience to Him.
If where you are serving God with all your heart causes you to be isolated, then you have to trust that He will bring anyone He feels it is important for you to have a relationship with to you in that isolated environment.
"Dating", per se', (defined for the purposes of this post as "asking a lady if you may pick her up, take her to some social activity or eating place, spending several hours in her company, paying for the fun, and escorting her home again) is not essential, no. There are lots of ways to get to know someone better that do not include this scenario. If you do decide to "date", one or two dates should let you know whether this person is a potential mate, and you should clearly state your intentions to continue researching that potential through dating. If you are not interested, then continuing in the method above is likely to cause hurtful and unfruitful misunderstandings. Be clear and intentional. Be courageous.
See my post in your other thread for more info.
shallbe
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 1:43:52 PM
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makarizo
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If every person you date is being evaluated as "a potential", I don't think it is very healthy at all.... and wth every person you date, you will have something more to compare the next one to.\
"i love her,but she can't cook as well as #73 could, she doesn't kiss as well as #42, and doesn't have blue eyes like #63"
life was never intended to be so complicated.
if you were only looking for female responses...... sorry
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 1:47:32 PM
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humbleinspirit
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No, if I was only looking for female responses then I would have posted this thread in she says. 
I agree that we shouldn't serial date, but just wondering, can 2 friends have a date and still just be good friends? Just wondering.
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 10:40:04 PM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? I have had very few dates in my life. I do not know if I will ever get married, even though I think that I could be a good husband if I ever do. I read all about it in a book, just kidding! But seriously, how important is dating and being social in general?
I think it's important not to isolate yourself from people and social activities whether you want to be married or not, but most especially if you have a desire to be married. While dating is important, I believe that for me, I'd rather be home alone every weeekend than date for the sake of dating. It's important to date people that you're interested in and see potential. I don't like to see people as being practiced on.
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 10:43:48 PM
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humbleinspirit
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? I have had very few dates in my life. I do not know if I will ever get married, even though I think that I could be a good husband if I ever do. I read all about it in a book, just kidding! But seriously, how important is dating and being social in general?
I think it's important not to isolate yourself from people and social activities whether you want to be married or not, but most especially if you have a desire to be married. While dating is important, I believe that for me, I'd rather be home alone every weeekend than date for the sake of dating. It's important to date people that you're interested in and see potential. I don't like to see people as being practiced on.
Me too honestly, however I just wonder if that was healthy or not. And on the later, I don't want to "practice" either.
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 10:50:07 PM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? I have had very few dates in my life. I do not know if I will ever get married, even though I think that I could be a good husband if I ever do. I read all about it in a book, just kidding! But seriously, how important is dating and being social in general?
I think it's important not to isolate yourself from people and social activities whether you want to be married or not, but most especially if you have a desire to be married. While dating is important, I believe that for me, I'd rather be home alone every weeekend than date for the sake of dating. It's important to date people that you're interested in and see potential. I don't like to see people as being practiced on.
Me too honestly, however I just wonder if that was healthy or not. And on the later, I don't want to "practice" either.
Why would it be unhealthy? I mean, by deciding not to date just anyone out there, you're avoiding hurting people, you're avoiding emotional entanglement with someone you have no desire to pursue, you're not wasting your resources (time and money), you're spending your time doing other things that you would rather do. If you want company, then make friends and do things with them. For me, the word "dating" has a romantic implication. If the intention is not there to get to know the other person from a romantic standpoint, then, it shouldn't be called dating. It's called friendship. And it's very healthy to have those types of relationships, whether it's with the same sex or opposite sex.
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 10:52:47 PM
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humbleinspirit
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Ok, PH, I hear you, so it would be ok to have either a just for fun or a non-date date instead? It gets lonely eating out alone and seeing movies that way too.
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 10:57:41 PM
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humbleinspirit
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
Ok, PH, I hear you, so it would be ok to have either a just for fun or a non-date date instead? It gets lonely eating out alone and seeing movies that way too.
I'm saying, don't call it a date if it's not a date. If you're going out as friends, then calling it getting together with friends. If a male friend calls one of our get together a date, I'd run for the hills, lol. 
Ok PH, its a date, just kidding!
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 11:01:56 PM
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humbleinspirit
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ROFL! 
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 11:07:12 PM
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humbleinspirit
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Okey dokie, have a great night now PH!
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/15/2008 11:21:12 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: makarizo
If every person you date is being evaluated as "a potential", I don't think it is very healthy at all.... and wth every person you date, you will have something more to compare the next one to.\
"i love her,but she can't cook as well as #73 could, she doesn't kiss as well as #42, and doesn't have blue eyes like #63"
life was never intended to be so complicated.
I think there's a semantic issue here.
A "Date" as usually discussed here (and normally understood throughout these United States) is the meeting of two people to determine if they are a fit for each other. It is part of the process of weeding out potentials to arrive at one you can marry and have a good life with.
As such, every "date" involves an evaluation.
Now if you're just talking about taking a opposite sex friend out for some non-potential type thing, that is not a date.
The problem arises when one thinks it's a date and the other thinks it's not. Huge heartbreak ahead.
Open and honest communication is key.
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/16/2008 12:19:33 AM
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Ninjaearth
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Honestly, I've gone without really dating. Even in my last relationship, my ex saw us as "dating" but I saw us more as bf/gf. Even in the past, I haven't really "dated" anyone prior to being in a relationship. To be honest, I haven't had a real "date", however you define it. Plus, there are no biblical references to dating whatsoever so it's an issue that is freely open for discussion and will vary for each person. For me, it's a matter of friendship mostly before I jump into a committed relationship and the process of having a girlfriend (for me) is pretty much considered the dating phase. However, I am currently re-examining many issues (thanks to today's wedding; two friends of mine tied the knot) including this whole approach on the dating thing. But hey, for now, that's my two cents.
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/16/2008 12:53:11 AM
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makarizo
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: makarizo
If every person you date is being evaluated as "a potential", I don't think it is very healthy at all.... and wth every person you date, you will have something more to compare the next one to.\
"i love her,but she can't cook as well as #73 could, she doesn't kiss as well as #42, and doesn't have blue eyes like #63"
life was never intended to be so complicated.
I think there's a semantic issue here.
A "Date" as usually discussed here (and normally understood throughout these United States) is the meeting of two people to determine if they are a fit for each other. It is part of the process of weeding out potentials to arrive at one you can marry and have a good life with.
As such, every "date" involves an evaluation.
Now if you're just talking about taking a opposite sex friend out for some non-potential type thing, that is not a date.
The problem arises when one thinks it's a date and the other thinks it's not. Huge heartbreak ahead.
Open and honest communication is key.
yes, sensitive eyes here on CW see the word date and fill in blanks, draw conclusions, elicit meanings that might not be intended.
if there is one thing that is "throughout the united states" it wouldn't be an agreement of a word meaning, it would be more like a consistancy of a lack or variation of such.
understanding the inconsistency is the key to good listening skills & good communication.
after all......
when I tell you I love you, I don't want you to misunderstand me!!!!!
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RE: How Important is Dating For Single Men and Women? - 11/16/2008 3:17:32 AM
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ebony101
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Dating (2 people - male & female - going out to social activities together) I think is a good activity, that you can use as a means to get to know another person for the purpose of having a long term relationship with him/her. It is essential insofar as it acts as a means to become familiar with another's attitudes, thoughts, feelings, behaviours in different situations and allows you to observe their interactions with others. Simultaneously, it allows the other individual to get to know you.
Dating usually goes on over an extended period of time and this is a good thing, because we can "pretend" to be someone whom we are not, but that will only last for one or two dates. Eventually the real you will come out.
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By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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