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[Poll]
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How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body?
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| 1-2 Times A Week |
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| Once A Month |
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| Never, But A Pew Sitter |
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| I'm Not A Member of Any Church |
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Total Votes : 32
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(last vote on : 8/14/2008 4:35:10 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/20/2008 10:41:44 AM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1477
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
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You know, one of the posts that I stumbled onto lately said something about single christians being involved in ministry being one of the excuses of not coping with singleness and that one of the excuses of not finding a man or a woman. I disagree with this whole heartily because I believe first, singles should be involved in the life of the church, whether it is youth ministries, women's ministry, or other ministries which benifit the body. One example of this is that there is a brother who is involved in our children's ministry. He's not married, has no kids, but he pours his life into these young men each and every Sunday.
There are others like pastors who are singles, single christians who are involved in the music business writing songs for the church and those who has wisdom who is used by God to encourage the single christian.
So I ask this~ Are you in a local church, are you currently serving there and if you are serving, do you do it out of "You have to do it," or do you do it because of your love and obedience to the Lord?
And if you are not serving, do you think those who are serving get criticized by other single christians because they are not coping with their singleness and should be finding a man or a woman?
_____________________________
In Loving memory...
Christopher "Topher" Laurie
Called home to glory on July 24, 2008
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/20/2008 1:58:08 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6218
Joined: 5/2/2005
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Great question! I have always been involved in church to one degree or another. A few years ago, I joined my current church because it has more to offer, but I had no idea how much more it would offer! I've enjoyed being able to serve God through the church and do not do it out of obligation but rather out of love for the Lord.
I agree that it's important for us as singles to be involved in something bigger than ourselves. Church definitely offers plenty of opportunities to be involved AND work for Him. It's not easy to get into our little pitty parties when there's work to do, is there?
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<<--- Missing him terribly!
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/20/2008 2:37:49 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12712
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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Sometimes life doesn't allow us the time to serve at church. Sometimes we are taking care of elderly parents and terminal siblings. Sometimes we are having to take care of children. Sometimes we have to work two jobs just to keep a roof over our head. Sometimes we are lucky just to be able to attend one service a week or even a month. The Lord understands this, and honors us when we are able to attend. At the right time, He will provide a way for us to serve. Serving in the local church has no bearing on our status as Singles or on our relationship with God.
Personally, there are times where I feel closer to God when I'm NOT out trying to do things for Him all the time and take the time to focus on my relationship with Him. If I'm not full of Him, then my serving (if/when I do it) is empty and doesn't accomplish anything for Him.
And, who says that we only have to serve in the church? We can serve ANY PLACE GOD PUTS US. I want to make a difference in the WORLD, not in the body.
I don't understand where the criticizing comment is coming from - it seems more tied into the "coping" thread - which is not the intent of this thread.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/20/2008 3:35:39 PM
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.Pammy
Posts: 4086
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Mechanicsburg, PA, USA
Status: offline
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quote:
single christians being involved in ministry being one of the excuses of not coping with singleness and that one of the excuses of not finding a man or a woman.
I dug this out of the OP, and I think this is the real question in the OP. I've never heard of someone serving (whether in the church or elsewhere) being used as an excuse for not pursuing a relationship. I imagine, though, that someone could claim that. If so, that would be a very particular situation, and that person would have a definite avoidance problem. Nothing to do with serving, as far as I'm concerned.
I'm finding it hard to answer the poll. I'm at church on Sundays from 8:30 until 1:30. I run the computer (videos, powerpoint, etc.) and the reason I'm there early is to get things together for worship rehearsal, all videos for the service, rehearsal is at 9:00, compass class is at 10:00 (which sometimes I can't attend because pastor gives me things at the last minute), service is at 11:00, service is out around 12:20, I'm assistant treasurer, three of us tabulate, prepare the deposit,etc.
That's it for being at the actual church. Home group is Wednesdays. I'm facilitating the current series we're doing.
So how do I answer the poll? I guess I'll go for the first one.
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Pam
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/20/2008 3:55:38 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 936
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: .Pammy
quote:
single christians being involved in ministry being one of the excuses of not coping with singleness and that one of the excuses of not finding a man or a woman.
I dug this out of the OP, and I think this is the real question in the OP. I've never heard of someone serving (whether in the church or elsewhere) being used as an excuse for not pursuing a relationship. I imagine, though, that someone could claim that. If so, that would be a very particular situation, and that person would have a definite avoidance problem. Nothing to do with serving, as far as I'm concerned.
I'm finding it hard to answer the poll. I'm at church on Sundays from 8:30 until 1:30. I run the computer (videos, powerpoint, etc.) and the reason I'm there early is to get things together for worship rehearsal, all videos for the service, rehearsal is at 9:00, compass class is at 10:00 (which sometimes I can't attend because pastor gives me things at the last minute), service is at 11:00, service is out around 12:20, I'm assistant treasurer, three of us tabulate, prepare the deposit,etc.
That's it for being at the actual church. Home group is Wednesdays. I'm facilitating the current series we're doing.
So how do I answer the poll? I guess I'll go for the first one.
quote:
for being at the actual church. Home group is Wednesdays. I'm facilitating the current series we're doing.
Pammy, just want to say that your mother was extremely beautiful.
_____________________________
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My lovely daughter and me
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/20/2008 4:18:05 PM
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.Pammy
Posts: 4086
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Mechanicsburg, PA, USA
Status: offline
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quote:
Pammy, just want to say that your mother was extremely beautiful.
Thanks. You know, I can hardly get over it myself. She was amazingly gorgeous, as well as being an amazing woman.
Sorry to derail your thread, Gayle.
_____________________________
Pam
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/20/2008 4:30:37 PM
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KuKu
Posts: 569
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: Somewhere out there
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
So I ask this~ Are you in a local church, are you currently serving there and if you are serving, do you do it out of "You have to do it," or do you do it because of your love and obedience to the Lord?
And if you are not serving, do you think those who are serving get criticized by other single christians because they are not coping with their singleness and should be finding a man or a woman? [/font]
I serve because I want to, whenever I can. I have done multiple things, as I am available.
I have never, however, been criticized for serving by any other single for anything of that nature. Of course, part of my 'coping' in no way involves actively searching for a man, and those who think I need to really need to listen to what God is saying to THEM, not interpreting for ME...
I am really confused as to how service and coping are exclusive. Service is a joy, and an opportunity, but I'm not sure how it takes the place of a significant other, or wanting one... ie. If I am singing in the choir, what's wrong with wanting to sing in the choir along with my SO???
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We are mortal until God is done with us C.S.S. 
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/20/2008 5:03:36 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3913
Joined: 3/30/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
So I ask this~ Are you in a local church, are you currently serving there and if you are serving, do you do it out of "You have to do it," or do you do it because of your love and obedience to the Lord?
Serving is a natural manifestation of my love for God. He gave me gifts that he wants me to develop in honor of Him and in service to others--both believers and nonbelievers. I serve both in and outside the church in various capacities. For example, "witnessing" through my actions and words at work is a form of service.
God wants us to fellowship and to serve, so we should do it and with glad hearts. Many personal factors can shape the way that our serving materializes, but we should still serve--be it with or for our parents, family members, strangers, whomever.
quote:
And if you are not serving, do you think those who are serving get criticized by other single christians because they are not coping with their singleness and should be finding a man or a woman? [/font]
I don't understand the mindset that assumes that serving functions as a mask or avoidance strategy for internal conflicts of varying types, including loneliness. And I agree with Kuku that if people criticize unattached singles who serve, then the problem rests with the people criticizing, not with the person serving (assuming that the person serves with a humble heart).
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"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/20/2008 5:54:37 PM
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Blazingson
Posts: 91
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
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I serve in my church because I enjoy it.
I see no reason why it should interfere with or prevent seeking out a SO.
If someone claims it does, is probably using it as an excuse to cover insecurities or fear of rejection and their ministry or involvement in church becomes a substitute for genuine relationships. That way no one gets below the surface to know the real "you" and you are safe from potential pain and rejection.
_____________________________
*Eric G.*
Matthew 5:16
Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/20/2008 7:14:40 PM
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9drtr
Posts: 1583
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Toronto the Good
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
You know, one of the posts that I stumbled onto lately said something about single christians being involved in ministry being one of the excuses of not coping with singleness and that one of the excuses of not finding a man or a woman.
If we're thinking of the same post, the point of it was that some denominations and some congregations exclude singles from certain ministries.
If we're thinking of different posts, it would be helpful if you would quote it directly.
_____________________________
Edwin
When we know who is coming, how can we worry about what is coming? When the last hour belongs to us, how can we worry about the next minute?
Ross Crighton
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/20/2008 7:53:35 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 936
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
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I think the moment I wake up in the morning, I'm in ministry. Isn't that what the Christian life is all about? I've never believed that the only ministry is the organized one within the confines of a church organization. There are so many people, situations, events that we go through the day that God can use us to show His love for them. If anything, I often found organized ministry not my cup of tea.
And also often times, ministry is just another name for social group and there's so much exclusivity involved.
I think the OP was referring to one of my post in a thread called "why I'm still single". I'm not going to defend my position, because obviously, it wasn't taken in context.
< Message edited by Prairiehiker -- 7/20/2008 8:08:48 PM >
_____________________________
___________________________________
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My lovely daughter and me
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/20/2008 9:04:29 PM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1477
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 9drtr
quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
You know, one of the posts that I stumbled onto lately said something about single christians being involved in ministry being one of the excuses of not coping with singleness and that one of the excuses of not finding a man or a woman.
If we're thinking of the same post, the point of it was that some denominations and some congregations exclude singles from certain ministries.
If we're thinking of different posts, it would be helpful if you would quote it directly.
Edwin, I don't know if it true in your country, but as some denominations do excude singles from ministries, there are those who welcome singles to do ministries. There are singles who are pastors also, some who are well-known pastors like Andrae Crouch and Bishop Noel Jones.
My denomination does welcome singles also to do ministry and also they have single parent ministries to help encourage single parents not only to be better single parents, but to be also involved in the life of the church.
_____________________________
In Loving memory...
Christopher "Topher" Laurie
Called home to glory on July 24, 2008
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/20/2008 9:14:05 PM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1477
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
Great question! I have always been involved in church to one degree or another. A few years ago, I joined my current church because it has more to offer, but I had no idea how much more it would offer! I've enjoyed being able to serve God through the church and do not do it out of obligation but rather out of love for the Lord.
I agree that it's important for us as singles to be involved in something bigger than ourselves. Church definitely offers plenty of opportunities to be involved AND work for Him. It's not easy to get into our little pitty parties when there's work to do, is there?
I agree too. I do also agree with some that also ministry begins also out of the four walls of the church and many churches do have outreaches out of the church body. In summers, I do get involved in this ministry--see the avitar on the side as a decision outreach counselor, that is when the people come forward, they come to us and we have to tell them what is essential for a new christian.
_____________________________
In Loving memory...
Christopher "Topher" Laurie
Called home to glory on July 24, 2008
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/20/2008 10:03:17 PM
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thedivabrat
Posts: 297
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: North and South
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
So I ask this~ Are you in a local church, are you currently serving there and if you are serving, do you do it out of "You have to do it," or do you do it because of your love and obedience to the Lord?
And if you are not serving, do you think those who are serving get criticized by other single christians because they are not coping with their singleness and should be finding a man or a woman? [/font]
When I first became active in my church it was because I was asked to serve so I did. Over time I have come to know the Lord more and to love Him more deeply and wholly and to desire to be obedient. I have also found I am more content and have greater joy when I am used by Him in service .
I never heard of anyone being criticized by others, single or married, for not coping with being single or looking for a spouse. I am not sure I understand the second question.
_____________________________
This is the day the Lord has made; let us be glad and rejoice in it. Ps 118:24
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/21/2008 9:25:16 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 2859
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: online
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no option for 3 times a week? :(
quote:
I believe first, singles should be involved in the life of the church, whether it is youth ministries, women's ministry, or other ministries which benifit the body.
agreed ... we should endeavor to be an active part of the body whether single or married [well i do think it can be healthy to take a year off from ministry after marriage but that is an exception]
quote:
So I ask this~ Are you in a local church, are you currently serving there and if you are serving, do you do it out of "You have to do it," or do you do it because of your love and obedience to the Lord?
i do it out of desire. i don't think anyone would criticize me for not being involved, especially this past year.
quote:
And if you are not serving, do you think those who are serving get criticized by other single christians because they are not coping with their singleness and should be finding a man or a woman?
i'm never been criticized by a non-server due to my status altho i haven't really been single that long ...
_____________________________
[Low-Carb] Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheesecake
Photoblogging my life
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/21/2008 10:49:06 AM
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offtheisland
Posts: 479
Joined: 7/17/2008
From: Central Florida
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My son made a very bitter remark to me last year that made me assess how much I was at church. I have always been involved in the church since accepting the Christ as my Lord and Savior. My x was always jealous of my involvement and the kids saw it and responded in negative ways. There has to be a balance in how much you are serving in ministry. I am involved in the music department and that is all. Fifteen years ago, I was involved in the women's ministry, girls club, and a facilitator of the weekly women's bible study. We were never home, the kids were involved with their extra curriculars, as well. Today, with three out of the house and one left in the nest, I am still trying to balance a healthy family life and serve in my ministry. I have made my church, my community, my family, my support, my home outside of my home. Yes, people say we should just get a cot and sleep somewhere on campus. Being a single parent for three years now and still wanting to do more in ministry, but want to make sure the one left in the nest does not get neglected like the older three.
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My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul.
Psalm 108:1
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/21/2008 1:19:41 PM
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trainfan
Posts: 2737
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: neither here nor there
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I had to vote never but a pew sitter.
A number of years ago I was heavily involved in a church doing a number of ministries. I no longer attend that church and haven't been attending the one I am at now very long. My work schedule prevents me from being involved in anything during the week when most activties I would be interested in participating in meet.
When I was involved I was never doing it out of "you have to do it". I also never felt criticized by other singles (although there weren't many in that church) for serving. As a guy the only time I have ever felt even remotely criticized was in this thread.
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Buy local, support local retailers.
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/21/2008 6:24:59 PM
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deanna48
Posts: 13
Joined: 7/5/2008
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I was very active in my previous church. In November I left the church I had attended for 22 years. It is a very large church in my town. I was alway involved somewhere. After much prayer, I knew the Lord was telling me to move on and He told me where to go. At the present moment the Lord has me in the pew of this small church. I am being renewed in my spirit - which is really needed. If asked I will help where ever needed. But as for now to be purposely and actively involved - not right now.
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/21/2008 6:26:55 PM
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9drtr
Posts: 1583
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Toronto the Good
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
Edwin, I don't know if it true in your country,
Good grief! Do you think we still practice human sacrifice up here? I live in Toronto, not Timbuktu. (And they don't practice human sacrifice there either.)
I thought you were misinterpreting the post upon which your OP was based. I still think you are, but there's no sense arguing it.
_____________________________
Edwin
When we know who is coming, how can we worry about what is coming? When the last hour belongs to us, how can we worry about the next minute?
Ross Crighton
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/21/2008 8:53:25 PM
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ladioffaith
Posts: 2801
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: NE Ohio (L.A. . . Lower Akron)
Status: offline
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My church is a good 15-18 miles away. With gas prices as they are ... I cannot see myself being there more than once a week like I used to.
The only thing close to criticism I've gotten are when a friend of mine rails against the church and seems to be upset when I tune it out. He's got issues with my pastor, and seems to resent it that I still go there. Frankly, God has not led me anywhere else.
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The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with
his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/21/2008 10:03:52 PM
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shepherdkl
Posts: 2
Joined: 7/21/2008
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Hello everyone, I have not posted here before, but this thread intersted me. I work in the A/V area of the church in charge of the video's and Powerpoint presentation portion of the service. I also arrive at around 8 a.m. in order to get everything ready for service, and band practice at 9 a.m. with service at 10 a.m. and I leave the church shortly after the service is over at 11 a.m. I have in the past also lead classes on Financial Peace. Early on in my church going, I helped set up and tear down before and after service.
I serve because I want too, although there are times when, for what ever reason I feel commited to doing what I do. I know full well that there are others who can do what I do, and that I do not have to be there every week, however due to my own hangups I feel obligated at times to be there and to do what I do. However the feeling passes quickly and I get back to enjoying my time and church.
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/21/2008 10:47:12 PM
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rgod
Posts: 648
Joined: 4/25/2005
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I selected the wrong option. I indicated that I wasn't part of any church, but that isn't really entirely true. I go to a fellowship once a week (not on a Sunday) and feel in my heart that it is a church. There are no real ministry roles, with the exception of pastoring and teaching, which is filled for the most part by the leader and his wife - although others also teach. It is unusual in that a number of people who come are pastors or people who are in formal ministry - only a few of us aren't in formal ministry (I used to be though). Basically, whenever we get together, I feel led to do something - whether it is bringing food, helping to set up or tear down, or pray. But my main giftings (teaching, preaching) are not really used there. I was a bit bummed about it, but I have been in situations where God has closed the door before - and I know when the door is open. I was feeling really bad about it also because I used to serve a lot. Only some of what I did at the time was directed by the Lord. I think a lot of things I did because I was just interested in doing or because of guilt (my pastor used to really stress working - more than waiting on God to show you were to work). So it was just flesh.
For the past year or two, I've been just doing "light" duty - being available to do whatever, whenever God led me, in the church or outside of it.
Then, quite suddenly, God opened the door for a different kind of ministry for me through the arts (which I knew that he was going to have me serve in). I work in a ministry now - using my gifts and talents - and didn't plan on doing it really. I interviewed/auditioned - but it wasn't something that I planned to do for months or anything like that. Basically, God put me in it.
I think that, like with anything else, there is a way to serve that is actually being disobedient to what the Lord would have you do. I think I did a bit of that in the past. Or there is a way of serving so that you don't have to deal with some things that - if dealt with - perhaps would pave the way for another person to enter your life. If it weren't church for some, it would be something else. But that isn't everyone.
I think if one single person criticizes another's work in the church - unless it is a situation that is done out love (you notice the person is compulsively and joylessly serving and you are concerned about them) - that the person is probably out of line. Different people approach being single differently.
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RE: How Often Are You Involved In Your Local Church Body? - 7/21/2008 10:48:16 PM
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Above_All
Posts: 12014
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: man's rib
Status: online
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