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Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/12/2008 4:43:28 PM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1413
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
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For those of us who are nearing 50 or at 50 or their late 40's here is the deal...
*You should have been married and had children by the age of 45 and have a family
Now, because of cirmustances like widowhood or not being able to find someone because of your faith, we older singles should have had those children by 50 years old, yet we try and try to find the right person, even with those online dating services, no one is interested in us. Even in the church as well, no one is interested because of our age. We might as well have a sign in front of our body saying that--
No one interested in me because I'm nearing 50 and a female.
But here's what I'm asking--Is being older and desiring to be married and enjoying the perks is too late for us older ones even though we are active and take care of ourselves?
_____________________________
Remembering Topher...
Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/12/2008 4:48:01 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 13101
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From: west coast of FL
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Oh, good Lord, NO!!!!!!! I can't wait to turn 50! I've loved each decade I've been in for a variety of reasons, and I just know that with all that God has done in my life up to this point, He's only going to do that much more in the coming one! Bring it on!!! I truly believe that I will be more vital in my 50's than I can ever imagine or dream. And while I've never been married, and am seriously doubting that I ever will be married, I fully embrace turning 50. Death sentence? You've GOT to be kidding! For me, it's the start of my life! 
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/12/2008 5:01:29 PM
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thedivabrat
Posts: 437
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: North and South
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I am 60 and never been married and have a good life. 50 was a turning point for me and I feel better about myself and life in general then I ever did. Being older is very freeing.
Remember the past-live in the present-look to the future and don't confuse the three.
_____________________________
This is the day the Lord has made; let us be glad and rejoice in it. Ps 118:24
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/12/2008 5:05:10 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2008
Joined: 11/8/2007
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^^ What Lisa (mutinywxgirl) said.
But I'll also ask this: what's the alternative?
I guess we could decide to be sad all the time because there is one aspect of our life that is not pleasing to us. We could complain about it and whine about it...and that would DEFINITELY cause any potential mates to run screaming in the other direction.
Or, we could decide that life was not worth living if we can't have it our way and shoot ourselves. And then we would have no opportunity for anything at all, much less the chance to marry. On top of that, for me, having to face Jesus and say "I think You, Sir, had the timing all wrong as far as my life is concerned, so I just took over long enough to end it all" is quite a deterrent.
I'm not quite fifty, but I don't think it's beyond God to bring me a mate now or in 2 years or in 10 years. He's a big God!
besiderself
besiderself
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/12/2008 8:11:42 PM
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Prairiehiker
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I'm not 50 yet; just turning 40. I have to admit, at times when I'm contemplating the possibility of turning 50 and still single, it does feel like the a death sentence. There are lonely times and those are the toughest part of it. I think as we age, we learn to find ways to cope, and in this coping, we adapt and we realise that we're not coping anymore. Our strategies in navigating this singleness journey becomes our ways of life. And we live a richer, fuller life this way.
At least that's what I'm experiencing as I transition to turning 40. I'm trying new things, forming friendships, letting go of a lot of negative beliefs, not caring too much about other people's expectations, caring more about the people that matters. I'm genuinely laughing more, and caring deeply for people. I guess, that's how I intend to "cope" with singleness, and it's not a bad thing. There will be lonely times, and there will be times when I'll feel exhilarated with new experiences. I ride it all the way to the top or to the bottom. I know that Jesus is with me all the way, and if I crash, I know I'll land in His presence all the more. (You can tell, I'm learning to do a bit of downhill mountain biking, lol!)
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Money in the bank may be nice, but it will never beat sunrise from a sleeping bag in the mountains. " - climbhard511
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/12/2008 8:19:12 PM
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katch224
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Turning 50 isn't so bad! I guess I have given up on having kids of my own, but I haven't given up on marriage. The purpose of marriage is companionship. And maybe he has kids! Or even better, grandkids!
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/12/2008 8:29:15 PM
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broyce1981
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Thanks for sharing that example of your MIL, Nadine! It's encouraging to hear stories like that. Even at my age I wonder if it's getting kind of late for me, but that was a nice reminder that age is not a limitation at all.
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/12/2008 8:31:50 PM
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humbleinspirit
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They say that 50 is the new 30.
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/12/2008 11:23:54 PM
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humbleinspirit
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Now how about being 18 again as well? (well not me, I wouldn't want to be 18 again!)
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/12/2008 11:49:20 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
Now how about being 18 again as well? (well not me, I wouldn't want to be 18 again!)
Bite your tongue!
I would NEVER, no NEVER agree to be 18 again.
besiderself
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 12:01:24 AM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1413
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Many of you are right--turning 50 is the beginning of living life. And to me is it not a "death sentence" like many people would like you to believe. Sure, there are people our age who want the "younger model," but the "younger model" sometimes ain't that cracked up to be, lol..
When people reach that age, they want to have that Eeore type faith, which is "Woah Is Me" instead of trying to live life to the fullest.
I think most of us turning 50 know we have a lot to offer, including teaching the young'ens how to be steadfast in their faith and being a christ like example.
_____________________________
Remembering Topher...
Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 12:03:30 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16705
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I am much more looking forward to my 50's than I used to be. It just doesn't seem all that old to me anymore. I still remember when I was a preteen thinking that 30 was old, lol! 
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 1:09:58 AM
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BugLady
Posts: 2718
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quote:
Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence?
With a death sentence you get an automatic appeal and court appointed attorney, if you can't afford one. It's all a matter of perspective, I suppose.
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• Human trafficking is the 3rd largest source of income for organized crime, generating $7 billion a year.
International Justice Mission
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 8:02:51 AM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
quote:
Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence?
With a death sentence you get an automatic appeal and court appointed attorney, if you can't afford one. It's all a matter of perspective, I suppose.
There is no appropriate emoticon for the reaction I had to this statement!
I love it, Buglady.
besiderself
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 10:37:20 AM
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utilityfielder
Posts: 13119
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Home of the Champions
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As a person who has seen 50 in my rearview mirror, I agree with all those who have said that they are enjoying their lives and are looking forward to the days that come.
I live a full and busy life and I have really thankful for where I am at. I do have to adjust to the fact that my body is not as young as it used to be. But my mental attitude is good and that is what counts.
I do not know what God has in store for me, but I am ready to go.
_____________________________
Avatar courtesy of BeckeyZ
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 12:59:48 PM
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thedivabrat
Posts: 437
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: North and South
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
I'm not 50 yet; just turning 40. I have to admit, at times when I'm contemplating the possibility of turning 50 and still single, it does feel like the a death sentence. There are lonely times and those are the toughest part of it. I think as we age, we learn to find ways to cope, and in this coping, we adapt and we realise that we're not coping anymore. Our strategies in navigating this singleness journey becomes our ways of life. And we live a richer, fuller life this way.
At least that's what I'm experiencing as I transition to turning 40. I'm trying new things, forming friendships, letting go of a lot of negative beliefs, not caring too much about other people's expectations, caring more about the people that matters. I'm genuinely laughing more, and caring deeply for people. I guess, that's how I intend to "cope" with singleness, and it's not a bad thing. There will be lonely times, and there will be times when I'll feel exhilarated with new experiences. I ride it all the way to the top or to the bottom. I know that Jesus is with me all the way, and if I crash, I know I'll land in His presence all the more. (You can tell, I'm learning to do a bit of downhill mountain biking, lol!)
I am not sure I understand "coping" with singleness. Being single is not a disease or disability! And I am pretty sure married people are sometimes or even often lonely.
_____________________________
This is the day the Lord has made; let us be glad and rejoice in it. Ps 118:24
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 1:05:31 PM
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thedivabrat
Posts: 437
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: North and South
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: utilityfielder
As a person who has seen 50 in my rearview mirror, I agree with all those who have said that they are enjoying their lives and are looking forward to the days that come.
I live a full and busy life and I have really thankful for where I am at. I do have to adjust to the fact that my body is not as young as it used to be. But my mental attitude is good and that is what counts.
I do not know what God has in store for me, but I am ready to go.
Amen to that. I can still do what I did before I started seeing 50 "in the rear view mirror". It just takes me longer to recover now!
_____________________________
This is the day the Lord has made; let us be glad and rejoice in it. Ps 118:24
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 1:37:39 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2008
Joined: 11/8/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: thedivabrat
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
I'm not 50 yet; just turning 40. I have to admit, at times when I'm contemplating the possibility of turning 50 and still single, it does feel like the a death sentence. There are lonely times and those are the toughest part of it. I think as we age, we learn to find ways to cope, and in this coping, we adapt and we realise that we're not coping anymore. Our strategies in navigating this singleness journey becomes our ways of life. And we live a richer, fuller life this way.
At least that's what I'm experiencing as I transition to turning 40. I'm trying new things, forming friendships, letting go of a lot of negative beliefs, not caring too much about other people's expectations, caring more about the people that matters. I'm genuinely laughing more, and caring deeply for people. I guess, that's how I intend to "cope" with singleness, and it's not a bad thing. There will be lonely times, and there will be times when I'll feel exhilarated with new experiences. I ride it all the way to the top or to the bottom. I know that Jesus is with me all the way, and if I crash, I know I'll land in His presence all the more. (You can tell, I'm learning to do a bit of downhill mountain biking, lol!)
I am not sure I understand "coping" with singleness. Being single is not a disease or disability! And I am pretty sure married people are sometimes or even often lonely.
Oh, I don't know, Diva...
somedays I'm pretty sick of singleness! 
But that doesn't mean I'm "unmarketable" nor dead...I'm living! Just because I wish one part of my life were different some days, doesn't mean I don't enjoy the rest!
besiderself
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