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Pastor or Christian Jokes - 4/23/2008 10:55:31 PM
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uniteforlife
Posts: 47
Joined: 4/18/2008
Status: offline
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So this pastor goes to visit an old lady from his congregation. As he's sitting in her kitchen, she excuses herself to go freshen up.
Shes gone for a bit and the pastor starts to eat some peanuts out of the bowl on her kitchen table. When the old woman comes back into the kitchen to visit she says; "Im sorry, I hope I didnt keep you too long, can I get you something to eat?"
The pastor says: "Oh no thank you, but I do have a confession to make; while you were gone, I did indulge in some of your peanuts here."
The old woman replies; "Oh, thats no problem pastor, I just suck the chocolate off them and put them back anyway."
_____________________________
He proclaimed it in John 15:4, "The branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine." No atheist has ever been or will be a great composer. -- Johannes Brahms
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RE: Pastor or Christian Jokes - 5/17/2008 11:49:53 AM
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JonCo54
Posts: 186
Joined: 5/12/2008
Status: offline
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The Pastors Children
A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding salary.
A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as he gives us.
Silence fell on the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice,
"Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."
The entire congregation said, "Amen."
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