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Suspicious Of Wife - 4/17/2008 7:44:34 PM
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puritan777
Posts: 1
Joined: 4/8/2008
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I've been unequally yoked for 8yrs I married a non-believer when I was going through a rebellious time in my life with God as I wasn't being patient enough after 15yrs of being a Christian for God to provide a godly wife for me. I took matters into my own hands and have been reaping what I've sown ever since I married her, very bad situations. 8 months ago I finally got my act together with my relationship with Christ due to another brother helping me to see that if my relationship with Christ isn't right then my life will not be right with my wife. Well ever since then I have been really trusting God with my situation with my wife, praying to help give me strength in the ways that she badly treats me and to be the example of what Christ would have me be to her as a loving husband so that she my see the change in my life and truly see Christ. However after these past 8 months she has been growing more distant from me, like I'm just some kind of room mate that just lives there with no communication, I try just to bring up a normal conversation with her and she seems to make it into an argument by reflecting on our past problems, harboring bitterness and unforgiveness in her heart even though I've forgave her from the past and letting her know that my life was going to change for the better as I was going to get my life right with God. Of course she does not understand what that all means and I don't blame her for harboring all the bitterness because she is not a believer. So here comes the suspicious part after all these months. The past 4 months or so she has really been rejecting any type of loving kindness I try to display out of my love for her as to trying to give her a kiss or a simple huge, she always pushes me away not wanting either one. Of course I feel rejected and sad but I continue to cling to God. Also we haven't had sex very much at all because the type of birth control she was using that is by injection had expired. When she had finally had got the injection again, after one week she was still being distant from me and not allowing me to have sex with her. After that week she had went out of state to visit her family for a week and I was to meet her where she was going to be at around the last day of the week she was to be there for her visit as I drive a big rig and was going to be passing by that area and wanted to see her before she headed back home. Well when I got to her family's place I was welcomed with her actions of why am I even there. Again rejecting an embrace or kiss from me and not really wanting to talk with me. The birth control only lasts three months before it is needed to take again, she took it a week before she went out of state to visit with family and deprives me of any type of sexual relationship with her. So three months go our situations have not changed, I still continue being ridiculed by her about whatever, but I have control of myself as I trust God to give me strength and peace in my heart no matter how bad she is treating me. But I start getting suspicious when shes taking birth control and then deprives me of having sex with her. So she has the birth control injection again two weeks ago and still will not let me have sex with her. A week after she took the birth control I was to be out on the road again driving but I was delayed until the fallowing week which she did not know until that week came and I told her I would be going in a couple of days and she though I was going to be gone that same day I told her when I was going to go. Then she said that her brother was coming from out of state with his friend to help one of her girlfriends friend to do work on their house and would be staying at our place for about a week and a half and that they would be at our house in about an hour. She was not expecting me to be there when they were coming and probably thought I wouldn't be back to the house until they would be gone. Well they showed up and I welcomed then into my home, I was there a few days with them and then went back out on the road to work. They wont be leaving my house until next week sometime. I've tried calling to speak with her since I've been gone and she wont answer the phone for hours. When I finally get a hold of her she has some hoike excuse as to why she never picks up the phone. Well these are reasons I'm being suspicious of her cheating on me. I don't know if Satan is trying to play with my head but it looks as though she could be cheating. I may never ever know if it is really happening or not but I do know God wants me to trust in Him through this regardless of what she may be doing but it can be really frustrating thinking that she could be doing this. God I know wants to strengthen me and mold me into the kind of person He wants me to be for Him regardless of any situation, that my whole being is to be for Him. Please pray for me as I continue to grow through this painful trial that God will continue to give me peace in this and that I my be able to endure it. May God hear your prayers.
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RE: Suspicious Of Wife - 4/17/2008 9:04:45 PM
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MrsOliver
Posts: 88
Joined: 3/19/2008
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I will be praying that God reveals to you what you need to know regarding your wife. God is just that GOOD OF A GOD AND FRIEND. HE will reveal to you those things that you do not know. Praise God that HE has prepared you and is continuing to strengthen you right where you are! He has a plan and purpose on your life, just keep your eyes on HIM!
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RE: Suspicious Of Wife - 4/17/2008 11:09:35 PM
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keepitreal
Posts: 55
Joined: 12/21/2007
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I'm sorry to say, I see big red flags here! Of course no one can tell you for sure that your wife is cheating, but if I were a gambler, I'd bet on it. I pray that God will show you how to best deal with this situation. I'm sorry you are going through this.
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RE: Suspicious Of Wife - 4/17/2008 11:13:35 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1399
Joined: 9/26/2007
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This has got to hurt so bad. May God save your wife and cause her to become a loving helpmate. God can do it.
I am thrilled that you have gotten closer to God and are trusting Him again. God bless you, brother. Nothing in life is wasted, and your life is a demonstration of spiritual warfare. Keep being faithful and see what God does. He answers prayer, and tonight I'm adding mine to yours. Hang in there!
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Suspicious Of Wife - 4/18/2008 1:12:34 AM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 816
Joined: 11/28/2005
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She's reacting to your faith walk with the Lord... You are standing firm with God and she has no idea what that is like and is reacting like a worldly person... it's a tactic used to cause friction in the marriage(Satan is influencing her as he does with anyone that's not saved. (Her worldly nature is reacting adversely to your faith in God.) I encourage you to stay the course and rely heavily on the Lord to strengthen you during this ordeal (spiritual battle). No matter what - God is with you and He will provide!
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RE: Suspicious Of Wife - 4/18/2008 8:06:01 AM
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YZGUY
Posts: 260
Joined: 3/9/2008
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It certainly seems like she is distancing herself from you - whether that means that there is another or she's lost that lovin feeling or both, or beither, I don't know. Perhaps she is bitter due to some action or series of actions from the past. How would she react to suggesting that you both go to counseling?
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RE: Suspicious Of Wife - 4/18/2008 4:28:42 PM
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csl7037
Posts: 849
Joined: 3/24/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jaimestarcross
She's reacting to your faith walk with the Lord... You are standing firm with God and she has no idea what that is like and is reacting like a worldly person... it's a tactic used to cause friction in the marriage(Satan is influencing her as he does with anyone that's not saved. (Her worldly nature is reacting adversely to your faith in God.) I encourage you to stay the course and rely heavily on the Lord to strengthen you during this ordeal (spiritual battle). No matter what - God is with you and He will provide!
I think this is obvious. When you think about it, to an unsaved person, a spouse getting saved (or returning to the Lord) is sufficient cause to be completely freaked out!
There could very well be something going on - in which case the prayer would be that she gets saved, is devastated over what's happened and works with you to rebuild things. In this case, if she senses any judgement or suspicion from you, she'll either run from you and from God or even if she did get saved, would probably be too consumed with guilt to go on anyway.
On the flip side, as a woman who still takes my own version of birth control du jour (I've tried it all) only because of the physical and emotional ramifications if I don't, and knowing how hard it can be to go off something like that, she may just be erratic with the injections for a lot of other reasons. Satan could just be using all of that to make you nuts and drive an even deeper wedge.
You need to pray for wisdom. There's a correct way and a very bad way to handle being married to an unbeliever. You can't do anything to feed her fears over this new change in you.
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RE: Suspicious Of Wife - 4/19/2008 11:04:54 PM
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imageoftheinvisible
Posts: 16
Joined: 4/19/2008
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I would encourage you to read Hosea. God called Hosea to marry an adulterous wife and yet in spite of her cheating Hosea would not allow his wife to run away....much like God never gives up on us in spite of our sinning and rejecting Him. You are wise to grow close to God and run to him when you feel weak. God is your refuge and strength.
Ephesians 5:25-29 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain, wrinkle, or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives, as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church."
You are not called out into a mission field. Your mission field is your home. Your message is rejected and you feel attacked; however, God is on your side.
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