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What if you "refuse" to let go? - 5/6/2008 1:44:47 PM
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christsgirl
Posts: 44
Joined: 12/28/2005
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I know the bible says "if the unbeliever leaves, let him go", but is it EVER the right thing to FIGHT for your marriage in such a way as to tell the spouse that left that you "refuse to allow them to give up on your marriage?" I mean, do you absolutely HAVE to go along with their desire for separation/divorce? Or is it just wise to do that? Has anyone been in a situation or seen someone who "refused" to let go of a spouse or allow the marriage to end? Could this ever result in a good thing or is something like this bound for disaster?
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RE: What if you "refuse" to let go? - 5/6/2008 3:18:25 PM
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YZGUY
Posts: 120
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline
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Well, you can't force another to participate in the marriage. So in that sense, letting go and moving on may be fine. However, fighting for the marriage & reconciliation, I think, are well worth it - at least to say that you tried everything and your conscience can be clear. How to fight might be a different question. So, I'd say, Yes, fight to the best of your ability for the marriage, but in the end, the spouse has a decision too. After a period of time, if the divorce papers were filed, they become official if you do not sign. If you remain single or wait after that, that is up to you & God.
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RE: What if you "refuse" to let go? - 5/7/2008 10:54:51 PM
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tfkeel
Posts: 103
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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If you are a believer, and your husband is "not pleased to dwell with you", being an unbeliever, then God is doing you a favor. Let your husband go. Help him pack.
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RE: What if you "refuse" to let go? - 5/8/2008 7:44:48 AM
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becomingwhole
Posts: 27
Joined: 7/18/2005
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Yes, you can still fight for your marriage !! When my dh left it was for another woman. The divorce went all the way through and I continued to fight. but by that I mean on my knees. I also was very verbal in telling my dh the door was always open, and being there when God lead me to be.
I say if you have children don't give up. I will tell you it is a hard road to walk, but worth it. My dh and I have been remarried for 2 and 1/2 years. Before we remarried we went through counseling, and the first year was still a little rough.
I tell anyone in life don't give up .... God is the God of miracles !!!
Becomingwhloe
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RE: What if you "refuse" to let go? - 5/8/2008 9:45:07 AM
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gocartone
Posts: 13
Joined: 4/19/2008
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I refuse to give up my fight to allow Satan to break the covenant we have in our marriage. I will be on my knees constantly praying for God to stand by His promises in healing and making right the wrongs Satan has allowed to happen. I think letting your spouse know you are in prayer for them and for the marriage can at times speak worlds of truth them that they may not hear from anyone else.
As long as you feel you still love him and feel this is what God is leading you to do, keep up the fight. I will be praying for you.
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RE: What if you "refuse" to let go? - 5/8/2008 10:15:42 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 9276
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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There is only so much holding on to a marriage that one can legally do. Also, I believe there comes a point where God may release a person to let go of the spouse. You can't force someone to come back or to be willing to work on things...it takes two people to do that, and you can only control your own behavior, attitudes, and reactions to the spouse.
That said, when my husband left me and our 15 month old son for another woman, all I wanted was for him to come home. I didn't give up on our marriage, though I did have to let him go because I couldn't stop him from leaving. We kept up communication solely because of our son, and he did eventually come back, still unsaved. I made a few requirements for him to come back, which he agreed to. Six months later, he was saved and over the past 6 years, we have been slowly going through God's restoration process. I am confident that He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it.
_____________________________
<----We love you, Mom!!!
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.
~Psalm 13:5-6~
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A spouse can seek divorce without their partner's consent. You wouldn't have any control over whether someone chooses to leave or not. Legally there is nothing you can do (as far as I know). I don't think it would be wrong to wait for them (not dating, not remarrying in hopes they'll come back to you). But you have to follow the Holy Spirit's leading on that. If you don't, it could definitely end in disaster.
