Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water rafting without you for the 1st time?
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 All Forums >> [Life] >> Parenting >> Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water rafting without you for the 1st time? | Page: [1] |
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[Poll]
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Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water rafting without you for the 1st time?
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| Sure, why not??? |
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| Oh my gosh, NO!!! |
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Total Votes : 31
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(last vote on : 6/24/2008 10:34:27 AM)
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/5/2008 7:37:45 PM
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manda59
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Since he doesn't swim very well, then absolutely no.
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/5/2008 7:41:41 PM
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IonMoon
Posts: 981
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With the specific issues you mentioned, probably not. The youth pastor will have his hands full and should not have one child he is responsible for in addition to this. I would possibly consider it if another adult male that we know well (an uncle, grandfather, etc) could stand in for dad. That way I would know somwone was there to be absolutely sure ds had a life jacket on at all times that was fitted properly, etc.
Whitewater rafting can be mild and fairly safe to VERY dangerous, depending on the waterway. I would be leery of even the mildest with a child who doesn't swim well without a parent, though.
Camping out I would probably be okay with--but if it is a church we were new to, I would probably want a stand in for dad again...
Tara P
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/5/2008 7:51:40 PM
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evryknee
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Under these circumstances, no I would not. Being in the mental health field where I am paid to be paranoid, I would not feel comfortable about the sleeping arrangements more so than the white water rafting. There are life vests, guides, etc., but I would not feel comfortable giving the go-ahead without an extremely trusted person going with my son.
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/5/2008 7:53:51 PM
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karlie
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If he swam well and was going to be with a particular adult I knew well and trusted to be responsible for him, then yes.
If he didn't swim well and was not going to be with one of the parents, then no way!
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/5/2008 8:18:42 PM
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cindybode
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I would let him go if there was another trusted adult who could stand in for dad. As Tara pointed out, the youth pastor will already have his hands full. One of the reasons they do these kind of adventures as father/son trips is so that each child has an adult who is responsible for him.
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/5/2008 8:40:53 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10219
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I would if someone else were able to go in place of dad, someone who would be solely responsible for my child and who I trusted completely.
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I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
~Psalm 57:9-10~
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/5/2008 9:02:18 PM
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shadowspring
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I let my son go on an Adventure Camp outing at his uncle's Christian camp when he was that age. They went camping and exploring a cavern, swimming, etc. I thought since professionals, and relatives at that, had planned the camp, it would be appropriate for a ten year old boy, or it wouldn't be marketed to ten year old boys.
He had the worst week, and another young boy was crying when his parents got there because he was so happy to see them and leave the camp! The leader ratio was high: two college students to eight boys, ages ten to twelve. But the experience was not age appropriate, and the brochure failed to explain that they would camping in the caverns in the cold pitch dark the whole week.
Further, my son and the other boy who was visibly shaken were stockier boys. Squeezing through passages in the cavern was terrifying.  My son thought he was stuck once. They would not let him leave or call his parents. The other campers (Christians!) made fun of the boys who were scared and unhappy. It was the most regrettable thing I have ever done as a parent. 
I thought someone would call us if our children were not happy. I thought they would be camping in the woods (which he has done many times) and exploring caves in the daytime. The brochure never explained that he would be underground 24/7 for five days in a row. 
I also mistakenly thought that especially being the directors nephew he would be well-cared for.
I thought wrong. 
No way I would ever recommend a young child go without a parent unless it is a safe and familiar experience/place that he is physically confident with trying. Go the drive-in movies with the youth group? Yes. Baseball game? Yes.
Whitewater rafting? No. Double no if the child is not a strong swimmer.
He can always go later, when he's older and stronger. But if you send him and he has a negative experience, you can't take it back.
Why not just wait until you (or a trusted family friend, if moms aren't welcome) can go with him? He's only eleven. This youth group trip will probably happen every year.
< Message edited by shadowspring -- 6/5/2008 9:08:26 PM >
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/5/2008 11:15:59 PM
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pbaribeault
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Yes, whitewater rafting is a risky activity.
However, I'm not of the opinion that having or not having a one-on-one ratio of adults with children is really going to change that risk. If any person gets jolted from the boat, no bystander (bysitter?) is going to be able to catch them, and they will be rescued by the professional, not by their father.
What will mater (both during the trip and in case of an emergency) is (1) following instructions (2) remaining calm (3) swimming ability... If you evaluate your son on those criteria, you will be much closer to a good judgment of the appropriatenesses of this trip.
Also, I'm thinking that these father-son things are meant to be bonding times... your son might feel left out of some of the activities, if they are for boys and dads, and he has to do his with the leader or whoever came with him.
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/6/2008 1:31:57 AM
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saraimay75
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I would not suggest anyone child or adult who can't swim well to go White Water Rafting.
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/6/2008 7:05:02 AM
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csl7037
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I went ww rafting for the first time the summer after my freshman year in HS with a friend and her parents. I guess I was 14. It's not that big of a deal. I would, however, need to have an arrangement with another dad who was willing to look out for his kid and my kid. It would be even better if an ucle, grandfather, or even older cousin or someone like that could go in your dh's place. I agree the Youth minister, overseeing the whole trip, will have too much on his plate.
My dd's friends go to an overnight camp for a whole week starting this year - the summer after 3rd grade. That absolutely freaks me out and I'm so relieved that she doesn't really want to go! She might think it's just for kids who go to church at her school and not realize that she could go and how many of her friends are going. Whatever. She's not going! In two years, when her brother can go with her - maybe. We'll see.
But at 11, for a trip that's almost one on one, I think I'd try to make an arrangement for him to be able to go. WW Rafting isn't that dangerous. You've got a lifevest and a helmet. The water's only about 3 feet deep anyway - swimming ability isn't the issue. If he's a kid prone to freaking out if he were to fall in, I might be concerned. But you really just have to be able to listen to the guide and follow directions. It wouldn't help to be an olympic swimmer in that situation, IMO.
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/6/2008 7:58:57 AM
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rcorson
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I have been whitewater rafting more times than I can count and I would say if was with a trusted adult such as an uncle or grandparent, AND is relatively calm in scary situations, then YES, let him go. If he freaks out over little stuff or someone trusted can't take his dad's place, then no, don't send him. Depending on the rapid levels, whitewater rafting can either be pretty laid back and fun (class 2-3 rapids) or extremely dangerous (class 4-5 rapids). Yes, he will most definitely have a life jacket on and possibly a helmet if they head down the bigger rapids. The thing you have to worry about is how is he going to react if the boat flips and he gets separated from his trusted adult? Some kids are fine and follow the instructions of the leader, some kids will freak in situations like that. With most rafting companies, safety is their top priority and concern so the chances of them actually ending up in the water involuntarily are slim but it can happen.
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/6/2008 8:20:04 AM
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PrincessDonna
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From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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If the rafting company is allowing 11 year olds to go, the rapids are probably very mild. They usually have minimum ages for the higher levels. Something to check into though...I agree if it was more dangerous ones, I would not want a non-swimmer to go.
_____________________________
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
~Psalm 57:9-10~
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/6/2008 9:38:28 AM
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zoebob
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My dd went when she was about 7 with her grandfather and uncle. My brother was at Notre Dame and they have a man made rafting place. Anyway, she could swim OK for someone her age but not great and not in rough water. She had a life jacket and helmet. At one point she did fall out but my brother was able to just reach over and grab her and pull her back in.
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/6/2008 12:58:24 PM
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manda59
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If the OP's son doesn't swim very well, then it's likely that he's not that confident in the water either, so I think it *does* matter a lot.
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"I love Manda's suggestion to just laugh most of it off.."
Tinkerbell, September 2008
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/6/2008 1:27:58 PM
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kohls356
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quote:
ORIGINAL: karlie
If he swam well and was going to be with a particular adult I knew well and trusted to be responsible for him, then yes.
If he didn't swim well and was not going to be with one of the parents, then no way!
That is pretty much what I was going to say.
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/6/2008 2:23:21 PM
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DenimDiva
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Since your "gut feeling" says no and for the reasons you listed in your post, I did vote no.
However, when my 15 yo dd was about that age, I let her go rock climbing and zip lining (over a river) with the church youth group. She's not a good swimmer, doesn't enjoy getting wet, has mild asthma and she's afraid of heights. It was a camping trip. Her father and I weren't there. She wanted to do it. I made her promise that she'd only do it if she wasn't pressured and felt that she could deal with her own phobias. She did it and loved it so much that she did it every year after that. She still has problems with asthma, swimming and doesn't like water. However, she is no longer afraid of heights.
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RE: Would you allow your 11yo son to go white water raf... - 6/8/2008 2:09:57 AM
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1love1God1way
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How strong are the rapids? That makes a big difference.
Can he swim with a life vest?
Would he panic if he fell out?
I went white water rafting when I was young, too. Not a great swimmer, but when your in the rapids, it doesn't make the biggest deal, you just keep your feet up in front of you and go with the flow til things slow down enough to paddle yourself over to show.
The thing was. . . we had excellent guides that took us youngsters. They watched out for us and knew exactly how to handle every situation.
One of my buddies not only fell out of the boat. . . but then went over a waterfall. And then the raft landed on top of him.
All that combined, and he was still uninjured and everyone else's response time was incredible to make sure he was alright (he, of course, just swam off all on his own, and never thought a thing of it).
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Generally, if I knew the person leading the trip, knew my son was responsible and a good swimmer, I wouldn't worry. I was white water rafting (and doing a whole lot of other wild stuff) at that age. But we were well trained in swimming and water safety and had leaders who were responsible for us as if for their own children. 
You all confirmed my "gut" feeling.. He won't be going... 
They went down some extreme rapids from what I hear. 
