are there really women out tere that are totally happy with their lives??
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are there really women out tere that are totally happy ... - 3/19/2008 5:10:12 PM
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Pinksultana
Posts: 61
Joined: 4/13/2005
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I ask this question because for myself I find myself wanting more ...
I know I have had a low self esteem a long time and am trying to lose weight and become healthier, which I think is a good thing to want
but I find myself wanting more interseting friends, an exciting job,...a funner life i suppose than the one I have
I want to be closer to God and more disciplined which I also think is a good thing to want....
but Im afraid of becoming a person who likes none of my life and wants everything to change, and is never truly happy....
I dont really even know what advice I want at the moment...maybe how you keep yourself grounded and happy with what you have? ...I knwo things could be a lot worse for me and im grateful for what I have....but theres a but....
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/19/2008 5:11:33 PM
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MrsOliver
Posts: 88
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yes, I would have to say so!!! at least for myself! why do you ask?
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/19/2008 5:18:03 PM
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MrsOliver
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I am assuming you have the answers...but find it difficult to connect with them? losing weight is powerful and litterally will create a whole new YOU!!! sometimes we look on the outside for pleasures and excitements of life, when really they rest on the inside, but if you're not satisfied with who you are, the way you look, your accomplishments, what you offer to the world, then you may always be looking for that "next thing" that will keep you feeling alive!!! When really, you just have to connect with what 'drives' you, what your 'passions' are? what makes you tick?
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/19/2008 5:25:23 PM
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3cappuccinosmom
Posts: 2550
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I would say I am. Not that it's perfect (I could stand to lose a huge amount of weight), or that I don't have emotional ups and downs (hormones make me nutty  ), but that "I have learned to be content in all situations". I have a good life, I am blessed in so many ways, and I am happy. There are many things I would love to have or to do, but my happiness is not dependent on them, so not having or not doing doesn't affect my joy.
quote:
I dont really even know what advice I want at the moment...maybe how you keep yourself grounded and happy with what you have? ...I knwo things could be a lot worse for me and im grateful for what I have....but theres a but....
One thing I do that is very helpful is pay attention to the lives and situations of others around me. That really puts my "problems" into perspective. I'm not starving, my husband is loving and faithful, my children are healthy and sweet, I have all kinds of resources and entertainment, and nobody is going to raid my town and chop my hand off with a machete or strip me and shave my head because I'm a Christian. KWIM?
I am where God wants me to be, doing what He wants me to do, and I also know that I am living a privelaged life beyond anything I deserve. Discontentment is definately a temptation, especially in a culture where the background noise is a constant "MORE MORE MORE MORE". But it is possible to practice thankfulness and contentment and become more "skilled" in living with those attitudes over time. Whenever I am tempted to start feeling sorry for myself, or coveting things I do not have, I pick up a copy of Voice of the Martyrs magazine, and think about those people who are grinning to beat the band even though they are living in huts and under constant threat of beatings or death because they preach the Gospel. If they can be content and even joyful, then whatever do i have to complain about? 
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/19/2008 5:46:06 PM
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MrsOliver
Posts: 88
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You appear to have everything in perspective!!! It could just be that you need a mini-vacation!!! a trip out of town away from the norm? Or a really good laugh!!! Laughing is great therapy and can make the world just seem better! And when all else fails...just pray that God will reveal to you, what it is you need!! HE knows us better than we know ourselves!!!! I have found myself frustrated at times and feeling 'bored' in my life. I have broken it up with a special night planned for my husband and I (out of town or just to the Anniversary INN) or planned a 'girls/ladies" sleep over and laughed until we passed out!!!!
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/19/2008 6:27:23 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
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I am  I have a wonderful husband, a darling daughter, clothes on my back, food on the table, a roof over my head AND I am a Daughter of the King. What more could I possibly want?
My treasures are not here on earth but in Heaven, so while making more money would make life easier(and we will eventually) I don't think I have so much of a pull towards "earthly" goods.
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The opinions stated in the above post are solely mine and in no way should they be
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/19/2008 10:34:12 PM
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29redballoons
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Ummm, I am! No life isn't perfect, but mine is so darn close sometimes I feel guilty. I am blessed beyond measure with a husband that loves me unconditionally and a daughter for whom I am eternally grateful for and with whom I love very dearly and with whom I am very close.
I pray that everyone can find joy and contentment. I do hesitate posting in these type threads because I do sometimes feel guilty being so happy when others are obviously hurting. may God bless those in pain.
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/19/2008 10:57:13 PM
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isaacsmom
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I'm truly happy!  I am blessed and don't take it for granted. I thank the Lord every day.
quote:
One thing I do that is very helpful is pay attention to the lives and situations of others around me. That really puts my "problems" into perspective. I'm not starving, my husband is loving and faithful, my children are healthy and sweet, I have all kinds of resources and entertainment, and nobody is going to raid my town and chop my hand off with a machete or strip me and shave my head because I'm a Christian. KWIM?
I am where God wants me to be, doing what He wants me to do, and I also know that I am living a privelaged life beyond anything I deserve.
This is my thinking as well. If I do start to covet more sometimes, I bring myself back to this. And then I ask forgiveness and start thanking God for his goodness.
And I look at the people who supposedly "have it all". Perfect bodies and lots of money. They are suicidal, can't stay in a healthy relationship, are in rehab, etc. Just look at entertainment news, it's there every day. Doesn't seem worth it to me.
quote:
I pray that everyone can find joy and contentment. I do hesitate posting in these type threads because I do sometimes feel guilty being so happy when others are obviously hurting. may God bless those in pain.
Sometimes I feel guilty as well. I have friends who are really hurting right now. I genuinely pray for them and I remember not to take anything in my life for granted. I'm no more deserving than anyone else.
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/19/2008 11:35:44 PM
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sunshine4God
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I am happy with my life.Despite learning problems,being lonely,etc
I am happy.The reason why is I have the Joy of the lord in an awesome way and he is my best friend ever!
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Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
Its me!
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/20/2008 8:13:03 AM
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lexie
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I am very happy with where I am right now. I do think that down the road there is more in store for us, but right now, I am happy with our situation. There are rough spots and troubles, but no reason for me to leave the situation I am in at all.
quote:
nobody is going to raid my town and chop my hand off with a machete or strip me and shave my head because I'm a Christian
Growing up in a culture of more, more, more had me thinking in the past that I wasn't happy, but things like the quote above are what helped me see differently.
My stepfather grew up in a refugee camp during WW2. His family left their native country because of war and WALKED to another country. They were separated along the way, and reunited later by German soldiers.
My husband grew up in poverty. He remembers the political violence of the 70's and 80's, he was there as it sunk into economic decay and over the years he has watched his country become extremely violent and unsafe.
Yet both my stepfather and husband were extremely happy. If they could see the brighter side of things, and what is in store for them throughout those situations, then why can't I see how happy I can truly be in my life?
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/20/2008 8:21:31 AM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 7636
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Pinksultana
I ask this question because for myself I find myself wanting more ...
I know I have had a low self esteem a long time and am trying to lose weight and become healthier, which I think is a good thing to want
but I find myself wanting more interseting friends, an exciting job,...a funner life i suppose than the one I have
I want to be closer to God and more disciplined which I also think is a good thing to want....
but Im afraid of becoming a person who likes none of my life and wants everything to change, and is never truly happy....
I dont really even know what advice I want at the moment...maybe how you keep yourself grounded and happy with what you have? ...I knwo things could be a lot worse for me and im grateful for what I have....but theres a but....
Yep, I'm happy. There are things about me that I want to improve, but I don't stress about them or beat myself up about it. I figure I'm moving forward at the pace God has set for me.
What you said about friends and job and a funner life, though. I truly, honestly think that the secret of interesting friends, exciting job and funner life is YOUR inner life. The one inside your head. If you find yourself interesting, exciting and fun that goes a long way toward making your circumstances interesting, exciting and fun. I don't know what interests or excites you, maybe you don't right now either. But figure that out, spend time learning about it or practicing it and you have that with you even when you're doing mindless, mundane tasks. Everything is fun when you enjoy your own company. Become the kind of person you love spending time with! That way, it'll never matter in the least what your external circumstances are.
< Message edited by CoeurdeLeon -- 3/20/2008 8:28:03 AM >
_____________________________
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Therefore you should revere my Wisdom!
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/20/2008 10:09:28 AM
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HisCovenant
Posts: 4689
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Yes, I'm happy, too. That doesn't mean that I have a perfect life and that my circumstances are always enviable. I agree with what these other ladies are saying about perspective and about there being great joy in being where God wants you to be (growing towards Him as well as participating in His tasks.)
I also agree that you knowing you are valuable ("interesting and fun") is a key. The way you treat yourself cues others on how you expect to be treated and they do subconsciously respond to that. However, I'd take that key a step further and say that "knowing you are valuable" should lead you into investing into others lives. It will cause you to believe you can hold an exciting job... it will cause you to be a friend to others and at some point attract a true friend who is even better than interesting- one that loves you no matter what.
Here are a few things to think over:
-One thing that has totally changes my life is learning to study the Bible Inductively. This means that I read the Bible in context, allow scripture to interpret scripture, and don't feel the need to always interpret scripture (read: don't dogmatically go beyond what the scripture says.) It means that I spend time directly with God without filters of any sort. In short, I went from listening to gossip about God (sermons, sunday school lessons, devotionals, conversations with Christians) to listening to God. I had a relationship with Him before, but now I have a close relationship that is unshakeable. I understand Him when many others don't take the time to... that doesn't mean I don't have questions or a lot of maturing to do... it does mean I have seen exponential growth. It means that I know my place in Him, He's teaching me to understand Him more and more, and I can boldly know things (what my priorities should be, what I have to offer, how I should treat others, what treatment I deserve, what tasks I am called to do, that I can trust God no matter my circumstances, peace doesn't rest on other people.) I believe doing this has been a key to growing me from the good, but selfish American teenager, to someone who is expecting to serve others.
-The people I see around me who are unhappy generally won't be honest with themselves. They don't want to discern the roots of problems and deal with the true problem. They are busy about covering up symptoms and reputation and not busy about getting to the heart of the matter and acting in reality. This issue comes in many different circumstances, from the woman who continuously dates/marrys losers because she believes "judging is wrong" to the man who won't admit he's wrong- ever!
- People I know who are happy make wise choice where they are and eventually they find themselves not having better consequences. That doesn't mean everything is perfect for them or taht they ever eradicate consequences from earlier poor decisions, but rathar that they are heading in a better direction and at peace as far as they are able. A single lady choses to inspect men closely so she doesn't find herself unequally yolked. A obese man looks at food as nutrition instead of something to comfort him. A lonely mother actively serves others while looking for companionship. Never think you are stuck... you can always change your attitude and move forward towards a better life.
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My friends call me Zippy!
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/20/2008 1:14:35 PM
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laughinggirl
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From: Dallas, TX
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I am!!! I love my life!
I have an awesome, loving, thoughtful husband, we just bought and moved into our lovely first house, I have a great family and fantastic in-laws, I've been able to travel all over and have lots of adventures, I have a solid group of girlfriends that have been such a blessing to me, and I have a stable, pleasant job where I've worked for over 10 years.
Physically, I'm not perfect, and there are lots of things about my appearance that I wish were different. However, my husband loves me just the way I am, and that's helped my perspective a lot.
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/20/2008 4:32:23 PM
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3tulips
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I am happy, though like all of you there are things I want to improve on.
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/21/2008 12:58:41 AM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2208
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
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I think everyone wants a little more sometimes. There are healthy wants and unhealthy wants though. If we never wanted anything, then we wouldn't progress of have motivation. My hubby is motivated to make more money so we can own a house with a backyard, and so we can get our teeth fixed. Right now, those are our only big wants, so I'd say we're pretty happy with our lives.
I knew someone who had champagne dreams on a beer man's salary, and he was unhappy because he always lived in want. He wanted the big screen and the super duper computer and the newest gadget, and he got them. But, it put him in the poor house. Which made him want MORE. It's a vicious cycle.
I have to remind myself often that I ought to be grateful for what I have (when I yearn for a backyard). I have a car that runs good, and some people don't even have a car. We eat 3 square meals a day, and some people don't eat even once a day. We have a safe place to live with walls and heaters and windows, and some people live in a cardboard box in an alley, or in a straw hut with no sound privacy.
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/21/2008 5:59:25 AM
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car2ner
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I am happy. Wasn't always but I was counting my blessings during the really hard times. I now keep a blessings diary.
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/21/2008 6:48:22 AM
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Pinksultana
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a blessings diary is a great idea....how do you keep it? write a new blessing a day???
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/21/2008 8:27:58 AM
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McKate
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I'm by no means grounded. I'm overworked and underpaid, struggle to pay rent every month, and have a bunch of legal ****ola going on to top everything off...but I'm a very happy person. I'm also young, and I know that with a little motivation, elbow grease and confidence, the finances and other things will come together in my favor.
Keep your head up and keep truckin'. Execute every fleeting idea that comes into your mind and fear nothing.
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/22/2008 10:16:29 PM
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LaurainAL
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The blessing journal is a great idea. I am going to do it.
I am not happy now, but I have hope that things will get better.
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 3/23/2008 5:00:39 PM
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BrowneyedAL
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Honestly...yes I AM happy. Now if you'd told me a year ago (or 5, 10 or 20 years ago too for that matter) that I'd ever be able to say that with complete and total honesty I probably would have asked you what you were smoking because you MUST be high! I spent most of my life waiting...waiting until I grew up...waiting until I finished school...waiting until my kids were in school...waiting until my kids were out of school...waiting for a better job...waiting for my spouse to read my mind...waiting until I lost 10 lbs (or 20!)...waiting to pay off some bill or another that I thought 'if I could just get rid of that'...waiting for some sort of 'practical application' for all the concepts I'd learned in church...waiting for my life to finally become 'perfect'...it was always something.
I never lived in today...never took time to count my blessings or just enjoy right now. I couldn't see the good things (mental, emotional, material or otherwise) that I had right then for focusing on what I didn't have...and what it would take to get it. I couldn't look in the mirror and see God's beloved daughter...I saw something hideous that (it turns out) wasn't even there! I couldn't properly appreciate what a truly amazing man I married for focusing on the ways he wasn't meeting my every (usually unrealistic) expectation or need.
I lived in constant fear that the world would see the 'real me' (you know...that one I saw in the mirror) and want nothing to do with me so even the things I did recognize in my life as good I couldn't accept as truth...because I kept expecting them to disappear. That sort of day to day exsistence takes a toll after a while...I would sometimes sit in my bath crying just wishing that someone would come and save me. It literally took me being at a point that I could no longer go on the way I had been for me to feel so broken that I knew that nobody and nothing on earth could 'fix' me for me to know that only God could do it.
Being at that point of complete dissatisfaction and despair was what finally allowed me to completely surrender to God...to honestly say...'Here God, you take it' and be truly willing to give up all that control that I'd tried to have over my life. I'm not sure what, exactly, I expected when I did that...I just felt like it was my only chance for survival...I can say that I didn't expect to find satisfaction, acceptance, serenity, peace and happiness...I didn't expect that because I never believed those were options for me. But as I accepted that God was in control and not me and chose to live one day at a time asking him for just enough for today...just enough strength...just enough guidance...just enough food and shelter...just enough wisdom...just enough courage...just for today...I started to realize that I was no longer 'waiting' that I was just enjoying today. So just for today...I really am totally happy...and that's good enough for me...I'll worry about tomorrow when it gets here!
_____________________________
Lisa
I have learned in whatever state I am to be content (Philippians 4:11)
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 4/6/2008 2:34:23 AM
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writeon
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I am really happy with my life. Which is weird, because I used to be totally unhappy. I used to compare myself with others (a source of great unhappiness for me - others had better jobs, more interesting hobbies, nicer stuff and far more talent in every way than me and I chased my tail trying to compete - even though I was the only one who saw life as a competition.) Then the worst thing ever happened - I lost my youth.
Then, God showed me that I am made by him and the way I am is the way he wanted it. So I just try to be myself and accept others. I found that being a real (non competitive) friend meant that I got to share life with some fabulous women. I get to laugh with them and bounce ideas off them. Now, I realise I was unthankful to God for all he had given me and missed the opportunities he gave me because I was so wrapped up in my own sense of need. Now I try to accept myself and love others and lose myself in God.
I don't know if any of this makes sense, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I've finished doing that. I'm just happy to be myself.
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 4/7/2008 9:10:43 PM
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BrowneyedAL
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From: North Alabama
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quote:
ORIGINAL: writeon
I am really happy with my life. Which is weird, because I used to be totally unhappy. I used to compare myself with others (a source of great unhappiness for me - others had better jobs, more interesting hobbies, nicer stuff and far more talent in every way than me and I chased my tail trying to compete - even though I was the only one who saw life as a competition.) Then the worst thing ever happened - I lost my youth.
Then, God showed me that I am made by him and the way I am is the way he wanted it. So I just try to be myself and accept others. I found that being a real (non competitive) friend meant that I got to share life with some fabulous women. I get to laugh with them and bounce ideas off them. Now, I realise I was unthankful to God for all he had given me and missed the opportunities he gave me because I was so wrapped up in my own sense of need. Now I try to accept myself and love others and lose myself in God.
I don't know if any of this makes sense, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I've finished doing that. I'm just happy to be myself.
I can SO relate to that statement. It's an amazing revelation when you accept that fact.
_____________________________
Lisa
I have learned in whatever state I am to be content (Philippians 4:11)
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RE: are there really women out tere that are totally ha... - 4/22/2008 1:26:58 AM
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LongingForGrace
Posts: 9
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From: Prospect Park, PA
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I think there is a difference - at least with me - between being happy and being content. One book that is helping me keep my life in focus and what (and who) can make me happy, is the book "Captivating" by John and Satsi Eldrich - I highly recommend it. It is teaching me that I will never be happy or satisfied as long as I continue to expect others to come through for me or add to my happiness - because while they may, and that's great, we can not depend on it. The ONLY person that can fulfill us and give us that romanced/pursued/sought after/exciting life that we longed for is Christ. It really is an awesome book :) Check it out :)
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Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul and all your strength.
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