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dating teen-help - 7/11/2008 2:37:46 PM
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jmama82
Posts: 4
Joined: 7/11/2008
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i have 3 children who have beenraised ina christian home they have all made a profession of faith- but the fruit is a little hard to see. my son 19 has started to see a young lady who goes to church but i do not believe has a relationship with christ- I am trying to guide my son thru this and we have set up safe guards but we cannot police them 24/7. I see my son falling for the schemes of the enemy and i believe he wants to remain pure but the enemy has blinded him in seeing the truth about this young lady. i am trying to be God led in what to say but it is hard when you see your kid about to hit a brick wall. ibelieve the young lady with guidance will see the messages she is giving off- i dont think she means to give off these messages but that is all she knows. i would like to spend time with her but i think my son thinks we will fry her up and eat her:) he has only brought her by the house once- did i mention my huband is a pastor- so i think he thinks we are going to beat her with a bible!! Help i am like a deer caught in the headlights!!
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RE: dating teen-help - 7/11/2008 3:19:06 PM
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Hislittleone
Posts: 633
Joined: 7/13/2007
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Would you mind giving a little more detail about:
1) Exactly what it is you disapprove of as far as the young lady is concerned.
2) What do you mean when you say your son not showing the fruit of his walk?
3) What are you afraid is going to happen in this relationship?
4) Exactly what would you like to sit down and say to this girl?
5) How old is she and how did your son come to know her?
6) What makes you think she does not have a relationship with Christ?
I don't mean to pry but more detail might help give us a more clear picture of the situation.
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RE: dating teen-help - 7/11/2008 3:33:06 PM
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daisies4u
Posts: 214
Joined: 10/16/2006
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First of all, take a deep breath.
Now....the main thing that you need to realize is that your son is not a little boy any more. At 19 he should be able to make his own decisions. While you can gently try to steer him in the right direction, it is ultimately his decision. You just have to trust that you have instilled in him good values and they he will make the right decision.
The other side of this is how that decision affects the rest of the family. You didn't give alot of details, but if this girl is not someone that you would want around your younger children, then you need to address that. You are still the parent and even though this son is 19, he lives with you so you are not out of bounds to set some boundaries.
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RE: dating teen-help - 7/11/2008 4:59:51 PM
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mommyplus3
Posts: 56
Joined: 7/8/2008
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i can only offer you support and tell you my story.
i am the granddaughter of a souther baptist minister. when i met my future husband and we decided to get married, of course, i weent to my grandfather and asked him to marry me. he had his reservations since hubby-to-be was not a christian. he had "been" to church..in his words, on Christmas and Easter...but did not have a relationship. hubby had also been marrie before and had a son from that marriage. my grandfather did have a policy (or whatever word you want to use) about not marrying a couple in which one was not a christian...or couples who had been married before. after much discussion and prayer with me, he finally decided to marry us. hubby and i went on to have 3 children and found a church family where we were both happy and one of the most joyous days was when he mad his profession of faith. guess who baptized him?
my point is...i know you probably have your ideas and wishes about who your son (or any of your children) dates or spends time with. i agree with the poster that said at 19, you have to trust what you instilled in him. i would think that if he has the strong conviction that you have instilled in him, that he knows what he is doing, and will do what is right...even though it might be hard to see through your eyes just yet.
prayers for you...and best wishes.
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RE: dating teen-help - 7/14/2008 2:25:13 PM
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AslansChild
Posts: 45
Joined: 6/30/2005
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I am interested in peoples responses to the OP but also a question for the OP, At what age did your son start dating? Is this his first girlfriend? The reason for my question is that I have a 15yo son who want's to date and I am struggling with letting him or not. I almost feel that if he begins dating before going off to college that there are certain subtle parental things I can influence so that when he is in a relationship at 19 he/we will already have an idea of what a Christ like relationship with a girl should be.
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RE: dating teen-help - 7/14/2008 2:46:37 PM
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jmama82
Posts: 4
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline
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She is 18- I think she needs guidance as to what makes a young lady attractive- she is taking her ques from the world. I would love to talk to her about her dress and the message it sends out even though idont believe she means to send out those messages. this is my sons first real dating experience. He struggles with standing up for what he know is right-he wants to be cool for his friends instead of making a stand for Christ. He is a good kid i just want him to be alert to the tricks of the enemy. thankyou for your help
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