RE: How hard would you work at being what your spouse wanted you to be?
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RE: How hard would you work at being what your spouse w... - 1/4/2008 10:55:14 AM
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WalkingwithHim2
Posts: 1883
Joined: 12/13/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: shemaromans
In the end, though, is it really that much of a sacrifice to try to please your spouse physically? I've never been married, but I imagine that it would be an honor to make my husband happy in this way.
Excellent post shema.
I'll second that!
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RE: How hard would you work at being what your spouse w... - 1/4/2008 12:06:25 PM
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trainfan
Posts: 2559
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: neither here nor there
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WalkingwithHim2
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: shemaromans
In the end, though, is it really that much of a sacrifice to try to please your spouse physically? I've never been married, but I imagine that it would be an honor to make my husband happy in this way.
Excellent post shema.
I'll second that!
Ditto!
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RE: How hard would you work at being what your spouse w... - 1/5/2008 1:57:09 PM
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Dakotasunbeam
Posts: 1146
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Midwest USA
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NiceGuy,
This is one of the most beautiful posts I've ever read!!!
quote:
ORIGINAL: NiceGuy
***Incoming Message from the Big Giant Head ***
While reading Denise's post, this particular passage came to mind:
quote:
2 Samuel 23:13-17 (NIV)
13 During harvest time, three of the thirty chief men came down to David at the cave of Adullam, while a band of Philistines was encamped in the Valley of Rephaim. 14 At that time David was in the stronghold, and the Philistine garrison was at Bethlehem. 15 David longed for water and said, "Oh, that someone would get me a drink of water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem!" 16 So the three mighty men broke through the Philistine lines, drew water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem and carried it back to David. But he refused to drink it; instead, he poured it out before the LORD. 17 "Far be it from me, O LORD, to do this!" he said. "Is it not the blood of men who went at the risk of their lives?" And David would not drink it.
What David's mighty men did was insane admirable, but the most interesting part of the story is what David did with the water when he realized the depth of what he had asked them to do. I think the lesson of the above passage is this:
Be mindful of what you ask of those who love/trust/respect you. While the request for a wife to maintain long/short hair (or whatever else) may seem trivial on the surface, it may very well be a breaking-through-the-Philistine-lines sort of big deal to her. This could be for reasons that she may not even be able to express or possibly is embarassed to express. Because she loves you and wants to please you, it places an unfair burden on her, especially if you make a point of letting her know that you much prefer for her to look/weigh just so.
So, to give the question a different twist, how hard would you work at making sure that you never find yourself in the position David found himself in with his mighty men, pouring out the "drink offering" that your spouse has brought you?
NiceGuy 
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RE: How hard would you work at being what your spouse w... - 1/7/2008 10:49:22 AM
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elastic
Posts: 2809
Joined: 4/15/2005
From: NYC
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quote:
you know your mate wants you to be someway (for a lady that would normally be just like you were on your wedding day) how hard would you work to be that.
for a woman, (usually) her wedding day is the day she looks her best. During our dating relationship I didn't look the way I looked on my wedding day. My hair was a different color, a different style, I wore false finger nails, my make up was done by a professional, etc, etc, etc....the maintenance that went into my wedding day does not go into my day to day life. i haven't looked the same as i looked on my wedding day, well, since my wedding day.
My wedding day was a special day captured by cameras and attended by friends...in a way, it is a special memory that is never going to be relived again...my day to day life is just between us as man and wife. we don't wax nostalgic for the way things were on that day because we have both grown and changed (for the better)...the things that were important to us on our wedding day are not as important to us now....the goals we had for each other on our wedding day have been met and we are on to new and more important goals....the dreams we had then are not the dreams we have now, as those dreams were fulfilled.....we can't go back to the way we were on that day, so why should we both look the same way we looked on that day?
i'm a little fatter, he's a little balder, my hair's a little redder, his belt's a little tighter , but we have changed together and have managed to love each other more and more despite any changes.
_____________________________
"You are so right elastic" ~Qtman
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RE: How hard would you work at being what your spouse w... - 1/7/2008 11:06:08 AM
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besiderself
Posts: 1124
Joined: 11/8/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: elastic
the things that were important to us on our wedding day are not as important to us now....the goals we had for each other on our wedding day have been met and we are on to new and more important goals....the dreams we had then are not the dreams we have now, as those dreams were fulfilled.....we can't go back to the way we were on that day, so why should we both look the same way we looked on that day?
i'm a little fatter, he's a little balder, my hair's a little redder, his belt's a little tighter , but we have changed together and have managed to love each other more and more despite any changes.
That is beautiful, and just the way I remember it being with my husband after 18 years of marriage. Somethings just didn't matter any more, and more important things became the focus of our relationship than how either one of us looked. Heck, for us, looks wasn't a huge deal anyway, though it was certainly a nice side benefit.
I'm sorry for those for whom this is/was not true...feeling cheated because your spouse changes physically after marriage must be very hard on the marriage. Maybe reality checks are in order...everybody changes as they get older, and usually that begins with weight gain.
besiderself
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RE: How hard would you work at being what your spouse w... - 1/7/2008 1:38:15 PM
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John_O
Posts: 6882
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: elastic
quote:
you know your mate wants you to be someway (for a lady that would normally be just like you were on your wedding day) how hard would you work to be that.
i haven't looked the same as i looked on my wedding day, well, since my wedding day.
You probably looked about the same for the next several months after your wedding day. Unless of course you had your hair cut on your honeymoon or something. Clothes don't make the woman, nor does makeup etc. He didn't choose to love you on your wedding day. That choice was made before then. But on your wedding day you were still exactly what he wanted so I use the wedding day as the milestone. So under the make up and fancy hair do and expensive dress was the exact woman woman he wanted.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: How hard would you work at being what your spouse w... - 1/7/2008 2:21:05 PM
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Enoch195
Posts: 194
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Alberta, Canada
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I think it is important that in any relationship, there needs to an acceptance of each other. Expecting someone to change or to change to someone's standards is not a good thing IMO. It should be God who lives in us who is changing us and molding us to be like Him.
_____________________________
Don't be sappy.. be happy.
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RE: How hard would you work at being what your spouse w... - 4/30/2008 2:36:59 PM
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itsnotwhatuthink
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Joined: 3/19/2008
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If I thought my husband wanted a WHAT, I would find him one. How about WHO a person is?
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RE: How hard would you work at being what your spouse w... - 4/30/2008 3:58:09 PM
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John_O
Posts: 6882
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: whitepine
If I thought my husband wanted a WHAT, I would find him one. How about WHO a person is?
Excellent question WP. But I think you are misunderstanding the title question. Read some more of the thread.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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...not to mention the great tan i had when we got back to nyc...the southern sun is a killer.
