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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/28/2008 10:00:42 PM
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utilityfielder
Posts: 12497
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Home of the Champions
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quote:
ORIGINAL: denbert
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(((((((BEN)))))))
Praying for you buddy!
Same here.
_____________________________
Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement. Ronald Reagan
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/28/2008 11:00:11 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 5127
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Praying for Evan and Kayla AND Lynn (of course you too, Ben)
_____________________________
Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 6:43:11 AM
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Darcyjo
Posts: 16144
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From: Sunny NC!
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Oh, my dear brother.....may grace surround you today. Praying for you all today, and that God holds you very close to Him.
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Who, me?....my blog!
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 8:39:54 AM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 10977
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From: Lone Star State
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How do I handle money? She has a check card for the account that the paycheck is deposited into. Should I cancel that card? Make her come see me if she needs cash?
The registration and insurance for her car is coming up, I do plan on paying those.
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 9:50:12 AM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26208
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Abba, I ask that Your Complete Protection and Comfort just absolutely envelope and surround Ben. There are so many tough decisions that need to be made now; please let Your Wisdom and Your Guidance be pervasive in them. Please continue to strengthen Ben in all ways. Father, I ask for an offline Christian brother to come and literally walk through this situation with Ben; send people to him that can help in whatever way he needs it. I thank you for Evan who is staying strong and helping with Kayla. I ask your Comfort on both Evan and Kayla throughout all this. I pray for Lynn that she be able to return home, where she belongs. I pray for the other man as and his family as well. In Jesus' Name, I pray that Your Will be done in every single aspect of this. Amen.
Ben, it seems wise to, yes, cancel the check card. I can only imagine how difficult that decision is to make. I am continuing to pray for you, my friend.
_____________________________
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 10:04:38 AM
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karlie
Posts: 16953
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
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quote:
How do I handle money? She has a check card for the account that the paycheck is deposited into. Should I cancel that card? Make her come see me if she needs cash?
((((Ben))) You're in such a hard place with those decisions. 
quote:
If, in her unmedicated state, you think there is ANY possiblility that she might take larger amounts of money that would jepordize your ability to pay the ongoing bills to maintain the househol
That's the first thing I thought about too. It's not unusual at all for people in the manic state of bi polar to wipe out savings and checking accounts in a single day. You know you won't let her go without what she needs if she comes to you, but she may not be thinking clearly enough to make sure the same is true of you, Evan, and Kayla. I think if it were me, I'd ensure that the money was protected and when she needs something badly enough, she'll come to you. Otherwise, you may end up with nothing for anyone.
quote:
She has made the choice to leave. I don't think you should be expected to subsidize that.
I completely agree with that.
Praying for you today...for guidance and wisdom and above all, God's peace.
_____________________________
All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided...great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 11:09:34 AM
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karlie
Posts: 16953
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From: Central California
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quote:
I had a really hard time getting Brian's name off of stuff when he left me, and I was the only one working too.
It will probably require closing the account and setting up another if the laws are like ours. I know for sure that it only takes one party to close an account(I've done it several times when we've changed banks), but keeping it open and just removing the other party is a lot more difficult if not impossible without a court order. When my bother faced a similar situation a couple of years ago, he had to close the existing one and open a new one because they couldn't just take her name off. She was also mentally unstable, but the bank said they needed a court document making making him sole custodian of the account before they could take her off. It was faster, easier and a lot cheaper for him to just close it and open another.
_____________________________
All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided...great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 11:24:37 AM
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MarshaBlake
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If nothing else, you could withdraw money you need for bills and other living expenses, pay with cash or money orders. Of course, I'm assuming you don't have oodles, but even so, you could open an account with just your name, to make sure your bills get paid and the family eats. After getting us in trouble, Don did let me manage our money.
_____________________________
You're as beautiful as you feel--
Carol King
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 11:35:08 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 5127
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I'm with the others on blocking Lynn's access to the bank account. Even if she hadn't run away, in the manic stage she could still empty your account in a day. You have to protect all of you. And she needs to face the consequences of her behaviour.
{{{{{{{{{Ben}}}}}}}}}
_____________________________
Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 12:06:16 PM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 10977
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That was a truly wonderful prayer SharonMarie. Thank you.
I called in the bank card as lost. But really all that did was buy some time. She can order a new one with a phone call.
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 12:28:38 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 5127
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Will she get into trouble when she tries to use the one she has?
_____________________________
Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 12:30:50 PM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 10977
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From: Lone Star State
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I don't know. A store would just deny the purchase. I don't know what would happen at a restaurant.
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 1:20:12 PM
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cherish405
Posts: 32302
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From: The Land Down Under
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(((((((((((((((((BEN, LYNN, EVAN & KAYLA)))))))))))))))))))
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*** Gone crazy. Back soon. ***
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 1:39:51 PM
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bride48
Posts: 5535
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From: Near Boston
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I liked the idea of closing the account and starting a new one. Yes, it's tough love, but it could be the best thing for Lynn. And certainly for you, Evan and Kayla! Heaven knows, you have enough on your plate without her wiping you out financially!
_____________________________
Joyfully,
DebbieLynne
And Paul Smith Is Such A Non-Descript Name... (my latest blog entry)
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 2:26:18 PM
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cherish405
Posts: 32302
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From: The Land Down Under
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I think the idea of a new account would be a good one too. The idea of the bank account being spent whilst she's in a manic state is not good.
_____________________________
*** Gone crazy. Back soon. ***
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 3:39:11 PM
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phosadaud
Posts: 10531
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From: Washington State
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Sometimes I just wish I could offer more than words and prayers...
((((Ben))))
_____________________________
~Kristin~
Resume Quotations: "Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 6:12:43 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 5127
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Me too, Kristin.
_____________________________
Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 6:25:34 PM
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groom52
Posts: 345
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Ben, I grieve for you and Evan and Kayla and even for Lynn who in time i hope will herself grieve greatly for what she's done.
I am in agreement with the need to financially protect you, Evan and Kayla. A new bank account with just your name on it into which direct deposits and other deposits are made. Whether you close the other one or only leave enough in it that you choose to provide Lynn is up to you. You know her best and in prayer need to seek to determine if she should have access to a limited bank account or come to you for any funds you are willing to give her.
Whether you give her any finances or not has to be your decision. Deb and I will pray for God to comfort you through all this pain, and that He will help you with the difficult decisions you need to make.
_____________________________
John (groom52), the very happy hubby of Deb (bride48)
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 6:26:07 PM
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bride48
Posts: 5535
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From: Near Boston
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I think we all do, Maggie! This whole thing is terrible, and we want to fix it for Ben. But we can't, and so we feel helpless.
Ben, are you taking care of yourself? Please do. Kayla needs you!
_____________________________
Joyfully,
DebbieLynne
And Paul Smith Is Such A Non-Descript Name... (my latest blog entry)
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 10:05:45 PM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 10977
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
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Yes, I'm taking care of myself. I'm tired though....
I need to tell y'all that your words of comfort and advice along with prayer are more than enough. No, no one here can fix it, and even I can't fix it. I learned back in the other seperation all those years ago that it is God who is the Healer and the One to do the fixing. That is what I count on and hope that in your love for His own who are hurting that you trust in that also.
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 4/29/2008 10:21:56 PM
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kimberlysfrog
Posts: 1599
Joined: 2/28/2005
From: Northern California
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{{{{{{{Ben}}}}}}} I'll be praying for you
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