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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/1/2008 4:22:22 PM
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MarshaBlake
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Aaaaaaaa-men. Bro'.
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Carol King
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/1/2008 4:31:04 PM
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bride48
Posts: 5330
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From: Near Boston
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Has Lynn called lately?
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Joyfully,
DebbieLynne
Dancing, Sam Malone, Arthur Fiedler and a Willow (blog entry)
<--Taken on August 24, 2008: our 6th anniversary
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/1/2008 7:29:37 PM
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specky
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(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Ben))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Praying for you all!!! So sorry to "hear" about this.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/1/2008 7:36:40 PM
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stamper_ben
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From: Lone Star State
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She was the polar opposite last night from the talk with her in the morning. Like she had resigned herself to having hepatitis and was going to stay with him through anything. I was telling her the info I found out about his criminal record that she had asked about and she gave the phone to him. Of course I have nothing to say to him, and when he went to give the phone back to her she told him to hang it up. Then when her best friend from Calif called and told her she didn't agree with her that what she was doing was right she hung up on her. i just informed her brother today what is going on and he is going to call her tonight and offer his place as somewhere to go if she won't come back home. Without the guy of course. I have a feeling he is going to hear the hang up click too.
So, things aren't looking as promising as they were yesterday morning.
Now comes a dilemma that I need advice about. Lynn told Kayla that she and John were going to come pick her up sometime this weekend and go do something with her. Do I allow it? Do I agree if it is only Lynn alone and they stay here at the house? I don't want a scene here in front of Kayla. What should I do?
I also called her new psychiatrist to tell him that she was off the meds and had moved out with the guy from the psych unit and at this point was likely to miss her next appointment next week. Left a message for him actually and told the receptionist that I didn't know if he would have a policy to call a patient in a case like this but I hoped he would. He'll probably get hung up on too...
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We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/1/2008 8:05:35 PM
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karlie
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From: Central California
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quote:
Now comes a dilemma that I need advice about. Lynn told Kayla that she and John were going to come pick her up sometime this weekend and go do something with her. Do I allow it? Do I agree if it is only Lynn alone and they stay here at the house? I don't want a scene here in front of Kayla. What should I do?
If it were me, I'd tell her she is welcome to come visit Kayla at your house, but her friend is not to come with her, and she can't take her from the house alone...without you or Evan. I don't think that's being unreasonable at all. Lynn is obviously not thinking clearly at all and I think allowing her to go someplace alone with Kayla could be risky in a lot of ways. I'm sure Lynn won't be happy about it, but it was her choice to leave Kayla, and consequences to bad choices are seldom fun.
((((Ben)))) Praying for you.
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You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/1/2008 8:09:43 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10265
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From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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I agree with Karlie. If she wants to see Kayla, she can do it at your house and without John. There is no reason to expose Kayla to this man, and I agree it may be dangerous at this point to allow Lynn to take Kayla anywhere.
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I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
~Psalm 57:9-10~
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/1/2008 8:12:28 PM
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2jsmom
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I agree with Karlie. Kayla's safety is too important to risk letting Lynn take her anywhere.
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Sue
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/1/2008 8:28:16 PM
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agapetos
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I agree with Karlie too, though I wouldn't let her take Kayla period.
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Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
My blog
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/1/2008 8:51:42 PM
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2jsmom
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From: The Midwest
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I don't know about custody issues with Kayla. You might need to see a lawyer to make sure that Lynn can't just take her whenever she wants.
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Sue
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/1/2008 8:57:12 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10265
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From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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I would say that since Lynn left and she is not mentally stable, Ben is well within his rights as guardian to not allow her to take her. You (Ben) may have to file court papers to that effect though, so checking with your lawyer is not a bad idea.
In the same kind of boat when Brian left, I did not allow him to take Noah anywhere. I let him see him whenever he wanted, at our house, and I would even go in the other room. Even when we went to court, the judge agreed with me that until Brian had stable housing and a home study done, the visits I was allowing were plenty. It does depend on the state and the judge though...
_____________________________
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
~Psalm 57:9-10~
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/1/2008 9:27:06 PM
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Darcyjo
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Got to agree with the previous posts. And seeing your lawyer so that Kayla can't be taken against your will may end up being very important.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/1/2008 9:30:16 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26538
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From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
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I agree with Karlie.
Ben, I am so truly and deeply sorry for what you're going through. You remain very much in my prayers.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/1/2008 10:15:28 PM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 10855
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She called to talk to me about it. I told her that he is not allowed here and I would have him arrested for trespassing if he set foot on the property. She still insisted that they were taking her to McD's either Sat or Sun and she'll call tomorrow to know which day.
If she wants to go to McD's then I guess we'll all be going. You're right Karlie, it was her choice to leave and she's got to face the music.
I tried contacting the lawyer in Calif that we had, but he says there is a conflict of interest since he represented both of us. I'm not worried that Lynn wants custody, she was even telling Kayla that she would probably end up living there before too long anyway.  One of my concerns was since guardianship was granted to the TWO of us, now that there is only one of us what does that do to it? The lawyer wanted us to sign a waiver but when I responded asking what the wording would be so I could type it out he hasn't written back. I'll check tomorrow and see if there is any cheap or free resource here that I could tap.
I have a feeling that this isn't going to be over anytime soon, not even counting the fact that there will have to be a lot of work when (if?) she does come home...
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/1/2008 10:52:58 PM
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utilityfielder
Posts: 13068
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Home of the Champions
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Ben, I am sorry for what you are going thru.
I agree with Karlie and everyone else. Under no circumstances let Kayla be alone with them.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/1/2008 11:08:19 PM
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magdaleine
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I'm agreeing with everyone. I'd say Karlie is an expert on this since she works with abused kids. And I certainly wouldn't accompany Kayla to McDonald's to meet Lynn AND John. Why put yourself into that pain? It isn't reasonable. Also, I urge you to close your bank account and create a new one so that John, through Lynn, does not have access. {{{{{{{{{Ben}}}}}}}}}}
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Maggie
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/2/2008 8:20:28 AM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 10855
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From: Lone Star State
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I took care of the bank accounts. The AG deposits the child support payments into an account that is only in her name, so until I hire a lawyer there's nothing I can do about that.
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/2/2008 8:56:35 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10265
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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(((((((((((Ben))))))))))) Continuing to pray...clarity to Lynn's mind, repentance to her heart, and restoration to your marriage.
_____________________________
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
~Psalm 57:9-10~
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/2/2008 10:19:12 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4903
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{{{{{{{{{Ben}}}}}}}}
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Maggie
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/2/2008 11:55:46 AM
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rayofson
Posts: 8957
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(((((Ben)))))
Still prayin'.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/2/2008 4:09:39 PM
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bride48
Posts: 5330
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Near Boston
Status: online
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What a horrifying mess, Ben! You'd better get a good lawyer ASAP! This is very scarey, and you'll need to protect Kayla.
Meanwhile, please don't let her take Kayla out this weekend.
_____________________________
Joyfully,
DebbieLynne
Dancing, Sam Malone, Arthur Fiedler and a Willow (blog entry)
<--Taken on August 24, 2008: our 6th anniversary
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