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RE: When breast WASN'T best

 
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/20/2008 5:14:51 PM   
peculiar_lady2


Posts: 9790
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Emily...... ....BOY that really gets to me!!!!!! Stupid comments by STUPID people!!!!! (and yes, I said some people are STUPID!!!). I get comments about looking young too....but I am 30. I also get comments about having such a large family and associating that with "welfare"...one big reason I WILL NOT just take my kids to the store in just anything...I make sure they look nice, clothes match, etc. I don't have a problem with welfare for those that need it....or WIC for those that fit the requirements...if it is needed. We could probably get both (definitely could get WIC), but we choose not to because we can pay for things for our kids ourselves. However, we have worked very very hard to not be in debt...we may live paycheck to paycheck sometimes, but we are not in debt.
Tell ya what...next time you are out and something like that happens, give them my number and Sandy's number and we will burn new holes in their ears for you!!!!! THAT IS RUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Formula or not, breast or not, first or sixteenth child....that lady is just RUDE!!!!

however, having said that....I still stick to my own first post...you have to decide what YOU want to do, and get such a conviction to do that that stupidity doesn't ruin it for you. If you want to BF and bottle feed, then do it!!!! Don't let some stranger ruin that for you!!!! Believe me, that lady would feel pretty bad if she knew her comments could possibly cause a mother to stop feeding their child at all....not saying YOU would do that, but some other young mother might if they don't have support!!!! Unfortunately though, no matter what decision you make, someone will have a problem with it. If this is the precedence for your area then maybe it's time for you to "man up" (Ryanne's term...lol) and get some pre-chosen comments behind your belt so that when confronted like that you don't feel pushed over and abused....cause you don't need to feel that way just because you fed your child.

and again..... ...oh you just have NO CLUE how annoyed I am right now for you!!!!


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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/20/2008 7:07:10 PM   
Mrs.X


Posts: 2933
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
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I can picture Sarah practically breaking her mouse clicking on the angry faces.

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-Stina
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
Post #: 502
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/20/2008 8:24:02 PM   
PrincessDonna


Posts: 10305
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
People are rude, for sure. But the bigger issue is where we find our security...is it in what other people think of us? It shouldn't be.

I've had just as many dirty looks and comments for nursing in public, completely covered, as some of you have had for giving your baby a bottle. There's always going to be someone who doesn't agree with what you're doing, no matter what you do. You've got to gain enough confidence in yourself and your decisions that it doesn't even phase you when people who have no say in your life and decisions make their opinion know.


_____________________________

<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!!



He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
~Psalm 91:4~
Post #: 503
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/21/2008 6:47:55 AM   
manda59


Posts: 5997
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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
I've had just as many dirty looks and comments for nursing in public, completely covered, as some of you have had for giving your baby a bottle.

The difference though is that the dirty looks you've received from people are to do with their own discomfort, rather than passing judgement on your capability as a mother.
quote:


You've got to gain enough confidence in yourself and your decisions that it doesn't even phase you when people who have no say in your life and decisions make their opinion know.

Yes, that what we will all aim for.

But this thread is for supporting women where they are now.

Many of us didn't make a "decision" to bottle feed, or even if we did "decide", it was often where there was really not much choice, for a variety of reasons. Because of that, there is often a period of grieving for the loss of what we had hoped/wanted to do. It's not wrong to be down about it, not wrong to grieve for that. It's especially within that early period that insensitive and rude comments can hurt the most.

And even all the positive publicity about breastfeeding can sting: like breastfed babies are smarter, breastfed babies are healthier etc etc. For those of us who are grieving about things not going as we'd hoped, that can feel so condemning of us, as if we've relegated our babies to being not as healthy, not having such a high IQ etc. It can feel like we've failed them.

Yes in time we will all likely gain confidence in ourselves, as we see our babies smiling and thriving. But at the beginning it is hard, and it's totally fine to need to vent about it. And that's one reason why this thread is here.

_____________________________

"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
Post #: 504
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/21/2008 7:16:39 AM   
nicole6598

 

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Donna I liked what you said in your post. I think it was encouraging to both nursing mothers and those who bottle feed.

LOL Christina at the angry face comment.

Emily- I feel for you, that was really rude. Sarah has a good point about thinking of a response that you could give if you feel you have to, or just ignoring the narrow mindedness that some people choose to display. YOU know that you are a good mum and doing the right thing for your son. If you need or choose to bottle feed, then do it, if you want to do some breast some bottle, then do that too. Just remember that you are an awesome mum who is doing their best for their child and that like Sarah said some people are just stupid.

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Post #: 505
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/21/2008 8:13:30 AM   
PrincessDonna


Posts: 10305
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
quote:

Many of us didn't make a "decision" to bottle feed, or even if we did "decide", it was often where there was really not much choice, for a variety of reasons. Because of that, there is often a period of grieving for the loss of what we had hoped/wanted to do. It's not wrong to be down about it, not wrong to grieve for that. It's especially within that early period that insensitive and rude comments can hurt the most.

And even all the positive publicity about breastfeeding can sting: like breastfed babies are smarter, breastfed babies are healthier etc etc. For those of us who are grieving about things not going as we'd hoped, that can feel so condemning of us, as if we've relegated our babies to being not as healthy, not having such a high IQ etc. It can feel like we've failed them.

Yes in time we will all likely gain confidence in ourselves, as we see our babies smiling and thriving. But at the beginning it is hard, and it's totally fine to need to vent about it. And that's one reason why this thread is here.


Manda, I realize all of that. If you've read my previous posts in the thread, you'll know that I've been at both ends of the spectrum...having one that I really had no choice but to wean because I *had* to work at that time and pumping did not work for me, and having one that I nursed 2.5 years. I've been both places. And my kids are all pretty healthy and smart. The one with health issues have nothing to do with whether he nursed or not.

I still stand by my post. We, as moms, are never going to please everyone. We've got to be confident enough in ourselves and our decisions to ignore the naysayers. Easy? Sometimes no. But we've got to get there.


_____________________________

<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!!



He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
~Psalm 91:4~
Post #: 506
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/21/2008 8:44:28 AM   
Tea-Tea


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Emily, I'm so sorry that stupid person said that! (((((Emily))))))

Interestingly enough, I have never felt someone judge me for using formula. But I have felt judged for trying so hard to breastfeed and for still pumping. When I went to the breastfeeding doctor twice, I kept that information from most people in my life (including family members)because I didn't want to hear the negative comments that I was almost certain would come my way.

As for age...I'm 34 and feel a bit self conscious about having a young baby. Silly, I know.

_____________________________

~Tammy~

"If people can be taught to hate, they can be taught to love."
spoken by Betsie ten Boom in The Hiding Place
Post #: 507
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/21/2008 9:15:21 AM   
firefightermama


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Joined: 10/24/2006
From: Canada
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Emily, that's so rude! I would have just about exploded!

I used to feel guilty mixing a bottle or buying formula. I just don't care now. It took some time, but I got there.


Question:

A lady at the grocery store told me yesterday that her Pediatrician told her that it's not necessary to buy the formula with the Omega's (DHA/AHA) That the babies don't really need it.
Anybody have any insights on that?

_____________________________

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How can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/21/2008 9:52:23 AM   
waiting2be_called


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quote:

ORIGINAL: firefightermama

Emily, that's so rude! I would have just about exploded!

I used to feel guilty mixing a bottle or buying formula. I just don't care now. It took some time, but I got there.


Question:

A lady at the grocery store told me yesterday that her Pediatrician told her that it's not necessary to buy the formula with the Omega's (DHA/AHA) That the babies don't really need it.
Anybody have any insights on that?


My public health nurse told me the same thing at Zaphyn's last weight check. She told me that additives in the formula, such as the Omegas, aren't necessary until they begin to consume solids (when they are eating more). She also mentioned that the amount of Omegas in each formula serving is so small that it really doesn't add very much. Now, that's just what I have been told from one nurse though, and I was questioning that too.

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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/21/2008 10:29:15 AM   
manda59


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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: waiting2be_called
My public health nurse told me the same thing at Zaphyn's last weight check. She told me that additives in the formula, such as the Omegas, aren't necessary until they begin to consume solids (when they are eating more). She also mentioned that the amount of Omegas in each formula serving is so small that it really doesn't add very much. Now, that's just what I have been told from one nurse though, and I was questioning that too.



I have to smile; when I had my two, no-one had even heard of Omega wotsits, let alone putting them in formula, and our babies turned out just fine.

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"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/21/2008 11:11:28 AM   
Mrs.Wifey


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quote:

A lady at the grocery store told me yesterday that her Pediatrician told her that it's not necessary to buy the formula with the Omega's (DHA/AHA) That the babies don't really need it.
Anybody have any insights on that?


Can you buy formula without them? Here pretty much everything has it already "added" and it doesn't make much of a price difference. They don't really make much of a difference to me, but I do think they are an important part of our diet that we often don't consume enough of, so we will give Gabby an omega supplement since she won't eat fish.

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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/21/2008 12:01:12 PM   
firefightermama


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Joined: 10/24/2006
From: Canada
Status: online
In the store brand variety, there is the omega-added stuff for $19.99 and the non-omega stuff is $12.99.


It doesn't really matter to me, since we're already on whole milk, but I was just curious, since I was thinking of switching to the $12.99 stuff because milk is so expensive.

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~yolanda~



"I wish I was a glow worm, cuz glow worms are never glum.
How can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum
Post #: 512
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/21/2008 12:35:22 PM   
Mrs.X


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From: Newberg, OR
Status: online
Wow, formula is cheaper than milk up there?

_____________________________

-Stina
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
Post #: 513
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/21/2008 1:24:50 PM   
firefightermama


Posts: 1378
Joined: 10/24/2006
From: Canada
Status: online
4L of whole milk is about $6

We go through two 4L bags a week, about $12. The non-omega store brand formula is $12.99 and lasts about a week....so not much difference.

_____________________________

~yolanda~



"I wish I was a glow worm, cuz glow worms are never glum.
How can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum
Post #: 514
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/21/2008 7:14:59 PM   
Mrs.X


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From: Newberg, OR
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That's a good deal for formula then. Plus he's getting a bunch of other good stuff that isn't in just cow's milk.

_____________________________

-Stina
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
Post #: 515
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/21/2008 8:33:36 PM   
PrincessDonna


Posts: 10305
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From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
Even when Noah was a baby, they didn't have the DHA/ARA formulas out, and he's only 8. He's pretty smart. If the extra cost is too much, I would not worry about it. If I had to buy formula for a baby, I would probably buy the regular kind that worked well for Noah. A well-rounded diet can make up for not having omegas in formula.

_____________________________

<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!!



He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
~Psalm 91:4~
Post #: 516
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/22/2008 10:16:33 AM   
EmilyAnn


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From: Thomasville, NC
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I read somewhere that the added DHA and ARA are bad. Someone on another site posted a link to an article by the cornucopia institute about it. Have any of you heard of them? I haven't even heard of them so I don't know if the article is worth believing or not.

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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/22/2008 10:33:45 AM   
KatMack


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After feeling convicted in another thread (don't you just hate that!) I've come back to publicly apologize. I derailed the intent of this thread the other day and let my temper get the best of me. I'm very sorry if my poor behavior upset anyone.

--Kat

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<-- My sweet blessings.

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Post #: 518
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/22/2008 11:22:27 AM   
Mrs.X


Posts: 2933
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From: Newberg, OR
Status: online
Emily, the DHA and AHA in formula does not come from breastmilk. It comes from seaweed. Supposedly the seawed is processed with a toxic chemical which can make some babies sick. Not sure how reliable the source is though.

_____________________________

-Stina
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/22/2008 3:02:19 PM   
LaurainAL


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatMack

After feeling convicted in another thread (don't you just hate that!) I've come back to publicly apologize. I derailed the intent of this thread the other day and let my temper get the best of me. I'm very sorry if my poor behavior upset anyone.

--Kat


Thanks, Kat.

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Life Trumps Choice
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/22/2008 4:50:23 PM   
IAMJulie


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Has anyone ever tried an Adiri bottle? I've tried a number of different bottles, Playtex, Avent and another I don't remember, with Gideon and he just can't seem to figure it out. This one is shaped more like a breast so I thought it would be worth a try.

Also, has anyone tried to introduce formula by mixing w/ breast milk? I thought I heard you could do this but wasn't sure how go about it, as in should I mix the formula then mix with milk etc? My other two babes just took formula without question. Gideon flat out rejects it.

I have just enough of a supply to keep up with Gideon's needs but not enough to pump extra for feeding. Since Rob was deployed I've had a number of ladies from church volunteer to rotate watching my kids once a week for a few hours. Unless I figure out a way for Gideon to take a bottle and formula I'll never get to leave all three of them. That's OK I guess but it would be nice to be able to do it now and then.

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Julie, wife to Rob, mom to son Gabriel (2/04), daughter Zion (10/06), and son Gideon born 4/28/08, dog Towzer, cats Spot, Benny and Maisy, and many, many fish. Check out my blog at www.wellblessed.blogspot.com :)
Post #: 521
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/22/2008 4:59:16 PM   
Mrs.Wifey


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The Adiri bottles are notorious for leaking. Have you tried the "Breastflow" ones?

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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/22/2008 5:16:56 PM   
IAMJulie


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No, I haven't tried that kind. I was looking for it when I found the other but it wasn't at the store I was at.

I wonder how they leak. You have to have them upside down to fill them I noticed so of course the nipple will leak but you can just put your finger over it (or it looks like having the cap on will work but I haven't tried it). Does it leak out the bottom too?

_____________________________

Julie, wife to Rob, mom to son Gabriel (2/04), daughter Zion (10/06), and son Gideon born 4/28/08, dog Towzer, cats Spot, Benny and Maisy, and many, many fish. Check out my blog at www.wellblessed.blogspot.com :)
Post #: 523
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/22/2008 5:24:37 PM   
IAMJulie


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OK, I just went to BRU to read the reviews and it does seem that people get irritated by it leaking out the nipple when you fill it (which seems like a real "duh" problem to me - just cover with your finger like I said) and out the bottom when it doesn't get screwed on properly. But I fed Zion with the Playtex VentAirs and those are terrible!!! If I can live with those because it was all she would take I'm sure I can live with this one - IF he'll take it. *crossing my fingers*

_____________________________

Julie, wife to Rob, mom to son Gabriel (2/04), daughter Zion (10/06), and son Gideon born 4/28/08, dog Towzer, cats Spot, Benny and Maisy, and many, many fish. Check out my blog at www.wellblessed.blogspot.com :)
Post #: 524
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 8/22/2008 5:30:23 PM   
Tea-Tea


Posts: 590
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From: Mr. Sippi
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Julie, the first pediatrician we used said you could mix breastmilk with formula. I don't think it really matters how you go about it. I only did it a few times so I don't remember how I did it. I would probably mix the formula then add the breastmilk to it or add the mixed formula to the breastmilk. I ended up deciding not to do that since she wouldn't finish the whole bottle a lot of times and I didn't want to waste the breastmilk. But for you, it would be worth a try! I'm glad you can keep up with his needs, that's wonderful!!!

I'll have to look at those bottles...I never knew either existed!

_____________________________

~Tammy~

"If people can be taught to hate, they can be taught to love."
spoken by Betsie ten Boom in The Hiding Place
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