What do YOU truly want (Full Version)

All Forums >> [People] >> Singles



Message

Mrs.Dawgfan -> What do YOU truly want (12/3/2007 3:08:50 PM)

Shaloha all!

I've seen many discussions over the years here about what men and women want, who's more realistic, etc... But I thought it would be a nice discussion to talk about what YOU want within the context of a relationship. And what kinds of area do you feel growth is necessary? I am not talking about what kind of person you want but rather what you want in a relationship. For example, one thing I truly do want is to develop a good sense of responsibility for myself...having someone to care (be a helpmate so-to-speak) and I also want to be in a relationship in which there is mutual respect for one another.

So...what kinds of things do you want in a relationship? [:)]



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/3/2007 4:37:11 PM)

Great idea for a thread!!

I want much of the same as you - to have someone to care, to be a help-mate, a best friend. Someone who can know me, and love me anyway... and I him. But in this relationship, we still maintain our individuality so there's always something to learn about each other.

I'm sure as I think about this more, I'll have more to add.



PreserveWildlife -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/3/2007 4:41:50 PM)

I'm not sure what I want or need. And this is one of the things that holds me back.



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/3/2007 4:44:28 PM)

I want to share the good times and I want to pray and laugh with someone through the bad times.



BugLady -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/3/2007 5:08:29 PM)

I want to know who that nice looking man in the red car license number ####### was!? And why was he looking at me like that? I also want to know who highlighted my book, darn it!

I want to be valued and taken seriously. I want to be heard. I want to be a teammate. I want to be the woman he turns to when he needs advice and support. I want to be the go-to-gal for my very own go-to-guy. [;)]

If I can't have that, I'll take a new car. Mine's apparently too visible. [>:]



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/3/2007 5:12:35 PM)

quote:

I want to know who that nice looking man in the red car license number ####### was!?


ROFLMHO!!! [:D]



BugLady -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/3/2007 5:16:31 PM)

I think he was a government spy. He had that "I've got my eye on you." kinda thing goin' on. Otherwise he would have asked me out, right? [8D][;)]



joy2give2u -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/3/2007 5:36:47 PM)

I want to be able to share things God tells me with excitement and passion.

For Him to see Christ in me as much as I see Christ in him.........

To have someone who will stand in agreement with me even when he doesn't really get what I am saying because he knows me so well he has faith God is talking to me.........in return I want to be the type of wife who trust my husband's relationship with God enough to act in submission to his decisions even if it doesn't seem to make sense to me.

I want a relationship which fosters and encourages an intimacy with God.

My strongest desire is a relationship were praying together is as intimate as making love........were we are in bed praying in one accord, our hearts open to pray wherever the Lord leads, when we begin to express physically(making love) the oneness we are experiencing in prayer and continual praying as we hold each other after becoming one.



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/3/2007 9:09:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BugLady

I want to be the go-to-gal for my very own go-to-guy.

Oh! I like the sound of that![;)][:D]



utilityfielder -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/3/2007 9:16:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: D200

I'm not sure what I want or need. And this is one of the things that holds me back.



I know exactly what you mean. I think I am the same way.



makarizo -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/3/2007 9:31:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: D200

I'm not sure what I want or need. And this is one of the things that holds me back.

I know exactly what I want, and need, and I could never settle for anything less., and THAT is one of the things that holds me back!!



tsiyi -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/3/2007 9:33:08 PM)

quote:

I'm not sure what I want or need. And this is one of the things that holds me back.


No my friend, it's not holding you back. This feeling is the threshold of truly discovering.



tsiyi -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/3/2007 9:36:06 PM)

quote:

I know exactly what I want, and need, and I could never settle for anything less., and THAT is one of the things that holds me back!!


You want something that pleases you, how profound.



believeinhim2 -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/3/2007 11:13:47 PM)

I have beenn thinking about this question since i saw this thread earlier today. I think that this is my problem as well.
quote:

ORIGINAL: D200

I'm not sure what I want or need. And this is one of the things that holds me back.


Through trial and error i think i have discovered what i don't want. I have discovered my own vulnerabilities and the things i have to be careful of but i haven't really figured out what i want.
There was a time i could have answered that question without a second thought. Now not so much. I am praying daily for God to reveal to me not so much what i want but what i need and what HE wants for me. I hope that made sense.



SaranadeMe -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/4/2007 2:43:49 AM)

Someone striving to be someone they would want to marry themselves.

Someone who is looking to be what God wants them to be.

Someone who is striving to be strong and faithful.

Someone who isn't afraid of hard work for great reward.

Someone who is going to be a friend to me, as much as I am to him.

Someone who will join forces with me in bringing prayers before the altars of heaven.

Someone who can laugh so hard they cry.

Someone who can shed tears of joy and sorrow.

Someone who is happy to see me with or without makeup.

Someone to whom I can give my heart with Jesus' permission.



Mrs.Dawgfan -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/4/2007 3:56:23 AM)

Incredible answers! So how about the second part to the question, what, in those areas do you feel you need growth in? What would help you to be in the kind of relationship you want?



ajlewis -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/4/2007 6:08:36 AM)

quote:

what kinds of things do you want in a relationship?
My first thought is what does it matter what I want???...

My second thought is simply help...then maybe loyalty or commitment



makarizo -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/4/2007 7:36:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Above_All

What would help you to be in the kind of relationship you want?

faith, and lots of it!!



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/4/2007 7:51:12 AM)

quote:

So how about the second part to the question, what, in those areas do you feel you need growth in? What would help you to be in the kind of relationship you want?

I'm going to be a bit vulnerable here and say... trust. It's easy to keep relationships at the surface level, but going to that deep level of intimacy can be a bit scary for those of us who have been hurt in the past. Believe me, I work on this constantly and have made great strides, but each new relationship takes its own set of skills.



believeinhim2 -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/4/2007 7:58:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy

quote:

So how about the second part to the question, what, in those areas do you feel you need growth in? What would help you to be in the kind of relationship you want?

I'm going to be a bit vulnerable here and say... trust. It's easy to keep relationships at the surface level, but going to that deep level of intimacy can be a bit scary for those of us who have been hurt in the past. Believe me, I work on this constantly and have made great strides, but each new relationship takes its own set of skills.

I agree with this 100%. This is probably the area i struggle with most.



Focusing -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/4/2007 8:43:25 AM)

What do I truly want? My *wants* need to be in alignment with God's will. I've done it wrong in the past and I have no desire to go there again.

My desires are written in my Bible. They come through conversations with God during quiet time, when He reveals to me what He knows I need, and as I grow in Him these needs are clarified. Things that I feel should not be shared until an appropriate time in the relationship. Why? Because I don't want someone who would try to become something I want. He either fills that need or he doesn't, and God must be the guiding force.

What areas do I feel I need to grow in? Trust. Sharing my heart. Not being afraid to speak my deepest thoughts. Becoming vulnerable.


iow: go slow, seek God's input daily (several times a day if necessary), ask lots of questions and be willing to give lots of answers in any relationship that you feel has potential, don't be afraid to search your heart



tsiyi -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/4/2007 11:10:27 AM)

quote:

I know exactly what I want, and need, and I could never settle for anything less., and THAT is one of the things that holds me back!!


This line of thinking is the trap of a single. Notice the self is referenced 4 times in one sentence. This is really saying that you are looking for - - well, YOU.

What's the saying, there is no "I" in team. The phrase doesn't really apply here, but some similiarity.

quote:

Someone striving to be someone they would want to marry themselves.


Trap. Same as above. Who wants to marry themselves? <Unknowingly lots of people>
Think about trying to make yourself marriage worthy based on thoughts in your OWN mind? Making yourself marriage worthy for yourself serves what purpose? None.

If a person has God in their life, they have everything, right? Instead of dwelling on a void that our mind creates (we're naked), let us assume that we don't want or need anything. Can we walk with total trust and confidence in God. What would that feel like? Real good. Those looking for trust and other things for God to reveal, have you revealed everything to God? Yes, he knows, but have you revealed it?



Focusing -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/4/2007 11:34:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsiyi
This line of thinking is the trap of a single.

Trap.
Making yourself marriage worthy for yourself serves what purpose? None.

Let us assume that we don't want or need anything. Can we walk with total trust and confidence in God. What would that feel like? Real good. Those looking for trust and other things for God to reveal


The question of the OP is "What do YOU truly want"? It is not come in and cut others down for stating their desires. The point of this singles forum is to help each other as singles in our Walk with the Lord. We are all coming from different places in life, different experiences, different wants, different needs.

God has our trust. I agree that yes, He does know our hearts. He knows them far better than we do. Our *problem* is we live in a fallen world. We are lost. That is why we have a Saviour. The problem we have with trust is with other people. Many of us have had trust ripped out from under us, and that type of betrayal is difficult to get past. It is hard to learn to trust another human again.

Trap. Yes. That's a good word! We are all trapped in these human bodies.......



John_O -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/4/2007 12:58:41 PM)

What do I want? Miranda Lambert. Or at least her similar looking older sister

Truthfully though I want my wife to be beautiful to me. I was married to a very beautiful woman and I don't think I could handle someone who wasn't equally attractive to me.

Now before people get their undies all knotted and yell at me for just going by looks let me say that M was very beautiful to me. It may be possible that someone out there may have thought she looked like Quasimodo but I don't care what they think. She was beautiful to me and my future wife will have to be beautiful to me.

I'd want her to think I was very handsome to her also.

Beyond looks I want my wife to desire children, to be a good mother to my child and our children and to see absolutely no difference between the two (that is, I want her to se my daughter as her daughter)

I want her to trust me, respect me, love me and listen to me.

I want her to be in love with God first and me second. If she loves God first then I will always be the most important solely human person in her life and she will treat me wonderfully. If she doesn't love God first then I'll just be holding on to smoke that could blow away at any time.

I want her to respect marriage and recognize that "Till death do us part" means exactly that.

I want her to treat me like a king and know that she will always be treated like a queen.

I want her to get used to being spoiled without becomming spoiled herself.

I want her to be able to stand on her own two feet if she absolutely has to but still needs me because she wants to.

I want to be able to spend an entire day with her without either one of us feeling that we need to talk to break the silence. I want her to be so comfortable with me that just being near each other is enough and that we don't have to speak.

I want her to know that even if I fall asleep when she's talking to me late at night that my heart is in the right place but the body just says no. (Spirit is willing but the flesh is tired)

I want her to let me make her feel good. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and as much as one person can for another, spiritually.

I want to be able to lose myself in her eyes and her smile.

I want her to love being near me. Very cuddly at times.

I want her to know when I need alone time.

I want her to be an active Christian (not just a pew sitter)


I need to study more. Lack of accountability coupled with an overwhelming workload has really messed with my study habits. By the time I have the time I no longer want to think about anything.

I need to be more patient (one can never be too patient)

I need to be more attentive, without hovering over her.

I need to learn better discernment.

I need to work on my sense of humor and learn/develop some more puns[:D]



John_O -> RE: What do YOU truly want (12/4/2007 1:17:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsiyi

quote:

I know exactly what I want, and need, and I could never settle for anything less., and THAT is one of the things that holds me back!!


This line of thinking is the trap of a single. Notice the self is referenced 4 times in one sentence. This is really saying that you are looking for - - well, YOU.


No. he's looking for what he wants. Do you think it would be better if he settled for someone he didn't want and then spent the rest of his life resenting her for not being what he wanted?


quote:

What's the saying, there is no "I" in team. The phrase doesn't really apply here, but some similiarity.


No similarity at all. When choosing sides you pick who will be on your team. We're talking about who we'd choose here. There isn't even a team yet. (that happens after the wedding.)

quote:

quote:

Someone striving to be someone they would want to marry themselves.


Trap. Same as above. Who wants to marry themselves? <Unknowingly lots of people>
Think about trying to make yourself marriage worthy based on thoughts in your OWN mind? Making yourself marriage worthy for yourself serves what purpose? None.


You totally missed the meaning of this. If I want to marry someone who is fit, I had better be fit. If I want to marry someone who is a non-drinker, then I had best not hang out in the bar all night every night. If I want to marry someone who has a strong walk with God,I had better be working on my walk. Opposites may attact but similars make the best marriages.

We all need to try to be the best we can be. Who do you want to marry, soemone trying to be the best or someone settling for being mediocre?

quote:

If a person has God in their life, they have everything, right?


Wrong. You can have a wonderfully intimate personal relationship with God and still be lacking what you need in your life.

God walked with Adam on a daily basis. They were as intimate as a perfect father and his favorite child could be. Yet GOD SAID "It is not good for man to be alone"

God designed us (most of us anyway) to be together with others like us.

quote:

Instead of dwelling on a void that our mind creates (we're naked), let us assume that we don't want or need anything.


Denial is more than just a river in Eqypt I guess. You can be full of God, and in intimate communion with him, but without food and water you'd still die.


quote:

Can we walk with total trust and confidence in God.


Sure we can. And all the while still admitting that we need/desire a spouse. The two are not exclusive.

quote:

What would that feel like? Real good.


yep.

quote:

Those looking for trust and other things for God to reveal, have you revealed everything to God? Yes, he knows, but have you revealed it?


Yep. I revealed I need a wife. [:D][:D]



Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>



Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.5 ANSI