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deermousie -> RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! (12/27/2007 7:01:16 PM)
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Oh, Mbgb, I'm so sorry. What an awful time for you, your heart pulled in two ways. quote:
ORIGINAL: mbgb Now, I have decided (with advice from others) to make sure we don't meet about separating everything without a lawyer. Excellent move. A husband is supposed to provide for his wife, but when things like this happen he often becomes adversarial and she needs someone in her corner to look after her legal needs to protect her interests. quote:
I also told him I no longer want to go to "our" house alone, and definitely not when he is there. Because 1)it's too hard and painful 2) I'm scared of what could happen. I don't believe he's just a horrible person, but I just don't know what I'm doing frankly, and I don't know what to expect. I like it that you are in touch with your feelings rather than denying how you feel, and that you're taking steps to set up boundries to protect yourself and your feelings. Keep it up. quote:
He called me 3 times today, and I didn't call him back once. I emailed him and asked him not to call me anymore, because I told him why several times before, and he should just get it. He gets it; he just doesn't want to do it. Build his calls out... change your phone number? quote:
It makes me confused and unsure of why I do anything at all concerning him. Anyway, I really think he has anger issues with his father's death (died same year as my mom...1983). If he still struggles 24 years later, he's going to probably keep struggling many more years. His anger issues may be a form of idolatry: "I want my way and will rage/get even with the universe until I get it because I'm more important than anyone else (including God who let it happen)." Take a look at what the Bible says: Proverbs 22: 24,25 and also see Proverbs 29:22. quote:
I'm just very confused, lonely, and lost, and I have a real desire to make my husband feel better, but that just turns everything upside down if I give in again, we need a real change to happen...a miracle probably. Bless you, it would be expected. You got married and expected to have a marriage, not a boxing ring. You have given your heart to him, which is appropriate for a marriage. What a tough time for you. I'm really glad to see you holding the line, because he is probably hoping you'll give in and come back under his conditions. The way wife-beaters often work, is that first hit was to see if you'd leave or accept it as part of marriage. For women who cave in, the man may see that he can get away with this and it can escalate from there and gets worse and worse. quote:
I was just revealed to today that I need to work on finding forgiveness for my own sins...a lot of them, and that I had no business dealing with my husband right now. Just because you have sins to deal with doesn't mean you shouldn't get off the tracks when a train is coming. You probably should deal with him now, if in no other way to come back in a year and see if anything has changed (his words don't count, only sustained actions). You guys are married, he is abusive, you have sins (like the rest of us) and he has grossly violated Scripture that says for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself (to death) for her (Eph. 5: 25). If he is not a Christian, then he has no clue what God intends for your marriage and is in slavery to his own sin. Your best bet is, as you have been doing, pray for his salvation, and maintain your boundries. If he says he's become a Christian, let him walk with the Lord at least a year before you take him back. Talk is cheap, and wife beaters are often manipulating liars. Take a look at 1 Cor. 7: 13-16, too. I am praying for you, dear sister in the Lord. Keep on keeping on, seek God's face, and let Him bring you comfort. (((hugs)))
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