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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/12/2008 10:14:31 PM
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mbgb
Posts: 245
Joined: 12/18/2007
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Hi all.
I just wanted to post and say that today has been a tough day and any prayers would be appreciated. Rob threatened me with separation again this weekend, and I stayed calm, and then of course the next day he called apologizing. I just pray that God can help us break through to something good soon. I am having a really hard time worrying about things. I just get so mad when I re-think about everything that's happened, but at the same time, I'll think about the sweet things. Please pray for God's comfort to come over me, and if He wants me to wait forever, I will wait, and want to do God's will more than anything. But some days I'm not so strong. Just please pray for me to have strength, and any kind of guidance God would want to offer me. Please pray that God offers us some kind of solution very soon, that lets me (and Rob if God is willing to show him) know that things are moving and God is working with us so that we can bring glory to His name, and that God is not just standing back. I know He is not, and doesn't really do that but sometimes I just need some re-assurance that I am still in His favor, and I am His child that He cares about.
On the Earthly side, I do get lonely and I think about hugs and kisses, but if God doesn't want me to have it, then I want to not want it. I hope that makes sense.
Please just pray for me if you can. Thanks everyone. I feel bad asking for prayers for myself. But just think about how far I've come since this all began! God has really shown me that I wasn't actually prepared to be a suiting wife at the time. The way I was doing things weren't how He would have me do them. And I definitely wasn't viewing things through honest eyes. Now God has shown me the truth, and let me know that I am not completely responsible for our marriage problems. I am also growing up a little, and have learned how to be a responsible adult on my own somewhat. So this has actually been really good in many ways. God has also shown me how worthy I am of true love, not Earthly love, but God's kind of love. I am not worth getting hit for any reason, or worth getting blamed for things I did not do, by my husband anyway, by the rest of the world I know it's kind of unavoidable to be condemned sometimes, but your husband should be your refuge.
Just keep us in your prayers please. Thanks.
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/13/2008 12:09:34 AM
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TMeeks
Posts: 1364
Joined: 1/27/2007
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If I were to try to describe what I read it's a bit like being put into a giant eggbeater with everything swirling around in different directions. Everything is so complex. Where you are in your life. Where he is in his life. And, the total dysfunction that masquerades as a marriage.
I would urge you to RUN back to the counselor and stick with it for at least six months. And, I would cut my contact with your husband until he does the same thing.
This isn't about you changing a few things that he want you to change or him changing a few things that you want him to change. This is about fundamental issues that pre-date your marriage that need to be addressed individually.
The death of his dad and your mom probably have as much to do with this situation as anything. And, you have said you have childhood issues that are left unresolved. This isn't a good foundation for trying to work out marriage issues with two people who admittedly have anger issues. The fact that you have also stated that you get angry at the counselor is all the more reason to go back and make a longterm commitment to see it through. Counseling can be very emotionally draining because we are forced to deal with things we don't want to deal with. But, look where things are now. Surely, you want better than that in your future. 
_____________________________
Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/13/2008 3:48:15 AM
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4IMPersuaded
Posts: 390
Joined: 11/17/2007
From: Florence, KY
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I'd have to agree with TM-- I feel for you as you are going through such a tremendously lonely time. It is easy to return to the dysfunction that you know, but you have the opportunity to break this cycle! We are rooting for you and praying for you! But you need to get back into counseling. You cannot just blindly tough this one out-- you need someone to call you on your dysfuntional patterns-- dear one it isn't your fault, but you don't want to keep reliving the same mistakes.
You are loved by the Creator of the Universe and His plan doesn't include your misery. Embrace that and seek Godly counsel, okay?
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/13/2008 9:21:33 AM
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mbgb
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Thanks. I appreciate what y'all are saying...but I am not going to counseling right now. I'm sure you're all frustrated, and don't understand why, but the problem is not with me. I wish more than anything that you would pray for me. Don't pray for my marriage to be restored, but pray for God to take this burden because I can't fight it anymore. Besides, don't you know that God is the best Counselor? I've learned much more by sitting at home with Him than what my counselor ever told me. She always told me what I already know. And if I already know it, the problem probably isn't with me because I'm actively using the knowledge. The thing is, that in counseling, I was blinded back then by my husband's actions, trying to justify it myself, when the fact of the matter is that he has got to start taking responsibility for his actions, PERIOD. I don't know if y'all believe me, but I don't really care because I know. I've worked with myself through God since I was 5, and WE are okay. I had to work with Him through this situation, and He finally revealed to me that I have to take a back seat and He has to work with Rob...I'm done fixing myself. I'm fixed as much as I can be right now. No matter what anyone else tells me at this moment, it's just going to set me back even further. And not in a good way. It's like when you study for an exam so much, and then you keep studying more than necessary, eventually it just sets you back. I have all the information I need at this moment in time.
So thanks for your concern, and I hope that clears some things up...but I need your prayers more than anything right now. That's all I ask of you. Thank you!
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/13/2008 10:38:07 AM
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Sadey
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Bless your heart, you are really struggling aren't you? Please Please get back into counseling. I know its exhausting for you but it will be so much harder on you to keep up this craziness of going around and around in circles. At least with couseling you have a chance to stop all this and have a good stable life. It is very hard work to change our thoughts and how we react to things but you have come so far please don't stop now, when you are close to a breakthrough. Of course breakthroughs are scarcy and we are someitmes comfortable with our messes and don't want to have to do anything different. But God has been so faithful to you and I know he will continue with guiding and directing you.
God bless you
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/13/2008 10:37:46 PM
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TMeeks
Posts: 1364
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mbgb
Thanks. I appreciate what y'all are saying...but I am not going to counseling right now. I'm sure you're all frustrated, and don't understand why, but the problem is not with me. I wish more than anything that you would pray for me. Don't pray for my marriage to be restored, but pray for God to take this burden because I can't fight it anymore. Besides, don't you know that God is the best Counselor?
Of course we know that, mbgb. But, in my 64 years of life I've seen far more divorces among my Christian family and friends than I ever wanted to see. And, there is one component that has been true in each of them. The party that wanted to learn from the failure of their marriage, and went to counseling alone, ended up finding happiness. Those that didn't, ended up either failing again or lived lonely lives.
We're not suggesting Christian counseling because God isn't big enough to completely heal you. We're making that suggestion becuase we sense the confusion and chaos you've been through. One of the reasons for suggesting a commitment of six months is that people often quit way too early... before the counselor has had time to organize and lead them into healing.
Years of observation has also led me to observe that those Christians that want to go it alone "with God" and who disparage counseling are often those that could benefit by it the most. God is the best counselor; but, we still have to be willing to completely listen to him. And, unfortunately, we can sometimes turn God off and listen to other voices when we are tossed about by chaos.
At the very least, please find a Godly older woman in your church with whom you can pray, grow and validate what you believe God is telling you.
_____________________________
Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/14/2008 9:13:31 AM
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mbgb
Posts: 245
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Thanks for the input. I did not realize that was the case, that many quit too early. I know I have quit before anything ever came from my counseling. I will do my best to get back into counseling. I am in school right now and hardly have time to breathe, but I just want you all to know that your kind words have been taken into consideration and I will see what I can do. God bless you...and I'll keep you updated. Thank you for the prayers!!! Happy Valentine's Day!!! 
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/14/2008 10:37:34 AM
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TMeeks
Posts: 1364
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mbgb
Thanks for the input. I did not realize that was the case, that many quit too early. I know I have quit before anything ever came from my counseling. I will do my best to get back into counseling. I am in school right now and hardly have time to breathe, but I just want you all to know that your kind words have been taken into consideration and I will see what I can do. God bless you...and I'll keep you updated. Thank you for the prayers!!! Happy Valentine's Day!!!
That's great!
My eyes went as big as saucers when I saw that you are also in school. You DO have a lot going on!!!
While counselors tend to see the similar types of relationship and developmental issues among their patients, every single person is an individual having nuances that need to be completely understood before being guided to recovery and healing. That takes time. So, a lot of people get discouraged because it seems they do all the talking or that the initial suggestions, etc. are so basic.
That's why it's best to go into counseling with a long term commitment. Each session is under an hour and spaced, generally, about a week apart. So, a bit of time is taken up by catching up and a bit of time is taken up by things that one might work on in the coming weeks. That leaves relatively little time for information gathering for the therapist. Back in the 70's I worked with a group of Psychiatrists that wanted to experiment with video taping the sessions so that they could review them because so much of their time was taken up by taking notes. I don't know how many still do that. But, information gathering is a critical part of therapy and a person seeking help needs to allow themselves enough sessions for that process to work itself out.
It might not take a full six months; but, there is no harm in at least making a commitment for that long. If cost is an issue, some of the later sessions might be in a group at a lower cost.
Even so, it might be better to finish this semester before heading back to therapy unless things really spiral out of control. And, then, do it for yourself. Don't do it to pile on your husband. Don't do it becuase you seek justification for your own decisions. Do it because you want to be a whole and healthy person emotionally and spiritually so that you can go FORWARD in your life without the past having control over you.
Lord, may you move powerfully and wonderfully in our sister's walk with You, so that each day she is right where you want her to be. Let her REST in Your deep, deep love and move in Your boundless grace each and every moment. May the past become a distant memory and the present and future be filled with peace and joy as Your Spirit surrounds her with your presence.
_____________________________
Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/14/2008 7:43:42 PM
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mbgb
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Thanks, TMeeks. I honestlyhad never heard of the fact that you need to go at least 6 months...so that's interesting because I always stop going after a while. And yes, I'm getting my Master's degree in Early Childhood Education. I'm taking 12 hours in school and I have a clinical where I have to get 50 hours in the real classroom by the end of the semester and I have to read 120 books by the end of the semester for my Children's LIt class, so yeah, I'm not just hanging out here. 
But I do love my counselor, and I will try to schedule something with her soon, we could do it on a FRiday because I don't have classes then. Cost is not an issue. My husband makes plenty of money and has always offered to pay for that. And frankly, at this point I don't care if he offered or not because I get so mad when I think about everything. I sent husband a Valentine's E-card today, and he sent me back a message saying he misses the "good times" and some other stuff. I emailed him back saying how much it means to hear him say sweet things...I got nothing in response. That's what KILLS me everytime. He just doesn't get the "give and take" aspect. Yes, Rob, I said something nice, now YOU say something nice. But I got nothing. And I'm left with nothing but an open heart and nothing to meet it halfway. It's just out there in space, waiting for that sweet "nothing" to be said. *sigh*. THe thing that gets me is Rob has always said he's a romantic. He is sometimes, but I am WAY more romantic than him, and have shown him several times...it's just frustrating.
Oh well, thanks for the prayer too, that was right on with what I've been praying anyway, just to be where God wants me, and for a little bit of comfort to soothe my breaking heart right now...not from the past, but just within the past few days, I just really wonder what all of this means and where it's going, and what God wants to do with my life.
Thanks, I'll keep everyone posted.
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/14/2008 8:34:54 PM
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TMeeks
Posts: 1364
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The past IS the last few days.
In fact, twenty minutes ago is "the past".
That is the wonderful thing about the love of Christ and the forgiveness of Christ. I blurt out something in anger in traffic, realize my sin, ask forgiveness and... not three minutes having gone by... and it's gone. It's history.
But, I know what you mean. It's not an easy thing for us to put the past behind us, whether distant or recent. Our brains just don't want to work that way. We're made to remember and the fall ensured that we remember negative things MUCH better than positive things.
Had the fall not occurred, all we would have is positive memories. That day is coming again when we are given new bodies. But, for now, all we have are these.
You're doing OK. Just keep at it.
_____________________________
Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/17/2008 6:40:55 AM
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4IMPersuaded
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mgbg-- you are going to be okay-- regardless of how this all turns out because you do have a personal relationship with the Almighty who says that he can satisfy all of our needs. I am so glad that you are going to talk with someone. I didn't come from a family that valued counseling, but I know that in your situation, sitting alone and mulling over everything will not lead you down a healthy path. You are doing the right thing.
Can I make one more suggestion? I know you want so badly to get someting out of DH that he is either not capable of giving or purposely whitholding. I'm not sure which, but I would cut down on the e-mail and other communication until you can get to that counselor. You are getting all twisted up inside and that isn't where God wants you to be. He wants you to have peace that passeth understanding. Wait on Him and He will be faithful to meet your needs-- even your emotional needs.
We are rooting for you, dear sister.
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/17/2008 8:12:55 AM
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Sadey
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Anothe reason for counseling is having someone objective to tell you if what is happening is as bad as we think. We tend to minimze our problems and what others do to us. I still remember a break through I had. I told my couselor what someone close to me had said to me and then I said that she didn't have a mean bone in her body. I was blaming myself for my hurt feelings. The couselor look at me reapeated what the person had said to me and then asked "And she doesn't have a mean bone in her body?" It was like a light bulb went off in my brain and my heart. I can't even remember what that person said to me, I do know it hurt me deeply but I do remem ber realizing that it did hurt and it was okay that it hurt. And that it would have hurt anyone's feelings not just mine. When I shared it with my daughter, she said Mom she says terrible things to you. Another lightbulb moment. It really helped set me free and I was then able to set some boundaries.
But I couldn't have figured that out on my own because the relationship was too strong for me to step back and look at it realisticially.
I think thats why it will be helpful for you. You need someone in your corner during this tough time.
You are a remarkable person to be going through this, and doing everything at school too. Good for you
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/22/2008 9:03:35 PM
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mbgb
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Hey all.
I just felt like posting I guess. I'm just a little down. I'm beginning to realize that Rob just isn't ever going to feel about me the way I would like for him to. I asked him today if he's ever cried about his love for me and he said it was only because he was hurting so bad. He tries to get off the phone with me, doesn't seem to bond with me at all. Just pray for us. I know it's God's will whatever happens. And I'm ready to accept us splitting if that's what God wants. I just wish Rob knew what real love was. I do. I wish it was with me, but I'm afraid it is not. :( Please pray for us. Pray whatever it is God wants you to pray when you ask Him. Thanks.
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/25/2008 12:31:36 AM
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4IMPersuaded
Posts: 390
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From: Florence, KY
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I wish I could tell you what God wants in this case, but I can tell you this-- He loves you and hurts when you hurt. His love in unconditional and He will get you through this. I know you would prefer to not have to endure this heartbreak, but do not lose sight of your God who delights in you and does want what is best for you. Do keep praying and he will supply you with enough grace for each new day. That is a promise and He is faithful.
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/25/2008 2:27:44 PM
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mbgb
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Thank you everyone. 4IMpersuaded, your encouraging words have come at a very good time. Today is one of those days where God has filled me with His love and comfort. I am feeling the breeze on my arms, and the sun is more radiant today than usual. I know God is with me.
That being said...Rob and I have been talking quite well on the phone...and have an entire day planned together on Saturday. We are going shopping for him, then to the drag strip (yay...*sarcasm*). He made his own drag bike...and yes, we've been before. Sorry, it's just not my thing...but I figure it'd be something fun we could do together. Shopping is fun for me. :) and drag racing is fun for him. haha.
Anyway, please pray for God's protection, and for me to exude Godliness towards Rob, and for him to stay open to God all day. Also, just prayers in general...I still am completely confused about our relationship. Thanks so much for your continued prayers and concerns. I just know it is making a difference. Right before I logged on just now it hit me how far we've come during all of this, and how it absolutely would not be possible without God's wisdom and grace in my heart...thanks to the many prayers, and God's love for all of us. Thank you, and God bless you all.
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 2/25/2008 3:29:19 PM
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deermousie
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What a tough time. Has anyone recommended James Dobson's "Love Must Be Tough"? It's right up your alley.
I am praying for you guys. May God show Himself strong, save and grow up your husband and heal your marriage!
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 3/2/2008 6:56:31 PM
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mbgb
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Thank you everyone for the prayers. We had a pretty good day yesterday together. We had a rift at the beginning, but I rose above the mess, and Rob's reaction was exactly how I needed him to react, so maybe we are getting somewhere. I just want to do God's will, so if you can, just pray for God's will to be done, period. I don't want my own desires fogging up my ability to glorify my Lord in Heaven.
Also, my preacher came up to me today and said he wanted to talk to me next week...so please pray for that as well. I'm sure it's about my marriage, and he just wants to help, so I'm sure it'll only be a good thing, but just keep Rob and I in your prayers if it's not a problem. Thank you so much! God bless!
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 3/2/2008 7:29:03 PM
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Mama-o-6
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Dear mbgb, I just want to echo the recommendations to have ongoing counseling. Having been subjected to abuse does damage to us. I went through it for 18 years and after I got out, over four years ago, I started going to counseling. I went at least twice a month for about two and a half years, and still go once in awhile though time has not permitted it as much as I'd like lately.
If one doesn't have a comfortable relationship with their counselor, one should find a different counselor. We need to feel safe in order to really open up and talk about the pain.
Keeping the pain inside can be dangerous. I ended up with adrenal burnout because of what I went through. Thankfully a naturopath pointed me to supplements and advice to help me heal.
Have you heard of the book "How To Spot A Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved With Him"? You might want to check it out.
Take care. I'm praying for you.
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 3/13/2008 7:46:37 PM
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mbgb
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Hey all! I just wanted to post a PRAISE report. Yay! Those are good.
Rob and I have really been coming a long way. God is working miracles, and I just wanted to thank everyone for their prayers. God has shown me my own sins and how to act towards Rob, and how to become the kind of wife God wants me to be for Rob. Rob has also responded to my newfound kindness towards him. We talk now. We laugh, and it's not forced or fake. I am still not moving anywhere until God lets me know what to do, well, I will do my best to the best of my knowledge to do God's will anyway.
Please continue to pray. God is alive, and He is sooooo sooooo sooooo Good. He loves His children, and He loves me, and that's all that I need. No matter what happens. Thanks for your prayers. God bless!
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 3/29/2008 3:34:59 AM
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mbgb
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I just can't sleep. Here's an email I just sent my friend, and it proves how bad the devil wants my marriage.
It's actually 3am on Saturday morning, and I woke up and got online. I've been reeeeallly depressed today. Rob has basically told me it's hopeless, and I am always in limbo about knowing what our future holds. I never know if he will cancel plans (aka: the beach) on me because I am at his every whim. We can't "talk" so I just have to wait for him to share with me his feelings of the day which could be anything, truly. I really needed your email.
But I have had amazing rejuvenation. I know I haven't been praying as much as I had been in recent weeks. But today was especially hard. I've been trying and trying to hang out with Rob, and he tells me yesterday that he just doesn't know if he's ready to "cuddle and be sweet with me" because apparently I upset him last week. When in reality it was he who was rotten last week and I ended up leaving our house when we were supposed to hang out, which I think is what he is talking about....I never know which incident arises in his mind at what time. I'm constantly paying my debt for any one thing I have wronged him with at any one time. It doesn't necessarily have to coincide with a certain time schedule. And today, Rob told me he still loves me but he feels very hopeless, and said he was going to some girl from work's party because she's getting married next weekend or something. I don't doubt his fidelity ever, and I know this instance is something he and his work buddies are always doing, and honestly, at that place, the women are just like one of the men, so that's not my concern. It just hurts, because he of course told me he may or may not call me after he gets finished, and that if I had any other plans, I should just do those instead. (ouch!). It's the constant hurt that I receive. And the non-ability to solve the problem on my own because of our lack of communication abilities. I'm totally at his whim, and all I know to do right now is sit still, and wait for God to act, not even cursing at Rob when he does such rotten things as this. I am literally just submitting everything in me. I did call Rob tonight about 9pm, hoping to catch him between his work outting and probably another outting with his "better friends" I assume, but I got nothing. I never called back again, and he didn't call me. I didn't leave a message either, I just hung up. It's hard, because it's not like we're dating...we're married! This is my husband, and I obviously am not his best friend or first on his list or anywhere near the radar. It's just painful.
But then I realized what Satan is doing not only to me, but in my marriage. WOW. Look at how he is trying to lie to me and tell me that my husband doesn't love me. Look at what he's trying to do, harden my heart towards fighting for my marriage. I have felt hopeless today, discouraged, and ready to watch my marriage crumble. Then I read my daily Rejoice Marriage Ministries newsletter just now (I swear, that is my lifesaver)...which I haven't been reading as often as I should. It said the same thing about the devil telling me lies, and then it said, "I know it is easy to point fingers at your spouse, but what about your own frogs of despair, hopelessness, lack of faith, anger, unforgiveness or lack of commitment to praying and special time with the Lord daily? How many times has the Lord been trying to get your attention and you keep procrastinating or saying "tomorrow"?" And I know that is true. I have to work on myself more still. That has nothing to do with why Rob hasn't called me, but the newsletter also talked about Moses being a shepard for 40 years before he saw the burning bush and how God uses our times in the desert, lost and wandering, for good, and how precious that time was for Moses because he spent so much of it with God, and he didn't know God was preparing him for a greater mission.
The Devil has tried to convince me that my time in the desert is wasted, and that my prayers for my marriage have gone in vain. The devil tries to make me believe that I am doomed to a life of despair. And it reminds me once again just how hard the devil really does work in our lives, even when we do not know it. And the devil tries to convince me that God doesn't care, and that Rob is a hopeless case, and that there is a better man out there for me. The devil has tried to convince me that I married the wrong man, and that all of my friends are right that I shouldn't let my husband treat me "that way". Because God has been so good to me, I heard His call, and woke up and read my RMM Newsletter. And He knew I was laying in bed distressed. He knew I was so lost, and confused, and willing to give up. But He knows mine and His relationship, and He knew He could count on me to listen to His advice to get up, and to not let Satan tell me anymore extremely convincing lies.
I still do not know where my marriage is going. And the devil wants me to go ahead and consider it done. He would love for me to say, well, come November, it'll be a year since we've been separated, I may as well prepare myself for my divorce. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to prepare myself for the restoration of my marriage. The devil has revealed to me some very believable and deceitful lies. He thought I was some pansy that was going to listen to him. You just have no idea how bad he really is, until God allows you to see. He's all around us, and he is one evil S-O-B pardon my french. he's fighting so hard so so so hard. And I am God's child, and I am also God's servant, trying desperately to listen to his smallest voice, hearing His greatest blessings. I am God's, and not Satan's. And it is my responsibility to pray for my husband to become God's as well. Satan has convinced me that Rob is a lost cause and I should just move on. he's convinced me and the world that this marriage is hopeless. It is not. And now I remember I am not hopeless either.
God bless you, and I'll keep you updated.
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 3/29/2008 7:40:38 PM
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lewineric6
Posts: 3
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline
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I am truly sorry to here that you marriage is having issues. My wife and I suffered the same issues when we got married, we had talked about divorce twice and got into a litle physical fight once. The one thing that my wife and I learned is that we needed to communicate with eachother really ad. We sat down talked for a long time about what was going on and what we needed to do about it. Beofre we got married we had prmarital sex all of the time. She got pregnant and lost the baby. After we got married we both hated eachother real bad. Sometimes choices are made that at that time we think is ok, but in the end it turns out real bad. We began seeking advise from others around us because we were baffled about how to approach this issue. God revealed to us that we need to pray together and talk to eachother as much as possible. These were two main issues in both of our lives. I went to a promise keepers meeting in Fresno, CA in 2007 they taught me what it is like to be a man of integrity and how to apply all of that to my home life with children and my wife and to apply that in my daily life as well. My wife and I have come a long way in the last year. God restored our marriage and is still working in us. We talk as much as possible. We love to spend time together all of the time. We are verry much in love and it grows daily. We pray as much as we can. Now we are still having issues and we are working on them. The reason for sasying all of this is because I know how it feels to be in this position as well as I know that God can and will resotre marriages. Prayer and coomunication is the biggest key to marriage.
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 3/31/2008 11:08:52 PM
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keepingfaith
Posts: 653
Joined: 5/11/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
I still do not know where my marriage is going. And the devil wants me to go ahead and consider it done. He would love for me to say, well, come November, it'll be a year since we've been separated, I may as well prepare myself for my divorce. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to prepare myself for the restoration of my marriage. The devil has revealed to me some very believable and deceitful lies. He thought I was some pansy that was going to listen to him. You just have no idea how bad he really is, until God allows you to see. He's all around us, and he is one evil S-O-B pardon my french. he's fighting so hard so so so hard. And I am God's child, and I am also God's servant, trying desperately to listen to his smallest voice, hearing His greatest blessings. I am God's, and not Satan's. And it is my responsibility to pray for my husband to become God's as well. Satan has convinced me that Rob is a lost cause and I should just move on. he's convinced me and the world that this marriage is hopeless. It is not. And now I remember I am not hopeless either.
Yes sister this is the right attitude here... and you are right Satan is ALREADY defeated and you can claim victory!!! It is God's will to restore your marriage, sometimes He works in mysterious ways...but we can trust Him. The harder it is, the more powerful the testimony will be! All the more Glory for Him...
Hold on and keep claiming your marriage is healed! I will keep you in my prayers. Just stand on His promises Jer 29:11.
God Bless you
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 4/12/2008 6:24:13 PM
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mbgb
Posts: 245
Joined: 12/18/2007
Status: offline
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Hi everyone,
I just wanted to let you know that I will be moving back in with my husband. We had a long discussion yesterday and decided that's what we will be doing. I wanted to thank you all for your prayers, words of encouragement, and support. I know God has worked a miracle with us, and things have changed and ARE changing. This trial has been a real journey I never expected, and I just pray I can continue to do God's will and live as a witness and example of God's love. I pray I can be the wife God wants me to be and Robl needs me to be. I pray I can continue to honor and Glorify my Father in Heaven who has held my hand through this, and most importantly forgiven me for my sins. I cannot thank you enough for all of your prayers, because there is no doubt in my mind those are what have gotten me and us to this point, instead of planning our divorce right now. I know I still have a long and hard road ahead, but I know the path will be led by light this time, God willing. I hope to live a life that is pleasing to God from now on.
Thank you all. God bless you, and I'll keep you all posted!
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 4/12/2008 6:33:29 PM
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iSERVEaJEW
Posts: 445
Joined: 3/29/2008
From: Canada
Status: offline
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I'm really glad to read that you are moving back in with your husband! Wonderful!
Protect yourself. Love him after our Master's example (1 Peter). Leave him again IF you must, but don't give up hope for reconciliation! I haven't read all three pages, so I don't know if people have mentioned the following passages to you:
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 - These verses reflect the will of God for us.
1 Peter 3:1-6 - Wonderful advice for a woman in your situation.
Shabbat Shalom!
_____________________________
Saved by His grace alone.
Called to be His disciple and imitating Him.
Keeping the Torah with zeal.
http://www.journalof911studies.com/volume/200704/JonesWTC911SciMethod.pdf
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RE: on our way to divorce....please PRAY for us!!! - 4/20/2008 9:35:00 PM
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mbgb
Posts: 245
Joined: 12/18/2007
Status: offline
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Hi all.
I just wanted you to know I am moved back in with my husband. We had our first big fight today and it was much like old times. I ask for your continued prayers for us to do God's will...especially me since my husband does not believe. Whatever His will is, I want to be able to do it. Tonight, when we fought, I barely had enough strength to get up, but I knew I had to come to my computer to look for support, as this and another site have | | |
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