quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
It was Kristin's fault, Sam.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kerrlaw1

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ORIGINAL: phosadaud

Those patrol cars are pretty crowded, but I can't imagine being very comfortable sitting on the officer's lap... Added to that, I'm sure if I tried to crawl onto the officers lap while we were driving down the road, that I would probably learn first hand all about the booking process at the local jail...
Just guessing of course...

You really don't know many cops, do you?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissGizmo

Sam I just wanted to ask if you are going to work on the floors this week-end, or are you going to wait until Memorial Day week-end when you have an extra day?

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ORIGINAL: zmanfan38

What are they lifting the stove?

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ORIGINAL: JimboFletch

The other night my wife asked me where I came up with some answer and I just quipped, "From one of the voices in my head."

She looked at me strangely and asked, as if it were something odd, "You have voices in your head?"

"Yes. As a matter of fact, I have a whole choir of voices..."


"The anoying thing is that they ALL sing only the alto part!"


I'm sure I'm not the only one here with that problem. Right?

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ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings

Oh I dunno . . . I'm a square and believe me, I do plenty of rotating and spinning.

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ORIGINAL: Qtman

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ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings

Oh I dunno . . . I'm a square and believe me, I do plenty of rotating and spinning.

I would consider you to be more oblong.

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ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

HA!!! You two are so weird.

Thanks for the , Qtman.

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ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

HA!!! You two are so weird.

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ORIGINAL: Qtman

However in defense of the one that believes the earth sits still and does not rotate I think that is Biblical. It says in Revelations that in the end an angel will stand on all four corners of the world. Now we know a sphere does not have corners. Only square or retangular shaped objects have 4 corners. I don't think squares or retangles were designed to rotate nor spin.

quote:

One of my dad's co-workers makes some paranoid schizophrenics look smart. We live in Durango, Colorado, and there is a nearby National Monument called Mesa Verde, which is basically some old Native American cliff houses. Well, this guy thinks that Mesa Verde makes Area 51 look like a elementary school playground. He insists that the government is keeping hundreds of military aircraft in the reservation so that when Armageddon comes they can "Conquer the four corners" (the place where Colorado, Utah, Arizona, and New Mexico).

Y'all!!!!





This is a hilarious example of a stupid person
(text was bolded by me, for emphasis):

quote:

Added: May 20, 1997.
PHILADELPHIA, Pa. - A woman is suing the pharmacy that sold her a popular contraceptive jelly - because she ate the stuff on toast and got pregnant anyway.

And, incredibly, many legal experts are saying she's got an excellent chance of collecting!

"The woman is a complete idiot," said one attorney who asked that we not use his name. "How bright can you be if you think eating a vaginal gel will prevent conception?

"But certain aspects of the case involve truth in labeling and false advertising issues. She may not collect but she'll make a lot of noise and trouble. People are down on lawyers anyway. They think we waste time and money on frivolous lawsuits. This isn't going to help our public relations any."

A spokesman for the unnamed mom-and-pop drugstore says he's shocked and angry that such a case could ever be taken seriously. "All she has to do is open the box and read the directions," says the spokesman. "Next thing you know someone will come after us because they couldn't stick things together with their toothpaste.

"I can just imagine some moron saying: 'It's paste, isn't it? Why can't I glue these papers onto my bulletin board?'"

But attorneys for Mrs. Chyton say she was swindled and lied to by implication and they intend to make the pharmacy pay $500,000 for the hardship the woman will have to endure.

"It says right on it 'jelly,'" says Mrs. Chyton, a former model who was once a cheerleader for a popular professional basketball team.

"And they kept it on the shelf just two aisles from the food section. I know, now, that the directions say it should be used vaginally with a condom.

"But who has time to sit around reading directions these days - especially when you're sexually aroused?
(but, uhm, Mrs. Chyton, you found time to eat toast while being in such a state of arousal??!! )


"The company should call it something else and the pharmacy shouldn't sell it without telling each and every customer who buys it that eating it won't prevent you from getting pregnant."

As bizarre as it sounds, the pharmacy could wind up losing the lawsuit.

"It's hard for businesses to avoid troublesome lawsuits," said another attorney.

"With the courts bending over backwards to please consumer groups, the temper of the times is perfect for these crackpots to bring legal action against businesses - even a moronic legal action like this."