RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (Full Version)

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SweetLittleErin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/16/2008 2:59:41 PM)

HHmmm.....mental note: add lots of garlic! [:D]



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/16/2008 3:08:02 PM)

haha.. the only thing is that it was supposed to be raw... so that makes it a bit, um, strong. =)



SweetLittleErin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/16/2008 3:24:58 PM)

I put raw garlic in my guacamole! [:D]



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/16/2008 3:30:49 PM)

there ya go! Killing 2 birds with one stone... haha..

I can just see it now... "here's more guacamole honey... no, you don't need to feel guilty about eating it daily. "



purejoy -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/16/2008 6:51:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: not_the_first
I think it's because I am so used to planning ahead for things, and then I don't end up getting pregnant anyways...so I am just banking on the fact that I won't be pregnant.

That's the point I'm at right now too. I'm just planning on it not happening and not waiting around for it. Which makes my life less stressful. But I was just thinking, "I wonder what it would be like to be one of those people that wants to get pregnant, times it right, and gets pregnant." I have a close cousin who is like that...decides it's time to get pregnant and does. What a total different mindset!

quote:


I am at a time of peace right now, so I feel good about that. God has been reassuring me that His timing his good, even if I don't like it or don't like waiting. I've been hearing God remind me that He decides when we have a baby, not me - and I think I have been wrestling with that for a long time.

I'm feeling settled too. Although I usually go in cycles- pun intended. Towards the end of the two week wait I have to work a lot harder at letting God remind me to stay that way!



not_the_first -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/16/2008 10:20:54 PM)

I here ya purejoy....it's usually the week before and during my period that is really hard. I had a really hard time before the holidays too. It was our third Christmas thinking "maybe next Christmas we could have a baby on the way". The first was when we stopped taking BC, the second was after really TTC'ing for 6 months, and then this past Christmas we were at the 1.5 year mark of trying. For some reason, now that the holidays are over things are little easier.

I have so many friends who had no problems getting pregnant, in fact, I really don't know anyone who's had trouble with infertility. When we had our last girls get together they were like in shock at the thought of having to wait so long to conceive. Some even said that they don't think they could have handled it and don't know how I can even handle it so well. Great - that makes me feel better [8|]. Most of them have 2-3 kids already. I can't imagine what it's like not to have to wait long either - to actually want to be pregnant and then viola - you are! Thinking that I could actually get pregnant is not even in my radar anymore. It makes me a little sad thinking about it, but I honestly don't even anticipate it, or even hope for it to happen each cycle anymore.



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/17/2008 9:05:02 AM)

I can sort of relate. I remain skeptical even when others are saying "TAKE A TEST!!!" I remain in a place where I think... hmmm.. yeah... I guess I could, but I don't want to. I have a friend who took so many tests that she declared herself addicted to it, and told her husband not to let her buy any more tests. She couldn't understand why I didn't want to test all the time, if I even suspected my period being late. She also doesn't chart and all that, she just had a vague idea of when she needed to be careful to prevent, and so a vague idea of when she needed to really not be careful when she wanted to be pregnant. She got pregnant after 3 cycles. She was disappointed that it took so long.

She is a very very sweet friend, and I love her, but on this matter she just can't comprehend. She does pray for me though, and lets me talk about things with her. She's about at the 32 week mark now, I think. *sigh*

I had an interesting conversation yesterday with a different friend. She is frustrated/angry that some people can have babies so (seemingly) easily... even when they (sometimes) don't want to, and yet David and I have not been able to have a baby. She has 2, and actually her 2nd was born right around the time that I would have been due had I not had a miscarriage. He's about 5-6 months old now. I try not to think about that too much.

Anyway, this second friend is a personal trainer at the gym where I work in childcare. I have a free membership there, and she and I were talking yesterday... she would like to feel like she was doing something to help our situation. She's been praying, but she wants to do something more. She wants to, for free, be my personal trainer... to help me lose weight. Now, I could have taken things very differently, but I know where her heart is/was during the conversation, and while I did cry, I am grateful that she wants to help me in any way that she can. I have quite a bit of weight that I could/should/need to lose. She wants to work with me 1-2 days per week, and help me. She said that it would be good for her too, because she doesn't have many clients right now, plus she doesn't really have anybody that is "long term" and she wants to work with me over the next several months, to help me. I'm a little nervous about it, but the weight thing (for me) is much like my TTC feelings. I feel sort of like "I'll believe it when I see it". I've been trying for 3 years to lose weight, and have managed to stay right within a certain range... and at the most, I've lost 2 pounds a month...

I think I need prayer to see hope in my life. In the areas of weight and in conception. I think I've given up, but still have all the desires, I just feel no hope... and I don't really like those feelings.



purejoy -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/17/2008 5:44:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pumpkin
I think I need prayer to see hope in my life. In the areas of weight and in conception. I think I've given up, but still have all the desires, I just feel no hope... and I don't really like those feelings.


I will pray Gina. It's hard to be at that point.
It does sound like your friend's heart is in the right place, and if nothing else you guys will have a couple of days a week to develop your friendship and hang out, too.



not_the_first -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/18/2008 11:51:05 PM)

When did TTC turn into "struggling TC" for you all? For me, it was around 11 months. I honestly didn't even worry about it before then and just thought it was taking a little longer. After 13 months, I finally took my very first pregancy test ever, because I was really late - the only time I'd ever been late enough to test. BFN. Since I was charting, I already knew that I never ovulated, but I guess I was wishful thinking. That was the only abnormal cycle I've had in years, it was 46 days long. I think since then my "struggle" started. I do think there IS a difference between just TTC and struggling, at least there has been for me. Just praying that sometime in my future I'll get to take one again.



SweetLittleErin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/19/2008 9:34:50 AM)

For me it was early on, but thats because I stopped having periods and stopped ovulating. That was just about 3-4 months in. I know thats not long, but hey, when you arent ovulating its kinda hard to get pregnant. It then two another 3-4 cycles before I even started ovulating, then two cycles of ovulating and "perfect timing" and STILL nothing. Thats where we are now.

My whole perception and feeling on this all has changed very recently, for once I dont really feel stressed about it. Actually, I kinda tired of being stressed and worrying about it. I still think about it alot, but its not the same. Not sure that really makes sense....



purejoy -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/19/2008 11:18:05 AM)

It makes sense Erin. That's the point I got to about 2 months ago. And usually I'm still there. I am thankful that God has given us so many other things going on in our lives right now too, that it's easier not to focus on that.

When did it become "struggling".....hmmmm....I would probably say in September, when it was the one year mark of no birth control. It kind of hit me then that I realized we would fit the medical definition for infertility.

I do need to see a doctor, but figuring out the when and how to pay for it is kind of tricky.

Sometimes I wonder, would it be better if I knew for sure that we were never going to have kids? Then we could just move on? Move on to what? Well, adoption I'm sure. But I also know that I would be ready for adoption right now. That would be enough for me, even if I never knew for sure if we would have biological children. I could adopt and be happy never knowing, just "letting it happen." Which we may come to eventually, but at this point dh wants to have biological children first. And I don't know how in depth with infertility stuff I am willing to go. It's definitely something we would need to seek and Lord on. And seek and seek some more.

I'm rambling...sorry. [8D]



SweetLittleErin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/19/2008 11:36:38 AM)

In a way I want to know if we can ever have kids or not, so I'll know and can move on. At this point in time, hubby isnt too keen on the idea of adoption. I'd love to adpot but I so long to carry my own baby, to go through pregnancy and delivery, and breastfeeding and all that. But I could love an adopted child just as much.

The on the flip side, another part of me DOESNT want to know for sure, because then I can just live in denial. However, I guess we are finding out. We'll pretty much have tested everything come next week. So the days of not knowing are almost over. Its scary...



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/19/2008 11:36:57 AM)

for me it became struggling when I realized that my body was working against me. Like Erin, I realized that I wasn't ovulating (or not very often) and that my cycles had become "wacky" and unpredictable. I've been charting for 2 years, and it had been fairly normal for quite some time, but after my surgery it became really unpredictable, and I started to feel like it wasn't going to happen because I wasn't ovulating. I was seeking medical attention just to have my period, let alone to ovulate. (I didn't end up using the prescription progesterone to help start my period, but only because I just couldn't force myself to do it at that time that it was prescribed) So, I waited around a lot for my period, for ovulation... both of which have just decided to do what they pleased.... and ovulation went on vacation or something.

The really hard part for me was when I would chart, and everything looked really really good... and it looked as though I ovulated (due to temps) but then it was more than 18 days (more than 1 cycle this happened) and my temps were still up, but still no positive pregnance test. I waited. Tested again, still nothing. Waited, tested again, still nothing. I called the doctor, they confirmed a "no" and did an ultrasound... and that's when the wanted me to take the progesterone, but told me that I didn't "have" to, not until another 20 days or something, then I "HAD" to, so I waited. In time, my temps went down, and then eventually my period came. Then the next cycle, it was 14 days long, and it looked like I had ovulated... which was great news! Then my period came early. Horrible news. I had really "felt" pregnant that cycle too... and so I cried and cried over that one. It was at that point that I realized how much this area of my life felt like a struggle... and felt like it would never happen.

I've been off BC pills since Feb. of 2006. We used a barrier method for a time, but it's been quite a while since we've used that too.



SweetLittleErin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/19/2008 11:52:18 AM)

For me its hard because a lot of people look at me and say "whats the big deal, you havent been trying even a year yet" Yes, thats true, I havent been trying long, but when you KNOW your body isnt working whats the point in waiting just because that time period is the "norm"?



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/19/2008 11:56:04 AM)

and actually for me, my doctor didn't even recommend that I wait until a year had passed. He told me 6 months after my surgery. I waited 8 months... but knew I wasn't ovulating either... so we now have a plan in mind.



purejoy -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/24/2008 2:24:15 PM)

Gina, how are you dear? Feeling better? Hubby feeling better?



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/24/2008 8:57:15 PM)

we both feel a lot better, but we both still have a cough from time to time... and we're both really stuffy/sinus issues now. Mainly we're both just plain exhausted. Thank you so much for asking about me (& my hubby). =)

David has his test on Wed. of next week, and I'm just waiting for my period to start. It's hard to say whether I ovulated or not this month. I do chart, but I had a fever from days 12 - 20. I do use OPK's, but during that time that I was sick, I don't know how well it would work... since you are supposed to do it after being up for a while, and in the afternoon... and I was sleeping a lot during that time, so I don't know if they were accurate or not. My temps were down for about 2 days after the fever, then they went up again, and so Fert. Friend says that I may have ovulated during then. I'm currently on day 32. FF says that I should test on day 35. I don't know that I will if my period doesn't come before then, we'll just have to see how it goes.



purejoy -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/25/2008 5:12:46 PM)

Fevers can be tricky.
I would think the OPK should still be fairly accurate though.
You'll have to keep us posted!



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/25/2008 7:04:43 PM)

the thing is, I didn't take them at the same time each day, and sometimes it was "fresh" from waking up from a 4 or 5 hr. nap... and from what I've read, I thought THAT would mess with the results. Maybe not.. I don't know.



purejoy -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/25/2008 9:40:31 PM)

Are we talking OPK or temp?
An OPK should not make a difference for how long you were sleeping or being the same time every day, because it either will detect the hormone surge, or it will not.
A temp would make a difference on getting enough sleep and checking the same time every day.
So maybe you're still good after all?



SweetLittleErin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/26/2008 9:37:12 AM)

My OPKS are about the same time each day, I dont think a little variance would matter. I think that that rule is mainly so you dont miss it. As long as you arent using first morning urine, it shouldnt matter. I think even then it doest hurt TOO much.



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/26/2008 12:44:20 PM)

quote:

Q: What time of day should I test?

A: The best time to test is 2 p.m., or as close as possible. Anytime between noon and 8 p.m. is fine, first morning urine is not recommended. The reason for this is that most women experience a surge in the morning, but it can take 4 hours for it to show up in your urine.

Make sure to test at about the same time every day.



quote:

Should I use first morning urine (FMU) with OPK's? No. LH is synthesized early in the day, and is not metabolized into your urine until later. So, as a rule, you are more likely to catch your surge later in the day. ("They" say you should test sometime around 2-4 p.m., but I've had fine luck at 10 p.m.-midnight.) Using FMU may not be a problem for you, but if you do not detect a surge during the cycle you use FMU, try testing later during the next cycle.

Note: the Clearblue Fertility Monitor is the exception. The FM Monitor does require FMU.


Ok, I tried looking it up on several websites, and this is basically what it says. It doesn't say anything about sleeping weird patterns... like sleeping from midnight - 6, and then being up from 6-9, and then sleeping from 9-3, and then taking an OPK... it just says not to use First Morning Urine (or FMU) I don't know, I would think that it would mess with the results, but who knows, maybe it doesn't, and maybe it does. Either way I hate the stupid OPK's, I've never seen a positive, and I'm really disgusted with the whole process right now. I'm not in a "good place" about them, or any of it at the moment.

David's test is on Wed., and I'm on day 34, don't have a clue what my body did or didn't do this month, and don't even want to think about it... but there it looms. It's like this little cloud above my head that I don't want to notice, but it won't go away either.



SweetLittleErin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/26/2008 12:50:57 PM)

My doctor recommends the first response (I think) that way you dont have to tell which line is darker etc. They have a smiley face if you are about to ovulate, and nothing if not. But they are expensive.

I take mine when I get home from work in the evenings....one...its not first thing in the morning, and two....I dont want to sit at work all knowing I'm fertile and cant do anything about it.

((hugs)) Sorry you are having a hard time right now.



not_the_first -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/26/2008 5:32:08 PM)

I wouldn't think that timing on the OPK's would matter that much. Temp taking is definitely time sensitive though. I hate the double line ones, I can never tell if it really is darker, or just my imagination or what. Why can't it just be simple. I will have to find the smiley ones. I haven't been charting, OPK'ing or anything for about 3 months. My cycle has been very regular, 27 days exactly, so I pretty much know when I'm ovulating, and I've been going more by CM now. I think we may really kick it up this cycle though and try OPK's again. I just want to keep trying, but not be obsessive about it and temp-taking makes me feel obsessive.

3 of my friends are pregnant right now, all with their 3rd child, so I just feel left out. Not that that's the reason I want to get pregnant, but I just get so sad when everyone else has good news sometimes. Not angry or envious or mad that they are pregnant, just sad because we've been trying so long and I just wonder when or if it will really happen for us. I'm really trying to find the positives in not being pregnant though, like the freedom we have, the ability to be mobile on a moments notice, the time we have for other friends and family and for our church......but then again, we are 32 and 39 and we've had enough "freedom" in our lives, we are so ready for a family [:(].



SweetLittleErin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (1/26/2008 11:49:20 PM)

I always have to ask hubby which line is darker, without telling him which is SUPPOSED to be darker. I know I for sure would imagine something thats not there!



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