What is true love? (Full Version)

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John_O -> What is true love? (1/22/2008 3:53:05 PM)

I received an email which I saw as an excellent example of true love. Please add your own examples. What does true love look like to you?

Here's the email:


quote:

The older you get the more you can appreciate this story. It is told by a
Hospital Intern.


It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's,
arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry
as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an
hour before someone would to able to see him.



I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with
another patient at the time, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the
needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.



While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's
appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me
no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his
wife.

I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while
and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if
she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew
who he was, and that she had not recognized him in five years now.



I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even

though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still
know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and
thought, "That is the kind of love that we all need in our lives."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of
ALL that is, has been, will be, and will not be.



(And it's inconceivable to me that anyone would want to post a Princess Bride reference on this thread)



benelchi -> RE: What is true love? (1/22/2008 4:25:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: John_O

I received an email which I saw as an excellent example of true love. Please add your own examples. What does true love look like to you?

Here's the email:


quote:

The older you get the more you can appreciate this story. It is told by a
Hospital Intern.


It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's,
arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry
as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an
hour before someone would to able to see him.



I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with
another patient at the time, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the
needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.



While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's
appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me
no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his
wife.

I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while
and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if
she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew
who he was, and that she had not recognized him in five years now.



I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even

though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still
know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and
thought, "That is the kind of love that we all need in our lives."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of
ALL that is, has been, will be, and will not be.



(And it's inconceivable to me that anyone would want to post a Princess Bride reference on this thread)


I do agree (I guess I may have to eat my earlier words, huh) that this is a good example of True love; however, I do question the conclusion because I don't see this as being absent of romance, but displaying the heart of true romance.



sunshinesoprano -> RE: What is true love? (1/22/2008 4:29:34 PM)

That's great. Thanks for sharing.

I think true love is something that supercedes anything words can describe.

It's that warm feeling in your body that tingles when you think about it.

It's that good hurt in your heart when you miss someone that you love.

It's knowing that that person will always be there for you, and you for them, no matter what.

It's being true to someone unconditionally, not in spite of their foibles, but because of them, which is what makes them who they are...

more to come



John_O -> RE: What is true love? (1/22/2008 4:49:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinesoprano

It's knowing that that person will always be there for you, and you for them, no matter what.



Let me add to this one "regardless of how you feel about them (or they feel about you) at the moment."



quote:

It's being true to someone unconditionally, not in spite of their foibles, but because of them, which is what makes them who they are...


Which works hand in hand with the one immediately above.



Dakotasunbeam -> RE: What is true love? (1/22/2008 5:18:32 PM)

True love is true, only if you mean it.



CoeurdeLeon -> RE: What is true love? (1/22/2008 7:04:19 PM)

This is a blog post I made elsewhere awhile ago. It sort of answers the question....

I wonder about myself sometimes. I wonder why I think the things I think, what the source is for some of the conclusions I come to. A conversation got me to thinking about my ideas about love and romance. It could probably be said that my life has been a course in what love isn't. Fair enough. But perhaps through deduction I've gleaned a thing or two. Or maybe not. In any case, I come at things from such a pragmatic angle that I invariably sound like I think marriage is a business arrangement and that love is a negligible aspect of it. So I've thought things through a little and submit this for your perusal and, possibly, amusement.

What I think of as romantic is probably a far cry from other's idea of it. I think about how people in the past never got out of their own very narrow neck of the woods and so their choices of mate were quite limited. The idea that there was 'something better' somewhere else didn't occur to them. And so they looked around at the choices they had, weighed character traits as much as chemical attraction, made a decision and then went about making that decision work. To see an older couple who have been through a lifetime of good and bad, raised a family, fought and laughed and cried together and still enjoy each other's company, that to me is romantic.

I think I've determined that love, real, deep, complex, abiding love, is born out of respect. Or perhaps that love without a basis of admiration and respect is a pale and flimsy shadow of what it could and should be. I think there's romance in the day to day stuff. In the little actions and decisions that reveal your mate's good character. That doesn't sound very exciting, does it? And yet, I think it's like so many other things, seemingly going away from the objective but, in reality, bringing forth unlooked for and unimagined depth of feeling.

So yeah, I'm a romantic with a practical bent of mind. I may be completely off-base, there's no real way for me to know and it's very likely that I'll never find out. But it sounds like truth to me.



shemaromans -> RE: What is true love? (1/22/2008 7:29:54 PM)

quote:

quote:

The older you get the more you can appreciate this story. It is told by a
Hospital Intern.

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with
another patient at the time, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the
needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's
appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his
wife.

I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while
and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if
she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, and that she had not recognized him in five years now.


I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even
though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and
thought, "That is the kind of love that we all need in our lives."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of
ALL that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
That's my grandfather's love for my grandmother...to a T. He visits her each and every day without fail.



benelchi -> RE: What is true love? (1/22/2008 7:38:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

This is a blog post I made elsewhere awhile ago. It sort of answers the question....

I wonder about myself sometimes. I wonder why I think the things I think, what the source is for some of the conclusions I come to. A conversation got me to thinking about my ideas about love and romance. It could probably be said that my life has been a course in what love isn't. Fair enough. But perhaps through deduction I've gleaned a thing or two. Or maybe not. In any case, I come at things from such a pragmatic angle that I invariably sound like I think marriage is a business arrangement and that love is a negligible aspect of it. So I've thought things through a little and submit this for your perusal and, possibly, amusement.

What I think of as romantic is probably a far cry from other's idea of it. I think about how people in the past never got out of their own very narrow neck of the woods and so their choices of mate were quite limited. The idea that there was 'something better' somewhere else didn't occur to them. And so they looked around at the choices they had, weighed character traits as much as chemical attraction, made a decision and then went about making that decision work. To see an older couple who have been through a lifetime of good and bad, raised a family, fought and laughed and cried together and still enjoy each other's company, that to me is romantic.

I think I've determined that love, real, deep, complex, abiding love, is born out of respect. Or perhaps that love without a basis of admiration and respect is a pale and flimsy shadow of what it could and should be. I think there's romance in the day to day stuff. In the little actions and decisions that reveal your mate's good character. That doesn't sound very exciting, does it? And yet, I think it's like so many other things, seemingly going away from the objective but, in reality, bringing forth unlooked for and unimagined depth of feeling.

So yeah, I'm a romantic with a practical bent of mind. I may be completely off-base, there's no real way for me to know and it's very likely that I'll never find out. But it sounds like truth to me.



Good post!



John_O -> RE: What is true love? (1/22/2008 8:42:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

What I think of as romantic is probably a far cry from other's idea of it. I think about how people in the past never got out of their own very narrow neck of the woods and so their choices of mate were quite limited. The idea that there was 'something better' somewhere else didn't occur to them. And so they looked around at the choices they had, weighed character traits as much as chemical attraction, made a decision and then went about making that decision work. To see an older couple who have been through a lifetime of good and bad, raised a family, fought and laughed and cried together and still enjoy each other's company, that to me is romantic.


Every marriage can be heaven if people will just follow the bolded advice above.

quote:

I think there's romance in the day to day stuff. In the little actions and decisions that reveal your mate's good character. That doesn't sound very exciting, does it? And yet, I think it's like so many other things, seemingly going away from the objective but, in reality, bringing forth unlooked for and unimagined depth of feeling.


Love grows throughout a marriage. It either grows stronger or grows weaker. But it is never unchanging. A very wise man (my 9th grade forensics/debate coach) taught me perhaps the most important thing I know about women. Never forget the little things. Love is grown by remembering the little things, teh day to day stuff builds a foundation of trust that makes love secure.

Good post CDL.



CoeurdeLeon -> RE: What is true love? (1/22/2008 9:02:16 PM)

Thank you, Gentlemen.[:)]



Pauley464 -> RE: What is true love? (1/22/2008 9:13:13 PM)

My Uncle Johnny fought in WWII and was stationed, during much of his tour, in Belgium. While there, he met a girl named Marietta working in a small cafe run by her family. I was never told all of the fascinating little details, (although, I wish I was) but after the war was over Uncle Johnny went back to Belgium to get her. Which, in my book at least, is romantic enough for a movie on the Lifetime network.

Now, they are both in their nineties. Aunt Marietta has a habit of neglecting to put her false teeth in. This, combined with her european accent renders her completely unintelligible. Her, once, jet black hair is now gray and frizzy and her skin hangs loose and wrinkled on her slight frame. But one thing stands out glaringly obvious. He still calls her "Kid". After all these years, the only thing he still sees is the bright, pretty girl waiting tables in a small cafe in Belgium.



derek_from_canada -> RE: What is true love? (1/22/2008 11:37:08 PM)

The irrational and unconditional placing of another's needs above your own.



BugLady -> RE: What is true love? (1/23/2008 12:23:33 AM)

That would make a great bumper sticker: Love is not blind. It is irrational.

I agree with the gentlemen, Lioness. Great post. [:)]



CoeurdeLeon -> RE: What is true love? (1/23/2008 12:13:13 PM)

Thank you, BudLady, and I must say I really like that bumper sticker idea. I'm thinking T-shirts and coffee mugs, too.[:D]



mutinywxgirl -> RE: What is true love? (1/23/2008 12:14:26 PM)

I'd buy some!

LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



AlwaysR8chel -> RE: What is true love? (1/23/2008 1:50:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pauley464

After all these years, the only thing he still sees is the bright, pretty girl waiting tables in a small cafe in Belgium.

.
.
.
......... this reminds me of my father... he always saw my mother as the day he fell in love with her.

...... Awesome.



mashelle -> RE: What is true love? (1/23/2008 2:03:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: John_O
What does true love look like to you?


The only thing I can begin to equate with true love is the love I have for my kids. Unconditional, forgiving, unending. I know I want to find true love but I dont know if it will ever happen for me. There was never true love even in my marriage.



John_O -> RE: What is true love? (1/23/2008 2:35:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mashelle

quote:

ORIGINAL: John_O
What does true love look like to you?


The only thing I can begin to equate with true love is the love I have for my kids. Unconditional, forgiving, unending. I know I want to find true love but I dont know if it will ever happen for me. There was never true love even in my marriage.

Keep hanging on. And when God brings the right man to you, build true love.



joy2give2u -> RE: What is true love? (1/23/2008 3:21:56 PM)

To forsake my life for the sake of our life.



LaVidaBonita -> RE: What is true love? (1/23/2008 5:52:30 PM)

I just listened to a sermon preached by the late E.V. Hill at his wife's funeral. First I feel that it was true love that a husband would be willing to put aside his own pain and grief to honor a promise he made to his wife by delivering the sermon at her home going. She told him that yes he was her husband and lover, but he was also her pastor. Three things stuck out in my mind as he described what a wonderful gift God had given him in his wife.

On their 6th wedding anniversary he came into the home to find it all lit up with candles. When asked what was going on his wife simply replied that she thought it would be nice to commemorate this time in their marriage with a candle lit dinner. He was excited by that idea and went into the bathroom to wash his face only to realize that the lights would not turn on. He then realized that the lights to the home had been cut off due to an inability to pay the light bill, but instead of hurting the pride of a man that she knew worked so hard to care for her, Mrs. Hill chose the situation as an opportunity to have a romantic candle lit dinner with her new husband.

After Dr. Hill failed in a business venture that his wife had advised him against, he came home to find her working in the office. She later revealed that she calculated how much money he would have spent if he smoked and drank and then compared it to how much money he lost in the failed business attempt. She then told him that they were no worse off so they should just forget about it.

One night Dr. Hill received death threats telling him that by the next day he would be killed. When he woke up the next morning he realized that both his wife and his car were gone. After a few minutes his wife returned home driving his vehicle. When asked what she was up to she said that it occurred to her that someone had put a bomb in his car and so when she woke up to decided to drive it around the block to make sure and was happy to say that everything was alright.

That to me is true love. It is putting the other person first no matter what the consequences may be. It is truly laying your life (your personal happiness, security, satisfaction, and physical life) down for the other person. It is being an encourager, a lover, a helper and a confidant at all times and in all situations.



believeinhim2 -> RE: What is true love? (1/23/2008 7:13:21 PM)

quote:

Keep hanging on. And when God brings the right man to you, build true love.


This is a very wise statement. I believe that true love is something that is built over time between two people who are completely dedicated to one another and to the relationship. I believe that it is something that rarely if ever just "happens".



crystalblue -> RE: What is true love? (1/25/2008 5:45:22 AM)

That is such a beautiful story.

To me true love is doing your best to love how God loves - because his love is the purest.



BjoyMN -> RE: What is true love? (1/25/2008 1:39:11 PM)

quote:

quote:

Keep hanging on. And when God brings the right man to you, build true love.


I agree with this also...there are stages to true love and it is a lot of work to keep moving to the next stage. It takes real committment and acceptance from both.

Another good definition for me of true love comes from a Sara Groves song:

"Loving a person just the way they are, that's no small thing."



.Pammy -> RE: What is true love? (1/25/2008 1:46:34 PM)

My favorite definition of real intimacy is being fully known and fully safe.



John_O -> RE: What is true love? (1/25/2008 4:52:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PamelaSue

My favorite definition of real intimacy is being fully known and fully safe.


Very good!



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