|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: 3 yr old and their behaviour - 2/19/2008 7:20:12 PM
|
|
|
nicole6598
Posts: 4101
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
Status: offline
|
:) thanks girls for making me smile today, its been a rough few weeks so that has meant alot to have a bit of fun with this topic.
Oh yeah, I can't go toilet in piece although Grace is getting better at leaving me alone, that's where I read my daily devotional 
good idea Sarah about the notes around places. I used to do that when I first became a Christian, had scriptures all over my room and I tried it here but hubby didn't like it, so I may have to hide them where others can't see. I also need to replace the scriptures that are on my toilet wall too. I might make it a list of prayer points instead (not personal ones).
_____________________________
Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: 3 yr old and their behaviour - 2/20/2008 6:49:11 PM
|
|
|
Mrs.X
Posts: 2939
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
Status: offline
|
Nicole, I know how you feel. Timmy is just like Grace, except he can't talk as well as her yet. I ask for hubby's advice when it comes to Timmy to help make Robert feel involved, and every once in a while he comes up with something good. I never ask his advice about the baby though. That would be bad for Jimmy's health, LOL! But, I think if you just ask his advice about Grace solely for the purpose of making him feel involved may help your situation a little. "Do you think we should only let him throw balloons, or should he able to throw all the soft toys?" was something that came up recently. I could see the look on Robert's face when I asked his advice, he was happy. Honestly, you have the education and experience when it comes to babies and children, he doesn't. You are with them 24/7, he is not. You know what you're doing, Nicole, and you're a good mum.
To answer your other question, I agree with Sarah. Talk to God all day long. Also is there a period of time when both kids are sleeping? It's so easy to try to squeeze chores into that time, but maybe you can forget about that to be with God.
_____________________________
-Stina
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
|
|
|
|
|
RE: 3 yr old and their behaviour - 2/20/2008 10:32:58 PM
|
|
|
Kat_D
Posts: 3123
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
Status: offline
|
quote:
I just always hate it when he says "you better make sure Grace doesn't cry, behaves today" etc
Well, that just isn't right. That's an awful lot of pressure he's putting on you....as if, anyone could "make sure" a 3 year-old doesn't cry. I'm sorry, Nicole. That just isn't fair or reasonable.
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
|
|
|
|
|
RE: 3 yr old and their behaviour - 2/20/2008 10:41:21 PM
|
|
|
nicole6598
Posts: 4101
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
Status: offline
|
I agree Kat, the pressure is too much, its hard to know where to draw the line on being submissive etc towards hubby and when to tell him to back off and let me be.
_____________________________
Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: 3 yr old and their behaviour - 2/20/2008 10:46:10 PM
|
|
|
Kat_D
Posts: 3123
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
Status: offline
|
Nicole, when you sit down with him to have your talk, you probably should tell him how it makes you feel when he puts that kind of pressure on you. It simply is not possible to keep a 3 year old quiet or from a little misbehaving for an entire afternoon.
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
|
|
|
|
|
RE: 3 yr old and their behaviour - 2/20/2008 11:01:10 PM
|
|
|
nicole6598
Posts: 4101
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
Status: offline
|
But the problem is Kat that he thinks it is, he says "i don't care about other kids, my kids are not going to misbehave". Its totally irrational thinking, it gets me so mad. He sees his parents and their upbringing through rose coloured glasses, but if the way his younger sister treated me this week is anything to go by then I CERTAINLY don't want to raise my kids like that. Just like Sarah has said, we are raising adults, not kids. I think it also comes down to the fact that he feels pressure from his own parents and siblings to be really good, he is always trying to prove himself to them and others and this is just another thing to prove to people that he is successful. meanwhile wearing me down and out!
_____________________________
Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: 3 yr old and their behaviour - 2/20/2008 11:56:12 PM
|
|
|
nicole6598
Posts: 4101
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
Status: offline
|
Thanks Sarah and Manda, I am just feeling so very overwhelmed at the moment, all I want to do is sit and cry and not take the kids anywhere in fear they will misbehave and I will get scolded for it, its been a rough few weeks and this week has been the worst.
Thank you
_____________________________
Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: 3 yr old and their behaviour - 2/21/2008 4:05:14 PM
|
|
|
nicole6598
Posts: 4101
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
Status: offline
|
Thanks Maggie, I am very consistent, more so than DH, being a teacher I know that consistency and persistance is what children need.
I did cry my eyes out last night about a whole heap of things and he did say "you do a good job with the kids". I told him that I need to hear that a bit more other than the other things he says, he said he was sorry. So that's a start I guess.
_____________________________
Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: 3 yr old and their behaviour - 2/21/2008 4:08:27 PM
|
|
|
Sideways
Posts: 3628
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
I'm glad to hear you had that affirmation from your husband, Nicole. Sometimes a start is just what we need.
Keep up the communication with your hubby. You're doing a great job.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: 3 yr old and their behaviour - 2/21/2008 4:29:54 PM
|
|
|
Kat_D
Posts: 3123
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
Status: offline
|
quote:
I did cry my eyes out last night about a whole heap of things and he did say "you do a good job with the kids". I told him that I need to hear that a bit more other than the other things he says, he said he was sorry. So that's a start I guess.
Oh, I'm glad he responded like that...that's a good start. Keep the lines of communication open...change is hard for everyone! ((((Nicole))))
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
|
|
|
|
|
RE: 3 yr old and their behaviour - 2/21/2008 4:37:24 PM
|
|
|
nicole6598
Posts: 4101
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
Status: offline
|
thanks girls :)
_____________________________
Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: 3 yr old and their behaviour - 2/23/2008 10:36:17 PM
|
|
|
nicole6598
Posts: 4101
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
Status: offline
|
ok, can i ask for some tips of advice?
today after church hubby wanted to get some hot chips to eat for lunch, so we drove there to get them, meanwhile Grace tells me she needs the toilet. We were not in a safe area and Nath was asleep, hubby had the keys so I didn't want to leave him in the car. I called hubby and asked if he could ask the fish and chip shop if there were toilets there. He said he didn't want to and she could wait. So she was crying because she needed to go and he got all grumpy and gruff telling her to stop it and then getting mad at me for not stopping her. How was I meant her to stop crying when she needed the toilet? Would you have told your child off? I tried to calm her down but it wasn't working. I was told (infront of her) that I spoil her, I don't discipline and i need to sort her out. I just kind of sat there not saying anything and when we got home he took another shot at me and I told him that I am doing my best, I am the one home all day and I think I am doing a pretty good job.
Sarah-how do you get your kids to stop whining and crying? I tell Grace (well have been this week) "let's make our words sweet like honey" and anytime she has whined I ask her to say it again (i show her how to do it) and if she doesn't she doesn't get what she is wanting etc. Is that ok what I am doing?
_____________________________
Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: 3 yr old and their behaviour - 2/23/2008 11:06:47 PM
|
|
|
Sideways
Posts: 3628
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
Yeah, I think your husband was way out of line on this one, Nicole. I can totally understand why Grace was upset.
I think sometimes that men have very little patience for small children. They have trouble empathizing with anyone who isn't an adult male.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: 3 yr old and their behaviour - 2/24/2008 1:14:54 AM
|
|
|
nicole6598
Posts: 4101
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
Status: offline
|
ok cool :) Thanks!
_____________________________
Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: 3 yr old and their behaviour - 2/24/2008 1:25:20 AM
|
|
|
Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 5097
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
|
quote:
I ask for hubby's advice when it comes to Timmy to help make Robert feel involved, and every once in a while he comes up with something good.
Men should be involved  You didn't get pregnant on your own so why should you raise a child on your own? Oye. Anyway, Gabby has been waking in the middle of the night again and we(Micah and I) had been brainstorming things that had changed that might have "triggered" her night waking. The only thing he could come up with was that it coincided with starting solids so he took over feeding for the day, stopped her solids and only gave her formula until bed and then gave her a bowl of cereal and veggies right before her bath(about 30 minutes before bed) and she slept through the WHOLE night. He's such a good Daddy 
Nicole, I just want to say that I totally agree with everything Sarah has said  Also, my mom took pretty much the same approach to whining and on our "bad" days we had a "three strikes" rule, if you had to be told to stop more then 3 times then you would get spanked(3 swats) and sent to your bed until the next meal time. I don't think she started doing that until we were 5... Anyway, my parents were very strict and they still showed us ALL the time how much they loved us.
3 is old enough, IMO, to understand if you have to be told something repeatedly and you don't listen that there will be a consequence, but I think it's to young to send them to their room for 1-2 hours.
ETA- I don't have a 3yo, so take what I say with a grain of salt 
< Message edited by Mrs.Wifey -- 2/24/2008 1:31:31 AM >
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
), and there were definately days when I was *so* ashamed by my children's behavior, and by my apparent lack of ability to raise them well. 
My dh tended to get harsher after our children embarassed us. He had the right idea (that we needed to make consistent training a serious focus) but he definately had to learn to soften his approach a bit. 
hmmm babies cry when they are tired or something is wrong. 
