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RE: The Meet Market

 
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RE: The Meet Market - 3/22/2008 5:12:58 PM   
gaylel1


Posts: 1151
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E-harmony is not a christian site, and that is why perverts are attracted to it because they see a site full of Christians and guess what? Christian sisters if they are not careful will be ripped off.

Not everyone who join these dating services are not walking with the Lord, nor they are in fellowship. And in order to find someone who is sold out for God, it will take some work here. I'm not trying to discourage anyone in any way to not join these services, but people need to use wisdom and discerment and not find the first guy they see thinking that they are interested, but they are not.



_____________________________

Hear "The Truth" with the "other" Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)

Visit me at http//:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
Post #: 176
RE: The Meet Market - 3/22/2008 5:24:08 PM   
ShallbeRebuilt


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Gayle;

Have you had experience on eHarmony similar to Trinigirl's? You have mentioned this before on the forum, I think.

We always have to be careful. Even the guys at church can be perverts or hypocrits--eHarmony is no different.

One thing that I think makes me a little different is I'm not very good looking. That keeps a lot of the perverts and hypocrits from looking at my profile: they are selfish enough that they only look at the good looking ladies--I'm spared that.

That's not to say that perverts won't take advantage of fat ladies--they will, but usually not when they have a choice.


besiderself


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Post #: 177
RE: The Meet Market - 3/22/2008 5:36:21 PM   
gaylel1


Posts: 1151
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From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
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quote:

ORIGINAL: besiderself

Gayle;

Have you had experience on eHarmony similar to Trinigirl's? You have mentioned this before on the forum, I think.

We always have to be careful. Even the guys at church can be perverts or hypocrits--eHarmony is no different.

One thing that I think makes me a little different is I'm not very good looking. That keeps a lot of the perverts and hypocrits from looking at my profile: they are selfish enough that they only look at the good looking ladies--I'm spared that.

That's not to say that perverts won't take advantage of fat ladies--they will, but usually not when they have a choice.


besiderself




Not on e-harmony, but I also a sister in my fellowship tell me that she knows a person who met someone, got married and they are on their way to divorce.

Then again, I had experiences on Christian and non-christian sites. I've joined Yahoo and one of the guys turned out to be a homosexual, another was in a drug treatment center (another no-no of mines because I do not date those kind of people who have issues like this), and another one--well, I won't go into that because that's in the past.

And these people claimed to be believers, but they told a different story and this what people has to watch out for. Yes, I understand there are decivers in the church and there is no question about it, however, like I said before not everyone who join these services are saved and not involved in a local church body, which is my main criteria.

And if these people look at these so-called good looking ladies, something is wrong with them and they are going for people with looks, which is unfortnate in our society. These people are not potential leaders in the home nor they are not walking with him at all.

My opinion...


_____________________________

Hear "The Truth" with the "other" Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)

Visit me at http//:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
Post #: 178
RE: The Meet Market - 3/22/2008 8:40:50 PM   
rgod


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Well, I'm posting a bit more quickly than I'd planned. I met an interesting fellow today at the bookstore. I was just standing there, trying to find a book and there he was. He wasn't the type of guy that I'd normally notice. He seemed pretty nice and the conversation was pretty good. He remembered me from the library at school (of course, I was probably doing some research at the time and didn't notice him - I tend to be pretty focused). I generally don't meet anyone or at least I never realize that someone is interested in meeting me until the time has passed. But I read "Finding a Date Worth Keeping" a while ago and remembered reading that once you start making the effort to be open, you'll start attracting people. Well ... I'd have to say that this is working. I've had people express interest in me more in the past few months than I remembered having in the past few years. And today I didn't even have makeup or anything special on (just a little skirt, shirt, and jacket - very casual). He asked me out for a date. I told him that I'd get back in touch with him, but I'm leaning towards going. I've got to pray about it though. He seems pretty cool and I think it would be interesting to get to know someone new.

I think a couple of things have are kind of pushing me forward in this area. First and foremost, I've been really clearing my life, getting ready to welcome someone else to it. A number of years ago God said that he would send me a husband (about 11 years ago next month) and I've been really feeling like the time is coming more quickly than I realize. I've been getting the word to act on God's promise for my life instead of sitting back and waiting. I have also had some people that have been praying for me in this area. I'm also doing a lot of practical things. I've been getting out of the house. So instead of studying in my room, I'll go out to a coffee house or something. I've also recently relocated (not to meet people, but for other reasons) and there are a lot more young single people. I changed the way I dress. Not so much to show more skin or to look cheap, but now I'll wear something that shows my legs or my curves a bit more instead of shapless baggy clothes. I've also think too that joining e-harmony and posting my picture has really helped me to see that there are people that are interested in me and that I don't have to be a size 2 so it boosted my confidence. Yes, three guys were looney - but eight weren't. So that has been pretty cool. It also made me open to different people from different backgrounds. So I'm thankful for that.

So, that is the latest update. It was a lovely surprise because I didn't think I'd get asked out for another month or so. So, we'll see what happens!

rgod

< Message edited by rgod -- 3/22/2008 8:55:51 PM >
Post #: 179
RE: The Meet Market - 3/22/2008 8:54:19 PM   
rgod


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Besideherself - I don't think that you aren't good looking. Yes, I am a woman, but I think that you are attractive. I think that you'll find men who are interested in you - you'll see! (Let's just hope they won't be the perverts :).

rgod
Post #: 180
RE: The Meet Market - 3/22/2008 10:09:02 PM   
John_O

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: besiderself


One thing that I think makes me a little different is I'm not very good looking. That keeps a lot of the perverts and hypocrits from looking at my profile: they are selfish enough that they only look at the good looking ladies--I'm spared that.



Every woman is beautiful to some man. Don't sell yourself short. To theright man for you you will be an angelic vision.

Looks are very subjective, behave with confidence and you'll look wonderful to the people you are supposed to look wonderful to.

_____________________________

Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
Post #: 181
RE: The Meet Market - 3/22/2008 11:34:07 PM   
ShallbeRebuilt


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quote:

ORIGINAL: John_O

quote:

ORIGINAL: besiderself


One thing that I think makes me a little different is I'm not very good looking. That keeps a lot of the perverts and hypocrits from looking at my profile: they are selfish enough that they only look at the good looking ladies--I'm spared that.



Every woman is beautiful to some man. Don't sell yourself short. To theright man for you you will be an angelic vision.

Looks are very subjective, behave with confidence and you'll look wonderful to the people you are supposed to look wonderful to.



John_O;

You are always so sweet and encouraging.

I do, actually behave with quite a bit of confidence. Some have wondered if I am, perhaps, too confident. Maybe you will be able to say one way or the other after the GT, if God wills I get to come like I'm hoping.

My point was just that ladies like rgod are more likely to get hit on by the perverts. And actually, since I have only had one experience since being widowed with a possible relationship, and it turned out that he was a pervert (I shudder to think he might have been trying to get to my children through me)...I guess perhaps my track record isn't too good.

rgod;

Thanks for the compliment.

You go girl! I think you've got the right attitude, and even if this particular bookstore guy doesn't turn out to be the one, it'll still be a learning experience. Have fun. Be safe.

My daughter told me something when I first started this whole eHarmony thing. (That would be the daughter with the beau that makes me so insanely jealous) I was lamenting that some guy had closed a match on me and she said...

"Ah, mom...don't let it bother you. There can be only ONE, you know. Every match down is one match closer to the one."

Ha! My own daughter giving me advice...and good advice, at that. While I seeth inwardly in green envy at her wonderful, romantic relationship.

I'm a bad mom.

Keep us posted, rgod, on how things go for you.


besiderself


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Post #: 182
RE: The Meet Market - 3/22/2008 11:51:07 PM   
John_O

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: besiderself

"Ah, mom...don't let it bother you. There can be only ONE, you know. Every match down is one match closer to the one."


This is so very true. We often lose sight of the fact that the dating thing is designed to eliminate bad matches.

_____________________________

Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
Post #: 183
RE: The Meet Market - 3/23/2008 5:00:22 PM   
trinigirl722


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quote:

ORIGINAL: John_O

quote:

ORIGINAL: besiderself

"Ah, mom...don't let it bother you. There can be only ONE, you know. Every match down is one match closer to the one."


This is so very true. We often lose sight of the fact that the dating thing is designed to eliminate bad matches.


Yes, that's true. What a great (and very practical) way of looking at things!

Gayle, I realize that many people who subscribe to Eharmony aren't Christians. The mere fact that it's advertised on national television ensures that--many viewers who see the TV ad are not Christians, but they respond to the ad. But like Besiderself said, even men you meet in church who claim to be Christians can have very non-Christian dating standards. So I think we all just have to be very careful and use discernment and caution with dating both online and in real life.

Besiderself, I agree with John -- dont' sell yourself short. I think your profile photo looks great!

quote:

I've been getting out of the house.


RGod, definitely a good strategy! That's exciting that you were asked out. It's always nice to be asked out every now and then. So, do you know if he's a Christian? Also, did you like Finding a Date Worth Keeping? I heard the authors speak a couple of years ago and really liked what they had to say. They talked about getting out of the house, too.
Post #: 184
RE: The Meet Market - 3/23/2008 7:49:49 PM   
rgod


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quote:

So, do you know if he's a Christian? Also, did you like Finding a Date Worth Keeping? I heard the authors speak a couple of years ago and really liked what they had to say. They talked about getting out of the house, too.


Hi Trinigirl,

Yes ... getting out of the house is a good strategy :) - although I do know of a woman who met her husband at home. He was the UPS man :) I'm not sure if this guy is a christian or not. That is one of the things that I'll try to find out on this date. We'll see how it goes.

I did like "Finding a Date Worth Keeping." When I first read it though, I found the ideas in it overwhelming - I couldn't imagine how I could possibly do it. There were two reasons for this.

First, I didn't think I was pretty enough to attract anyone. I felt fat, dumpy, and ugly. This is why I could relate to some of the earlier comments in this thread. I prayed to the Lord about it and over the last couple of years I've gotten a lot of feedback from different men who have found me attractive. It is interesting because I didn't have to put myself in any compromising position and I didn't seek feedback myself. These things just happened over time. These were men from all different backgrounds and ethnic groups (white, black, asian, hispanic), different ages, different walks of life. I received marriage proposals in asia (I'm still shocked about this), unsolicited respectful encouragement from very attractive smooth African-American men, persistent but respectful interest from "geeks" of different races, and more. While these things didn't happen every day, I slowly started to see myself differently and to be more open. I'm not Halle Berry - not by a long shot! But that is ok. I feel attractive and am learning to be a lot more comfortable with my physical self. And I feel very comfortable with who I am internally since the Lord has done major work inside.

The second thing about the book that was difficult for me at first, was that I thought it was much more godly to just wait on the Lord to bring my mate and to not date. I kept feeling like their advice was too worldly. Well, since that time, I've come to understand that one approach (dating vs not dating) is not necessarily better than the other. What it boils down to is - are we following what God is leading us individually to do? I know someone who tried EHarmony, even after the Lord told her no. No matches. She got the message. For me, I feel like this is the way I'm supposed to go at this time. There may come a time when God says no or stop. That will be cool too. One of the major things the book helped me to do was to not place too much emphasis on finding "the one." Instead, I'm just thinking "this seems like an interesting guy - dating is just another way to get to know him better."

This is probably a lot more than you wanted to know, but I wanted to share about this in detail because I think a lot of singles struggle with these issues. I get so tired of listening to the same old stuff that singles are fed over and over again - be made whole - Jesus will be your mate, etc. I'm not knocking the advice because it is good - but so few people deal with what happens if you follow the Lord and he has you waiting for a while. There are some real emotional things that you deal with. For example, if you are 30, 40, 50, or 60 something and you've not really dated much, it takes a toll on your self-esteem and self-worth. You need to know that you are indeed valuable, attractive, and yes, loveable. I know that I need to know that God is still working and that he hasn't forgotten any of us, even when we feel that he has.

So ... we'll see. I'm at the beginning of all of this - it has been interesting thus far ... I'll keep you guys posted and I look forward to hearing from all of you as well!

rgod

< Message edited by rgod -- 3/23/2008 8:36:20 PM >
Post #: 185
RE: The Meet Market - 3/23/2008 8:07:33 PM   
collie1


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Hi rgod, I just finished 'How to Find a Date Worth Keeping' a week or so ago. He sure looks at dating a lot differently than most Christians do, so the idea of date often and don't worry whether or not they fit in your list of 'must haves' is a new one to me.

Besiderherself, I too wanted to tell you that you could hold your own in any crowd, but I couldn't think of how to put it into just the right words. Some man will count himself as very fortunate to win your heart one day, not just because of your appearance, but because of your heart for the Lord. A man who deserves you will want a woman just like you.

Your daughter's advice reminded me of Deal or no Deal, the grand prize is only in one case. You have to open the wrong ones, even if they look good to find the right one.
I am enjoying this thread,
Colleen
Post #: 186
RE: The Meet Market - 3/23/2008 8:35:21 PM   
Grace-N-Mercy


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This talk about How To Find A Date Worth Keeping has reminded me to pull out my book. While I don't agree with everything in the book, it has helped me to come out of my shell quite a bit over the past couple of years and to look at dating in a whole new way. Henry Cloud has been ministering to singles for a long time - I've been reading his articles & books for about 18 years. I'm hoping to get to meet him next month at a conference.

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<-- When did Hollywood go from classy to 'cheap & easy'?
Post #: 187
RE: The Meet Market - 3/23/2008 9:23:50 PM   
dinomax55


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I'll say one thing- if you worry about your insecurities all the time, they will become increasingly real to everyone else. If someone doesn't find you attractive, so what? Let it go and move on. Remember, out of 6.5 billion people on this planet, God has one for you, and all it takes is one.

_____________________________

We can never achieve perfection.. but if we chase perfection we will catch excellence.

-Vince Lombardi
Post #: 188
RE: The Meet Market - 3/23/2008 9:32:53 PM   
Grace-N-Mercy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: rgod

This is probably a lot more than you wanted to know, but I wanted to share about this in detail because I think a lot of singles struggle with these issues. I get so tired of listening to the same old stuff that singles are fed over and over again - be made whole - Jesus will be your mate, etc. I'm not knocking the advice because it is good - but so few people deal with what happens if you follow the Lord and he has you waiting for a while. There are some real emotional things that you deal with. For example, if you are 30, 40, 50, or 60 something and you've not really dated much, it takes a toll on your self-esteem and self-worth. You need to know that you are indeed valuable, attractive, and yes, loveable. I know that I need to know that God is still working and that he hasn't forgotten any of us, even when we feel that he has.
So ... we'll see. I'm at the beginning of all of this - it has been interesting thus far ... I'll keep you guys posted and I look forward to hearing from all of you as well!

rgod




Excellent points, and well-said.

_____________________________

<-- When did Hollywood go from classy to 'cheap & easy'?
Post #: 189
RE: The Meet Market - 3/23/2008 9:56:23 PM   
ShallbeRebuilt


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quote:

I've been getting out of the house. So instead of studying in my room, I'll go out to a coffee house or something.


This is a good point. I am out a LOT, but in the same circles...not many of which are conducive to meeting single guys my age. But when you said something about studying at a coffee shop or meeting someone in a bookstore, I realized that there is a great bookstore and a couple of coffee shops near my college. I usually go to the Music building to study, (i.e., lots of young college kids, very little chance of meeting any one) but I could choose to go off campus sometimes and go to the bookstore or the coffee shops. I might do that--bookstores especially would be places I might find guys that would be good matches for me.

quote:

Besideherself - I don't think that you aren't good looking. Yes, I am a woman, but I think that you are attractive. I think that you'll find men who are interested in you - you'll see! (Let's just hope they won't be the perverts :).


quote:

Besiderherself, I too wanted to tell you that you could hold your own in any crowd, but I couldn't think of how to put it into just the right words. Some man will count himself as very fortunate to win your heart one day, not just because of your appearance, but because of your heart for the Lord. A man who deserves you will want a woman just like you.


Awww, geez, folks--that really makes me feel better. I know I'm very overweight, it's a life-long, genetic thing that only gets a little better when I work on it. I often feel that with that and the fact that I have four children and am getting older guys won't even look at me.

quote:

I'll say one thing- if you worry about your insecurities all the time, they will become increasingly real to everyone else. If someone doesn't find you attractive, so what? Let it go and move on. Remember, out of 6.5 billion people on this planet, God has one for you, and all it takes is one.


I've seen people like this...that worry about their insecurities all the time and they become self-fulfilling prophecies. I don't want to be like that.

This probably has been kind of covered on the various attraction threads, but one thing that I think I have trouble with is that I think if I go over all the facts (overweight, older, four kids, etc.) I'm being realistic. It may sound silly, but it's sometimes hard to keep the hope...just having the hope of eventually remarrying in my heart is distracting and painful. I keep thinking if I just convince myself that it could never happen I can quit thinking about it, feel better, and get on with life. Or perhaps I just feel that I NEED to be realistic. Or something.

Thing is, it's not working. I still have the hope, I still want it. It still hurts...a lot some times. It's been 9 years, coming up on 10. I wonder often if that is just God trying to tell me to let go of the idea entirely. But I can't really face that.

Has anybody else dealt with this? Is it being "realistic" or just letting the insecurities take over? If so, what's the scriptural thing to do?

besiderself


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RE: The Meet Market - 3/23/2008 10:01:11 PM   
trinigirl722


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From: Dallas, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy

This talk about How To Find A Date Worth Keeping has reminded me to pull out my book. While I don't agree with everything in the book, it has helped me to come out of my shell quite a bit over the past couple of years and to look at dating in a whole new way. Henry Cloud has been ministering to singles for a long time - I've been reading his articles & books for about 18 years. I'm hoping to get to meet him next month at a conference.


Yes, I have immense respect for both Townsend and Cloud and have had ever since I read Boundaries. I'm really curious about Finding a Date Worth Keeping now; I'll have to read it.

The thing that stuck with me most when I went to his conference a couple of years ago was that he emphasized personal responsibility, which I can buy. I think it's important to balance that with waiting on the Lord, as you said, RGod. (And BTW, Cloud said that at one of his conferences a woman came up to him and told him she'd married the FedEx man, whom she met when she was just sitting at home! ) But while we do need to wait on the Lord, I think sometimes Christians use waiting on God as an excuse to be passive. There are many scriptures where God tells people to actually get out and do something first before he blesses them, so I can accept the idea of having to do the hard work of getting out there to meet people if we expect for God to bless us with a spouse. But as you say, RGod, the most important thing is to obey what the Holy Spirit is telling us to do.

Speaking of Cloud and Townsend, here's their website that has a lot of cool video clips on dating and many other aspects of relationships: http://www.cloudtownsend.com
Post #: 191
RE: The Meet Market - 3/25/2008 6:17:44 PM   
rgod


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Update: I went out on the date. I chose a place a little ways away from my house that wasn't too expensive and that normally has a bit of a crowd. We went during the day. While not being a disaster, it isn't something I want to repeat. Conversation was an effort and eventually it came to a standstill. Wierd, because we spoke so well at the store earlier this week. I found out that, although he grew up in church, that he is not a believer. He was also a bit odd and kind of vague, plus he asked a few questions that seemed somewhat invasive. I sidestepped them pretty neatly. He passed the conversation off as him having had a bad day, but something just wasn't quite right. Although he wants to go out again, that was our first and last date.

Even though there have been some disappointments thus far, I have to say that because I am approaching this as a learning experience, I feel like overall, the experience is positive. If nothing else, it will help me to appreciate my husband when he comes. I also learned a lot about how important it has been for me to control where we meet for the first few dates (I thought I was being bossy - but I'm glad I was now.) Even though I met this guy in person, the e-harmony safety principles were so helpful.

So that is the update ... we'll see what happens next!

rgod
Post #: 192
RE: The Meet Market - 3/25/2008 10:19:35 PM   
trinigirl722


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quote:

ORIGINAL: rgod

He was also a bit odd and kind of vague, plus he asked a few questions that seemed somewhat invasive. ... Although he wants to go out again, that was our first and last date.


Good call! Invasive questions to me are always a red flag.

quote:

... I also learned a lot about how important it has been for me to control where we meet for the first few dates (I thought I was being bossy - but I'm glad I was now.) Even though I met this guy in person, the e-harmony safety principles were so helpful.


Yes, that Eharmony stuff can really come in handy even when not directly related to the web site! I'm glad it helped. And you have every right to be in control of your surroundings when on a date -- nothing wrong with that at all. If someone thinks it's bossy, that's their problem. The important thing is your safety.

Thanks for sharing!
Post #: 193
RE: The Meet Market - 3/25/2008 11:25:45 PM   
Prairiehiker


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quote:

ORIGINAL: rgod



Even though there have been some disappointments thus far, I have to say that because I am approaching this as a learning experience, I feel like overall, the experience is positive. If nothing else, it will help me to appreciate my husband when he comes. I also learned a lot about how important it has been for me to control where we meet for the first few dates (I thought I was being bossy - but I'm glad I was now.) Even though I met this guy in person, the e-harmony safety principles were so helpful.

So that is the update ... we'll see what happens next!

rgod


I'm glad you took a chance to go and get to know if this person has any potential to be your life partner. I would just remind people who are in the dating world to look at our dates as people, not as someone we go out with in order to learn how to date. Let's not use people like that. If someone was to view us as people to experiment new dating techniques with, that would hurt, wouldn't it. Let's look at our dates as people that are special in God's eyes, as well as people who are desperately wanting to connect with another human being. Though we may not be the person suited for them, let's try to at least leave a positive impression in them to carry them through to their next date with whoever.

I'm all for walking away as soon as you see a red flag or if there's no chemistry. However, first date jitters always plague many of us. You know, that nervousness you feel that makes you feel like a complete airhead who can't piece together two words that make an intelligent sentence. Yeah, that happens always in first dates. So, determine if the lack of flow in conversation was due to first date jitters or just lack of interest. It's likely the second one by the sound of your post.
Post #: 194
RE: The Meet Market - 3/26/2008 4:10:13 AM   
rgod


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quote:

I'm glad you took a chance to go and get to know if this person has any potential to be your life partner. I would just remind people who are in the dating world to look at our dates as people, not as someone we go out with in order to learn how to date. Let's not use people like that. If someone was to view us as people to experiment new dating techniques with, that would hurt, wouldn't it. Let's look at our dates as people that are special in God's eyes, as well as people who are desperately wanting to connect with another human being. Though we may not be the person suited for them, let's try to at least leave a positive impression in them to carry them through to their next date with whoever.


Thanks for your response and for the reminder in the first paragraph. I think that you are right and that I might have lost sight of this. My approach to dating has been that it is a way to meet new people who might be potential mates (since my ultimate goal is marriage) while we each learn about each other and ourselves in the process. On one hand, I like looking at it that way because it takes pressure off and if both people look at dating in this way, it can be a very rewarding experience. But on the other hand, it is possible to reduce the person to a set of lessons - and not as a whole person. In retrospect, I think I was focused more on myself, particularly since I'm new to this. So thanks, this was a well needed correction and I'll take that with me as I date further.

quote:

I'm all for walking away as soon as you see a red flag or if there's no chemistry. However, first date jitters always plague many of us. You know, that nervousness you feel that makes you feel like a complete airhead who can't piece together two words that make an intelligent sentence. Yeah, that happens always in first dates. So, determine if the lack of flow in conversation was due to first date jitters or just lack of interest. It's likely the second one by the sound of your post.


The thing that gave me not want to have a second date was only partially due to the stilted conversation/lack of chemistry. I'm aware that sometimes these things happen because everybody's nervous (including me!!!) But the main red flag for me was the fact that he isn't a christian (so there could be no long term relationship - and I'm pretty sure that he was in the market for that) and also the questions (a bit too focused on exactly where I live, how many roommates I have, etc.). There was something kind of disquieting there. He isn't dishonest or anything like that. But there is something going on with him mentally and emotionally ... I can't put my finger on it ... but I do know that I'm not to go on a second date.

Thanks for your response, you gave me a lot to think about.

rgod
Post #: 195
RE: The Meet Market - 3/26/2008 2:38:49 PM   
John_O

 

Posts: 8015
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rgod
But the main red flag for me was the fact that he isn't a christian


That's teh main killer for me. I won't even get to teh first date if she's not a Christian

_____________________________

Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
Post #: 196
RE: The Meet Market - 3/26/2008 7:41:22 PM   
Prairiehiker


Posts: 3264
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: John_O

quote:

ORIGINAL: rgod
But the main red flag for me was the fact that he isn't a christian


That's teh main killer for me. I won't even get to teh first date if she's not a Christian


I'm with John on this one. I won't go out on a date with someone who's not a Christ follower. I've gone down that road so many times because of physical attraction and chemistry. But as the relationship progressed, I always found an excuse to bail. And now I know that deep inside, it was because of lack of spiritual connection and compatibility. I won't marry someone who isn't a true Christ follower so why bother dating them. I'd keep them as friends though.
Post #: 197
RE: The Meet Market - 3/26/2008 10:39:46 PM   
trinigirl722


Posts: 324
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Dallas, TX
Status: offline
I wont' go on a date with someone who's not a Christian, either. That's the number one rule in dating for me. The Bible talks about not being unequally yoked, and I think that applies to dating as well as marriage.
Post #: 198
RE: The Meet Market - 3/27/2008 11:36:21 AM   
ShallbeRebuilt


Posts: 2205
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline
Ok...

well, here's an interesting situation:

How do I get guys to LOOK AT MY PROFILE?

I mean, they don't even click on it to look, so it can't be that they see the pic and are turned off.

I suppose one reason could be because some guys just join for free, and then don't have the paid subscription to use the communication. Alright, so there's nothing I can do about that. But what percentage of the matches are that, do you suppose?

Or do you think that guys join eHarmony and then find that they are too scared to start communicating?

I guess I'm just gonna have to take the "I prefer the fellow to make the first move" message off my profile and just start the communications.

And here's another issue:

One guy and I have gotten to open communication. But days will pass between my replies to his messages and his answers. So I just sent him a message saying "hey, I want to get to know you, but it's going to be hard if we never talk. Is there something I need to know?"

Should I have said that? Was that too pushy?


besiderself


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SHALLBE’S BATTY BELFRY

Post #: 199
RE: The Meet Market - 3/27/2008 12:23:33 PM   
derek_from_canada