quote:

ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam

Okay, I read this article. It was OK. But it was fraught with serial references to TV and movies. I couldn't help but think how this author is just a sound bite leaping from the big or small screen. What she's stabbing at in her article is to figure out how to be content in whatever state you are. TV and movies--all of which she references, do not allow you to do that. They romanticize EVERYTHING. Not only that, they put value and worth on certain individuals. There is: The nerd, the stud, the dud, and the bud. But these are all characters, they are evaluating people based on physical and personality characteristics. God values us on something different. But as long as the sum total and value of the individual we are seeking can be quantified in terms of physically or charming characteristics, there will always be a "better version" out there.

This author, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. This is a lady, that in all of her doing is still not yet content. She vainly thinks that getting married will do that for her. Just as she thought getting artificially inseminated, big career, dating big shots, big house, kids, etc. would complete her life. It hasn't and she's disappointed. This woman has not learned how to be CONTENT. The Bible says godliness with contentment is great gain. That's what she's missing. I venture that the poor dear would not be content even if she married some guy. She'd next write a book called, "What Was I thinking When I Settled for Him?"

Another point she made, that I think is optimal to understanding her article and the vantage point from which she writes is this quote:

quote:

After all, wouldn’t it have been wiser to settle for a higher caliber of “not Mr. Right” while my marital value was at its peak?

Marital Value, now that's a concept. This is really getting down to the heart of the matter. When she was "young and hot" in her mind, she could be a bit more cavalier. Now that she's "old and cold" she's trying for anything she can get. This is in essence putting a value on herself in the same way that she has put a value on the men that she has turned down in the past. She's literally become the victem of her own flawwed thinking. Now, she thinks she's not "worth" as much as she was 10 years ago, and so the best idea is to "just settle." It's like buying discounted pastries. It's on sale now that it doesn't have much shelf life on it. The baker/grocer is just glad to sell it for almost anything he can get.

And yeah, she means, "settle."

Personally, I think women and men do have a TV/Movie reel going in their head--just like this author. You can tell she does, because she quantifies her own worth and the worth of others based on some physical characteristics. In fact, the guy she said she'd gone on a date with seemed to have sever personal problems and yet she was thinking, maybe I'll just settle for him[I'm not worth that much anyway]. **gross**

Settling for me is marrying someone who:

1. Does not meet God's standard of being a christian.
2. Violates God's principles
3. Is disgusting and repugnant to me

Quite frankly, God in His graciousness has taught me contentment. I am greatly content. This makes it possible for me to be content with someone else. I know that with God's help and discernment I will be able to detect godly characteristics. I strive not to put value on one person above another.

I think if we focus on finding the godly spiritual beauty in a person, we will find Mr./Mrs. Right. Finding Mr./Mrs. Right is as much of a choice and choosing to be content.

quote:

ORIGINAL: auntiesis

The problem I have with settling for "good enough" is whether he knows the Lord or not. If he doesn't the Lord, then that man is basically off limits, because we would then be unequally yoked. So we have to be care. There may be a person who comes along and we are not "in love" with that person, but who happens to be our best friend. That person may become the right person, because God and the Holy Spirit got involved in it.

quote:

Settling for me is marrying someone who:

1. Does not meet God's standard of being a christian.
2. Violates God's principles
3. Is disgusting and repugnant to me

quote:

ORIGINAL: AdrianaS

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam

Okay, I read this article. It was OK. But it was fraught with serial references to TV and movies. I couldn't help but think how this author is just a sound bite leaping from the big or small screen. What she's stabbing at in her article is to figure out how to be content in whatever state you are. TV and movies--all of which she references, do not allow you to do that. They romanticize EVERYTHING. Not only that, they put value and worth on certain individuals. There is: The nerd, the stud, the dud, and the bud. But these are all characters, they are evaluating people based on physical and personality characteristics. God values us on something different. But as long as the sum total and value of the individual we are seeking can be quantified in terms of physically or charming characteristics, there will always be a "better version" out there.

This author, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. This is a lady, that in all of her doing is still not yet content. She vainly thinks that getting married will do that for her. Just as she thought getting artificially inseminated, big career, dating big shots, big house, kids, etc. would complete her life. It hasn't and she's disappointed. This woman has not learned how to be CONTENT. The Bible says godliness with contentment is great gain. That's what she's missing. I venture that the poor dear would not be content even if she married some guy. She'd next write a book called, "What Was I thinking When I Settled for Him?"

Another point she made, that I think is optimal to understanding her article and the vantage point from which she writes is this quote:

quote:

After all, wouldn’t it have been wiser to settle for a higher caliber of “not Mr. Right” while my marital value was at its peak?

Marital Value, now that's a concept. This is really getting down to the heart of the matter. When she was "young and hot" in her mind, she could be a bit more cavalier. Now that she's "old and cold" she's trying for anything she can get. This is in essence putting a value on herself in the same way that she has put a value on the men that she has turned down in the past. She's literally become the victem of her own flawwed thinking. Now, she thinks she's not "worth" as much as she was 10 years ago, and so the best idea is to "just settle." It's like buying discounted pastries. It's on sale now that it doesn't have much shelf life on it. The baker/grocer is just glad to sell it for almost anything he can get.

And yeah, she means, "settle."

Personally, I think women and men do have a TV/Movie reel going in their head--just like this author. You can tell she does, because she quantifies her own worth and the worth of others based on some physical characteristics. In fact, the guy she said she'd gone on a date with seemed to have sever personal problems and yet she was thinking, maybe I'll just settle for him[I'm not worth that much anyway]. **gross**

Settling for me is marrying someone who:

1. Does not meet God's standard of being a christian.
2. Violates God's principles
3. Is disgusting and repugnant to me

Quite frankly, God in His graciousness has taught me contentment. I am greatly content. This makes it possible for me to be content with someone else. I know that with God's help and discernment I will be able to detect godly characteristics. I strive not to put value on one person above another.

I think if we focus on finding the godly spiritual beauty in a person, we will find Mr./Mrs. Right. Finding Mr./Mrs. Right is as much of a choice and choosing to be content.

Yep, I do agree with you.

Here you go Dakota, you brillant!

quote:

ORIGINAL: ajlewis

quote:

Settling for me is marrying someone who:

1. Does not meet God's standard of being a christian.
2. Violates God's principles
3. Is disgusting and repugnant to me

Why would you even consider marrying someone like this in the first place?
Would you consider marrying someone who's disgusting and repugnant but he's a Christian? (or pretends to be?)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam

reminds me of the "Matchmaker" song in Fiddler on the Roof

quote:

OK. Now I'm going to either have to watch fiddler on the roof, or tour the diamond match company.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam

John_O,

I've always wanted to know how matches were made! Take a tour and let me know how it works!

Elena,

TO LIFE!!! LOL.

quote:

Doesn't it say somewhere that if we are looking for someone, we should ask God and He will bring to us the person meant for you or me?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Osano

I agree. Using the bible as an example, I don't know where it promotes women to be a damsel in distress(air head). The bible promotes godly women to be intelligent and have a passion for Christ (married or single) e.g. Abigail, Proverbs 31 woman is a business woman and a homemaker. If a woman is beautiful on the outside as well as the inside that is a prize! Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, the bible does point out beautiful women as well e.g. Esther, Sarah.

quote:

God gave everyone a brain for a reason, and personally it is the sexiest organ. Nice hair and teeth may catch your eye but it takes a lot more than that to keep me:)