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benelchi -> RE: Settling for Mr "Good Enough" and not Mr Right (2/28/2008 4:44:16 PM)
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Although there were some points in this article that came a little bit close to Christian values, I stand strongly in agreement that on the whole the article was rubbish.
Here is a conclusion the author of this article made:
"They, like me, would rather feel alone in a marriage than actually be alone, because they, like me, realize that marriage ultimately isn’t about cosmic connection — it’s about how having a teammate, even if he’s not the love of your life, is better than not having one at all."
To me, that is clearly "settling" for something far less than God desires for us. Marriage is not simple about not being alone, but about choosing to love and serve our spouse. Those who marry someone who is not the love of their life, simply to avoid being alone, are acting selfishly; they are looking out only for their own interests, and not the interests of the person they are marrying. A marriage the reflects Godly standards is one that put the needs of our spouse above our own desires; making the choice to make sure that our spouse is always the love of our life, even at the times where that is difficult to do.
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Did everyone read the same article as I did? I don't think it was rubbish. I found it interesting someone, of a very secular mindset, would finally realize what I believe Christians should already know.......that marriage is not about finding Mr. Right but settling on someone who has the qualities you are seeking and allowing God to mold and shape both of you through the relationship into Mr and Mrs. Right.
I believe she made excellent points alluding to what I would call the Cinderella syndrome which is not limited to the secular world.......I know many Christian women who are seeking a fairly tale being disappointed over and over when prince charming turns out to be nothing more then a character created in their imagination.
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However, too often in Christian circles, "settling" means compromising Godly standards often to gain a spouse that offers things that have no eternal value i.e. physical beauty, money, status, etc... When "settling" means compromising in areas that God's word tell us are nonnegotiable, then doing so is in itself sinful.
This was the main jest I got out of the article.........In the secular world settling is when we are willing to compromise things such as looks, money, statue etc for character traits which in a way are very biblical (even if the person doesn't realize it) such as being a good husband, providing for the family, being active in raising the children. As Christians, the things which are most important to us, often seem like settling in the secular world.
The whole article was basically saying those things we, as Christians, seek in a mate are worthy of settling on for they lead to a happier marriage.
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