RE: ready for marriage? (Full Version)

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ladyingrace1979 -> RE: ready for marriage? (4/17/2008 12:57:17 AM)

I didn't say that was my only criteria. Just that that was one that I understand best of the others. Unfortunately I didn't understand it until after I was married but by God's grace I did understand. It took a lot of pressure off my husband and focused me on Christ as my sourse.
Kim Q




sunluvingirl -> RE: ready for marriage? (4/17/2008 8:31:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladyingrace1979

I didn't say that was my only criteria. Just that that was one that I understand best of the others. Unfortunately I didn't understand it until after I was married but by God's grace I did understand. It took a lot of pressure off my husband and focused me on Christ as my sourse.
Kim Q

I think that is a VERY good point that everyone needs to realize in order to have a truly good relationship, whether it be marriage or any other relationship. Another human simply cannot fill our God-given desires or needs.




HisCovenant -> RE: ready for marriage? (4/17/2008 9:57:47 AM)

Assuming we're speaking of a believer wanting to marry: The only scriptural criteria is that the spouse be a believer. If that is true, no matter how immature you both are, everything else should fall into place as you grow and mature (which are marks of a true Christian.) I think seeing that growth and maturity are marks that you have found a potential spouse. By default, you will have to be growing and maturing to recognize it another. IMO, when you have two Christians, the list NoDumbBlonde gave happens. It may not be things you see and understand before the marriage, but it's the bonding of two into one.




MsSara -> RE: ready for marriage? (4/22/2008 9:59:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoDumbBlonde

When are you ready for marriage?

1. When you have become the person you want to become (education, career, etc.).
2. When a partner becomes an asset and not a requirement to your own happiness.
3. When you cannot imagine life without them and see yourself growing old together.
4. When you are willing to give 100% 100% of the time regardless of how much/little they give or how you feel.
5. When you can share openly without any fear all your hopes and dreams, fears and failures, thoughts and feelings.
6. When there are no red flags in the back of your mind about ANYTHING.
7. When you realize that this person is truly your BFF.
8. When the Holy Spirit confirms that this is the person God has chosen for you.
9. When you realize that divorce is NOT an option and that the marriage covenant is for life.
10. When you realize that you won't be right all the time and that its ok if you're not.
11. When you realize that its more important that they can be themselves instead of who and what you want them to become.
12. When you can put their needs above your own.
13. When you can love and respect them even when you don't feel like it.
14. When you realize that they are not a child and you are not their parent but their partner.
15. When they are ready too.

That's when you are ready for marriage! [:)]
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt!


I think this is good advice but I would definitly have to say that numbers 8 and 9 should be numbers 2 and 3 and number 1 should say when you've become the person God wants you to be.
The best way to know when you've got the right one is when you have found someone who through your relationship together you both grow closer to God. That's what its all about because in the end its you and God, not you and your partner.




Anamchara -> RE: ready for marriage? (4/23/2008 12:05:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BugLady

When my Father says "This one's safe. It's okay now."


Amen! What a day that will be... I havnt come to it yet. My father has higher standards than I do, and I thought mine were up there. All in all nothing that I dont ask of myself. Neat to hear you have this relationship with your father, so do I!




vixir -> RE: ready for marriage? (4/26/2008 11:04:27 PM)

Unfortunately, I *am* ready for marriage right now. And that's unfortunate, because I'm involved with someone who doesn't "believe" in marriage. It took many years for me to get here, though. Yes, I'm only 23, but I've always been too selfish to think of marriage. I wasn't ready nor willing to submit to my husband, the way a Christian woman should. So I would have to say that I was ready about 3 years ago.




HisCovenant -> RE: ready for marriage? (4/27/2008 10:47:08 AM)

Actually, if you are with someone who doesn't "believe in marriage," you have at least one more step to take before you are ready for marriage.




vixir -> RE: ready for marriage? (4/27/2008 11:00:58 AM)

How so? I am ready for marriage and I wanna get married. What does my boyfriends views about marriage have to do with whether or not I myself, am ready?




HisCovenant -> RE: ready for marriage? (4/27/2008 11:31:33 AM)

The fact that you would date a man who doesn't "believe in marriage" says that you aren't choosing well.




BugLady -> RE: ready for marriage? (4/27/2008 2:14:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisCovenant

The fact that you would date a man who doesn't "believe in marriage" says that you aren't choosing well.


Precisely. A boyfriend who doesn't believe in marriage will keep you, well- unmarried. In the meantime, a great guy who does believe in marriage will marry a woman who is ready to marry him.




vixir -> RE: ready for marriage? (4/28/2008 10:43:08 AM)

I get what you're saying. But when we got together, he never said that he didn't wanna get married. In fact, later on in our relationship, he told me that he wants to get married. But it was always up and down -- our relationship and him wanting to get married. I guess it all depended on whether or not we weren't fighting a lot, heh. [8|]




rgod -> RE: ready for marriage? (4/28/2008 1:32:16 PM)

I think I'm ready, but not desperate about it. Does that make sense? When I meet the right person, I'll be ready, I definitely date/go out with that in mind in terms of who I will spend a lot of time with etc., but until the time comes I'm not wringing my hands over it.




ladyamythist -> RE: ready for marriage? (5/3/2008 1:03:32 PM)

I run like crazy, so I don't know that I ever would know.




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