RE: Kicka, part 3 (Full Version)

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nicole6598 -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/5/2008 8:34:43 PM)

Stacy I think you could be right about Christians thinking they need to busy and involved in everything. Hubby's family is from that line of thought, never time for family because of the church. But we have seen some good pastors come through our church who made sure family came first and that we put our families first too and once things were right THEN serve, no point serving if your family is falling by the wayside. OUr new pastor also doesn't want anyone doing things that are not in their gifting or overloading themselves. There are times when you do have to do things that are not in your gifting if you have a small church like mine, but its something to aim for.

I am good with accents, my mum's family is Irish and my Dad's is Greek (my Yaya taught herself how to speak English by watching Days of our Lives[:D]) so I have to be very patient and understanding with her, there are only a few of us in the family who can get what she is talking about, I have to translate alot! Hubby has NO idea what she is saying to him, but to me it's not THAT bad.



danas_mom -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/5/2008 9:32:56 PM)

Re: making friends with young children - I have found it very, very difficult to make new friends after having kids. If I try to get together with someone who has kids, we spend all of our time chasing after respective children and don't have any time to talk to each other. If hubby and I try to get together with another couple, I am usually the one constantly up and down with the kids, which again takes me completely out of the conversation. Other people may have the type of kids who are happy to play and leave the grownups to talk, but I don't. Never have. [&:]

I can't remember who said in the Part 2 thread that people are more drawn to her hubby than her, but that describes my hubby and I exactly. Hubby has a ton of friends - he has hunting/fishing buddies, geocaching buddies, going to ball games buddies, church buddies, gaming buddies, the list goes on. Me? I'm at home with the kids. [>:] I haven't had someone I could call a real friend IRL in......at least 10 years. It gets lonely. Even if we're somewhere that both of us can be in the conversation - like after church before we pick the kids up - I just stand there smiling and nodding while they spend all their time talking to hubby.

I'm thankful for the internet because I have at least three people I am really close to (one I have met IRL, two I haven't but hope to some day) but it's just not the same as having someone you can chat with face to face.



Krislynx -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/5/2008 9:34:18 PM)

I classify "friends" 3 ways - acquaintance, friend, and close/good friend. Acquaintances are people from the gym, library play group etc. I don't have a problem becoming friends with those people, just hasn't happened. Friends are hang out, play games, meet for dinner type. Then good friends would be the deep conversation, similar world view, stay up until 2 am eating pepperoni and mushroom pizza talking about life (can you tell I haven't had one nearby since college?) type. The last 2 groups are pretty fluid in my mind, I just know that some people will never really fall into that 3rd group. Now having said all that I do not have a single friend (other then Mark) in the state of CT. I can call my SIL, little sis and good friend in DE if I need to really talk but it is not the same as having someone to actually visit with in person. I do see SIL once a month but that is a family thing. I want friends so badly it hurts. It has been something I have struggle with for most of my life. A couple of times we have had friends as a couple to spend time with and just be social but I have not had a really close friend in over 10 years that was close enough to see regularly. Most of our "couple" friends have been singles over the years. We love to have people over, hang out etc. And I don't care about marital status, gender (I would not hang out with men alone obviously) or children/no children. I just want people that I can talk to. I think it is really sad when we dismiss people based on where they are in life - one of the most interesting people I ever knew was a divorced man in his late 30s (we were 22) who was a dedicated Jehovah's Witness. I am with Jess as far as the baby angle (well not exactly, we only have the one), I can't see restricting myself to being friends with people who also have a baby the same age as Bug. There are far too many interesting folks out there!

Kris



paulsbride -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/5/2008 10:07:19 PM)

quote:

I hope you guys find it easy to hang out with friends and 2 babies. Hopefully people just come over to your place when it seems like it is a no go to bring 2 babies out. I would rather go to someones house if they had kids than have them come over here and lug tons of stuff to our house. We have nothing here for kids so they would be soooo bored.


I didn't mean we'd find it a burden, just that it would be more work coordinating such events - we'll have a walking, talking little dude, and an infant - I think Judah's pretty much out of his sitting through movie stage.
I am sure he'll behave at restaurants or coffee shops. He has no choice [8D] And yes, I'd rather have people over just because then I don't have to worry about him getting into stuff! He knows his boundaries in our house, but not at others homes! Nicole, you and Lorne are welcome here anytime [:D] (and if we ever go to your house Judah would love a pot and measuring spoon!)

Soooo guess what?!?! I was at prayer meeting tonight and thinking about this thread. It amazes me how God works things out. I am sitting there thinking "who might be lonely for a friend, who can I reach out to?" and this one lady came to mind. She is probably 13 years older than me, she has a 6 yr old, and about a month ago her husband left her - I have always smiled at done small talk with her, but nothing more. I just DID NOT know what to say to her, I have never been anywhere close to her situation, and just felt small and insignificant and didn't have any common ground with her.
But she was really on my heart tonight, so I asked her if she wanted to go to a church consignment sale that's coming up on Friday, and she said yes [:)] Her son will be in school, and I will leave Judah with Paul, so it'll be just us.
Me thinking about making friends this evening at prayer meeting is directly connected to this thread [:)] So thanks for giving me that challenge ladies!! I am excited to get to know this lady better, and hopefully become friends!



paulsbride -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/5/2008 11:09:42 PM)

I was asked tonight to put together a 3-4 minute skit for next week using some of the teenagers. The theme to convey is "Righteous Anger" .... [8|]
You're a creative bunch, could some of you throw me some ideas to work with? So far I've had one idea, and I mentioned it to Paul and he said "Let's keep thinking..." [8D]

*Someone else is doing a skit on unrighteous anger, so I can't do anything along those lines.



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/5/2008 11:52:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: InBetweenDreams

quote:

But we all value and respect each other for where we're at, and for our different roles in the body of Christ.


That is awesome! That is how we, as Christians are supposed to be! We should be able to be friends with everyone we go to church with. That would be awesome if it were like that everywhere. I am glad you have such a great church to go to!

Jessica, I too find it to be silly when people make new friends and/or ditch old friends just so their baby has a friend. I think that stuff has to happen naturally. I hope you guys find it easy to hang out with friends and 2 babies. Hopefully people just come over to your place when it seems like it is a no go to bring 2 babies out. I would rather go to someones house if they had kids than have them come over here and lug tons of stuff to our house. We have nothing here for kids so they would be soooo bored. [&:]


See, I haven't sought out friends just so that Gabby can have a "friend" because she already has 3 cousins her age. I have sought them out because *I* need other mommy RL fellowship. *I* need some sort of fellowship with women who are at the same stage in life, and who are having some of the same struggles(keeping the house clean, balancing schedules, etc...) and someone who understands that bedtime is at 7:30 amnd meltdowns occur at 9pm and that's just life with a wee one. BUT our closest friends are still the ones without kids *shrug*.

I've really been praying about making other mommy friends because while we have a slew of other newly married couple friends we aren't friends with any other parents. Ya know what? I met a lovely woman in the nursing room at church and we swapped numbers. Isn't God good?[:)]



PrincessDonna -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/6/2008 8:00:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: paulsbride

I was asked tonight to put together a 3-4 minute skit for next week using some of the teenagers. The theme to convey is "Righteous Anger" .... [8|]
You're a creative bunch, could some of you throw me some ideas to work with? So far I've had one idea, and I mentioned it to Paul and he said "Let's keep thinking..." [8D]

*Someone else is doing a skit on unrighteous anger, so I can't do anything along those lines.


How about some teenagers beating (well, pretending to beat) on a homeless person? And then passers-by intervening? Saw it on one of those Dateline "What would you do?" episodes.

Many of my friends do have kids the same ages as my kids. We just have a lot in common at this point in our lives. But some of my best friends are those with all teenagers...and I'm watching everything they do so I have some clue when mine get there. LOL Their kids are also wonderful babysitters.[:D]

And then there's the bunch with no kids or kids all grown. When we do things with them, we usually either leave the kids with someone or have everyone come here and the little ones just pass out where ever. Levi's the only one that will go to sleep if people are here visiting.



TwinCityGirl -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/6/2008 10:37:52 AM)

Hello:

Sarah
Donna
DebbieLynne
Rachel
Purejoy
Nicole/AUS
Dana's Mom
Kris
and
Ryanne!

I just wanted to make sure to greet everybody that made the trek over to part 3 of this thread. Thanks for stopping by! [sm=wave.gif] Everybody brings their own angle and it's always good to read different perspectives, same perspectives, new and unthought of perspectives. Thank you all for sharing your stories here.

Jeanie



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/6/2008 10:58:00 AM)

Jeanie...can you do a weekly check-in in the pregnancy thread for us, cause I know you are getting into the end here and we want to keep up with you (and pray) as best we can. So can ya....huh huh huh.....PWWWEEEEEZZZZEEEEEEE

Jessica....I have no clue....but I will think about it while we are doing chore time. OOPS...speaking of, I need to get busy on that...it's after ten and I try to do it at 10 every day!!! TTFN



InBetweenDreams -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/6/2008 12:09:38 PM)

quote:

family came first and that we put our families first too and once things were right THEN serve, no point serving if your family is falling by the wayside

Good pastor!
quote:

my Yaya taught herself how to speak English by watching Days of our Lives

LOL that is so cute and funny! [:D]
quote:

I can't remember who said in the Part 2 thread that people are more drawn to her hubby than her, but that describes my hubby and I exactly. Hubby has a ton of friends - he has hunting/fishing buddies, geocaching buddies, going to ball games buddies, church buddies, gaming buddies, the list goes on. Me? I'm at home with the kids. I haven't had someone I could call a real friend IRL in......at least 10 years. It gets lonely. Even if we're somewhere that both of us can be in the conversation - like after church before we pick the kids up - I just stand there smiling and nodding while they spend all their time talking to hubby.

That was me. Lorne doesn't have many friends so that is the difference. He knows people from work that are friendly, and he keeps in touch with peole from his last job, but he doesn't have people to hang out with... yet. But yeah... at church it got annoying when ladies would talk to my husband just because he plays guitar. [8|] They constantly tried to get him to play at church. It made me mad that they would always talk to him to get them to play and totally ignore me even though I was standing or sitting right next to him. I would say hi and they would walk away. [:D] It makes me sad that you are treated this way. It just doesn't make sense to me... By the way, when we are around non-Christians people talk to me WAY more than when we are at church.
quote:

I think it is really sad when we dismiss people based on where they are in life

That is sad. I too would just love people to talk to. Especially people who love to talk about God and Godly things. And also people who just like to have fun and stay up and talk or go out on a whim. [:)]
quote:

Nicole, you and Lorne are welcome here anytime (and if we ever go to your house Judah would love a pot and measuring spoon!)

LOL we have pots and lots of spoons! [:D] And lots of pets too. They have tails that can be pulled! [;)][:D]
quote:

Me thinking about making friends this evening at prayer meeting is directly connected to this thread So thanks for giving me that challenge ladies!! I am excited to get to know this lady better, and hopefully become friends!

That is awesome Jess!

quote:

Ya know what? I met a lovely woman in the nursing room at church and we swapped numbers. Isn't God good?


That's great! [:)]



myckey -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/6/2008 3:58:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2

I think with patience (at least with me I have seen over the years) that it's all about the mentality you have. If you are rushing through this one task so you can get to the next task and rush through it to go to the next one (like my mom always is) then patience is hard to find in situations like friendship, etc. But when you stop and smell the roses, and you stop and look at the faces of the people around you, or you allow time to form something then you see things that God intended us all to see. As a mom I can relate to this with my kids. Some of the best times I have seen the hand of God at work in everyday life were when we stopped and didn't rush by things. Like when we sat at the park feeding a bee a soda one drop at a time. Or when we were walking around town and would stop to look at the flowers and I could see their faces light up when we found a lady bug. Things like that people miss out on in their rushing around town going from one thing to another. It's like that with friendship too...they are rushing from one person to another and they fail to see the special qualities and small things God has put in the people He has placed around them.


(((((((((((((((((((((Sarah)))))))))))))))))))) Thank you sooooo much for this post!! It's something I NEEDED to hear right now!

Jessica, that's AWESOME about the lady at the prayer meeting!!!

GOD IS SO AMAZING TO ME!!!!!



McGuinessMagee -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/6/2008 4:12:34 PM)

quote:

I just wanted to make sure to greet everybody that made the trek over to part 3 of this thread.


[sm=wave.gif][sm=wave.gif][sm=wave.gif]I made the trek! [>:] I've just been a little busy in my head with my new job and haven't been posting much.

Kylie[sm=silly.gif]



LaurainAL -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/6/2008 4:14:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: McGuinessMagee

quote:

I just wanted to make sure to greet everybody that made the trek over to part 3 of this thread.


[sm=wave.gif][sm=wave.gif][sm=wave.gif]I made the trek! [>:] I've just been a little busy in my head with my new job and haven't been posting much.

Kylie[sm=silly.gif]


Me too! I read a lot, but often don't have anything worth while to contribute.



nicole6598 -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/6/2008 4:15:00 PM)

How is work going Kylie? are you all coping with it? sorry, is that a chat thread question? [8D]



McGuinessMagee -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/6/2008 4:26:14 PM)

Nah, we can make it serious - the impact of sudden and drastic changes to the family lifestyle. [;)] LOL

I'm doing well, still quite overwhelmed with the workload. But that wouldn't seem quite so high except that we're expected to attend meetings every morning and a longer meeting on Wednesday. If I didn't have to do that I would have more than sufficient time to get everything done.

Kylie[sm=silly.gif]



InBetweenDreams -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/6/2008 4:29:14 PM)

Why so many meetings? [&:] What a boring way to start a day! I always almost fell asleep at every meeting I have ever gone to. [8D]



McGuinessMagee -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/6/2008 4:31:11 PM)

It's actually a necessary part of the job - the quickest and easiest way of information sharing with the entire office. It's just a part of the job I can see myself not enjoying and finding that it gets in the way of what I do like about the job.

Kylie[sm=silly.gif]



nicole6598 -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/6/2008 4:32:42 PM)

any way you can make the meetings go quicker?



InBetweenDreams -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/6/2008 4:33:11 PM)

Ah, I guess it makes sense to have meetings everyday...how long do they last for?

I hope it doesn't get in the way of you really liking your job.



McGuinessMagee -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/6/2008 4:38:59 PM)

So far 20 - 30 mins with Wed nearly an hour and no, they go as long as they have to.

Kylie[sm=silly.gif]



bride48 -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/6/2008 5:30:55 PM)

What sort of job, Kylie?



ThursdaysChild -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/7/2008 4:20:23 AM)

Aw, meetings. We have them almost everyday. Twice a day we have team meetings (with the other grade level teachers), once a week a staff meeting, and we all have our respective committees. I'm lucky if there's one day (besides the last day of the week) that I don't have a meeting and get lesson plans and/or grading worked on.

JEANNIEMy friend's little girl is better. The fever's gone and just a bit of red still on the face. Her mom probably has a redder face now, thanks to yesterday being Sports Day for our school and we spent 8-1 on a football field, supervising our students. LOL

No news yet on the man from church. Nothing in the church e-mails. We haven't been the last few weeks because with J no longer with us I have so much waiting for me on the weekends and I don't want to put it all off til Saturday since that would give me one day to get it done before school starts again on Sunday. Whew! And we've had a sandstorm (or at least high dust) this week so there was a major layer of dust on all my furniture this week.

We're moving this week. Yeah! It's slightly larger than our current place but a larger maid's room and we have a master bath. And the kitchen is bigger and more "user friendly" than this one. It's an older building than this one but better shape...the kids aren't running amok as bad since the building manager lives there...on our floor. [:D]

About friends being busy...I frequently neglect to call people and plan things. I get busy with the kids or I'm just worn out from school and want to be a home body, unless DH wants to go out somewhere. But if someone invites me I'm thrilled and will try to arrange things with DH to do it. I'm just lousy at being the one to ask unless it's last minute. I need to work on that but it's difficult when work is so time-consuming.

Ciao, ladies!



McGuinessMagee -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/7/2008 4:56:00 AM)

It's an office job working in job placement Debbielynne.

Well, I survived my first full week back at work for nine years. [:D]

Kylie[sm=silly.gif]



SAL67 -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/7/2008 8:05:43 AM)

I also have made the trek to part 3....I just don't always know what to say. It's always fun to read everyone's opinions, though.

My take on friendships. I am blessed with many good IRL friends. However, I have known many people who seem to be always "too busy" and a bit aloof. Sometimes I think people like that are actually afraid of being vulnerable. It's easier for them to keep people at arms length, and always being busy helps with that. I haven't yet figured out how to draw that type of person out, though.

SAL



InBetweenDreams -> RE: Kicka, part 3 (3/7/2008 11:14:55 AM)

Yay Kylie!!!! [:D]



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