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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/6/2008 3:27:01 PM
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TheEgyptianPrincess
Posts: 180
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
quote:
If you can afford it, you needn't feel guilty about it. I mean, would you feel less guilty if you had a teenage mother's helper come for free? I wouldn't. Help is help, paid or not.
Its not just the money... its the fact that i should be capable of doing it all myself.. I mean.. my mum did it.. she was a wonderful wife and mother..she loves (to this day) clean and cook and wash and blah blah.... and I guess cause my father passed away while I was young and so it was just me and her.... she spoiled me even MORE... as I grew older I worked and took over all the bills and so forth .. and she cooked and kept the house... you could kind of say I became the hubby (who had a curfew! heheh)
and so I grew up not doing very much.. and i went from living at home with mum to being married and getting pregnant within 6 months... i always blame her for not having the desire to do anything around the house.. I told her she ruined me!... I wish I could be like some of my other freinds who are very "homely"....I JUST DON"T LIKE IT....and even with my child... when she was here when he was first born.. she looked after him better than I did (my husband disagrees but Ithink he is just being nice).. the woman had energey to be up with him and change him 10 million times a day (even when he was not dirty).. just cause she was sick of that particular outfit... you see.. my mum to this day is like superwoman! she is in her mid 60's and she can out-do me any day....I love my mum so much and I appreciate everything she ever did for me... and I WANT to do the same thing for my kids as she did for me.... the love .. the care.. the peace.... know what I mean?
my hubby is a really easy going kind of guy and he really is understanding.. if I tell him I wasn't feeling too well so I didn't cook.. he is ok with it...and i am afraid I will take advantage of that if I stay home... the last thing I want is getting up late... sitting infront of tv all day... and by the time he comes home I am tired from not doing anything!! I have taken the odd vacation day where I would just stay home and do just that.... but by the end of it I would feel so bad cause i didn't really do anything... yet I still feel exhausted.... its bizzare!
Would it be silly of me to pray to God to give me the desire to want to do house work? to cook? .. to clean?... I mean I have much bigger problems/needs in my life.. that this seems silly to pray
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/6/2008 3:44:00 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 2532
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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Thank you for answering my questions, Harvie. I'm learning a lot through this thread, and I'm glad that you are happy. May God continue to bless you and your hubby.
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/6/2008 4:30:42 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4872
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Jesus Land
Status: offline
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Hi, I'm Lisa, and I'm a SAHM at the moment, anyway. I've been praying about getting a part time job, so that may change soon.
I was a SAHM for the first four years after we kids, and then I worked part time while my husband was in school, full time for a couple months after we moved back to Indiana while he stayed at home, and I've been a SAHM mom again for the last couple of years.
I enjoy having the time to do whatever I want to do and not have to work around my job. I like being able to spend a lot of time reading and pursuing my hobbies. I like not having to hurry up with the kids' school to get it done by a certain time so I can go to work.
On the other hand, financially we are on a fixed income now, and while we have enough to live on, we don't have enough to save to replace the vehicles or save for retirment. If one of us is going to work, it's going to have to be me. Since my husband will be here, I can work and not have to worry about sending them off to daycare though, and he can even help with the kids' schooling so it won't be so bad.
Another thing about being a SAHM that I miss is not being able to witness to my unsaved co-workers. However, I do have more time to focus on the spiritual upbringing of my own children, and that's definitely a worthy use of my time. 
I do love being able to make nicer meals and have time to keep the house cleaner. I have a schedule I keep that works very well for me.
_____________________________
<--My engagement picture. I was 16, he was 17 in this photo.
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/6/2008 4:41:11 PM
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JoyfulLady
Posts: 731
Joined: 6/20/2005
From: Kansas
Status: offline
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I'm Amber.
I've SAH since May 2006. At the time, we were TTC. Now, I have a 2 month old baby boy.
I never finished college, so didn't have many job options. I just didn't feel like that was what God was calling me to do. I worked as a CNA for a while but started getting reallllly stressed out and hating my job.
Best parts: Being with my precious baby all the time and bonding with him. Having energy (usually ) to keep up with the housework/cooking, etc. Free time for vacations, visiting family, shopping. Also, my husband is a farmer and there are days/weeks when he is home all day. So, it's wonderful to be able to be home when he is to spend time with him, and cook for him whether he's home for lunch or doesn't get home until 11 pm.
Worst parts: Feeling "cooped up" esp in the winter, never getting a break from baby care (especially those days when hubby is gone 14-16 hours), ocassional boredom.
I wouldn't trade this for anything, though!  And my hubby appreciates me sooooo much. He will do anything to keep me from having to ever go back to work, because we feel this is where I belong. Taking care of my family is my ministry.
_____________________________
*Amber*
My Blog
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/6/2008 5:21:32 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10717
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: offline
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I don't give out my name online. 
I'm mom to 4, soon to be 5...8, 7, 3, 1, due in Sept. I was at home for a year when my oldest was 2, then went back to work because my husband lost his job. January 2004, I went out of work on disability, had surgery, then got pregnant. I never went back to work after my surgery...so I've been home 4 years now. I've done in-home day care for a good bit of that, but don't have anyone I'm watching right now. My daycare income really helped us make those ends meet, but God is faithful and we're getting by even without it.
Best things about being home...being with my kids and really knowing them, not worrying about calling in if they are sick, being able to provide daycare for others in a home environment, it not being a big deal if something is wrong with Brian's truck and he needs to take the van to work, being able to post here in between what needs doing!
Worst things about being home...tight finances (though they would be tight even if I worked now because we'd have added costs including daycare), not getting out enough (I really need to get out of the house every day, even if it's just to go get milk), and the job here is never done and with very little acknowledgment.
_____________________________
Does God see?
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen. 2 Cor. 4:18
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/6/2008 5:57:48 PM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2256
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TheEgyptianPrincess
Its not just the money... its the fact that i should be capable of doing it all myself.. I mean.. my mum did it.. she was a wonderful wife and mother..she loves (to this day) clean and cook and wash and blah blah.... and I guess cause my father passed away while I was young and so it was just me and her....
My mom was a single mom, and she says it's much easier to clean up after just me and her than having to clean up after a husband! LOL! So, don't feel guilty. It's hard to clean up after messy husbands. Remember, you'll be cooking larger amounts than your mom and washing more plates and laundry than your mom. Keep the cleaning lady if you can!
_____________________________
-=|Christina|=-
MySpace
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House (blog)
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/6/2008 6:22:41 PM
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MamaMilty
Posts: 1504
Joined: 10/18/2007
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: HisCovenant
May I join, too?
Yay! Glad to see you, my friend!
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Jen
For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2:6
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/6/2008 7:39:33 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 11978
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: Between Hither and Yon
Status: offline
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quote:
OK, but I don't like to share my real name on a forum. Those who have posted though may PM me for some personal info as long as they promise not to share it. Y'all I trust... lurkers, not so much. Sorry, lurkers.
I say we just choose a name for you instead....even if it isn't your real name....lol. How's that!!!! We could have a contest....."Name That Poster"....LOL. Or if you have a name you always wanted to be named, here you go....you can have us call you that!!!! (Or you can be boring and crush my hopes of a game and naming you and just continue to go by "hiscovenant"....lol)
quote:
ORIGINAL: Harvie
quote:
ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2
quote:
I am Harvie and I am a 42-year-old SAHW. (I hope it's ok that I've snuck into this SAHM thread)
you are a SAHM to how many cats right now? I think you fit nicely!!! Kitties need a mommy too sometimes!!!!
13 rescued cats, 2 rescued dogs
you are a cat and dog's hero Harvie!!!! That is so great that you give up your house to them!!!!
quote:
Its not just the money... its the fact that i should be capable of doing it all myself.. I mean.. my mum did it..
OK...momma tone of voice here....STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!!! DO NOT down who God created you to be!!! I know,....I fought it for years. It took me a long time to realize that I didn't need to live up to my moms potential....God had another potential set for ME to live up to. It also took me a long time to see that my mom missed out on a lot of interactions with us because she was ALWAYS cleaning!!! God made YOU different then your mom though, and that's perfectly OK...You are not less then her because you aren't the same as her. I am sure in some ways she compared herself to another and felt she didn't measure up there. You should ask God to show you the things HE wants you to measure up to, and work on them. God may show you that you need work on certain areas, but that's OK...work on them and keep working...but they might not be the same things that you would measure up against your mother's standard. Don't be negative about yourself or your place in life or your house...just work on it if you are unhappy about it, and if you need prayer to be more happy then we will gladly do that with you too!!!
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"Some [babies] are just so inexplicably persnickety and unpleasing that it's easy to imagine that they were not actually floating in amniotic fluid but in pickle juice!" -Maggie (3cappuccinosmom)
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/6/2008 9:48:45 PM
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nicole6598
Posts: 4400
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
Status: offline
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That's a good point about not interacting with non-Christians, I miss that too, teaching at the school we didn't just have Christians but non-Christians too and now it is a bit harder, so I do just try and make the most of it when I go to the shops, once Grace starts pre school I will be able to have those types of interactions with other parents.
_____________________________
that is a dolphin at our beach
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/6/2008 11:36:10 PM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2256
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
Status: online
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I guess that's one benefit of having an unbeliever husband....His unbeliever friends!!! My best friend, M (I've talked about her before) well, she's agnostic, and my gay neighbor (who rubberband neutered his cat) who comes over and helps with dishes and eats our leftovers and we use his freezer space. Sometimes I feel alone because I don't have close Christian friends. I haven't connected with anyone at church yet. I think my neighbors think I'm cooky or something.
_____________________________
-=|Christina|=-
MySpace
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House (blog)
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/7/2008 9:16:57 AM
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MamaMilty
Posts: 1504
Joined: 10/18/2007
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SteelMagnolia
I guess that's one benefit of having an unbeliever husband....His unbeliever friends!!! ...... Sometimes I feel alone because I don't have close Christian friends. I haven't connected with anyone at church yet. I think my neighbors think I'm cooky or something.
Oh, I know how you feel. I get nothing but unbelievers now that we have moved and I am not with my church family. You all, here, in cyberspace are my Christian friends and a I so thankful for you.
I have been thinking about starting a Unequally Yoked Thread...but wasn't sure how to keep it positive and supportive rather than Oh woe is me...I guess I should just start it out right, huh?
_____________________________
Jen
For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2:6
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/7/2008 3:24:15 PM
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MamaMilty
Posts: 1504
Joined: 10/18/2007
Status: online
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Good for both of you, Sandy & Maggie!
I just love, love, love homemade biscuits...I haven't tried to make them myself yet, but intent to this weekend! I hope I have the same success you did, I just got bread flour, too, lol.
Maggie, enjoy those shiny appliances while they last!
What are everyone's plans for the weekend? Are many of you having family night tonight? We have taken to spreading out quilts on the family room floor and having a picnic and a movie. Our kids are just beginning to actually watch a movie, so it is fun. It will probably be SpyKids 3-D tonight. Usually we make pizza, the kids like to help...but I am making Dave's favorite instead, he has been working hard and deserves it.
Not sure what the rest of the weekend holds, but the weather will be cooler that normal so that will be fun. We are still in a church search, so that is always interesting...
_____________________________
Jen
For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2:6
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/7/2008 3:32:39 PM
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Georgia-Peach
Posts: 1973
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Georgia on my mind
Status: online
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I can't wait till Hunter is old enough to dot those types of things with. Our plans for tonight are too have dinner then go look at new cell phones. We eligible to upgrade them and since mine hasn't worked quite right in a while I am excited to possibly get a new one. Tomorrow our church youth group has district fine arts about 1.5 hour away so we are going to that for most of the day. Then Sunday Rita Springer is coming to our church to sing in the A.M. service so I am excited about that. Busy, busy...but, its fun!!!
Sandy and Maggie, sounds like you both have been busy. I haven't done much of anything today, but straighten up a bit. My house is screaming for a deep clean so I think I will be doing some of that next week.
_____________________________
Chelle
<------- My Heart <3
"Friends are like bras: close to the heart and there for support."
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