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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/8/2008 11:50:30 AM
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lexie
Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Toronto
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I keep a daily routine for the bedrooms, kitchen and family room. Basically I make the beds in the morning after I get up, and then I do the dishes and sweep the kitchen floor after Akeelah has gone to bed, and tidy and sweep the floor in the family room after Akeelah has gone to bed.
I clean the bathroom when Akeelah is in the bath. I do the sink, mirror and toilet while she is playing and then I clean the tub after she has gotten out. I spray the shower with a daily cleanser after I shower.
I do laundry once a week when I go to visit my mom for her weekly visit with Akeelah. Saves me the money and hassle of doing it in the building, and it's great because she doesn't have to pay a monthly water bill so I can do as much as I want.
I've worked really hard to keep my apartment extremely organized so I don't end up overloaded with things to do.
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/8/2008 1:44:38 PM
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3cappuccinosmom
Posts: 2596
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I do agree that maintaining makes a huge difference. Although, some part of me balks at it, because if it's not *really* dirty, then I don't feel like I've accomplished anything.  As unmotivated as I am to do deep cleaning, there is something in me that thinks I should *have* to do it on a regular basis (EgyptianPrincess, I *totally* know where you are coming from on the guilt thing!  ).
I don't have my basic routine written down. There are certain things I do every day, sweeping and tidying, wiping down the bathroom and kitchen, dishes. I do laundry on Monday and try to have it all washed by the end of the day, and then do the folding while I watch movies early Tuesday morning (by myself!  ), then bring it upstairs and put it away Wednesday. That way I at least have 4 days where I'm just washing diapers. I do deep clean the bathroom once a week, and usually scrub the tub just before I put the boys in it on Saturday. I do my baking once or twice a week (saves gas). Cooking is actually probably the least difficult thing for me to do, even though I cook mostly from scratch. I've gotten good about planning, and it usually doesn't take me more than 10 or 15 minutes in the kitchen to get things going.
Guilt comes knocking about those things too. What am I doing here sitting at the computer instead of cleaning and polishing things? 
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/8/2008 4:44:26 PM
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lexie
Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Toronto
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quote:
my dh doesn't care a whit about how the house looks (unless we have company) so there's no guilt coming from him
It's funny, my dh doesn't care too much as long as things are tidy, but he's awesome about cleaning when something needs to be done. While he never makes me feel guilty about not getting it done, and I know he's doing it to help me out, I still feel guilty seeing him clean because I think I should be doing it.
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/8/2008 4:59:41 PM
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MamaMilty
Posts: 1552
Joined: 10/18/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
quote:
ORIGINAL: MamaMilty
Sideways(are you Ruth?) and Consecrated (are you Lisa?) I love my routines! I am a Flybaby, she really turned my household around. I have a control journal with stacks of lists...daily, weekly, monthly...I just love it and my home really shows it!
Wow, it sounds like you are on top of things! I have to keep mine pretty simple. I've tried Flylady before and it didn't help me. I need to have it simple enough I can keep it in my head.
I did change things around a bit when we moved, simply because I was adding on more rooms to clean, and I did print it out and put it on the bulletin board just because I don't have it memorized quite yet.
Here's my schedule:
Monday: My bedroom, stairway, hallway
Tuesday: Bathrooms, mop kitchen, fold laundry
Wednesday: Livingroom, grocery shopping
Thursday: Kids' rooms, laundry room
Friday: Kitchen, fold laundry
Saturday: Playroom, outside (lawn, porch)
It works really well for me. This is my first week since moving to have completely followed my new schedule, but I know the old one I had really helped keep my house looking nice.
Oh, don't let me mislead you all...I don't have so many dirty nooks and crannies anymore and we can whip the house into shape in a matter of minutes instead of hours, but we certainly do live in it, lol
Having detailed lists has really helped me actually get to the things that were always rolling around in my head that needed to get done, but I would forget the actual things that needed doing when I was doing...if that makes any sense at all to anyone but me. I really think having all the little ones has made me daft!
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/8/2008 8:39:24 PM
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lexie
Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Toronto
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Here's one thing that annoys me about being a SAHM.
So, I became pregnant while we were both still in school (both in the last few months of grad school). I never went to work full time because by the time I was ready to go on interviews I was showing big time. So we decided I would just stay home during the pregnancy.
So I have two degrees and I have never worked a day in my field. Now I get asked all the time
"Don't you feel like your education was a waste?"
Hmm...well I did not meet my husband until I was in 3rd year, so if I did not go to university I wouldn't have met him to even have kids. Also we were not actively trying to get pregnant and thus it happened I became pregnant while in school to go out and get a career before I had children. Basically if I hadn't done either, I would not be in the situation I am not to be a SAHM.
So no I do not feel my education was a waste. I loved my time in school, I am a huge fan of higher education and when my children are in school full time I hope to go back to school to get another degree which I probably won't use either! Why? Because I love learning.
But seriously, people look at me as though I either should not have gone to school if all I was doing was planning to stay at home (I always knew I would but did not realize it would be so soon) or I should not be staying at home with my children and I should be putting my education to work for me.
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/9/2008 12:46:35 AM
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Harvie
Posts: 1209
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: california
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I am blessed to be a neat freak, married to another neat freak .... so our house is almost always unbelieveably organized, clean and tidy .... except for my DH's work spaces in the garage, and his shelf in the pantry! (He likes "controlled chaos" in those areas!) The house gets completely cleaned, dusted, vaccuumed, mopped, and all 3 bathrooms cleaned once a week ... plus spot cleaning, dusting, sweeping and tidying occurring every day!
My wonderful DH's work schedule is very unpredictable (long hours, last minute missions, short term assignments away from home, even overseas deployments -- eek) ... so I am able to handle most things on my own, if necessary. But when he's home, he's always willing to help out with pet care, dishes, folding laundry and taking out the trash. We've found that if we do household chores together, we have more time leftover to play more together!
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/9/2008 10:37:24 PM
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RepentanceIsRequired
Posts: 1103
Joined: 9/14/2005
From: Home is where the heart is.
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I'm a newcomer to this thread and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I've always wanted to be a SAHM. Little background:
In the beginning of Feb I was fired from my job. With eight weeks left in my pregnancy, I was made a SAHM. For the past 7 years, I have been the one working while Ryan was a SAHD while going to school. I never liked working, but I did it for the family because it was easier for me to find a higher paying job since I had a college degree and hubby did not. Anyway, I am on unemployment until the baby comes and part of that is to make at least two contacts to employers. I feel it is a waste of time because after all who is going to hire me now with just 3 1/2 weeks left of my preg?
So now my time is at home. Well actually it is not my home. Again another interesting story. A year ago this past Feb, we moved from Orlando into my parents' house. (It is a large farm house we "live" in the basement, and my brother "lives" in the upstairs bedroom because he too lost his job) Anyway, we are trying to sell our house in Orlando and it is not going very quickly (but then when does house selling go quickly?) Currently hubby only gets paid $9/hr and at the time I was making $11.89/hr so there was no way we could have afforded two mortages or even rent with a mortage to pay. So we live with my parents. We give them money for "living expenses" wich really goes to help with paying for the groceries.
Why am I telling you all this? I guess what it comes down to is I am on a roller coaster of emotions. At times I know we are exactly where God has led us. My parents believe in charity and helping others while we feel God is teaching us the beatitude of "blessed are the poor in spirit". So God has brought our families together for a purpose. On the other hand, I feel like such a burden on my parents (though they would NEVER even hint to anything of the sort). I do the best I can to keep up with the house work (mom has a lot of physical issues/pain).
Overall I have enjoyed being at home. It has allowed me to make things organized to my standards, and I have been able to get our finances into a workable order. It has also allowed me to take better care of myself physically. I am not stressed by a job that I dislike, and I can rest when my body tells me it is time to lay down.
So what's going to happen after the baby comes? Again, I begin to worry because of the unknown factor. As it stands now, it looks like I will have to work. However, beings that this is such a small rural community, where will I find a decent paying job? But that would mean I would have to find child care (which I know my mother would do in a heartbeat) but she would be watching a 6 year old, 5 year old, and a newborn. But then I am reminded that God said He would provide. He has exceeded my expectations by far in the past year. Ryan's work is also proving to be a blessing. It started out really rough, but the pay has been an issue. However, the other day he had jokingly told his boss (because business has increased since he put Ryan in charge of the Friday specials) when is he going to get a raise. And his boss said it's coming. Okay, so wow! Am I actually going to get that chance to really be a SAHM? It seems like our life is hinged on two factors, Ryan's raise and the sale of our house. Two things that are so totally out of our control. And yet God reminds me to trust Him. I have to believe in Him, and be assured that He has things well under control. That we are right where we are to be. Let tomorrow take care of itself, for today has enough problems of its own.
Wow, ladies, my apologies for the length of this. Everything has just come rolling out of my fingers.
< Message edited by RepentanceIsRequired -- 3/9/2008 10:44:21 PM >
_____________________________
--Nicole--
"We all have our blinking and beeping and flashing lights to deal with." Buck Murdock (as played by William Shatner) in Airplane 2.
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/9/2008 10:58:58 PM
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HisCovenant
Posts: 4123
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What a beautiful testimony you have! I am glad you shared.
My parents lived with us for 2.5 years. While I wish my father had been elsewhere because he is selfish, it was a joy having my mother there. I would gladly accept her back into my home. The fact that she worried about being a burden caused her to be no burden at all. She was willing to actively participate in our house. Don't assume you and you family aren't a joy to your parents, especially if you are pitching in.
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My friends call me Zippy!
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/9/2008 11:03:32 PM
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RepentanceIsRequired
Posts: 1103
Joined: 9/14/2005
From: Home is where the heart is.
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Yes, thank you for those kind words. I feel that way because here it has been a year and we are still in their house. I never thought we would be here this long. But I always make sure we are doing our part to help maintain the house both physically and financially.
_____________________________
--Nicole--
"We all have our blinking and beeping and flashing lights to deal with." Buck Murdock (as played by William Shatner) in Airplane 2.
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/10/2008 12:10:37 AM
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lexie
Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Toronto
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Nicole, thank you for sharing your story.
I get people asking all the time how we can afford for me to be a SAHM. My husband is not in the field he went to school for (and is having an extremely difficult time with it) and he is working contract jobs to get us by. There are times when he is not working and is waiting on another contract to come along. It's been difficult.
But we've made up our mind for me to be home with our children. We've put our trust in God, and while we are doing so we are doing part by making sacrifices. We have a very strict budget. We don't live in the nicest part of the city (in fact the other day I was offended when someone told me they thought the last part of the city we lived in was ghetto - well I guess that makes me ghetto too because that is what we could afford, like most people in the neighbourhood).
We are considered low-income by people but we're rich through God's blessings. We have a roof over our head, food in our bellys and we are blessed with a car for transportation. We are saving for our daughter's education and future. Sure we aren't where we wanted to be at this point in our lives, but we've learned such a valuable lesson it. Only God can make plans for your life, and if you trust in Him, you'll be forever blessed.
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/10/2008 10:45:14 AM
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HisCovenant
Posts: 4123
Joined: 4/12/2005
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We've had to sacrifice, too, especially at first. Now it is just habit and doesn't seem like sacrifice so much. We had to retrain ourselves from thinking like the typical American that a lot of junk was necessary, and to get back to basics like food, shelter, clothing, & transportation being what we consider needs. To be honest, it's a bit easier for us because we don't have children... we're not constantly having to replace clothing or save for college, etc. So, I may not be the best comparison to help you see that you can make it on one income... but these other ladies can.
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-HisCovenant/ Zipporah
My friends call me Zippy!
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RE: SAHM support/encouragement - 3/10/2008 11:39:31 AM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2947
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lexie
But seriously, people look at me as though I either should not have gone to school if all I was doing was planning to stay at home (I always knew I would but did not realize it would be so soon) or I should not be staying at home with my children and I should be putting my education to work for me.
Well, you can look at it this way too. When your kids are grown up, you can just take a few catch up classes and go into the field you were planning to.
When our kids are grown up, me and hubby are going to truck driving school to become a husband/wife team truckers...9 on, 9 off. We'll get to see the country together.
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-Stina
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
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We moved a month ago, so we're still "moving in" and trying to get organized from that, but once a room has been tackled and organized to my liking I stay on top of keeping it clean and organized. Or at least try 
my soldier!