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imit8him -> Another Tipping Dilemma (3/17/2008 11:49:47 PM)

Hey Guys/Gals, [sm=wave.gif]

Ok, this is a spin-off of a previous thread on "non traditional Tipping" found here:
http://forums.crosswalk.com/non_traditional_Tipping/m_3004041/mpage_1/tm.htm#3200516
(by sgpianoman)

It's a different question/issue, but still related to tipping. The previous thread got my curiosity going. [:)] (Great question, btw)

...My situation is this...

I have been going to a hotel breakfast buffet that I love for the past three months or so and the waitress that normally works there has left (she was good and I tipped her the standard 15-20% for meals). The new waitress has been terrible (I've had her about three times now) and gives almost zero service - even on non-busy mornings.

I come in, sit down and she sees me and doesn't say a thing (not even a "Hi"). ...Then after getting my first plate of food she drops off my check about 5-10 minutes later and says "Feel free to take care of this whenver you're ready" and then walks away. No service whatsoever...No asking me for coffee or if I needed anything or a nice "Hello" etc... [8|] When I wanted an extra napkin, I had to get up and get it myself from the bar, because she never came by my table - ever! ...I have had her about hree times now and observing the way she is, I can tell she does this with everyone. She kind of seems like she doesn't even want to be there.

But the issue is this. Given that her ONLY service to me is to drop off my bill (I guess she picks up the plates too, but I'm not 100% sure since she doesn't do it while I'm there) and I want to go back to that place every week ....how should I go about tipping her?

If you love a restaurant, but you get the same server all the time and the food is great, but the waiter/waitress is terrible and you have to think about tipping...what do you do?

If I tip the full 15-20% (which I've begrudgingly done so far), then I feel lousy about myself and that it was unfair. If, however, I tip below that or none at all and I want to continue going there as a regular, it then becomes hard to look the server in the eye every time I eat there, knowing I'm tipping them so low. ....At least I personally feel a bit embarassed or uncomfortable about it.

Any suggestiosn?

-Imit [8D]



LCannon -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (3/17/2008 11:55:32 PM)

I would try to see where the 'bad' waitress's area and avoid it and patronize the good.



imit8him -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (3/18/2008 12:03:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LCannon

I would try to see where the 'bad' waitress's area and avoid it and patronize the good.


I wish I could, but most morning it's just her nowadays. On weekends, I think they have two servers, but I don't usually go on weekends. [>:]

-Imit



APZR -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (3/18/2008 12:06:06 AM)

quote:

If you love a restaurant, but you get the same server all the time and the food is great, but the waiter/waitress is terrible and you have to think about tipping...what do you do?


First, I'd talk to the manager. Second, I'd NOT TIP until I was provided with some level of service. yours is one of the cases I said I would not tip. No service, other than bringing a bill, equals no tip... 'cause I can get THAT level of service at McD's.



LCannon -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (3/18/2008 12:19:23 PM)

In that case rather then concentrating on her performance 'slay her' with your kindness. "And if you be unwilling to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”(Joshua 24:15)



APZR -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (3/18/2008 1:42:16 PM)

BTW, if the service is that bad... the manager needs to know! As a business owner, I want and need to know when my workers do not preform.



imit8him -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (3/18/2008 1:49:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: APZR

BTW, if the service is that bad... the manager needs to know! As a business owner, I want and need to know when my workers do not preform.


Good point! I'm gonig to have a chat with the manager (by phone that is!...I'd be too embarassed to call the waitress out in front of everyone). Hopefully, he/she will let her know she's doing a bad job.

In the meantime, I agree as well...no more tipping for now!

Problem-solved! [sm=angel.gif]

Thanks APZR!
-Imit [:)]



Karaboo2 -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (3/18/2008 7:21:37 PM)

Sounds similar to the waitress at the buffet where we went for lunch yesterday with the kids. Never came to ask about drink refills, we needed extra napkins and she was 'on her break' so we had to get some from another waitress on the other side of the restaurant. The only clearing of the tables we saw her doing was clearing any tip that people may have left (at one point there were 10 plates stacked on our table, and the seating hostess pulled a busboy from the other side over to clear our area. Our youngest child dropped a crouton on the floor and she gave us the nastiest look imaginable.

When we finished, she was left ZERO tip. I came home and did the online service review and let's just say if it comes back to her she WON'T be happy!



notmycity -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (3/19/2008 3:50:48 PM)

By all means talk with a manager. Be certain to talk about what qualities you liked about the former waitress, emphasizing “what good behavior looks like”. Afterwards, you can clearly show where the other person doesn’t measure up.

Also, and like others have said, no service, no tip.



buckifn -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (3/29/2008 9:28:58 PM)

I would speak to the manager and tell them what you shared here...plus I would stress the fact you really like this place, but if such poor service continues you will be forced to find a new place, and do it.

I would not leave a tip out of guilt for a person who did nothing.



BlueAdept -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (3/31/2008 11:22:27 AM)

I would guess the manager already knows about the lack of service. It would be pretty hard for them to miss it. I do think speaking to them about the level/quality of service is the correct step. However, you might speak with the server first. That would be the "biblical model", however it might also very much backfire on you.

If you gently speak with the server, and she makes no change in her level of support, then you can go to the manager and make it clear that you are not happy with the service. If you have done that, and they change make a point of saying THANK YOU! If no change is made, then you have to make a choice, are you willing to contunie to eat there even without the service meeting your desired level.

Please understand each person has their own personality, this server may have "big" shoes to fill. She is attempting to replace someone that was in that role far longer, and likely did it without nearly as much effort. It is also possible this server has no business being in that job, and should find something else to do that would be much more fitting for her personality.

I guess I am asking. Is she even trying (in your opinion), or is this a view where you really just want the old one back? How many weeks/days has this new server been there? If you have seen no improvement after 2-3-4 weeks, then it is an attude issue and the manager needs to know.



imit8him -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (4/1/2008 1:07:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlueAdept

I would guess the manager already knows about the lack of service. It would be pretty hard for them to miss it. I do think speaking to them about the level/quality of service is the correct step. However, you might speak with the server first. That would be the "biblical model", however it might also very much backfire on you.

If you gently speak with the server, and she makes no change in her level of support, then you can go to the manager and make it clear that you are not happy with the service. If you have done that, and they change make a point of saying THANK YOU! If no change is made, then you have to make a choice, are you willing to contunie to eat there even without the service meeting your desired level.

Please understand each person has their own personality, this server may have "big" shoes to fill. She is attempting to replace someone that was in that role far longer, and likely did it without nearly as much effort. It is also possible this server has no business being in that job, and should find something else to do that would be much more fitting for her personality.

I guess I am asking. Is she even trying (in your opinion), or is this a view where you really just want the old one back? How many weeks/days has this new server been there? If you have seen no improvement after 2-3-4 weeks, then it is an attude issue and the manager needs to know.


Yeah, the new server is the perm replacement and she's been there for about 2 months now. I haven't gone there in the last 2 weeks or so, but I do recall each time I've seen her, she seems to do this to everyone. I noticd she did not seem happy to be working there as well and I felt maybe she didn't know how to wait tables and that she didn't even wantt he job (her attitude at least seemed to suggest that).

But as for confronting the server first, hmmm..I think that may not be a good idea. I realize what you're referring to in the Bible in Matthew (about the "three-step church discipline model")about going first to your brother if he has offended you and then take witnesses...and finally go to church leadership. But with this woman, she's not really Christian I don't think and I think that it would be too awkward to say to her "You service is not very good." ... lol [sm=angelhalo.gif]

I'd rather let the manager know, so he can deal with it. What do you think?

-Imit [:)]



BlueAdept -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (4/1/2008 11:19:25 AM)

I understand about not wanting to confront her about her work effort/attitude. I don't know that I would go to the person directly, but I also don't know that I would go to the manager. There is only one place I eat frequently, and that place has changed staff about every 6 months in the last 2 years.

I think if handled correctly it could be a great Christian witness. I am trying to think of the best way to handle. I would likely make a point of learning her name, then telling her that if she wants to increase her tips from me that this is what I expect. I might make it a game with her. Tell her that if she greets you, checks on how your coffee is.... normal stuff for a server, that you will leave her a 20% tip. Tell her the next time you come in that you want her to greet you by name, and that is worth... 1.50 (or whatever you want to make it). This way you are not confronting about her service, but you are pushing her toward better service. You know something like everytime you clear a plate....fill my coffee....water, it is worth .20-.25. Maybe at first you might even give her the quarter right after she fills the cup.

I don't know if that would work, but I think it could be more effective than saying something to the manager.



pbaribeault -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (4/1/2008 3:58:28 PM)

I'm not sure what kind of 'service' anybody would need at a buffet, that is essentially a self-serve sort of thing. Sure, a smile, a greeting, a drink (if the machine is not part of the buffet, with a refill if you request it), clearing plates at the end of your meal, and the bill. Anything else is above-and beyond.

I'd say, 10% for standard low-level service in a low-service setting. 20% for above-and-beyond (extra napkins, chit-chat, instant refill without a request, speedy plate removal throughout the meal). To me, no tip would be about having to wait for your bill, not being acknowledged when you first entered, rudeness, dirty looks, no beverage service at all (if you are not expected to self-serve within the buffet).

I guess different people have different standards.



crm4souls -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (4/2/2008 8:57:58 PM)

Servers are tipped on performance. I was a server during college and worked hard for my money. This does give me compassion for those working in the industry. The income is based on service. I still tip 10% if it's bad service and 15-20% for good service. I would speak with the manager and tell him of your feelings, since you are a steady customer.



legalnicki -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (4/11/2008 11:54:08 AM)

I always thought the whole point of a buffet is self-service. I don't think this waitress is not doing her job as much as I think the previous waitress was an over-achiever! :-)

I've never expected any kind of service aside from clearing plates, and leave a 10% tip (basic service, basic tip). If they come by to refill drinks or ask if I need anything, I'm pleased as punch and I leave 15-20%.



TonyRush -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (4/13/2008 10:46:32 AM)

Tipping is a reflection of the level of service you're getting. If she's not providing service, then you shouldn't feel obligated to tip. Period.

The most obvious answer would be to simply talk to your waitress. I'm not sure why people are advising you to speak to the manager or to ignore the issue. Next time you eat there and she drops off your check, just talk to her. It's nothing to be embarrassed about.

Tony



doba -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (4/18/2008 2:12:56 PM)

I am surprised that nobody has covered this angle. As a Christian, you might believe that God placed you in that circumstance for a reason. I wouldn't hesitate to guess that it is something to do with this waitress. See if you can find out through dialogue and prayer and then be obedient to the Lord in His direction.
Just my take on it or the way I would look at it.



imit8him -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (4/22/2008 7:39:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pbaribeault

I'm not sure what kind of 'service' anybody would need at a buffet, that is essentially a self-serve sort of thing. Sure, a smile, a greeting, a drink (if the machine is not part of the buffet, with a refill if you request it), clearing plates at the end of your meal, and the bill. Anything else is above-and beyond.

I'd say, 10% for standard low-level service in a low-service setting. 20% for above-and-beyond (extra napkins, chit-chat, instant refill without a request, speedy plate removal throughout the meal). To me, no tip would be about having to wait for your bill, not being acknowledged when you first entered, rudeness, dirty looks, no beverage service at all (if you are not expected to self-serve within the buffet).

I guess different people have different standards.


Hi pb,

Yeah, everything you mentioned for your "no tip" criteria were the things that happened at this buffet with this server regularly...That's why I was not too pleased iwth the situation (I believe I detailed all of these things throughout the post). Just an awful server who also seemed unhappy to work there.

-Imit



imit8him -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (4/22/2008 7:51:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: doba

I am surprised that nobody has covered this angle. As a Christian, you might believe that God placed you in that circumstance for a reason. I wouldn't hesitate to guess that it is something to do with this waitress. See if you can find out through dialogue and prayer and then be obedient to the Lord in His direction.
Just my take on it or the way I would look at it.


Thanks doba,

I'll consider that when I go there next week. That's a good attitude to have about things. Always see the positive. Ironically, I also like to do morning Bible reading while eating breakfast there too. [sm=blush.gif]

-Imit



1love1God1way -> RE: Another Tipping Dilemma (4/23/2008 1:07:53 AM)

I'm going to agree with everyone, even the two opposing viewpoints.

I would do one of two things. . .

1. Don't tip her one time. That might drive her a message that she needs to step it up. Of course, that might be happening to her already, and she still isn't getting it, or is just being indignant about it.

2. Overly tip her. Maybe that will soften her spirits and she will be all smiles the next time you come on. Of course, she may think you liked her just the way she was, and continue her behavior.



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