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[Poll]
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How much do you care about chivalry in a guy?
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| Chivalry is my number one priority. |
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| It's very important to me. No chivalry, no date. |
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| Not too important, but I'd appreciate it if you were a gentleman. |
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| I guess it's an okay concept, if you're into old-fashioned stuff. |
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| I don't care about it at all. Either way is fine. |
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| Frankly, I find it a bit annoying. |
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| I can open the door by myself, you chauvinist! |
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Total Votes : 44
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(last vote on : 5/9/2008 7:28:46 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 3/26/2008 5:34:02 PM
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GeorgiaNerd
Posts: 243
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: UGA... GO DAWGS!
Status: offline
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I don't care for it and find it annoying. It just seems pointless and silly to me.
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RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 3/27/2008 4:51:58 PM
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captainfraulein
Posts: 530
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: McKate
It depends on his intentions by being chivalrous. If he's the type of guy who's expecting "favors" in return, I'll pay for my own drinks...thanks. If he's just genuinely a nice guy who enjoys opening doors and paying for drinks, then kudos to him. He's a keeper.
Ditto. A man should be chivalrous because he wants to be. Not to earn brownie points. Not to get something in return. It is a great quality and good to see him do this all women, not just me out on a date, is something I would consider very heart-warming.
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RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 3/28/2008 8:38:34 AM
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rgod
Posts: 264
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
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Chivalry is almost always appreciated and is endearing. I don't need to be treated like a queen but I absolutely love it when someone opens the door for me, walks with me (instead of slightly ahead), opens the door for me, holds my coat, guides me through the door, etc. I don't like it when men don't do this - it feels unmannerly.
I think you can just ask the woman that you are with - you can move to open the door and then say - "do you mind if I open the door for you? I know that some women would prefer that I not do that" - most women will like it - a few won't. If she likes it, then continue to be chivalrous. If not then you can adjust yourself accordingly.
< Message edited by rgod -- 3/28/2008 8:47:23 AM >
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RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 3/28/2008 12:10:52 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 2938
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: online
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I liked your post up until you mentioned asking permission. Why would someone ask permission to be polite? If a little ol' lady drops her keys I'm not going to ask her permission to help her. I'm going to do it, or have one of the boys dart over and help her.
_____________________________
Dangerous When Hyper
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RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 3/29/2008 8:24:18 PM
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ladyingrace1979
Posts: 163
Joined: 3/14/2008
Status: offline
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To me, chivalery speaks a ton about a man's charactor. If he can't be a gentleman on a date, when he is trying to woo me then how is he going to be when he has "won" me?
The other thing is that gentlemen are seemingly so rare these days. I appreciate it an any man, or young man. We have a high school boy at our church that is the most respectful young man I have met in years. He is that way with his elders, the high school girls and even the junior high girls. With the little girls he is more the big brother type but very sweet. That's the kind of boy I'd like my daughters to meet. Because he has been taught to respect others.
To the original poster, I appreciate the fact that you ask. I am sure you will find a lady that will love your caring enough to take the time to find out what is important.
Kim Q
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RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 4/8/2008 3:43:59 PM
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android125
Posts: 18
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline
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My advice is.......
Be chivalrous, dude. When you meet the right girl, she'll love you for it.
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Gonna walk in heaven one day...............
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RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 4/9/2008 8:36:59 AM
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rgod
Posts: 264
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
I liked your post up until you mentioned asking permission. Why would someone ask permission to be polite? If a little ol' lady drops her keys I'm not going to ask her permission to help her. I'm going to do it, or have one of the boys dart over and help her.
You asked why would someone ask for permisison to be polite. I do know that some men have encountered negative responses to their chivalrous actions. So the way that they've handled that is usually to say something like "I hope you don't mind that I've opened the door for you" - after they've already opened the door. Or they might offer to help you get something from a top shelf instead of just walking over and doing it. Usually this has happened in a work context. My assumption is that at some point of time, perhaps someone misconstrued simple common courtesy for something else (although how that could happen, I don't know) - these men want to be chivalrous, but don't want to offend anyone or cause misunderstanding.
However, I personally don't care if a man ever asks for permission and the vast majority of women don't care either. I think that most women like chivalry (I personally LOVE it.) It is in short supply today. It makes a man stand out (in a good way) and I automatically think more highly of him if he does it. Particularly if he is kind to people around him as well and not just me. (Like the little old lady who drops her keys).
I don't think that a man has to ask permission - and most men don't and all is well. But if there were a situation where a guy was concerned about it - asking the first time (not subsequent times) is one way of handling the situation.
< Message edited by rgod -- 4/9/2008 9:06:37 AM >
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RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 4/25/2008 9:57:49 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 25449
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
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I like, expect and appreciate chivalry in any man; regardless of whether he's interested in me or not.
And on that note as well, it wouldn't impress me very much if such man only behaved chivalrously to me and and not towards other women. In fact, that would be a negative.
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RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 4/25/2008 10:03:29 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 25449
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
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BTW, I didn't vote, because none of the answers exactly fit me . . . I'm not "looking" nor "waiting" and I have a very different view on dating than most people.
But I did want to give my .02 on the topic, overall.
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RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 4/27/2008 12:45:00 AM
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Covaan_Meshuga
Posts: 2132
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline
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My online definition says it this way:
quote:
1. relating to knighthood code: relating to or reflecting the values of the medieval code of knighthood, especially courtesy, self-sacrifice, and a sense of fair play
2. considerate and courteous: describes men, or men's behavior, characterized by consideration and courtesy, especially toward women
I, personally, would not want to have to deal with a knight, expecially considering the actual history of knighthood. So that being discarded, moving on to the next parts, "courtesy, self-sacrifice, and a sense of fair play" and "considerate and courteous: describes men, or men's behavior, characterized by consideration and courtesy, especially toward women."
Okay, if a man truly wants to be courteous to me, he will recognize, and respond accordingly, to the facts that:
1. I am strong enough to open my own door, so do not try to make me think I am less of a woman if I don't sit around and wait for you to come around and do it for me.
2. I will not stumble if I am not holding to his arm by his persistence.
3. G-d did not give women elbows to be used by men as steering wheels to get us across the street safely. I do not need him to steer me by my elbow; I steer myself just fine when he is not around.
4. Don't get into some sort of self-agrandized idea that I need you to save me. I really dislike the idea of dead heros.
5. We are equals so if you are interested in "fair play," treat me as an equal.
_____________________________
Abiyah
Why does He keep quoting Torah? Doesn't He know He's about to abolish it?
Looking,waddling, and quacking are not the essence of duckness.
G-d has only one natural-born Son; EVERYONE else is adopted.
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RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 5/3/2008 1:01:57 PM
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ladyamythist
Posts: 56
Joined: 4/28/2008
Status: offline
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Chivalry slays the heart!!! Way to win the maiden, for sure!
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