RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church?
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[Poll]
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Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church?
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Total Votes : 79
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(last vote on : 5/5/2008 12:34:43 PM)
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/22/2008 1:52:49 PM
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JimboFletch
Posts: 6628
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SovereignIsHe
... You haven't read all my posts, or you are doing it on purpose, either way it's your problem and it not right...
I think I see now why you support Zedd. I won't bother you again.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/22/2008 2:44:08 PM
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Qtman
Posts: 10095
Joined: 3/21/2006
From: Crimson Tide Country
Status: offline
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Me either. I am tired of butting my head against a brick wall. John is going to argue with anything anyone else post. I am tired of him twisting words and playing games with the meaning of words just to justify and rationalize his position.
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Remember: God loves you and I'm trying!
~rogasinger4Him
Body Piercings
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/22/2008 3:10:15 PM
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relady
Posts: 1279
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Greater St. Louis Metro
Status: offline
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quote:
And another, maybe the guy's religion which he will not share share with us sinclude sacrificing chickens and playing drums all night. That chicken blood is hard for a loving mom to clean up every morning. He will share with you if you if you PM him. I can pretty much guarantee there is no animal sacrifice going on. 
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/22/2008 3:21:22 PM
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SovereignIsHe
Posts: 5393
Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lw9
You've been hit with your own logic several times and have come up short in your answers.
No I haven't.... People make up there own version of the OP and apply my position regarding the OP to their scenario...
Or in some cases they say I said something I didn't say...
quote:
First you say it's never okay to change a living agreement.
Case in point.. I never said that... I was speaking to the OP...
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But while you are still arguing that it's not okay for this particular mother - who's side of the story you don't even know - to change the rules [sin!! sin!!], you have conceded in post #277 that it IS okay to change the rules under circumstances that YOU don't like or approve of [not sin! not sin!!].
Are you comparing changing an agreed upon requirement to cooking drugs in the basement? If you can't see the clear distinctions that is your issue, not mine... As for the drug cooking there was never talk of a rule for it or against, it goes without saying... That is an action that is overtly dangerous and could bring about untold consequences so yes that would be ground to remove him for behavior not simply changing one’s mind about something mutually agreed upon…
quote:
So which is it?? Where is this magic line you are drawing to determine right and wrong, sin and not sin?? If you're going to turn a living arrangement into a signed-in-blood contract with God Himself, then you should be consistent in your judgment.
I didn't turn anything into signed-in-blood contract with God Himself... Those are your words and because you can't formulate something in regards to the OP you have to make stuff up...
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In the future, if you agree to allow someone to live with you, then you had better allow them to stay for the duration of the agreement no matter what.
I never said no matter what, you did...
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Unexpected behavior you didn't account for - which could be anything from drugs in the basement to causing discord or eating you out of house and home - should make no difference whatsoever because you have determined living arrangements to be a non-negotiable contract that no one is allowed to change.
Unexpected behavior has what to do with the mom first agreeing to something and changing her mind? Please try and stay with the OP on this... You are creating your own scenario to make your view fit the one in this thread... Zedd not going to church was expected and agreed upon...
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You need to live under the same judgment you've put someone else under.
Silly... What power to have to place anyone under anything...
Again... This is a forum for the exchange of idea... I have no power to enforce anything, nor do I seek to...
John
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/22/2008 3:25:44 PM
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SovereignIsHe
Posts: 5393
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JimboFletch
I think I see now why you support Zedd. I won't bother you again.
Never supported Zedd.... Keep guessing...
quote:
I won't bother you again.
That's fine, at least you will not being posting what I didn't say and putting my name on it..
John
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/22/2008 3:27:16 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26222
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
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Y'all . . . this discussion of PMing him might be a grey TOS area. We're not to discuss PMs (either sent nor received) in threads; and I'm not sure, but alluding to such PMs may also fall into this category.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/22/2008 3:29:00 PM
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SovereignIsHe
Posts: 5393
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: qtman
Me either. I am tired of butting my head against a brick wall. John is going to argue with anything anyone else post. I am tired of him twisting words and playing games with the meaning of words just to justify and rationalize his position.
Didn't twist a thing.... Don't have to... You made judgments while claiming I was making them and tried to justify yours by saying mine were harsh... Talking about putting a twist on things.. What's next? Going to deny the dentist comment?
John
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/22/2008 3:46:35 PM
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OLEEguacamole
Posts: 1051
Status: offline
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Wow.
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there's life in a pit.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/22/2008 3:47:11 PM
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Kath
Posts: 17229
Joined: 2/28/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
Y'all . . . this discussion of PMing him might be a grey TOS area. We're not to discuss PMs (either sent nor received) in threads; and I'm not sure, but alluding to such PMs may also fall into this category.
I'm not sure either but it's probably best to err on the side of caution.
_____________________________
"It's going to be bad around here when the cows come home to roost."
Dilbert's TRUE QUOTES FROM INDUHVIDUALS
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/22/2008 4:04:53 PM
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OLEEguacamole
Posts: 1051
Status: offline
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this thread aptly demonstrates how disharmony can elevate and become personal and harmful. imagine if this were all in the same house. it might be saving a life to separate. saving a family. ETC.
keep in mind, none of you have plans to spend thanksgivings together for the next few decades.
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there's life in a pit.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/22/2008 4:15:18 PM
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doinkdom
Posts: 4252
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Zedd
Hello Forumers,
My name is Zedd Stubblefield, I'm 19 years old, I am a college student,
and I moved to live with my mother and step-father in Kirtland, Ohio
last year.
My question is; is it acceptable (within Christian families) for the
parents to threaten to (and follow through with) kicking their adult
sons/daughters out of their household for refusing to follow Christianity
or goto church?
My personal opinion is; its not. They're forcing me to make a decision
I would rather not confront at this point in my life. They seem to be
(I'm no expert) using unchristian means (threatening to take away the
life I've made here) to achieve the ends of me going to church.
At the time I discussed moving here with my mom I brought up this issue
and was told I would not be forced to goto church. This is something
new they both decided FOR me.
Thank you for your time!
Sounds like the issue was brought up with your mom originally and may not have included her husband (the head of their home). Not sure...anyways...
After reading through all the "stuff" in here, I would have to say to the suggestion that both parents changing their mind is completely biblical.
The story of Israel comes to mind, I recall a wandering of 40 years in the dessert. There were many twists, turns, directions, etc. "changes" involved in that.
I am certain that the reason for this assumed change of mind has to do with one of probably several things:
-it was not a unified decision to begin with
-your lifestyle is of concern to your parents
-your parents actually love you
etc.
etc.
You're 19, in school with a need for a place to live. The only thing your parents ask is that you sit in a building for one hour a week? You do know that just going to church does not make you a Christian, right? That you are in no danger of being saved from the wrath of God, right?
That would require something more...so whatever you currently believe isn't gonna change as a result of attending a church service.
In the event, you consider yourself a Christian...then what's the real issue here?
So...go to church...have a safe place to live...do good in school, graduate and move on.
In 10 years...send flowers to your mom thanking her for all her prayers on your behalf.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/22/2008 4:56:51 PM
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doinkdom
Posts: 4252
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: qtman
Well obviously doinkdom you are like the rest of us and don't know what you are talking about either. 
that should come as no surprise 
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/22/2008 7:02:30 PM
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SovereignIsHe
Posts: 5393
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: doinkdom
The story of Israel comes to mind, I recall a wandering of 40 years in the dessert. There were many twists, turns, directions, etc. "changes" involved in that.
And the connect with the Israelites wandering around for 40 years and Zedd's mom desire to change something they agreed upon is? Pretty vague...
quote:
I am certain that the reason for this assumed change of mind has to do with one of probably several things:
-it was not a unified decision to begin with
As far as we can tell it was mutually agreed upon...
quote:
-your lifestyle is of concern to your parents
His lifestyle was apparent at the time of the initial agreement...
quote:
You're 19, in school with a need for a place to live. The only thing your parents ask is that you sit in a building for one hour a week?
Actually they are asking to renege on an agreement...
quote:
You do know that just going to church does not make you a Christian, right? That you are in no danger of being saved from the wrath of God, right? That would require something more...so whatever you currently believe isn't gonna change as a result of attending a church service.
Of course this could be swung the other way as an argument for why bother since attendance amounts to nothing...
John
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/22/2008 7:21:30 PM
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OLEEguacamole
Posts: 1051
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SovereignIsHe
Actually they are asking to renege on an agreement...
John
in most places, agreements with tennants if not an agreement to extend to one year or more AND put in writing, are considered to be on a month to month basis. iow, pay rent every month is the agreement. and next month new month. the accepted notice of change is 30 days from either party.
as for violating God's law, which law of God says a parent must always be wise enough to never need to change their rules or mind?
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there's life in a pit.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/22/2008 8:29:42 PM
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SovereignIsHe
Posts: 5393
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mrsdash
in most places, agreements with tennants if not an agreement to extend to one year or more AND put in writing, are considered to be on a month to month basis. iow, pay rent every month is the agreement. and next month new month. the accepted notice of change is 30 days from either party.
The above in what way applies to the OP?
quote:
as for violating God's law, which law of God says a parent must always be wise enough to never need to change their rules or mind?
The trick is to find relief for the mother to change her mind as it pertains to the OP... Is she wants to remove him for cook mething, so be it... But that's what the OP is about...
The mother had a chance to insert wisdom into the situation, she made a choice not to... And in the that choice she and her son agreed that going to church wasn't going to be a requirement. Of course her first mistake was entering into such a personal agreement with a non-believer...
John
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/22/2008 8:42:48 PM
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OLEEguacamole
Posts: 1051
Status: offline
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the son is a tenant. he moved in last year as an adult into the house of another adult.
his mother has no obligation to keep to her agreement. she can simply for any dumb reason say new rule, 30 days, conform or move out. she didn't lose the ability to reconsider the wisdom of what she did. what takes that away from her?
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there's life in a pit.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/22/2008 9:06:28 PM
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SovereignIsHe
Posts: 5393
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mrsdash
the son is a tenant. he moved in last year as an adult into the house of another adult.
his mother has no obligation to keep to her agreement. she can simply for any dumb reason say new rule, 30 days, conform or move out.
You might have a point on a completely secular forum...
quote:
she didn't lose the ability to reconsider the wisdom of what she did. what takes that away from her?
She can reconsider the wisdom for another time... The fact she agreed to something...
As for wisdom… It's arguably not a wise move to use force given the circumstances.
John
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/22/2008 9:12:38 PM
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OLEEguacamole
Posts: 1051
Status: offline
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your contention is that her agreement has a length obligation to it. why? why can't she bring an expiration to it?
when families have trouble with family tenants that can't be resolved, the law of the land does come into play. while it's sad to get to that point, the son needs to understand and respect that along with being of legal age, there are legal responsibilities and his landlord also has legal rights.
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there's life in a pit.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/22/2008 9:24:14 PM
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SovereignIsHe
Posts: 5393
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mrsdash
your contention is that her agreement has a length obligation to it. why? why can't she bring an expiration to it?
The only obligation I have spoken of is the one that has to do with their agreement about not going to church... I have responded to questions about the length of the agreement but they really don't have much to do with his not going to church and if she were to use some law or whatever to get around their agreement that would deceitful...
quote:
when families have trouble with family tenants that can't be resolved, the law of the land does come into play. while it's sad to get to that point, the son needs to understand and respect that along with being of legal age, there are legal responsibilities and his landlord also has legal rights.
The law of land never usurps God's law... Is she wants to remove him for cause that's another thread... If she wants to remove him because he won't go to church, that's this thread and she would be wrong to do so given their prior agreement in my view...
If you want to look at this through a secular pair of glassess why post here?
John
< Message edited by SovereignIsHe -- 4/22/2008 9:30:36 PM >
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/22/2008 9:29:07 PM
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Qtman
Posts: 10095
Joined: 3/21/2006
From: Crimson Tide Country
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SovereignIsHe
quote:
ORIGINAL: mrsdash
your contention is that her agreement has a length obligation to it. why? why can't she bring an expiration to it?
The only obligation I have spoken of is the one that has to do with their agreement about not going to church... I have responded to questions about the length of the agreement but they really don't have much to do with his not going to church and if she were to use some law or whatever to get around their agreement that would deceitful...
quote:
when families have trouble with family tenants that can't be resolved, the law of the land does come into play. while it's sad to get to that point, the son needs to understand and respect that along with being of legal age, there are legal responsibilities and his landlord also has legal rights.
The law of land never usurps God's law... Is she wants to remove him for cause that's another thread... If she wants to remove him because he won't go to church, that's this thread and she would be wrong to do given their prior agreement in my view...
If you want to look at this through a secular pair of glassess why post here?
John
She posts here for the same reason you do.
I have even took the time to go back and read every one of your last 100 posts and they are all argumentative. Do you never agree with anyone? I am beginning to think not.
However I am getting tired of reading your post so I'll just say you are 100% right in all your posts and I agree with you totally.
May God have mercy on my soul.
edited tos 6
< Message edited by Kath -- 4/22/2008 10:07:09 PM >
_____________________________
Remember: God loves you and I'm trying!
~rogasinger4Him
Body Piercings
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