Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church?

Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Theology] >> Morality & Ethics

[Poll]

Yes.

56% (45)

No.

41% (33)

I don't know.

1% (1)

Total Votes : 79

(last vote on : 5/5/2008 12:34:43 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

Message

Zedd -> Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/14/2008 9:27:00 PM)
Hello Forumers, My name is Zedd Stubblefield, I'm 19 years old, I am a college student, and I moved to live with my mother and step-father in Kirtland, Ohio last year. My question is; is it acceptable (within Christian families) for the parents to threaten to (and follow through with) kicking their adult sons/daughters out of their household for refusing to follow Christianity or goto church? My personal opinion is; its not. They're forcing me to make a decision I would rather not confront at this point in my life. They seem to be (I'm no expert) using unchristian means (threatening to take away the life I've made here) to achieve the ends of me going to church. At the time I discussed moving here with my mom I brought up this issue and was told I would not be forced to goto church. This is something new they both decided FOR me. Thank you for your time!

SonInMe1 -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/14/2008 10:01:32 PM)
When you are dependant on people, its their rules or the highway. Don't want to go to church? Get your own place.

Ps103 -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/14/2008 10:08:57 PM)
Hi, Zedd. I am of the opinion that adult kids really need to be out of their parents' house. so you will not like my answer[;)] Soninme is right--you live in someone else's house, the make the rules. Either follow the rules or get a place of your own.

zoebob -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/14/2008 10:09:57 PM)
I agree with both of the other posters here.

lw9 -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/14/2008 10:16:54 PM)
Hello Zedd. Make that another agreement with the first two posts. This isn't strictly a 'Christian' issue. The owners of the house [in this case, your parents] have every right to set the rules as they see fit, whether it's going to church or any other rule they choose. If you don't agree with the rules, then it's definitely time to move out. Honestly... it's good for young adults to make their own way in life after a time, anyway.

sjd2008 -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/14/2008 10:24:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Zedd Hello Forumers, My name is Zedd Stubblefield, I'm 19 years old, I am a college student, and I moved to live with my mother and step-father in Kirtland, Ohio last year. My question is; is it acceptable (within Christian families) for the parents to threaten to (and follow through with) kicking their adult sons/daughters out of their household for refusing to follow Christianity or goto church? My personal opinion is; its not. They're forcing me to make a decision I would rather not confront at this point in my life. They seem to be (I'm no expert) using unchristian means (threatening to take away the life I've made here) to achieve the ends of me going to church. At the time I discussed moving here with my mom I brought up this issue and was told I would not be forced to goto church. This is something new they both decided FOR me. Thank you for your time! IMHO, No it is not acceptable. While it is true that living under your parent's roof you are subject to their rules, I have to look to a larger view. First,you are an adult. You may be under their roof, but, you have the ability to make your own choices. Second, (and most important), forcing someone to go to church is the not ideal way to bring them to a relationship with Christ. That being said, they may see something in your life that they believe that church attendance will "fix". This may be a somewhat misplaced attempt at showing that they do love and care for you. Some people are so eager to "get someone saved" that they forget the essence of the Gospel is love. I gather that you're not a Christian and that you haven't decided whether or not Christianity is your cup of tea. If you feel that God is trying to talk to you, He won't give up until you answer Him. If you have questions about Christ and what Christianity is about, you might want to ask some questions in the Faith forums.

rnershigh -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/14/2008 10:33:10 PM)
No one can force you to be a Christian and I wonder if your parents realize this. That said, have you thought of on-campus housing? Are you paying your own way at school? Are you paying any type of rent or helping with costs at home? (groceries, utilities, etc). If you are, then you may have a stronger case to bring to your parents about how you think it's unfair they are giving you such an ultimatum when they told you from the start they wouldn't try to pressure you if you lived at their home. Now they are breaking that promise to you and you're right, it isn't very Christian of them to state unless you become a Christian and go to church they will kick you out. If they are still adamant and unwilling to budge or listen to your concerns, I'm not sure what you can do as it is their home. You may have to start looking for another place to live. Check out your campus housing office to look into other housing options, I'm sure they'll have resources and alternatives available for you, if you can't get this resolved.

Memaw. -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/14/2008 10:45:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Zedd Hello Forumers, My name is Zedd Stubblefield, I'm 19 years old, I am a college student, and I moved to live with my mother and step-father in Kirtland, Ohio last year. My question is; is it acceptable (within Christian families) for the parents to threaten to (and follow through with) kicking their adult sons/daughters out of their household for refusing to follow Christianity or goto church? My personal opinion is; its not. They're forcing me to make a decision I would rather not confront at this point in my life. They seem to be (I'm no expert) using unchristian means (threatening to take away the life I've made here) to achieve the ends of me going to church. At the time I discussed moving here with my mom I brought up this issue and was told I would not be forced to goto church. This is something new they both decided FOR me. Thank you for your time! Hi Zedd, According to the information you have given, I agree with you. While I think that "under someone else's roof, under their rules" does apply, the ground rules were set beforehand and that is what should be followed, they should not be able to change the rules afterward. Now, can I ask a question? Would you be willing to attend church to keep the peace?

lightshineon -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/14/2008 11:17:32 PM)
Depending on the other behaviors, it sounds rebellious if he refuses to go to church, and is living at home.

CherishedbyGod -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/14/2008 11:28:02 PM)
I say no. God never forces anyone. He woos people by His love and charm. He draws people. They are portraying to you a wrong image of God which may very well drive you further away from God and the church. Portraying a correct image of Christ is far superior than placing a legalistic bondage on someone and trying to force someone to do something that they are not ready to do.

colliefan -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/14/2008 11:32:28 PM)
Are you helping out with housing expenses? If so, I would have a problem with them kicking you out? Who are your friends and do you abide by state laws regarding alcohol consumption? If so, I would have a problem with them kicking you out. You are an adult and forcing you to attend church will not draw you to Christ. In fact, it may push you away from Him. (Been there, got the t-shirt to prove it) The best thing to do is to explore your options and come up what works for you.

Sun_Tzu -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/14/2008 11:57:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Zedd My question is; is it acceptable (within Christian families) for the parents to threaten to (and follow through with) kicking their adult sons/daughters out of their household for refusing to follow Christianity or goto church? That sounds really loving.[8\|]

car2ner -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/15/2008 6:40:06 AM)
I tend to stick with the side of, if you don't like their rules, find you own place and make your own rules. I wonder if that is the only issue. As suggested by other posters, what do you do to contribute to the household as another adult? Adult priviledges come with adult responsibilities. BTW, what is the big deal with going to church? Sure it won't make you a christian if you aren't one. If you are a christian is it because you don't like their church? Find another. Is it because you'd rather sleep in on Sunday? That's a slack excuse. Is it just a "I want to do my own thing?" frame of mind that young adults have? What are you doing to show your spiritual side so you folks don't feel like they have to put you into this position?

Sun_Tzu -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/15/2008 7:49:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: car2ner I tend to stick with the side of, if you don't like their rules, find you own place and make your own rules. I wonder if that is the only issue. As suggested by other posters, what do you do to contribute to the household as another adult? Adult priviledges come with adult responsibilities. There is a difference between shedding off responsibilities and not wanting to have something jammed down your throat. And going to church isn't a "responsibility" it is a choice of what you want to do with your free time. Taking care of a child is an adult responsibility, not being forced to go to church.

SonInMe1 -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/15/2008 8:06:52 AM)
If you are 19...or 40...and living at home with mom and dad...you are not an adult. Adulthood isn't an age, its personal responsibilities. If you can't make ends meet, and we probably have all been there, and have to move home with mom and dad, you are to respect their rules. Honor your mother and father. Going to church is not an evil expectation. You should respect the roof over your head and the people who provide it by going. Its plain and simple respect. Sit in the back and sleep.

JimboFletch -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/15/2008 8:22:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SonInMe1 When you are dependant on people, its their rules or the highway. Don't want to go to church? Get your own place. I agree. It may not be a particularly good or effective rule, but unless you are paying room and board, you have to obey the home owner's rules.

gengwall -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/15/2008 8:39:05 AM)
I don't agree with their tactics but I do agree with their right and I don't think there is a "is it Christian" parameter to it. As a boarder they have the right to say "stay" or "go", and as someone who they are supporting financially, they still have significant authority over you. I understand you don't like it and that you aren't ready financially to be on your own. Guess what, this won't be the first time you are stuck doing something you aren't too happy about. So, "suck it up", "grin and bear it", "walk it off", etc., etc., etc. It's really a pretty small price to pay for free room and board (plus whatever college expenses they are helping with). Our 22 yo daughter is living with us right now while she goes to school. She is free to come and go as she pleases. We don't really have rules for her, per se, anymore, although we expect she will show some common courtesy to us like calling to let us know when she will be home (or that she won't be home).

Qtman -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/15/2008 9:10:05 AM)
I have rules at my house. I also have two daughters age 38 and 32. Both are married and both of them and their spouses understand at my house its my rules. If I am at their house and I don't like their rules I will just go home. They have the same option at my house. If your parents have rules you just can't live with move out. It does not sound like a life you have built but one they built for you. Go forth and build your own life.

Ellie-Mae -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/15/2008 9:27:16 AM)
My brother is 20 and lives with us. If he weren't going to church and such he also would be finding a different place to live. With us, we also have to think of the other children in this family and what kind of an example he is setting for them. I don't think that it is unchristian or unloving to let a person know that if they can't live with the rules and philosophies of the home that they should find somewhere more acceptable to live. Also, Going to church does not make someone a Christian, so they are not forcing you to be a Christian. Furthermore, they are not forcing you to go to church either. You can choose to go to church and live with them, or you can choose not to go to church and live on your own. It is still your choice. No one is forcing anything. You are an adult. Take responsibility for yourself and your choices.

rcjames -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/15/2008 9:50:34 AM)
It is their sandbox, so play by thier rules and go to Chruch; it will not give you a rash or anything, and it very well might change your life. Thanks RC edited for clarity

phreddy -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/15/2008 10:36:55 AM)
Actually, this isn't something that they decided for you. This is something they decided for their household. They are giving you a choice as an adult, live in their house and go to church or live somewhere else. I am sorry that you feel like they misled you, but it is their house and their perogative to change the rules when they feel necesaary. One year is a long time. What has changed since then?

sjd2008 -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/15/2008 11:02:02 AM)
I guess it really depends on the parent's motivation. Are they doing this to assert parental authority? Then they are right. However, if the motivation is spiritual, then asserting parental authority in this way may not work. God does not force anyone to accept a relationship Him. He woos us and loves us to Him. He does NOT force us or drag us kicking and screaming. It's fine to make rules for a household, however, we must also remember that God showed us grace. We should be willing to show grace to our loved ones as well.

JimboFletch -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/15/2008 11:04:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sjd2008 God does not force anyone to accept a relationship Him. He woos us and loves us to Him. He does NOT force us or drag us kicking and screaming. Case in point: Jonah [;)]

Ellie-Mae -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/15/2008 11:13:20 AM)
No one is FORCING anything. They have given him a CHOICE. He just doesn't like it. His parents aren't forcing a relationship just by having a rule that says that if he wants to live their that he has to attend church. As an adult they don't automatically OWE him room and board, and it may even be more loving for him to be on his own.

Ellie-Mae -> RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church? (4/15/2008 11:14:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JimboFletch quote: ORIGINAL: sjd2008 God does not force anyone to accept a relationship Him. He woos us and loves us to Him. He does NOT force us or drag us kicking and screaming. Case in point: Jonah [;)] ROFLOL!

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>