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RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! - 4/24/2008 5:50:41 PM
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shadowspring
Posts: 1264
Joined: 5/27/2006
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Isn't dressing sleazy a behavior issue?  
Honestly, I would try to strike up a friendship with the mother. From the web searching I did, it is possible that no one has ever shared the gospel or the love of Christ with this woman. A true friend waits until they are asked to give their opinion, so unless she asks how you feel about her job, you don't have to answer.
I would also talk to my daughter about how we love all people, but we don't imitate all people. If this family does not know the Lord, they should not be expected to act or dress like they do.
It may be that when you know mom better, you might feel comfortable letting your child play there. Or you may feel even more strongly that it is not a good plan. You should get to know her and her home better first.
I have a friend whose household has a lot of things I don't want my teen exposed to. (She is an ex-prostitute herself. ) But, when the mom is home I let my teen visit there because the mom understood my concerns and agreed that there was no need to expose my dd to these things. (Drug use or high people.) BUT she also understood that my teen is not ever allowed over there unless mom is home, awake and on top of things.
Then after she invited a drug dealer to move in, I didn't let my daughter go over at all. Surprisingly, mom was not offended (but neither did she kick out the dealer at that time).
Good news there- her son is following the Lord and I have high hopes for her to fully commit to the Lord too!  I love this woman and pray for her every night. She did eventually kick out the drug dealer, and has now moved in with distant relatives (sober Christians!) until she can get on her feet without taking in boarders. Yay!
_____________________________
"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost..." -J. R. R. Tolkien
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RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! - 4/25/2008 11:14:26 AM
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Beck34
Posts: 200
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I agree with that. Do you know for sure that she is a stripper based on the way that she dresses? There are alot of women who dress like that who are not. Also, are you afraid something will happen to her if she goes over there to play?
_____________________________
What do you expect, It's Beck!
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RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! - 4/25/2008 12:57:32 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 4699
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
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Sometimes children can be the best witness to those desperately seeking something. I know on a few occasions where my boys were the best 'light' that other people saw. In our fear to shield our children from the woes of the world we shield that light as well.
Just a thought.
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RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! - 4/25/2008 3:48:56 PM
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zamdad
Posts: 1065
Joined: 4/8/2005
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quote:
carriebear
hi- Our next door neighbor has a daughter my daughter's age. They are in the same class at school. The mother is a stripper and wears her stripper clothes around the house. The girls are friends and want to play.
How do I handle this situation?
You get over yourself and get to know this woman. You love her just as Christ loves you.
_____________________________
You can't strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
A. Lincoln
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RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! - 4/26/2008 1:08:16 PM
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shadowspring
Posts: 1264
Joined: 5/27/2006
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quote:
You get over yourself and get to know this woman. You love her just as Christ loves you.
Zamdad,
HI, zam! I feel like I kind of know you from the boards and have a great respect for you. As a probation officer, I am sure you know that we should not judge anyone on a superficial basis, but get to know them first.
I don't know if you read all the posts, but vixir is certainly NOT self-righteous! She is looking for the right balance of sharing the love of Christ and shielding her daughter from potentially dangerous circumstances.
Like I posted above about my own experiences, even if vixir does decide the neighbor is a good mom, she will need to be alert about who is else is over at the house while her daughter is there!
Or, she may get to know the mom and find out the mom has a substance abuse problem or such a casual attitude toward porn or sexuality that her daughter could be exposed to unsafe influences. Not every sex industry worker has the proverbial "heart of gold".
By the same token, vixir should be just as vigilant with every playmate of her daughter's and their families. Outward displays of righteousness or lack thereof are useless for judging what really goes on in a household.
I remember once my innocent young daughter had a friend over to play. The friend used pipe cleaners to put erect male members on all my daughter's stuffed animals. When I told the child's mom, she wasn't at all concerned. She said it was probably a response to accidentally seeing the porn her older brother watched.  No big deal to her.
This mom was a Christian from our very strict Christian home school support group, and active in her church!
While my ex-prostitute friend, who didn't attend church, would NEVER allow my teen to be exposed to porn!!!
And I'm sure you also know that while some strippers might be decent folk at heart caught up in a bad situation, others could be back-stabbing, cut-throats who chose the life because they see it as easy money.
We should no more assume good than evil.
We've got to do the hard work as parents and believers, and get to know people on a deeper level before we can decide if someone is an opportunity for ministry, or a threat to our children's well-being.
And if it's both, how we can maximize the former and eliminate the latter, without hopefully having to cut anyone our of our lives.
_____________________________
"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost..." -J. R. R. Tolkien
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RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! - 4/26/2008 2:46:40 PM
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zamdad
Posts: 1065
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
shadowspring
quote:
You get over yourself and get to know this woman. You love her just as Christ loves you.
Zamdad,
HI, zam! I feel like I kind of know you from the boards and have a great respect for you. As a probation officer, I am sure you know that we should not judge anyone on a superficial basis, but get to know them first.
I don't know if you read all the posts, but vixir is certainly NOT self-righteous! She is looking for the right balance of sharing the love of Christ and shielding her daughter from potentially dangerous circumstances.
Like I posted above about my own experiences, even if vixir does decide the neighbor is a good mom, she will need to be alert about who is else is over at the house while her daughter is there!
Or, she may get to know the mom and find out the mom has a substance abuse problem or such a casual attitude toward porn or sexuality that her daughter could be exposed to unsafe influences. Not every sex industry worker has the proverbial "heart of gold".
By the same token, vixir should be just as vigilant with every playmate of her daughter's and their families. Outward displays of righteousness or lack thereof are useless for judging what really goes on in a household.
I remember once my innocent young daughter had a friend over to play. The friend used pipe cleaners to put erect male members on all my daughter's stuffed animals. When I told the child's mom, she wasn't at all concerned. She said it was probably a response to accidentally seeing the porn her older brother watched. No big deal to her.
This mom was a Christian from our very strict Christian home school support group, and active in her church!
While my ex-prostitute friend, who didn't attend church, would NEVER allow my teen to be exposed to porn!!!
And I'm sure you also know that while some strippers might be decent folk at heart caught up in a bad situation, others could be back-stabbing, cut-throats who chose the life because they see it as easy money.
We should no more assume good than evil.
We've got to do the hard work as parents and believers, and get to know people on a deeper level before we can decide if someone is an opportunity for ministry, or a threat to our children's well-being.
And if it's both, how we can maximize the former and eliminate the latter, without hopefully having to cut anyone our of our lives.
Yep. I agree with everything you say. I was just trying to say it with fewer words.
_____________________________
You can't strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
A. Lincoln
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