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RE: A Singular Preoccupation - 4/24/2008 10:16:54 AM
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AdrianaS
Posts: 1121
Joined: 3/21/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam
Are we preoccupied with being single?
Have we bought into an ideology that says having a "special someone" brings personal worth?
How do you as an unmarried individual gaurd your thought-life?
Is one's desire to marry principally social/cultural, sexual, or emotional?
Whether you are looking or not looking or just waiting for God to drop that special someone into your lap, what verses have been of particular encouragement for you?
I ask these questions, because I have always had an irksome belief that church culture (which at times can be a little too family focused), puts too great an emphasis on being married. There was a period, when I was in college that I really didn't attend church, and I can say singleness never crossed my mind. I faithfully served God, fellowshipped with believers, etc., but did not know of this drive toward the alter until I really got involved in church. Could it be that the world views singleness a little different? While I know most of the world's views are skewwed in regards to morals, is it possible in an attempt to combat promiscuity we've gone too far in the other direction? Is it possible we've made things a little too desperate when a single man feels he HAS to find a female companion just to appease the church-going masses. Is it really fair of us to tell someone they are depriving some man/woman of a spouse because they've chosen to remain unmarried?
1)Are (we) preoccupied with being single?
Being me is a joy most of the time  , single is not how i define my whole me, at all - plus the full attention that i have as "deliver me from that Lord, please"! - is all about walking backwards in my faith and get sucked and stopping growing from glory to glory and getting to know Him. It is all about my walk with Him and become the person Him created me to be conformed with Lord Jesus.I would be terrified to be stucked in single or married status, for sure. I trust Him all the way as He did gave already everything necessary and Iam safe in Father's hands...then is all bout looking at Him and not circunstances of life.
2)Have we bought into an ideology that says having a "special someone" brings personal worth?
The erroneous understanding that anything/anyone than God gives worth and true identity to a person is because the lack of understanding of "Follow me" call from the Lord, in the 1st place. If someone is following Him and getting instructions from Him those misconceptions to place worth in what suppose to already put aside and follow the Light of The World , must be trash out and one must be renewed in their minds. We are supose to live all behind and follow Him, He takes 1st place all the way always and above all. If not - nothing will prosper or work right, for sure. Plus Himself disqualified those who seem not to be able to let go the others gods in our lives, we cannot serve 2 masters. Self is most of the time our worst enemy holding hands with its "friends" , yep.
3)How do you as an unmarried individual gaurd your thought-life?
By the concept so clear that He is the Vine and Iam the branch, without Him I can do nothing. As new beliver when hear this concept I pictured me, glued to Him in my branch and bottled feeding from Him, as at same time I understood I was spiritual baby in need of His milk. I still picture me sapping and sapping Him the Vine and all the nutrients and food that I need. When get distracted wondering situation I sure notice I got distracted, yep. But still as He knows how vulnerable and much dependent Iam of Him, His blood is my covering and His seal of property do stand forever and ever in me. Glory to God.
4)Is one's desire to marry principally social/cultural, sexual, or emotional?
Much depends of course. Many places is a matter of status not only to get marry but marry "right". With so many social problems of pregnancies by single parents and so many abandoned kids in the streets of poor nations, being institutionalized and etc sure sex inside marriage and procriation of kids safe with roof in their heads, taking care of is the right way. Food shortage is a crises now for those who lack food already and suffer from the basics etc AIDS is a huge social problem and death among Africa is a serious issue. The consequences about marriage, fidelity, sex and etc is way more than mentality of 1st world middle class notions, ways and etc Although at least US is reaping what they sow in reggard of behaviour of their youth engaging in sexual activities, as very young women raising in STD's is poping up all over the place, etc
ok..
In my personal position and realisticaly thinking "right now" of why I would desire to marry "cold turkey", I do not have anyone in special in my mind as object of my love and etc it would be: a strong partener in ministry, a healthy/potente sexual partener very appealing to my senses, of course and a playground mate to go well with what my unique playfull personality is all about. The emotional aspect to me is much covered in his rich intelect as in his sexual potency as a male. Then is all about avoid boredon in both areas in a partener, what is not realistic, of course. Then I conclude that love, deep love going on must wake love inside me for the ideia to fly and flow. As I yet have to experience love for a man in my life, I have not real desire to marry no men at all, even the nice christians ones. Iam sure not in love with idea of marriage. nah, it would kill me!
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RE: A Singular Preoccupation - 5/5/2008 1:57:55 AM
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landabee
Posts: 3093
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
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quote:
Are we preoccupied with being single?
I am not.
quote:
Have we bought into an ideology that says having a "special someone" brings personal worth?
I have not. Nor have I bought into the whole marriage makes us holier and the whole procreation makes us holier. What makes us holier is our close walk with the Lord, and allowing the Holy Spirit to continue to work within us, within our current circumstance whatever that may be.
quote:
How do you as an unmarried individual gaurd your thought-life?
I guard my thoughts in the same fashion that the posters before me have listed. And when needed, "take thoughts captive."
quote:
Is one's desire to marry principally social/cultural, sexual, or emotional?
I think this varies person to person. 
Although not looking at this time (but not opposed to a relationship finding me) for me, I would say that I very much would like a mate for all of the listed reasons above. However, at this time... singleness is the soup du jour. LOL
As a prior married, I enjoyed marriage not only for the emotional and physical intimacy... but I liked being a wife in the social context and cultural context as well.
Thankfully, I mostly enjoy being a single within a social and cultural context now... excepting those situations where pushy people intrude. LOL.
_____________________________
"God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts."~Unknown
"Sound theology discourages ignorance instead of promoting it. " ~ CourdeLeon
Love On A Plate
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RE: A Singular Preoccupation - 5/5/2008 8:20:34 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 1571
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
Status: offline
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quote:
Are we preoccupied with being single?
Have we bought into an ideology that says having a "special someone" brings personal worth?
How do you as an unmarried individual gaurd your thought-life?
Is one's desire to marry principally social/cultural, sexual, or emotional?
Posting blind here. Will get back to the thread later, but I'm going to the gym soon, here.
1. Some days I am, other days I'm not.
2. Uh, no, but even God said it wasn't good for man to be alone. I think it is only natural to feel like a sock without its match from time to time.
3. I don't really do it very well. I need to pray and work on that.
4. My desires to marry are 1. To serve God with someone 2. to have companionship 3. to raise children with someone 4. yes, to have an emotionally romantic relationship with someone 5. yes, to have a legitimate sexual relationship
I don't think there is anything wrong with any of those reasons, so long as they don't become an idol. Culture has nothing to do with it. Well perhaps christian culture, but not American culture.
_____________________________
PLEASE come to this thread:
Tell about YOU in school
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RE: A Singular Preoccupation - 5/8/2008 7:46:43 PM
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woodwind228
Posts: 442
Joined: 5/8/2008
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
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Personally, I am not preoccupied with being single. I would like to re-marry someday if it's in God's will for me, but it doesn't consume my thoughts. I think it's important to be content with where you are. What if it's not God's will for me to re-marry? If I'm not content with being single in the first place, I could become bitter, depressed, discouraged...whatever...and if I'm that way, who would want to marry me?! It could be that when a person reaches that point on being content with where you are and accepting of the possibility of never being (re)married, then perhaps THAT will be the time God brings your future spouse to you. After all, let Thy will be done, not mine.
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