Parents (Full Version)

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worthaboverubies -> Parents (4/24/2008 11:38:46 AM)

My parents are financially irresponsible. They have lived hand to mouth for almost 10 years. Of course they don't accept advice from us.

They are supposed to be more wise than us and they are not. They live in a house they can't afford and drive a car they can't afford and will not downsize. They want to get rich quick so they don't have to work anymore, so they go from one scheme to the next.

I fear that soon they will be moving in with one of us. My greatest fear is that we will have to support them for the rest of their lives.

I try not to think about it but I am very worried. Does anyone else have this problem?



BlueAdept -> RE: Parents (4/24/2008 2:35:31 PM)

I do not on the one side, but I could on the other.

My father is not wise with money. He actually lost his house to the bank. He has never been prudent with money. There are other issues as well, so having him move in with my family is a no go. He is not very wise in choosing who he hangs around with, and more than one could be/might be sexual preditors. I have 4 small children, so the likelihood that one of them could be harmed in that case is way too great.

I would not give him cash, because he is too likely to give it away or blow it. I can support my family, or him but not both.



pbaribeault -> RE: Parents (4/24/2008 6:03:50 PM)

Nobody can move in with you without your consent.

You might want to put some thought into whether you could live with yourself if you allow them to reap what they have sown.



worthaboverubies -> RE: Parents (4/24/2008 7:13:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pbaribeault

Nobody can move in with you without your consent.

You might want to put some thought into whether you could live with yourself if you allow them to reap what they have sown.


That's the problem, I don't think I could live with myself if I let them suffer the consequences because they will be old.



mrtigger -> RE: Parents (4/24/2008 9:11:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: worthaboverubies
That's the problem, I don't think I could live with myself if I let them suffer the consequences because they will be old.


My parents are reasonable with money so I don't have the same issue as you but I could not leave my parents homeless & hungry even if they were careless & foolish with finances. I would put limits on it though. I'd let them move in with me and provide for their basic needs but I certainly wouldn't pay their bills or give spending $$$ to them.

People almost never change. Pretty much you can't do anything with them by talking. All you can do is decide your own boundaries of what you will or won't do in response to their dumb decisions. So figure out what you are willing to do (or not) for them in preperation for when they reach their financial dead end.



tbrobinson -> RE: Parents (4/24/2008 9:14:58 PM)

I cant. I have the same problem with the inlaws. But they are god fearing christian people who just have made bad choices from lack of education and just plain impatience. I hope my children learn from the example, I have told them they can live with us part time to get out of the north cold, and helped them alot.

Besides, they gave me the greatest gift a man could have, my lovely bride of 29 years. All just part of being in the sandwich generation.



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