Struggling in my walk (Full Version)

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NJ55 -> Struggling in my walk (5/6/2008 9:05:17 AM)

Hi I am new to the forum and in need of some really sound advice. I am in a stage of doubting everything, my purpose, my life, if God really cares, if he hears me, if he sees me. My life for so very long has been fraught with just survival, trying to hang on. I listened to those I thought were christians but they told me I was being punished by God, or that I had sin in my life..I distanced myself from them. others lied on me and humiliated me that I was discarded like I was worthless.

I have been in a cycle for years of poverty and no matter how hard I have prayed and tried to get out of the grave stays open. it still did not stop the shame of housing court or homlessness. I am a single mother, my heart at times feels like it will break with just trying to survive. My life has no meaning, I wanted so much for myself and my children, (my children are middle school ages) thought that God would protect us and take care of us, I thought that when I ask it will be given unto me. I have never asked for riches, I have asked for safety and stability, I have never asked for cars I have asked for Love, I have never told God what to do with my life, just let me serve him and he guide me always. I love the homeless, i love the lost, I love the abused, yet I feel so alone sometimes and so lost myself.

I look at myself sometimes in the mirror and I do not recognize me anymore. I am frustrated with my life. I am enrolled in seminary school and I am surrounded by pastors and ministers who are so busy with the things of God, that I feel like I should not be there. I am unfulfilled and feel trapped. I do not know what to do



Szaftoo -> RE: Struggling in my walk (5/6/2008 9:34:45 AM)

Welcome.

I am sorry for the challenges you are currently facing and wish I had the answers. It's easy to put our focus on our situation and wonder where God is when times are difficult, however, He is still there and will see you through.

Have gotten any practical help for your situation like help from your church or other local resources?



siapa -> RE: Struggling in my walk (5/6/2008 9:44:08 AM)

Hi NJ55,

Your experience resembles mine. Not too long ago I was frustrated by those who called themselves "devoted" Christians, working together in the ministry and I left them afterwards! But Jesus Christ knows what's going on...every single little thing, amen! And He showed me another church accordingly. The bottom line is...DON'T BE DOWNHEARTED because of hypocrites/ wolves in sheep clothing existing here & there in a bunch, approaching the end of the world!!! GOD will help you out, just like He helped me....God bless you, NJ55.



Ephesians4_32 -> RE: Struggling in my walk (5/6/2008 9:44:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NJ55

Hi I am new to the forum and in need of some really sound advice. I am in a stage of doubting everything, my purpose, my life, if God really cares, if he hears me, if he sees me. My life for so very long has been fraught with just survival, trying to hang on. I listened to those I thought were christians but they told me I was being punished by God,


They don't know that.


quote:

ORIGINAL: NJ55
or that I had sin in my life..


Romans 3
23For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

John 8
7So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her


quote:

ORIGINAL: NJ55
I distanced myself from them. others lied on me and humiliated me that I was discarded like I was worthless.

I have been in a cycle for years of poverty and no matter how hard I have prayed and tried to get out of the grave stays open. it still did not stop the shame of housing court or homlessness. I am a single mother, my heart at times feels like it will break with just trying to survive. My life has no meaning, I wanted so much for myself and my children, (my children are middle school ages) thought that God would protect us and take care of us, I thought that when I ask it will be given unto me. I have never asked for riches, I have asked for safety and stability, I have never asked for cars I have asked for Love, I have never told God what to do with my life, just let me serve him and he guide me always. I love the homeless, i love the lost, I love the abused, yet I feel so alone sometimes and so lost myself.

I look at myself sometimes in the mirror and I do not recognize me anymore. I am frustrated with my life. I am enrolled in seminary school and I am surrounded by pastors and ministers who are so busy with the things of God, that I feel like I should not be there. I am unfulfilled and feel trapped. I do not know what to do


Perhaps the seminary provides counseling for those going through such difficulties. Have you asked? God often uses others to encourage us in our walk. If the right people are aware of your needs, God can use them to help you.

I pray you will find the help you need.

Isaiah 26
3Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.



BibleL7 -> RE: Struggling in my walk (5/6/2008 10:29:03 AM)

Welcome to the Forum

I know it is not easy going through hard times constantly but we do have assurances that He is always with us and will never leave us nor forsake us. As for those who say you dont have faith or there is sin in your life, Job heard the same things from his supposed friends and the Lord said they misrepresented Him.

As long as we are in mortal bodies here on earth we will have trials and tribulations, true on different levels and in different ways and many times it seems they are just endless and the Lord is really not with us. That however is not so. He helps us hang on and is with us through them. He did not promise to deliver us from the trials yet did promise to be with us through them and help us get through them.

As for those Pastors and Ministers at seminary they are really not any different than you. They also have trials, maybe not the same as you, and if they are truly called to ministry they will have had such trials or will have such trials. Called Pastors and Ministers will be tried by the Lord before they receive their charge or throughout their ministry. Even they have times of doubt and struggles. At least all the ones I have known personally have. It strengthens us, gives us abilities to help others and brings us to a closer relationship for we learn we need to rely on Him at all times.

Keep in prayer and study of the Word, and when you feel down or depressed sing His praises. It helps. As one who has suffered from depression for years, been homeless, been broke more often than I could recount, there are many times I struggle, but He is there and I trust in that fact, sing praises and pray often. He is with you just keep trusting Him to help you through. And forget what those so-called more spiritual Christians say, each of us has a different walk with the Lord, yet we can all rely on Him to be with us. Will keep you in prayer.



NJ55 -> RE: Struggling in my walk (5/6/2008 10:57:26 AM)

Thank you to those of you that took the time to encourage me. I am truly grateful. I attend a fairly large church and to speak with any of the pastor you have to make an appointment and that can be anything from 6-8 weeks. so I don't bother.

I attempted to speak with someone at my seminary but I was put off by her busyness in handling everyone and everything else that I felt embarrassed and left and said I would be ok.
I just want to know why these things keep in happening, over and over again. it never stops. I feel myself wanting to withdraw from life. I keep hearing myself say what is the point. I don't feel I am depressed just tired. I have fought all my life to survive and each year gets harder and harder to get back up. I stay down a lot longer than I used to.



SavedByGraceMD -> RE: Struggling in my walk (5/6/2008 11:01:07 AM)

Welcome NJ55,

I wish I had answers for you. But I have never experienced what has happened to you or what you are going through. When life gets hard, as it has for you, I recall on the promise He gave in Revelation 7


16Never again will they hunger;
never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat upon them,
nor any scorching heat.
17For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;
he will lead them to springs of living water.
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

and Revelation 21

3And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

5He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."

For us to know that no matter how bad things can get here for us, that one day He will make all things new, and there will be no more pain, or tears, no more mourning or crying, has been comforting to me.

I too will keep you in my prayers, and hope you stay strong, and continue in your walk with He that laid down His life for you. For you to have made it his far, through all that you described, should show you that He is there, right there with you. Stay strong sister.

The doubts you have, I think you know where they come from. So just focus on the good in your life, and count on His promises. They may not come in the time we want, or even in this life, but His word stays true always, and to the end of the age.

May God bless you, keep you and shine His face upon you. Take care.



iamjc-s -> Encouragement (5/6/2008 11:28:55 AM)

-
...day is conceived in the black womb of night
(From: "THE VALIANT PAPERS", By: Calvin Miller, pg.155)

gratitude for the very "disasters" God has used to bring us to this most wonderful of jobs
(From: GUIDEPOSTS NOVEMBER 1995, pg.35, FINDING THE GREATER PLAN, by Tom Adam)

At their wit’s end, then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out (Ps. 107:27-28).

Are you standing at "Wit’s End Corner,"
Christian, with troubled brow?
Are you thinking of what is before you,
And all you are bearing now?
Does all the world seem against you,
And you in the battle alone?
Remember---at "Wit’s End Corner"
Is just where God’s power is shown.
Are you standing at "Wit’s End Corner,"
Blinded with wearying pain,
Feeling you cannot endure it,
You cannot bear the strain,
Bruised through the constant suffering,
Dizzy, and dazed, and numb?
Remember---at "Wit’s End Corner"
Is where Jesus loves to come.
...Remember---at "Wit’s End Corner"
The Burden-bearer stands.
Are you standing at "Wit’s End Corner,"
Then you’re just in the very spot
To learn the wondrous resources
Of Him who faileth not...
(From: Streams in the Desert~1, parts of May 23, pp.166-167)

Keep these thoughts with you throughout the coming years!
1. If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
2. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
3. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.
4. Whenever you want to talk, He is available & will listen.
5. He could live anywhere in the universe, & He chose your heart.
6. What about the Christmas gift He sent you in Bethlehem; not to mention that Friday at Calvary.
Face it, He's crazy about you.
-----God didn’t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, light for the way, & bright hope for tomorrow.
(written by an 8-year-old, Danny Dutton of Chula Vista, CA, for his 3rd-grade homework assignment. The assignment was to explain God.)
-



siapa -> RE: Struggling in my walk (5/6/2008 11:41:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NJ55

I feel myself wanting to withdraw from life. I keep hearing myself say what is the point.....


Yup....definitely like me, NJ55. Been that road before, too. It's satan who's playing tricks on our minds!!! Keep on praying, and Jesus Christ WILL sweep that awful thinking away, maybe not immediately, but ...trust HIM, and He'll do HIS part, amen.



NJ55 -> RE: Struggling in my walk (5/6/2008 1:00:31 PM)

I am totally amazed by all of your encouragement and understanding. IamJc-s the wits end corner is a wonderful. I sincerely thank all of you.



Ephesians4_32 -> RE: Struggling in my walk (5/6/2008 3:03:46 PM)

We're happy to share some encouragement with you. I do want to say that if things don't improve, you might talk to your family doctor. I had to do that when bad things piled up on me culminating in the senseless murder of a very kind teacher of our daughter.



Ignited-Faith -> RE: Struggling in my walk (5/6/2008 5:42:11 PM)

NJ55,
I am praying for you.
You have two choices.
1. You can focus on your problems. (And chose to be
discouraged, which won't help a bit.)
2. Or you can be like David, and encourage yourself
in the Lord. (Focus on the HOPE you have in the Lord,
and what He can do.)
Pray and fill your mind with Scriptures. Meditate on
the verses. It will change the way you think and act.
Stand on God's Word of truth.
Expect God to move on your behalf!

"Bless the LORD, O my soul:
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits:"
Psalm 103:1-2

(Please read all of Psalm 103!)

May God bless you and put you
on a new path!



JMCrwd -> RE: Struggling in my walk (5/7/2008 9:58:25 PM)

I have been going through alot of the same doubts and struggles you have. I have doubts about just about everything, from God's love to ( which is the top) to everything on down the list. What I have learned is that it is the devil trying his best to get you to give up, that is his job and he is good at it. But Jesus said I'll never leave you or forsake you and who would you believe, Jesus or the devil ( who is the father of all lies)? I have to remember to tell myself this every day. I wish I could say it get's easier and in a way it does. But the closer you get to God the harder the battle gets. Just think of the rewards at the end though.



oldmethuselah -> RE: Struggling in my walk (5/7/2008 10:24:21 PM)

NJ55

Well it's nice to see that those who replied to you are not the sort to "stomp all over your head", as it seems that some of the 'christians' you met in the flesh did!

Indeed, I was encouraged by these responses too... the one about God having a picture on his refrigerator was really a great reminder! ROFL

Anyway, ALL the symptoms you described of christians not being able to minister properly to you ARE true... the BUSYness... the QUICK condemnations... etc. etc... the big anonymous church syndrome... (6 weeks for a pastoral appointment? wow!)...

On the plus side, as you may have already guessed from the responses here, there ARE other support groups that WILL take the time to help...some virtual, like this forum, and some REAL, PHYSICAL and PRESENT... and I hope you run into some of them soon!

In the meantime, I hope you don't lose YOUR hope!

Each of us, to a greater or lesser degree, has had to deal with fellow christians who behaved as you depicted... I am grateful to the OTHER Christians I met who were not - often I have to ask God to remind me of the truly encouraging ones, and not focus on those others who have those habits that do not bring glory to God or help his people (you!) in a way that reflects God's care and concern for you.



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