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RE: Has femininity become a dirty word? - 5/8/2008 11:54:10 PM
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TomTurn
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At least two people have made the comment about lace and fru, fru which we all know is not what femininity is all about. But it does kind of sound defensive. And not saying anyone was. Just using the word defensive as a seg way to mention;
Could it be that "femininity" is seen as "weaker" in a lot of ways by the world and especially in the U.S. where "weaker" is seen as bad fairly much at all times?
Now please keep in mind when you read anything I am writing, you could always find something to focus on and make it what it is not. Words will come out sounding wrong and this is just friendly conversation. I think women are the greatest
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RE: Has femininity become a dirty word? - 5/8/2008 11:57:44 PM
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TomTurn
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quote:
Ah, but do you do them poorly because you are a man or is it simply because you don't possess the skill?
My brain will just not allow me to do some things. I do it like a guy and it is done poorly as viewed by many and always will be done that way.
quote:
I guess because, in my thinking anyway, we should strive to do our best at everything we do. If we do our best, it shouldn't then be considered as being done poorly. But that's just my opinion.
Which I ask again, why is something as simple as "throwing like a girl" not being a girls best and even "praised" for that (of course knowing not all girls do so, just as all men do not have the limits I do)
< Message edited by TomTurn -- 5/9/2008 12:15:41 AM >
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RE: Has femininity become a dirty word? - 5/9/2008 12:08:14 AM
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followtheLeader
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I think it was, but I think all things feminine and matronly are making a comeback.
I think for the most part we are a product of our upbringing.
I was brought up in the 60's right in the middle of the feminist movement.
My mom agreed with much of what they stood for, but was a stay at home mom with 5 kids. She was also brought up to be a "proper" girl with finishing school as well. She was confused about her identity so that reflected on us. On the one hand we had to be "proper" ladies and on the other we were encouraged to be independent and stand on our own two feet and get out there and get whats ours etc. So when we acted too feminine, we were not tough enough. When we acted assertive, we were not feminine enough. It really was a confusing way to grow up, but we are all very independent so that came through loud and clear.
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You are beyond hilarious!....... WhiteRoseBlessings
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RE: Has femininity become a dirty word? - 5/9/2008 12:15:36 AM
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TomTurn
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And we all know a girl can be brought up to be a "proper girl" with finishing school and all and be independent. Being independent is not unfeminine. It to me is how she goes about it.
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RE: Has femininity become a dirty word? - 5/9/2008 12:35:35 AM
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followtheLeader
Posts: 1987
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From: The Hundred Acre Wood
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TomTurn
And we all know a girl can be brought up to be a "proper girl" with finishing school and all and be independent. Being independent is not unfeminine. It to me is how she goes about it.
True, Nowdays.
I'm not sure about when my Mom was girl(she is almost 70), they certainly did not encourage independence of any kind. Much of what my Mom was taught in finishing school, was how to get and keep a man. My mom has been married for almost 50 years. At no point would I have considered my Mom independent enough, to survive on her own, with 5 kids. Put in that situation, she would have had to depend on family. My Mom is independent in thought and spirit but not independent of another human being, if you get what I am saying. She could not stand on her own, if necessary. Sorry, answering your statement took me a little off topic.
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Put a fork in it!
You are beyond hilarious!....... WhiteRoseBlessings
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RE: Has femininity become a dirty word? - 5/9/2008 3:36:59 PM
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car2ner
Posts: 1867
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From: just south of Atlanta GA
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quote:
At least two people have made the comment about lace and fru, fru which we all know is not what femininity is all about. But it does kind of sound defensive. And not saying anyone was. Just using the word defensive as a seg way to mention;
Could it be that "femininity" is seen as "weaker" in a lot of ways by the world and especially in the U.S. where "weaker" is seen as bad fairly much at all times?
In the context of lace and froo froo (yes, I brought it up). Picture the soft focus pastel world of a lady in fluffy dresses in a field with butterflies and kittens. That is not femininity but a cartoon image of feminine. In that case, if there was any strength, it would be more of a behind the scenes quiet strength. But on the surface, it does seem very weak.
And other thread that might relate to this one is the "are you a tomboy or girly girl?"
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the journal of selling my wonderful home http://www.car2ner.2ya.com (my blog)
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RE: Has femininity become a dirty word? - 5/9/2008 9:14:24 PM
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ladyamythist
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I think someone, one of the guys, put it well...he wants to marry a woman, not a man. He likes a woman that is not "one of the boys", I felt. I can agree with him. I just don't like a woman who is dominating, curses, is loud, demanding and unkind. Harsh. I don't like a woman who is harsh. I think it is part of my programming, and God's Word, that has me convinced that God loves a gentle, quiet spirit. I think that there is a nurturing, softness about truly feminine women. There is a trusting spirit within them. They know their Savior and it's reflected in their lives. I think femininity means softness. We women can show that in so many ways.
Men don't show that side of themselves. It's there. I know that. But, they show it in masculine ways. That is a real delight. To see a man with his kids, teaching them, concerned about them, guiding them, you can see and hear his love, but, it is not expressed as a woman would do. And the difference is wonderful. We are different!!!
The world has tried so hard and succeeded in making women look like tarts and harlots with their fashion and their self concepts. The world has no defined lines for either sex/gender to follow. God does. He even prohibits a woman from wearing a man's clothes. Well, if God has lines that He has drawn, who am I to say that they are wrong? I may be the one who is wrong, if I don't agree with him.
We all can have characteristics that are both masculine and feminine. It's how we show them, I think, that sets us apart as feminine and masculine. Funny how the world has never tired of the Marilyn Monroes, the soft, sexy woman, and praised the Clint Eastwood man, isn't it?
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RE: Has femininity become a dirty word? - 5/9/2008 9:16:30 PM
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ladyamythist
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TomTurn
And we all know a girl can be brought up to be a "proper girl" with finishing school and all and be independent. Being independent is not unfeminine. It to me is how she goes about it.
This is true..and I think what we are all fascinated with...."it's how she goes about it". I really think you hit it on the head for both sexes.
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RE: Has femininity become a dirty word? - 5/9/2008 9:21:00 PM
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ladyamythist
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Which I ask again, why is something as simple as "throwing like a girl" not being a girls best and even "praised" for that (of course knowing not all girls do so, just as all men do not have the limits I do)
[/quote]
There is something we must do. Recognize the differences between the sexes. And, I know we do. I like having that difference; it makes life more enjoyable. My arms are not as strong as most men, even if I do weights. My muscles are not the same, and therefore, I do not throw the ball as most men do. I think it's a compliment to be told, "Mom, you throw like a girl!!!" And there is always a little wink that goes with that. Recognizing our differences, recognizes us!!!
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RE: Has femininity become a dirty word? - 5/9/2008 9:25:41 PM
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ladyamythist
Posts: 56
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TomTurn
At least two people have made the comment about lace and fru, fru which we all know is not what femininity is all about. But it does kind of sound defensive. And not saying anyone was. Just using the word defensive as a seg way to mention;
Could it be that "femininity" is seen as "weaker" in a lot of ways by the world and especially in the U.S. where "weaker" is seen as bad fairly much at all times?
I love lace, soft fabrics to dress in, colors that don't scream, the sexy side of being a woman, the powder on my nose, the fragrance on my toes...I love the fact that I can gently touch a man's arm, that I can be treasured by him as "one of a kind"...that I can be "his"...there is great power in this... it entrances men...I don't care what the world says...I only care what "he" says.....
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RE: Has femininity become a dirty word? - 5/10/2008 10:23:12 AM
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car2ner
Posts: 1867
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now as you consider our answers, look at how we chose to show ourselves, ala avatars...Ladyamythist has the look of a glamourous movie star... today mine is a cartoon of a large hunting cat insearch of monsters... how we see ourselves gives a clue to how we answer this question about femininity.
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the journal of selling my wonderful home http://www.car2ner.2ya.com (my blog)
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RE: Has femininity become a dirty word? - 5/14/2008 11:58:10 AM
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TomTurn
Posts: 640
Joined: 3/13/2008
Status: online
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quote:
now as you consider our answers, look at how we chose to show ourselves, ala avatars...Ladyamythist has the look of a glamourous movie star... today mine is a cartoon of a large hunting cat insearch of monsters... how we see ourselves gives a clue to how we answer this question about femininity.
More female goobldy gook? :-)
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RE: Has femininity become a dirty word? - 5/14/2008 3:33:16 PM
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car2ner
Posts: 1867
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just south of Atlanta GA
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I guess alot of woman-speak sounds like gobbildy gook to men. Sometimes I don't get it either. All I am saying is you have to consider the source to understand the answer. True of anyone, male or female.
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the journal of selling my wonderful home http://www.car2ner.2ya.com (my blog)
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