RE: #18 on the way (Full Version)

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Mrs.X -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 2:26:09 PM)

That rebte check we're all getting this year...the Duggars will be getting 6,600 (600 per adult and 300 per kid) this year. Wow! Unless there is a max amount Uncle Sam gives back.



stellaluna -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 2:33:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
You know, everyone's experiences are different. We can't project our own childhood onto other people. I was the oldest of a large family, did a lot of childcare growing up, and went on to have six of my own. Others here have had different experiences. Just because we might have felt a certain way growing up doesn't mean the Duggar children felt the same way we did. They are all individuals. My guess is that some of them will grow up to follow in their parent's footsteps, and some of them will choose a different path. Most of them will probably follow some elements of the way they were raised, but differ in other areas, especially if they marry someone who was raised differently.

You are completely right and that is why I tend to stay away from these discussions. [8D]

I have absolutely zero problem with kids sharing the load--doing chores and whatever else to contribute to the family. I have absolutely zero problem with kids learning to care for babies or those younger: how to bathe, change diapers, feed, etc. Teenagers should have experience with babysitting--boys and girls--in my opinion. There are many life skills that should be learned while your living at home with your parents. Being responsible for another child, though, is where I draw the line.

This is what gets me riled up about the Duggars:
quote:


Each older child has one or two younger “buddies” for whom he or she is responsible.

quote:


there is a sign-up list in the kitchen for children who feel they need one-on-one time with a parent.

quote:


From watching programs about the Duggars, I know that they use a "buddy system" where an older child is paired with a baby, usually when the baby is around 8 months old. The older child is then responsible for much of the baby's caretaking and raising.

During a documentary I watched, I heard Mrs. Duggar say, "Every child gets to be Mom's buddy until the next baby comes along, then it gets assigned to someone else." It kind of makes it sounds like she just likes infants.

Also, the 15-year-old daughter makes lunch everyday and the 17-year-old daughter makes dinner every evening. I have no idea how much free time these kids get, if any. I hope they have some sort of social life, friends, fun things they do that are just for them. I have no idea.

(Quotes taken from MSNBC.)



OLEEguacamole -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 2:34:16 PM)

children must be under 17 last tax year to qualify.

if we don't want their household numbers, we shouldn't want their big check.



LaurainAL -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 2:38:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OLEEguacamole

children must be under 17 last tax year to qualify.

if we don't want their household numbers, we shouldn't want their big check.


I think there are people who are envious of the Duggar's, but not for their big stimulus check.

Just curious what they could be getting. It's all speculation since we don't know their income level. If they do get the $6600, I wonder how they will spend it?



Ellie-Mae -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 2:38:33 PM)

I would love to have their household number... with or without the checks.[;)]



Karaboo2 -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 2:39:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellie-Mae
I would love to have their household number... with or without the checks.[;)]


Ditto ... and maybe even a few more!



Ellie-Mae -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 2:41:40 PM)

I was thinking about what they might want to get as well... We are getting a new floor for our downstairs and a front loading washing machine. With their house being so new, they probably don't need that kind of stuff. I am wondering if might go towards a newer vehicle or maybe more play equipment for their yard.



dradynsmom -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 3:07:06 PM)

After hearing about Ma Duggar pregnant with number eighteen my hubby and i started talking about how many children we would like to have - we have on e son who is 15 mo and he has a five yr old daughter (whom we are trying for custody). Anyway first he said 3 more then yesterday it was atleast 4 more. It keeps changing (and always up never down LOL). I don't think I'll ever have as many as the duggars but i guess the hubby and I both agree we want a large family. We hadn't even discussed how many till i heard the news about the duggars. Amazing what that makes you think about.
Steph



stateofgrace -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 3:36:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stellaluna

Also, the 15-year-old daughter makes lunch everyday and the 17-year-old daughter makes dinner every evening. I have no idea how much free time these kids get, if any. I hope they have some sort of social life, friends, fun things they do that are just for them. I have no idea.



I suspect that they don't have individual "social lives" because that's generally frowned upon in those circles. They probably socialize as a family with "like-minded" families.



Karaboo2 -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 3:37:07 PM)

My hubby keeps saying enough to fill one of those half-sized buses ... but to get a full sized bus so we have room for all the groceries!



Ellie-Mae -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 3:38:25 PM)

Do you mean like a 15 passenger van?



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 6:05:09 PM)

quote:

As for the Duggar daughter and her "if I have children" comment. Well, the context of the interview seemed to me, that she was saying she wasn't sure if she was even going to try for kids, and that seemed really strange for a female who is likely strongly encouraged to marry and be a SAHM above all other roles.

I know which interview you are talking about....but to me that's not how it came across. To me it came across more as a thing of leaving total fertility issues up to God....more on the lines of "if God blesses" kind of thing instead of just an all assuming that she would automatically have kids one day. (does that even make sense? I am tired so I don't know if I am just rambling or getting the point across that I got from that interview)

quote:

I smiled at the mom and said "Wow, 4 boys!" She smiled back and said "Nope" just as a fifth boy came running out of the nearby bathroom... "5 boys!"

We both had a chuckle and went on our way. She's not the only family I've met with 5 either, and I know lots of families with 4. Can't say I know any with 6 or more, at the moment.

LOL
we have friends that have (so far) five boys and one girl (she was #5 I think)...and she is due any day now with #7...if she hasn't already had him!!! We met them years ago when we were at our first base and they had only one baby. In fact, it was at her place that I took my first pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant...lol. Anyway....she says that they have a 12 passenger van, so they can go up to ten before having to "reevaluate" or buy a bigger vehicle....lol. Her body is made for pregnancy according to dr's though.



Sideways -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 6:40:01 PM)

Now, when I was a youngster, I knew 2 6-children families. They were both kinda interesting. One mom already had 4 and was on her 5th pregnancy. She'd always wanted six, but said this pregnancy was her last; her body just couldn't take it anymore ('cause it ain't just the uterus that gets used and abused during pregnancy). Turns out, she was having twins! So she got her six after all, with one less pregnancy.

The other one already had 5 boys and were dying for a girl. When the 6th was a girl the mom did say "Now I can stop", which made all of us wonder if she would've kept going. The oldest did tell me that they were disappointed when #3, 4 and 5 were boys. The girl had a very feminine name, but her brothers quickly changed it into a boyish nickname, which they vigorously enforced. So, we figured her brothers would turn her into a proper tomboy. [:)]



lightshineon -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 8:20:17 PM)

(LOL) I never thought of the stimulis check, who cares bless them.[:D]



Karaboo2 -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 8:29:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellie-Mae
Do you mean like a 15 passenger van?


No ... it is a bus, but a mini-bus ... essentially take a school bus and chop off the back half ...



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 8:30:12 PM)

quote:

The oldest did tell me that they were disappointed when #3, 4 and 5 were boys.

[&o]
In my opinion, that is one of the worst reasons to keep having kids. If a couple wants the opposite sex that badly, then they need to adopt. It is so cruel to be disappointed in your kids for something they can't control.

I always admire Maggie for making it clear that that is NOT why they had a 3rd child, or why they'll have a 4th, 5th.........

I will admit I always thought the ideal set of kids would be 2 boys and a girl, HOWEVER, I always promised myself that I would be just as thankful, and love my kids just as much if I had all 3 boys, or all 3 girls, or 4 the same, or 2 the same, or whatever, and if I REALLY REALLY wanted the other kind, I would look into adoption(plus some folks around here who grew up in the only-girl-with-2-brothers-life have informed me, it's not so great as I thought[;)]).

I think the Duggars have been a fairly good witness to the media, but I was a little dissapointed that before they had Jennifer, she made it very clear that she was hoping it was another girl. Considering they already have quite a few of each, and if their philosophy really is to accept whatever God gives them, she should have just said she was thankful to receive another gift whether it was a boy or a girl, and if she had any hope, it was only that it would be healthy, but if even if wasn't healthy, she would still love the child, and they would still strive to be the best parents they could be for the child.



lightshineon -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 8:33:35 PM)

I always wanted girls when, I was pregnant, and got my wish three times.



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 8:39:39 PM)

That's cool! How did your husband feel about that?[:D]

God blessed you by granting your desires, but I really believe you are the kind of person that would have loved 3 boys just as much! Sometimes (not always) I think God gives us a desire because He knows that's what He's going to do.



Sideways -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 8:47:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
I think the Duggars have been a fairly good witness to the media, but I was a little dissapointed that before they had Jennifer, she made it very clear that she was hoping it was another girl. Considering they already have quite a few of each, and if their philosophy really is to accept whatever God gives them, she should have just said she was thankful to receive another gift whether it was a boy or a girl,


I don't blame Ma Duggar to much for that. When she had Johannah, it had been at least 8 years since she'd had a girl, so all of Johannah's sisters would be a good bit older then her. When Jennifer was born, that puts two girls close together in age.

Since these kids get most of their socialization from their siblings, I can understand wanting to have a sister close in age to yourself.



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 8:53:21 PM)

Well, JoyAnna's kind of by herself.

I don't want to start bashing the Duggars or anything, as I am the one that started the thread, but, I really think that

"We accept WHATEVER gift GOD chooses to give us WHENEVER he gives it,"

and

"I really really want this baby to be a girl," are almost two contradictory statements.

A sister for Johannah is good reason to be glad after the fact, but not to have a preference before.

P.S. I'm the 2nd of four girls, and the youngest is severely disabled, and sometimes people who were expecting would be very adamant about wanting a boy or a girl right in front of us. And I felt like screaming sometimes, "Can't you see by looking at my sister, that if it's healthy, who cares if it's a boy or a girl?"



Ellie-Mae -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 9:00:03 PM)

I remember being so sick of people assuming that I was trying for a girl, that I used to tell them that I would be thrilled to have another boy. Boys are fun and I won't have to worry about getting new clothes for him for years.

I wish that I had thought of the baseball team line.[&o]



Sideways -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 9:01:57 PM)

Oh, you're right, JoyAnna is 10 and her closest sister, Jinger, is 14, but there's no controlling that.

I think even the hardest core QFers have hopes for a baby's gender, even if they're willing to accept whatever they get. Maybe Michelle was just being honest about having a preference.

I wonder what age the buddy system starts up. If each older child has two buddies, then would someone like JoyAnna (10) have a buddy or be a buddy or is she on her own?

I didn't know they had two buddies, that does sound like a tremendous amount of work, on top of all the cooking and cleaning the girls have to do.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 9:07:21 PM)

quote:

"We accept WHATEVER gift GOD chooses to give us WHENEVER he gives it,"

and

"I really really want this baby to be a girl," are almost two contradictory statements.


Not really. Acknowledging a desire is not the same as taking control.

I would *love* to have a baby girl. I may or may not get one. Having a girl is not my purpose in keeping one with childbearing, and I will be perfectly happy with a horde of boys. But I do want a baby girl. I will probably always want a baby girl. That doesn't mean I will be upset or angry at God if the next 7 are boys!

On the subject of older children and household work--I cooked supper every night for my family from 15 yo to the time I left home to get married. I did about half the family laundry too. I did the garden. I was "mom" nearly every afternoon to my younger siblings, making sure they didn't get into trouble, dealing with problems etc.
I was definately eager to get out of the house...so I could get married and have my own babies! [8D]



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 9:10:09 PM)

quote:

Since these kids get most of their socialization from their siblings, I can understand wanting to have a sister close in age to yourself.



That's their choice, though. No one is stopping them from being involved in a bigger church, or joining a home school group or something. That's still no reason to burden a baby with an expectation. Especially when they DO already have both, when MANY families I know have only one kind.



Sideways -> RE: #18 on the way (5/13/2008 9:14:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
No one is stopping them from being involved in a bigger church, or joining a home school group or something.

They are part of a home church and are shown occasionally socializing with other large families, but their TV specials do imply that the vast majority of their time is family.

I think a lot of people hope for a gender, but they get over it real quick when the actual baby is put into their arms. They don't strike me as the kind of family that would hold a child's gender against it once it's born.



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