Choosing a Daycare (Full Version)

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SweetLittleErin -> Choosing a Daycare (5/27/2008 3:44:05 PM)

I need some help. I am 20 weeks pregnant (halfway there!) and know I will be a working mom. Any tips on choosing the right childcare provider? The one I had in mind, and had heard how great it was, supposedly one of the best in our area, has had a MRSA (staph) outbreak, and have not so much as sent notes home to the parents. Two children have died. So now, of course, there is a huge waiting list anywhere. How can I be sure, that I choose a "good place"? (FWIW...this was a state approved, church sponsored, daycare...) What kinds of questions should I ask? What should I look for?

Note: Please do not turn this into a debate on working vs. staying at home. We have thought this over and this is the decision made by me and my husband. I already receive enough judgement on this decision, so please, this is not the place. Thanks!



BlessedMamaofmany -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/27/2008 3:54:28 PM)

just a few off the top of my head:
What are thier policies on sick kids? When do they call parents? How secure are they about who can pick kids up and drop them off? Do they require id to pick up? How do they discipline? How do they accommodate special needs kids? (just in case...and I think it gives a good idea of how tolerant they are)
Do they provide the proper storage for pumped breastmilk? How is their labeling system for stored bm? How much to the caregivers rotate between age groups? (is your child going to have the same caregiver every day?)

Those are all I can think if right now. [:D]
Sandy



isaacsmom -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/27/2008 4:28:45 PM)

Excellent questions, Sandy, I'll second those!

I'd really suggest praying about a daycare provider, too. I knew I had to put my firstborn in daycare for a while because it was impossible for me to quit working for a while. We were blessed to know 3 individual women in our church who had home daycares (certified). I knew these women well and trusted them. One of them ended up caring for Isaac. She was a perfect fit for us and him. If the daycares have long waiting lists, do you know of an individual (church member, relative, close friend)possibly, that you would trust fully? Or would you even consider an individual?



clag4christ -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/27/2008 4:43:23 PM)

Yes...and maybe instead of looking into a daycare you could try looking into how much it would cost to do in home care...would one of the women at your church (older with grown children) be willing to watch your new baby for a fee? I'm not sure how much in home care runs but it could be comparable and worth looking into...Almost like a nanny type thing.



betterisoneday -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/27/2008 6:14:05 PM)

Ask if they'll only feed foods you have approved? Make sure they won't try to sneak whatever they think is fine in without telling you. (Including different brands of formula)

Ask what their time schedule is on feeding? When baby seems hungry? Every 3 hours? Every 2? 4?

Ask how long they will let a baby lie on the floor (at different ages) and cry before they try to comfort him when you leave or when he falls?

Ask if they are required to call you if the baby hasn't been dropped off within 15 minutes (or whatever #) of your usual time?
And if they are, do they accept a note saying you won't be attending tomorrow? Or will they still call you?

Ask if they allow the staff to bite the baby's nails if they feel the nails are too long?

That's all I can remember of my worst problems at the moment.



BlessedMamaofmany -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/27/2008 6:46:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: betterisoneday

Ask if they'll only feed foods you have approved? Make sure they won't try to sneak whatever they think is fine in without telling you. (Including different brands of formula)

Ask what their time schedule is on feeding? When baby seems hungry? Every 3 hours? Every 2? 4?

Ask how long they will let a baby lie on the floor (at different ages) and cry before they try to comfort him when you leave or when he falls?

Ask if they are required to call you if the baby hasn't been dropped off within 15 minutes (or whatever #) of your usual time?
And if they are, do they accept a note saying you won't be attending tomorrow? Or will they still call you?

Ask if they allow the staff to bite the baby's nails if they feel the nails are too long?

That's all I can remember of my worst problems at the moment.


dude. There better be no answer besides NO.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/27/2008 6:52:56 PM)

I personally would be more comfortable with an individual also Erin...either a SAHM who needs a little more income or someone with older kids or whatever. I personally feel that they would get better and more individualized care that way. I also think it would be easier since you plan to breast feed as much as possible...and individual may be able to drive up to your work (at your expense for gas maybe?) several times a day for you to BF the baby still. I know you plan to pump too, but that would make it easier also if the person who watched the baby could bring the baby to you more readily.



betterisoneday -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/27/2008 6:54:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlessedMamaofmany

quote:

ORIGINAL: betterisoneday


Ask if they allow the staff to bite the baby's nails if they feel the nails are too long?


dude. There better be no answer besides NO.



Yeah, the idea that would ever happen had never even crossed my mind. And then the lady wanted to turn me into child services for it...[8|] they weren't so long he could scratch himself.



ChelseaRae -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/27/2008 11:42:18 PM)

Erin I was just reading this chapter in the book "Protecting the Gift" and I highly highly highly recommend it!!!! It covers everything you asked and questions that would never even begin to cross my mind and there is a really in depth questionnaire for daycare providers. It goes over so many important things about how to protect your children, I can't recommend it highly enough!!


eta: I just looked at some of the reviews the book got on Amazon and it seems everyone there agrees![:)]



doinkdom -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/28/2008 5:12:25 PM)

I know daycare costs today border the ridiculous, but have you considered someone coming to your home rather than going to a daycare? Or even to someone's else's home?

I would also talk to others in your church group with small children. Many times, you find there is a mom who would love the extra money to watch your child.

I know if I had to do it all over again...I would do everything I could to avoid using a daycare.



reach -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/28/2008 7:48:57 PM)

Another option might be a college student who is going to school at night and could watch you child in the day. I did that a lot of my summers off to make some extra money. Back in the day I got $80 a week, for my friends 2 boys. That was a lot of extra for me, and a huge saving for her.



29redballoons -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/28/2008 9:45:38 PM)

Erin, what state are you in and I can find the state website for you and it will give you all of the providers reviews. In Ga, ours are listed at bright from the start, and it literally lists everything we have been cited for or warned against.

And, for the record...when a provider cares for your child for nine hours daily, we have them more awake hours than some are at home...I have done things for children...nevermind, sometimes you have to be here to understand. I'll bet trimming nails would be a blessing for some busy moms. [:)]



PrincessDonna -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/28/2008 9:55:59 PM)

I cut the fingernails of the last little boy I watched. I never mentioned it to his mom...just did it. But I think there's a difference between clipping them and biting them off.

Erin, I'm with those who recommend looking for a mom of one or two of her own little ones who could use the extra money. Your baby will be exposed to less in the way of germs and will get much more one on one care. Someone you already know would be ideal for this, if you can think of anyone who is already a SAHM and that you trust, ask them if they are interested.



SweetLittleErin -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/29/2008 10:22:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: 29redballoons

Erin, what state are you in and I can find the state website for you and it will give you all of the providers reviews. In Ga, ours are listed at bright from the start, and it literally lists everything we have been cited for or warned against.

And, for the record...when a provider cares for your child for nine hours daily, we have them more awake hours than some are at home...I have done things for children...nevermind, sometimes you have to be here to understand. I'll bet trimming nails would be a blessing for some busy moms. [:)]


I live in Arkansas. I'd appreciate somewhere with reviews. I've found the listings of the ones in my area, but never anything with reviews.

There are no SAHMs in my church(my church is very small, congregation of about 50(counting kids), and I dont know any in my area (that I would come close to trusting anyway).

My good friend is a working mother and thats how I heard about the deal with this one daycare. But what scares me is that this daycare got good reviews then all of a sudden, it the "bad" one.

We are currently exploring the possibility of a family member watching the baby. Hubbys mom has now volunteered, so we are considering it. At least as an option, that way if we do pick a daycare and it turns out "bad", or run into a long waiting list, we have an option. I would be more comfortable with my MIL anyway, I KNOW she'd honor my wishes as a parent...(now MY mom on the other hand...thats a whole 'nother thread).

Daycares in this area all run $70-75 a week. Which is probably much less costly than in home care. I dont know of anyone in this area that does anything like that. I live in a very small very rural area.



doinkdom -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/29/2008 11:27:44 AM)

You might also ask your pediatrician for referrals.



stellaluna -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/29/2008 12:20:01 PM)

Posting cold.

Our state maintains a website that lists all licensed childcare providers, license status, violations, etc. Maybe yours has one, too?



Ellie-Mae -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/29/2008 2:23:15 PM)

<hands Stella a sweater and some cocoa>

That is really wonderful that your MIL can babysit. I would recommend still trying to find one other family as backup in case you MIL can't watch your baby for some reason (ie... unforeseen hospital stay, sick, a no-kids appointment).



woodwind228 -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/29/2008 3:16:49 PM)

My youngest dd was in an in-home daycare for a while. I really liked it. I went to the state website to get a list of all the licensed in-home daycares in the area. I prepared a questionnaire and I asked every provider the same questions. I also asked for references. I visited the home/facility with my dd so (1) I could check the place out, and (2) to see how my dd interacted with the provider. The fees I paid were slightly less than a daycare center and much better care was provided. This lady didn't just "babysit", but she had a structured day.

I would ask to see any contracts/forms you'd need to fill out. I had to sign a contract and a lot of the same type paperwork I'd have to for a daycare center. Among some of the questions I asked were:

Do you have pets? If so, are their shots current?
Do you have stairs? If so, are they slip resistant?
What happens if/when you're sick? Vacation? Is there a backup provider in your absense?
Am I free to pop in unannounced to see my child? (it's good to catch them off guard to see how they really are when you're not around)
What is their discipline policy?
Who is allowed to pickup the child other than yourself? Do they check ID if someone else picks up the child?
What are the ages of the other kids in their care?

Those are just some questions I can remember off the top of my head. I think it's great that your MIL offered to help. This could be especially good in the beginning since most daycares (and even in-home daycares) will not take a child less than 6 weeks old.



rcorson -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/29/2008 3:20:48 PM)

Hi Erin,

I have had both of my kids in daycare since they were 6 weeks old (9 yo and 3.5 yo now) out of necessity. We are also on a budget so the cost of daycare was a biggie for us as well. Here are my thoughts:

- After seeing some of the home providers in the area, DH and I came to greatly prefer public daycares. They were generally cheaper and the hours were more convenient for us. Most of the home daycares had very strict opening and closing times and most only basically only gave us 30 mins to get to work and 30 mins to get home (with regards to their opening and closing times). Had we gone with a home provider, this would have wreaked havoc on us as our schedules can occasionally flex one way or another.

- As gross as this may sound, public daycares are great places to build your child's immunity to the standard diseases like colds and the flu. My kids were sick the first year or so but after that, they hardly ever get sick now and they have been exposed to all kinds of nasty things. Occasionally they bring the flu or cold home to me but its rare for them to get sick from it.

- You don't have to worry about a provider going on vacation and leaving you to find other care.

Anyway, those are the pros. Here's what I would look for in a daycare (public or private):

- Do the kids seem generally happy?
- How are the providers interacting with the kids?
- What kind of art do you see on the walls? (This is a good indication of how much teaching they do with the kids)
- What are the ratio's of adults to kids?
- What kind of activities do they do with each age group?
- How are the kids disciplined when they misbehave?
- What happens when your child gets sick or hurt and when will they call you about it?

These are just a few questions to ask and look for in a daycare. The biggest key is that if the owner is friendly, willing to work with you, the kids and providers seem happy and parents have said good things about the daycare, then you have probably found a winner. Don't discount home daycares as they have their advantages as well. I admire anyone will to take care of a child for someone!

Good luck in your quest and I hope your MIL works out for you if you choose to go with her.



LaurainAL -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/29/2008 3:22:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: clag4christ

Yes...and maybe instead of looking into a daycare you could try looking into how much it would cost to do in home care...would one of the women at your church (older with grown children) be willing to watch your new baby for a fee? I'm not sure how much in home care runs but it could be comparable and worth looking into...Almost like a nanny type thing.


The only problem with this that I see is that there is no one there watching to make sure she is doing a good job and treating the child well. I have seen to many Nanny-cam horror stories that I prefer a liscensed daycare center.

One tip: Drop by unannounced around a meal time to see how organized and happy the children are.



SweetLittleErin -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/29/2008 3:29:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellie-Mae

<hands Stella a sweater and some cocoa>

That is really wonderful that your MIL can babysit. I would recommend still trying to find one other family as backup in case you MIL can't watch your baby for some reason (ie... unforeseen hospital stay, sick, a no-kids appointment).


Fortunately for us, both me and my hubby have very flexible jobs. Not the flexible take the baby with you kind of job, but the "take off spur of the moment" kind where they are family minded. Hubby can also work from home alot of the time (fun being your own boss heh?)



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/29/2008 3:33:20 PM)

quote:

Hubby can also work from home alot of the time (fun being your own boss heh?)

so is Klay going to be keeping the baby home most days and you only needing care a few days a week? If so then maybe the MIL would work out best. My issue with situations like that is that Grandma can easily get burnt out if it's ALL the time...they can go from being grandma to having to be the care provider all the time and they can sometimes lose that fun side that I think all kids need in a grandparent.



SweetLittleErin -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/29/2008 3:53:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2

quote:

Hubby can also work from home alot of the time (fun being your own boss heh?)

so is Klay going to be keeping the baby home most days and you only needing care a few days a week? If so then maybe the MIL would work out best. My issue with situations like that is that Grandma can easily get burnt out if it's ALL the time...they can go from being grandma to having to be the care provider all the time and they can sometimes lose that fun side that I think all kids need in a grandparent.


Klay is going to keep the baby half days (I'm going to work part time for a few weeks) and we are weighing the options of him keeping the baby a few days a week. Its one of the things we are discussing. But he may have a different job opportunity coming up which might change that, still flexible but not so much working at home...but thats just a possibility that may or may not come about.

Yeah, I wasnt about to ASK either mother to be full time babysitter, which is why we never considered the option before, but she is wanting to now. But we would never insist or ask, because I agree, its alot of stress. But we may use her full time until the baby is at least older and no so tiny, especially since it will be wintertime. Just one more option that at least makes me less stressed.



stellaluna -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/29/2008 10:42:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellie-Mae
<hands Stella a sweater and some cocoa>

[:D]



isaacsmom -> RE: Choosing a Daycare (5/29/2008 11:03:42 PM)

Erin, ironically as I'm reading this thread and the news story about the daycare (MRSA outbreak) is on. Channel 5. They said the last child who died hadn't attended their facility for a month prior.



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