RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (Full Version)

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PrincessDonna -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (5/28/2008 10:11:20 PM)

quote:

And frankly, with all you have been through, I can't imagine you being worse off! LOL


LOL...thanks...I think.[;)]

As far as the crazy thing, I think I may need to lean heavily on my sisters in Christ for a time, and of course on God. But I think I will be okay if I can just talk, cry, pray, whatever, and not try to pretend everything is okay if it isn't, KWIM?



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (5/28/2008 10:13:31 PM)

Yeah, I do, and I think you are correct.



Royal.Fortress -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (5/29/2008 12:12:09 PM)

Donna - I'm glad you starting this thread [:)]

quote:

But I think I will be okay if I can just talk, cry, pray, whatever, and not try to pretend everything is okay if it isn't, KWIM?


I think that this is the key. If you go through with the surgery, you *are* losing a huge part of yourself (literally and figuratively) and it's okay to mourn that ... especially at your age! I remember my mom had a hard time with her emotions and dealing with feeling not like a woman when she had hers - in her mid-40s for SEVERE hemorrhaging every month during her cycles. I think having a healthy understanding of what is going to happen to you *emotionally* as well as physically is key to getting through it.

(((Donna))) I can't imagine having to make that decision just four years from now! (And I still can't ever believe that you're only 28 ... you seem so much older!! You're so wise!) I'll be praying for you.



W.O.F. -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (5/31/2008 8:21:21 AM)

Donna,

You know that You are loved beyond all measure!

My mother had to have a hysterectomy at age 39...she SHOULD have had it sooner....NOT having it and living with the constant pain and hormone fluctuations (because endo does affect them too) made her crazy (okay...maybe not crazy..but pretty mentally imbalanced..seriously)....

While I wish you were not having to face this...I do believe that this is probably God's way of saying "you are done with natural children...." and that He wants you to show His love and grace through this difficult path for a reason beyond our understanding. We so often want Him to tell us when we are done having children..and then we wrestle with those very clear answers when they get put in our way...whether it be through health issues, or whatever. WE so need to trust Him to work all for our good, and the good of those around us! (and I am the worst at seeing that....so I am preaching to myself here.....not you !)

My mom was prayed for and was healed prior to her surgery (about 2 weeks prior). She FELT the healing...and yet...2 weeks later she went through an emergency hysterectomy. She was, at first, very angry with God...then she started talking with her roommate. Her roommate was a 28 year old woman with uterine cancer...who wasn't saved. My mom was able to minister to her and she got saved...and healed....my mom was in the hospital for about 2 weeks (this was a a long time ago...lol..she is 65 now)...and this young woman's tests came back completely clear at the end of those two weeks. My mom was able to get her connected with a good church as well. Did God heal my mother? Yes.......long enough so that she would be in the hospital when THIS young woman was there...because SHE needed the gospel.

All that to say....as hard as this is...be sure that God's Hand is in it..and He will lovingly guide you through it.

Know that it is okay to mourn..even years from now...over having to make this decision.

Know that I am praying for you and for God to just give you peace and a clear cut answer before this jellybean is born.

and most of all



KNOW that nothing changes the fact that you are loved beyond all measure.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (5/31/2008 10:43:17 AM)

Thanks, WOF. That is exactly what I needed to read this morning. Thank you.

Brian and I had a stay in bed, snuggle, and talk morning. I love those. Happy sigh. We talked quite a bit about this topic. He doesn't want to make a decision one way or another and admitted it is because he is not comfortable making a decision about MY body (God bless that man...I can't be mad at him for being indecisive, when so many women have husbands who want to decide everything for them, KWIM?). He is sad that we won't have more babies if we go ahead with it (again...God bless that man...he loves my whale-like body even when I don't). But most of all, he is stuck in the "but God hasn't told us what to do" thing that I have struggled with. Bottom line...he understands the reasons why it is looking like this is the time, is willing to support me no matter what I decide, and really hopes God will get that mega-phone out for us so there will be no doubt.

We talked a bit about the changes that a hysterectomy is likely to bring. I don't think he had thought about that at all, other than me not being in constant pain when I'm not pregnant. He had no idea of the kind of changes that come with menopause, even surgical. I told him his "happy place" may turn into a desert...he told me that we'll irrigate it.[8D] From what I understand, it also gets shorter at first because the cervix is removed and a vaginal cuff is made (maybe someone knows more about this???). Call me shallow, but I am concerned about our sex life afterward. I mean...I don't want to trade the pain for other things that make things not work right! Anyway, even after I told him all that I know about the changes that might happen, his attitude was that we will deal with it and it'll be okay. (Did I ever tell you I love that man?)

Then the emotional changes that are possible, at least while we are figuring out what hormone replacement or natural alternative works best for my body...I don't know how he will deal with all that. He's not usually a person to support me in the way I need supporting, if that makes sense? Meaning, I think I need to not rely on him for things he doesn't have to give, but I'm not sure if that's the right attitude. I know my main support needs to come from God, but still...Brian is important, and he needs to plan on me needing him a bit more than usual, right? I know you all and some friends IRL will be invaluable to me during this time too.

I'm scared of the unknown. Always have been. But I know God will grow me in this situation and I trust Him. I guess the decision is made since Brian won't say decisively either way and my heart knows this is the right thing. So...that's where I'm at now, planning on going ahead with this unless God very clearly shows us not to (which I am more than open to!).



Brandy -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (5/31/2008 11:23:32 AM)

What a great post WOF, even I gleaned some loving from that, thank you!

Donna, my mom kept her cervix. They took fallopians and uterine body but left cervix as a 'cap', not sure if that's an option for you. Add to list [:D]

Brian is a great guy for not wanting to make the decision for you, where you've seen men be too controlling I've seen men be too hands off, "It's your body, your decision" and not help at all. I don't know which end of the spectrum would be worse for me to deal with.

Would it help Brian at all to have a discussion just prior to surgery about what you may or may not need support wise? You do know his limits, which is awesome, but I think he'd try to step his efforts if he knew how much you needed certain things. I'm thinking like not having to ask for help with kids, just making a dinner or two, or even just as simple as "Please hug and touch me as often as you can, I need that connection"

I've said that to Jeremy a few times when dealing some heavy stuff. It surprises him because I'm usually the opposite, let me deal on my own type, I will come to you for stuff. But there are areas where I just need that physical touch to help re-set my brain and move forward.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (5/31/2008 11:30:21 AM)

I am not sure what you mean by the the cervix and the vaginal cuff thing. Ummm... Russ and I are doing as well as ever (better because I an not uncomfortable and don't menstrate anymore), The only problem that I had was that I had some scar tissue that needed to be stretched a little, but it didn't take much to fix that.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (5/31/2008 11:58:56 AM)

quote:

Donna, my mom kept her cervix. They took fallopians and uterine body but left cervix as a 'cap', not sure if that's an option for you. Add to list


I will add it to the list. Not sure I want to keep it though...if I don't have it anymore, then no more pap smears! LOL

quote:

Would it help Brian at all to have a discussion just prior to surgery about what you may or may not need support wise? You do know his limits, which is awesome, but I think he'd try to step his efforts if he knew how much you needed certain things. I'm thinking like not having to ask for help with kids, just making a dinner or two, or even just as simple as "Please hug and touch me as often as you can, I need that connection"


Good point. Yeah, I think it'll help if we have that discussion right before the surgery. He's not a good long-term thinker, and to him, December or January is forever away.[:D]

quote:

I am not sure what you mean by the the cervix and the vaginal cuff thing. Ummm... Russ and I are doing as well as ever (better because I an not uncomfortable and don't menstrate anymore), The only problem that I had was that I had some scar tissue that needed to be stretched a little, but it didn't take much to fix that.


Well, if your doctor took your cervix, then I think they had to do the vaginal cuff thing. I think it's where they kind of fold it over and sew it up where the cervix was, because they have to make it so there's no opening?

I did talk to my mom (in a very bizarre conversation...LOL) about this a little too and she said it just took some stretching and then things were fine. So hopefully it'll all be alright. I'm sure not being in pain anymore, after the initial surgery stuff, will be a huge improvement for us anyway, so I'll try to focus on that instead of the unknowns.
[:D]



PastorPatricia -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/2/2008 8:47:57 PM)

Donna, I know how you are feeling. I had a hysterectomy at age 30. We had four children at the time. As I look back now it was the best thing I could have done. I felt so much better and had so much more energy. We had no intentions of having more children but God had other plans and brought a small baby girl into our lives in a most unusal way and we adopted her. She is married now and has given us three grandchildren. Trust God to work through your doctor and together work out the best solution for you. God bless you and your family.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/2/2008 8:50:50 PM)

Thank you for your story! It's good to hear a success.[:D]



PrincessDonna -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/20/2008 11:50:43 AM)

Going to work on getting my list of questions together sometime today. My appointment is next Thursday. (HOW is it possible another month has gone by already??)



lexie -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/20/2008 1:27:19 PM)

(((Donna)))



PrincessDonna -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/23/2008 11:12:14 PM)

Thanks, Lexie. I still don't have my list together. I will by my appointment though. I plan to post them here when I have the list ready, and also the answers the doctor gives me.

I did talk to our pastor's wife tonight about this. Someone had told me that she had a complete hysterectomy at a young age also. I'm very glad I talked with her. Turns out she also had endometriosis, but back then (she is 70ish now), they didn't know much about it (not that they do now either[&o]) and they didn't know that was what she had until after her hysterectomy was done. After asking me a few questions, she absolutely agreed that if we are done having babies, this is the best option for us. It was very encouraging for me to talk with her, and confirmation that we are not jumping the gun. Not once did she make me feel we should just pray harder or have more faith.



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/23/2008 11:49:55 PM)

As far as the nursing thing, could you get the hysterectomy, and then if necessary take those drugs that help lactation, or would you be on too many other meds?



PrincessDonna -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/23/2008 11:57:26 PM)

I think if it came to that, I'd prefer to just not take hormones until I am done nursing. I'm not sure if I can get away with that...but that is my preference. Another question for my list...[;)]

I do want to nurse very badly, but I'm also not opposed to formula if we need to do that. I know that we may need to go with formula in order for me to be healthy, and I know that if I am not healthy (including mentally), then it is not good for any of my children, my husband, or myself. So I think this is one of the unknowns that we just can't know and decide how to deal with until we're there, KWIM?



Room2Grow -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/24/2008 9:04:13 AM)

Donna- You have been in my thoughts a lot lately. I really don't know what to tell you except that if you need a sounding board and support, I'm here- sending lots of hugs!



PrincessDonna -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/25/2008 12:31:39 PM)

I am so procrastinating on making this list for my doctor.[&o] But I will be leaving for the rest of the day in a couple hours and my appointment is at 9 tomorrow morning.[:o]

So here goes what I have...some of these I have already asked, but I want to ask again and make sure I get the same answer. I don't like surprises.[;)]

-When is the best time to do to the surgery after baby? (3-4 months is what two different doctors have told me.)
-Will you need to open up my previous scar (belly button to pubic bone) or is it possible to do this (and do it WELL) with a combo vaginal and laproscopic surgery?
-Is there any chance of leaving the remaining ovary, if the endometriosis is completely cleaned out?
-What kind of things can I expect to deal with after the surgery? (ha...that's a nice open-ended question[;)])
-Is it necessary to start HRT right away or would it make sense to see how my body reacts first?
-What effect will HRT have on breastfeeding (I would like to nurse my baby for at least a year)?
-If HRT will affect breastfeeding, is it possible and safe to not take any hormones until I am done nursing?
-Do you prescribe synthetic or bioidentical hormones? (Bio-identical are newer and seem to be the preferred method.)
-Do you recommend any "natural" supplements to help with symptoms?
-From my research, if I do need HRT, I should only need estrogen, not progesterone. Is this true? And the lowest dose that takes care of my symptoms is all I need?
-What effect can I expect on my sex life? What are the common solutions for usual problems?
-Will I go crazy? This may sound silly, but I am very worried about this.

Can you guys think of anything else I should add?



PrincessDonna -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/25/2008 1:14:56 PM)

OH! Some that totally need to be on there...

-Will the baby be allowed to be with me post-op in the hospital the entire time, if someone is there to care for the baby?
-I expect to breastfeed my baby, just a c-section mom would be able to, without having to pump and dump. Will you make sure any meds I am given are safe for the baby?



paulsbride -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/25/2008 2:11:13 PM)

- will your doctor write you a prescription for heavy dosages of chocolate?

I hear if it's prescribed you don't gain weight AND there is no guilt. [;)]



FAWIHTT -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/25/2008 3:30:48 PM)

I had a complete hysterectomy over a year ago and the recovery time was long and hard. I would make sure that you are prepared for that. My doctor put me on Premarin for hormones and I needed them at first but I haven't taken them in months now and I don't have any problems not taking them.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/25/2008 9:57:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: paulsbride

- will your doctor write you a prescription for heavy dosages of chocolate?

I hear if it's prescribed you don't gain weight AND there is no guilt. [;)]


HA! I am totally putting that on the list. My doctor will get a kick out of that.[:D]

quote:

I had a complete hysterectomy over a year ago and the recovery time was long and hard. I would make sure that you are prepared for that. My doctor put me on Premarin for hormones and I needed them at first but I haven't taken them in months now and I don't have any problems not taking them.


If you don't mind answering a few questions...

How old were you? What was the reason for the hysterectomy? What is in Premarin hormone-wise and is that a synthetic or a bioidentical, if you know? How did you know you didn't need them anymore?

ETA....I looked up Premarin...it is estrogen only and synthetic, which I would like to avoid. Did you all know that the synthetic hormones are made from horse pee?[:'(] The bioidentical ones are plant-based and have been found to be closer to the hormones our bodies produce naturally...just in case anyone else needed to know that factoid some day...[;)]



FAWIHTT -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/26/2008 7:43:24 AM)

no I didn't know I had a cysyt attached to my ovaries. They drained 2 liters of fluid out of it. It was huge and I am bad about taking meds I stopped taking due to forgetting to take it and then I realized I was fine without it. i know another lady the same thing. No i didn't know about the horse pee ty for the info.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/26/2008 11:57:33 AM)

Went through my list with my doctor. I really, really love him. He is just great...a great listener, a great explainer, a great doctor.

-When is the best time to do to the surgery after baby? He now says he wants to do it 2 months after the baby is born, to make sure we get everything before it has any chance to start spreading more. So instead of January, we're looking at early November.

-Will you need to open up my previous scar (belly button to pubic bone) or is it possible to do this (and do it WELL) with a combo vaginal and laproscopic surgery? He thinks he can do it laproscopically, especially if we do it at 2 months postpartum.

-Is there any chance of leaving the remaining ovary, if the endometriosis is completely cleaned out? If we leave the ovary, chances are, it will grow more "mess" and I'll need another surgery later to remove that too. He strongly recommends taking the whole thing out in my case.

-What kind of things can I expect to deal with after the surgery? (ha...that's a nice open-ended question ) Depends on whether it is able to be done laproscopically or open.

-Is it necessary to start HRT right away or would it make sense to see how my body reacts first? He recommends starting the lowest dose estrogen right away, but will leave it up to me.

-What effect will HRT have on breastfeeding (I would like to nurse my baby for at least a year)? On the lowest dose that takes care of any symptoms, it should not effect bfing because that estrogen won't be any more than my body would already produce on its own.

-If HRT will affect breastfeeding, is it possible and safe to not take any hormones until I am done nursing? Up to me, but again...since I would naturally have hormones anyway, a low dose will not affect baby.

-Do you prescribe synthetic or bioidentical hormones? (Bio-identical are newer and seem to be the preferred method.) Bioidentical.

-Do you recommend any "natural" supplements to help with symptoms? No, but he is willing to work with me if I want to try them.

-From my research, if I do need HRT, I should only need estrogen, not progesterone. Is this true? And the lowest dose that takes care of my symptoms is all I need? Yes and yes.

-What effect can I expect on my sex life? What are the common solutions for usual problems? He expects that with my history of pain from the endometriosis, we should see a great improvement in our sex life. Lubrication may be an issue, but that is easily dealt with.

-Will I go crazy? This may sound silly, but I am very worried about this. He doesn't think so, but they will watch me carefully because of being postpartum AND having a hysterectomy so close together.

-Will the baby be allowed to be with me post-op in the hospital the entire time, if someone is there to care for the baby? Yes, absolutely. If laproscopic, the longest I should have to be there is overnight anyway.

-I expect to breastfeed my baby, just a c-section mom would be able to, without having to pump and dump. Will you make sure any meds I am given are safe for the baby? Not a problem.

- will your doctor write you a prescription for heavy dosages of chocolate? Yes.[:D]



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/26/2008 12:01:07 PM)

Donna, that sounds wonderful! What a blessing.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Hysterectomy at 28 (6/26/2008 12:21:22 PM)

Thanks! After my talk with the pastor's wife the other night and getting answers that I was hoping for from my doctor, I am feeling very much at peace with this decision. A little sad that this piece of me that has had such an important job is going to be gone, but at the same time, I know it has done its job well. LOL I'm sure I'll have up and down days, but I am thankful for the peace we have now. I have a lot of support and I am so thankful for that too.

AND...having the surgery in November does also solve some problems we were facing...the furnace should be fine at that point for Brian to get it going well before he leaves and maybe someone can stop in once during the day if it's real cold. In January, we often have to go down every hour so I would have needed someone here with me until I could do it on my own. If I don't need someone for the furnace then friends can come and take Hannah and Levi (and I know they will all ask/demand to do so anyway), so I'll just have the tiny baby to deal with. Piece of cake compared to chasing a 21 month old and dealing with a sometimes argumentative 3 year old.[;)]

I'm very encouraged about this today and know that it will all work out just right.



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