Creative Discipline Ideas (Full Version)

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TammyIsBlessed -> Creative Discipline Ideas (5/28/2008 11:43:22 AM)

Do you have any creative discipline ideas?

Here are a few I've seen on the boards recently....

Making your children walk with their hands on their heads or over their mouths when they haven't been listening appropriately in public.

Having a penny time out - same as time out but they have to hold a penny against a wall using their nose.

I thought it would be great to have a thread to give each other ideas.



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/28/2008 11:56:56 AM)

When the boys are fighting and acting goofy in public I make them be quiet and hold hands with each other. They're 11 (almost 12) and 8. This is not a fun punishment.

For back talking at home they have to take a shot of vinegar and write lines.

If they fight constantly at home over who gets to do what when I make them clean the toilet. (it sparkles some weekends!)



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/28/2008 1:06:29 PM)

quote:

Having a penny time out - same as time out but they have to hold a penny against a wall using their nose.

yeah this is what we do (I am the one the mentioned it in the other thread). I started it because in the area we lived you couldn't really even look at your kids cross eyed out in public without someone wanting to call the cops on you, and let's face it, there are times when kids need a stern look or discipline when you are out to remind them that they have brains and know how to use them. So we started this one....I can say out in public with anyone hearing what I say and only my kids know what I mean. I don't have to use it often, it really works for them and they remember very well the affects of it...but out in public if they are acting up I can ask them if they want to hold my penny and they immediately straighten up!!! Basically they stand with their nose to the wall and a penny (or other coin) is places between their nose and the wall. If they drop it they have to start over time. We usually do time for time outs by one minute for every year old...or so...the penny makes it harder so sometimes that time is cut down depending ion the age of the child. It is very hard to hold it against the wall though, so we don't start it til they are probably about 3 or so (we haven't ever used this with our three and a half year old....hmmmm.....have to remember that).


Another older mother when I was pregnant with my first told me her advice (esp for boys she said...she had four boys). She was a very small woman (not quite 5 ft tall) and knew her boys would out weigh and out size her very fast. So when they would get annoyed and need to work off things, she would get them doing calisthenics's. She would have them do jumping jacks or run or things like that to work off their needed energy or extra emotional junk. She said even through high school they would get angry at something and would immediately go for a run or go out and do exercise. As adults they all stayed fit too and continued the tradition on with their own kids, and one at that time had run several marathons because he loved running so much!!!!
My parents did things like that sometimes too....things like push ups or sit ups, etc.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/28/2008 1:07:43 PM)

oh I heard this one once from my friend....she and her sister would fight all the time, so their mom would put one on each side of a sliding glass door and make them clean it on both sides looking at each other....lol



pbaribeault -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/28/2008 3:20:57 PM)

"Creative Discipline" involves a lot more than novel ideas for what to do when someone is naughty. It involves knowing your child, learning from them and having a good idea of their motivations, desires and capacities. It's about creating a situation that brings out the best in your child

I am learning more and more that my daughter is sweet and wants to please me, and that she mostly over reacts in situations of conflict because she is overwhelmed by the idea that she and I are somehow not right, not getting along, angry or whatever.

From her I've learned to impose limits, but not make them personal. That way I can be sympathetic with her, give the feeling that I am on the same side as her, even as I follow the rules I've made about the consequences of actions.Nothing head-to-head ever works with my child.

How this looks in real life is that I watch for any difficulties that she might be having in her attitude or with her own self control regarding limits. When she seems to be getting agitated in any way, or she is not getting along well with me, I tell her that it is time for her to sit on her red spot (a place mat on the floor).

I ask her to choose where the red spot is going to be. I allow her to take some books, and I get her a blanket, a stuffed animal and any other reasonable thing she might want to make her stay on the red spot pleasant. I tell her that she must sit there, not talking, making no sounds and not getting off the spot, and I leave the room or make myself boring for 6 to 10 minutes.

After this time I ask her if she is feeling better, if she is calm (or if she is sorry for her behaviour, if she actually got far enough to have done something wrong). I tell her what was happening before and that I'm sure she can manage herself better now that she is calm. I tell her again what kind of behaviour is acceptable, and what choices are the wiser ones.

Of course, she doesn't always agree nicely to have some red spot time, in which case I simply put the spot down where I know she won't like it, and ask her if that's a good spot. She rushes right over and moves it to a spot she wants it in. Then it is easy to ask her what she would like me to bring her, and she's sitting down before she knows it.

Sometimes we still get full-scale resistance, and that's when I put her in her room. If she is only crying and flailing, we leave the door open. If she is screaming, I close the door. If she comes out of her room, I put a childproof knob cover on. I check back periodically and ask her if she is ready to be calm, and when I get a positive response, we have a hug, I help her control her breathing, and then I ask her where I should put the red spot...

The difference here is that the red spot is not a traditional punishment oriented time out. It is a chance for her to be mostly alone, but comfortable and able to catch up with herself. It's a tool for her own self control, and it usually results in vastly improved behaviour, without sending her into an emotional tailspin.



kernsfamily -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/28/2008 3:29:16 PM)

quote:

For back talking at home they have to take a shot of vinegar and write lines.


My wife, being a native of FAR South Louisiana, has our kids swallow a teaspoon of TABASCO for talking back, or talking REALLY mean to their sisters,etc..etc......

though, when our oldest was 3 or 4, and my wife did that for the first time, our daughter actually LIKED it!



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/28/2008 4:16:32 PM)

I had that some problem with Thing 1 which is why we went the vinegar route. [:D]



notmycity -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/28/2008 5:53:47 PM)

Here are a few:


Prov 13:24
24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
(KJV)


Prov 19:18
18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
(KJV)

Prov 23:13-14
13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
(KJV)

Prov 29:15
15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
(KJV)

Prov 29:17
17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.
(KJV)



Flutebomb -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/28/2008 6:31:54 PM)

Nice verses notmycity but you don't have to spank if the "crime" or public situation doesn't warrant it. The use of creative disciplinary measures is a great way to correct unacceptable behavior.

When DD1 (3yo) gets old enough to stand still for about three minutes, I'm planning on having her stand at attention (arms down at sides, hands formed like fists, eyes forward, legs straight, heals together, no movement except blinking and breathing) during timeouts. I think this would work great combined with the penny time out.

I'm also thinking of using Warheads to correct sassy talk. I let her try a Warhead once just for the fun of it and she hated it. She thought she'd have to finish it (since she has to eat all the food in all her meals or get no other food or drinks until the next meal) but we assured her that we could throw that one away without being in trouble.



karlie -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/28/2008 6:40:19 PM)

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locomom -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/29/2008 1:56:14 AM)

One creative discipline we used was to take my daughter's room away from her at certain times. That meant she could sleep in her bed and get clothes out of the closet to wear but otherwise any benefit of her room such as toys stored there, privacy, her colored pencils, etc. were unavailable. She even had to change clothes elsewhere.

The other creative idea I read in one of the Laura Ingalls Wilder books. Pa had told Laura not to go play by the cliff because it was dangerous, but she went anyway. So he told her, "Little girls who can't be trusted have to be watched." She then had to spend at a day or more (I don't remember which) where Ma could see her at all times. I did this with a couple of trust issues. It was somewhat torture for me, but if my daughters behavior got any worse under restriction she lost the privilege of anything to do and had to sit in one spot while I did whatever I needed to. After 15 minutes of sitting on the floor while Mom irons, her behavior improved dramatically.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/29/2008 9:57:12 AM)

Lisa Welchel has a great book on this subject, called Creative Correction. I used her stomping cure--making the child stomp outside on the concrete for several minutes--and have not had a child stomp in my house for years! LOL

My kids get chores for backtalking. I win either way. We also still use Donna's hand-on-mouth or -head trick even though my kids are much older.

Nate talks a LOT and so when he was younger, we actually had a rule that when we played games, he could only speak during his turn. It wasn't a punishment so much as it was self-defense but it DID help him learn to control his tongue and pay attention to what was going on.

I know the mom got flack for this one, but I really admired her for making her daughter stand by the road with the sign that said something like 'I skip classes and get flunking grades, so this is my future: will work for food' LOL



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/29/2008 10:20:06 AM)

I saw one similar where the boys was holding a sign saying, "I was stealing because I want to be in jail with my dad" or something like that. And the mum was sitting in a lawn chair right next to him! My kids would DIE! But I'm sure he learned his lesson too.

A friend of mine was telling me a story about her niece. Apparently she had done something pretty serious and got in trouble at school. Her family was going to Disney World in a few months and her grandmother was planning on going and hanging out around the hotel. When they got there, the dad told her, "Everytime you do something there is a consequence for that action. You (for conversation sake, let's say she skipped school) skipped school so now you're going to see what happens when you don't get an education." her family went to Disney World and she had to stay in the hotel room with her grandmother! She could watch TV but that was it. Then she had to hear about all the amazing things her brothers and sisters got to do. This went on the entire week.

Her father told her, "When you don't get an education, you miss out on opportunities."

She learned her lesson and graduated with a PhD. [;)]



karlie -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/29/2008 10:32:24 AM)

quote:

I know the mom got flack for this one, but I really admired her for making her daughter stand by the road with the sign that said something like 'I skip classes and get flunking grades, so this is my future: will work for food' LOL

quote:


I saw one similar where the boys was holding a sign saying, "I was stealing because I want to be in jail with my dad" or something like that. And the mum was sitting in a lawn chair right next to him!


I personally would never choose an option like that with my children, no matter what their issue. In my opinion, if someone has to resort to public humiliation to "discipline" their child, then they need to dome research into child development and gain a few more parenting skills.



buckifn -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/30/2008 6:10:44 PM)

quote:

I personally would never choose an option like that with my children, no matter what their issue. In my opinion, if someone has to resort to public humiliation to "discipline" their child, then they need to dome research into child development and gain a few more parenting skills.

_____________________________


I agree. Public or private humiliation usually causes anger, bitterness, and resentment, which if suppressed leads to far more serious problems later in life.

I prefer positive correction not negative. Leaving a child's esteem intact is an important part of Godly parenting imo.



truthrevealed -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/30/2008 7:33:32 PM)

I TOTALLY agree that we need to be careful as parents not to inflict punishment that leads to internal guilt and shame---such as the holding up a sign. A teenager might benefit from such chastisement differently than a young child but the most creative and effective form of discipline I've learned is CONSISTENCY!



PrincessDonna -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/30/2008 10:04:51 PM)

In general, humiliation is not the way to go. But...SOME teens in SOME situations may actually learn a lesson from things like that, that they would not have learned otherwise.

My 26 year old brother is going to jail next week for theft, which was committed to fund his drug habit. He could have used some drastic humiliation about 14 years ago when he started down this path.

Bottom line...you have to know your kids and not be afraid to do what works with them, even if it is not what would work for someone else's kid.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/30/2008 10:18:43 PM)

I don't think it's about humiliation. It's along the same lines as taking a shoplifting kid to tour the jail--a lesson in where the path they have chosen is leading.



karlie -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/30/2008 10:21:44 PM)

I think the only time humiliation is effective is if it's a natural consequence of the poor choice or behavior, such as making a fool of yourself in class because you didn't study for an oral exam, or being the only one on the swim team to sit out because you missed too much school. That's a self imposed humiliation which is a direct consequence to the behavior they chose. But deliberately imposing humiliation that has absolutely nothing to do with the behavior(like wearing a sign for all to see) is not going to soften the heart or change the behavior of any child. Besides, making a public statement that a child is a dunce, or is going to fail in life is something I see absolutely no scriptural basis in.



29redballoons -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (5/31/2008 6:29:10 AM)

Here in our town, a repeat offender was placed by the judge for four Saturdays outside a local grocery store with a sigh that said something along the lines of...

I am a thief. I stole from this store. I am learning my lesson and will not do it again. I am also mopping their floors for restitution.

I know at least one of those Sats it was raining and she was still standing there, I liked the creativity.



Laine99 -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (6/28/2008 10:50:45 AM)

When my children were in grade school and they began bickering with each other over toys or chores or tv etc... I made them stand nose to nose with each other. It wasn't long until they began laughing. Especially when they had to accomodate for a size difference with each other. Usually took just a few minutes. They could only touch noses and not talk. They told me later they just hated that, but it got them to stop a refocus on each other and were able to laugh about it.



LovingtheSavior -> RE: Creative Discipline Ideas (7/3/2008 11:22:53 PM)

If are children are arguing we make them stack wood for the wood stove. They have to work together to get the wood from one side of the basement to the other and the physical change in location is helpful. It usually is about 20 pieces for a verbal offense and about 50 for a physical offense. A good day is when I have to lug all of the wood!

We are also very concerned with the idea of restitution. If you wrong someone you make it up to them. Start with an apology and follow up with an action. For example; if my son grabs a toy from my daughter then he needs to apologize, give back the first toy and see what additional toy she may like to use.



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