RE: Why I am not married (Full Version)

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hotsaucygma -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 11:22:17 AM)

Some interesting thoughts Joy. Also interesting comments from several of those posting! I'll need to mull some of this over for awhile.

I think sometimes things we say or think have much more meaning than we intend for them to have. Satan's best weapon is our own mind, that's one thing for certain!



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 11:32:07 AM)

quote:

During the days before I got that book (and others), most of the Scripture I was reading was also about this subject. James 4:7; Eph 4:27; and 1 Peter 5:8-11 were Scriptures that I kept reading over and over. I read other passages too, but I always seemed to come back to those.
So very true. God was preparing me months ahead for this weekend. Even though I didn't know till the last minute I was going to go camping God orchestrated everything for me to be ready to hear what he had to say regarding this issue.

This is one of the reason I am not allowing Satan to whisper words of doubt, regarding this thread, in my mind.

There is someone reading who God has been speaking to for a while in this area.......reading this will just confirm what God has already shown them and enable them to take the next step God has for them.........

quote:

I wanted to learn more about spiritual warfare. It is very real, as I quickly discovered. Now I am more atuned to these types of things, thanks so much to God's revelation to me.
Me as well. I think people often think opening your eyes to spiritual warfare means focusing on Satan but the reverse is true.......the more you open yourself up to the spiritual world the more you see Christ in all His glory.

quote:

But something else that just struck me was that God created us in His image! The devil cannot attack God, not in his wildest dreams. BUT...he can attack the very IMAGE of God
And one of His greatest weapons is tying us up with laws so tightly we never reflect the freedom Christ came to give us.......



wareaglekd -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 11:32:54 AM)

The reasons I think I am not married......I think these change as I get older.

In the early years, I assumed it was because of the people I hung out w/ & eventually becoming pregnant. I thought that I couldn't get dates after I had my son because I figured they would think I had an ulterior motive due to the fact I wasn't getting child support. As time went on, I decided it was not this. I did have someone break our engagement stating he couldn't afford both of us, but later on, I realized it was more than that & he just wouldn't tell me.

I've struggled w/ weight over the years. I think my personality is effected because of it. It seems at this point in life I do talk about it too much & I'm trying to change that. I've joined a First Place program so now my accountability is to the women in the class. It helps tremendously & I know longer feel I'm bothering others about it. Instead, they ask me how I'm doing w/ it. It's best that way.

My parents. My dad was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. As he got older, he got worst. He died at 70 & it was the most tragic thing ever. As time went on, I began to understand my mother better. She thinks she's just like the woman in "A Beautiful Mind." Couldn't be farther from the truth. She fought & manipulated him & was extremely angry at him for getting sick. Now that he's gone, she does that to her children. She tries to control us & can be downright cruel at times. I think I push men away because I don't want them to have to deal w/ her. I'm concerned my personality may become like hers (I tend to be loud, but at least I'm aware of it.)

Spiritual reasons. I was raised Southern Baptist, but lived in a professed Christian home. My Lord began changing me slowly at the time I became pregnant (24). I realized my differences between me & my family. Then, the church I went to went through a serious split. About 100 of us took the pastor & started a new church. We are now non-denominational. We have survived for over 14 years, but many of the members have changed. There's probably 75 members now & 30% are original members. I believe I've become set in my ways & considering what I went through w/ my fiance, I don't think anyone is praying heavily for me to find someone else (that was 14 years ago). I have studied, "Created to Be His Helpmeet", & it helped me tremendously in changing a lot of my personal beliefs that I hung on to for years. I'm believing that I could never just find the one perfect person to meet me where I'm at spiritually. I know it would take a major movement by God to put someone like that in my life. I don't give up. A wonderful young lady in my church prayed about her future husband. He ended up being a missionary to Scotland (family in California) whom she met via his sister in Boston (we are from Alabama). God can make things happen His way in His time.

Now, I don't think it's for me to question or be proactive out, much unlike what men should do. It will happen in its time. I've been a work in progress for many years & believe God is still doing a lot of work on me. At 46, I'm now believing that I'm not even ready for marriage. Doesn't make me content, but it makes me accept what God is doing & not try to write the story of my life myself like I did when I was young.

I think as singles it is important to really focus on what God has in store for us individually & not look at other singles & come up w/ a general picture of how it should be. All our lives are unique in Him. When we get married or not get married is in God's plan. He already knows it, so it's best kept w/ Him. Too bad it took me a long time to figure that out! Of course, this is just my personal opinion & many may reject it, but for me it has been better than fretting over it like I used to. kd



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 11:33:52 AM)

quote:

I think sometimes things we say or think have much more meaning than we intend for them to have.
I agree.....We say them based on our earthly understandings.........often they have little power in this world but have huge impact in the spiritual.



woodwind228 -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 11:39:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl

(Wow - Susan - that's awesome! I may just have to get that book myself!)


It's really a great book and a quick read. It's written by Derek Prince. I loaned it out to someone several months ago for a study she was teaching and am still waiting to get it back. My grandmother wants to read it, but I wouldn't mind reading it yet again.



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 11:42:26 AM)

Wareaglekd thank you so much for sharing. I prayed as I read your post, since many things you posted are areas where satan may try to put you in bondage with beliefs which do not reflect God's heart for you........one such thing was this statement.

quote:

I'm concerned my personality may become like hers
It may have been in you to become like her but in Christ you are a new creation.....those things which were placed in you at birth no longer control who you become. God does. Don't let Satan mislead you into becoming like her........because the truth is you are a reflection of Christ not your mother.



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 11:46:45 AM)

And you know - that's also very important for me to keep in mind too - as I am my father's daughter, with all the garbage that has been put into my head by him all my life. He's the one with whom I've had issues, and still do to this day. But now, I've let God transform me in new ways, and open my eyes to him, and I see him as God does - so what he says doesn't bother me any longer.

What joy there is in THAT freedom!



woodwind228 -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 11:54:07 AM)

I just had to pop back on here to say: what an awesome threat! It's so encouraging and healing for people and I just think that rocks. [sm=dance.gif] We are encouraging one another just like God wants us to. How awesome is that?!



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 11:55:03 AM)

WAY too awesome!!!!!! Thanks for your part in it. [:)]



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 12:01:56 PM)

quote:

We are encouraging one another just like God wants us to. How awesome is that?!
Very awesome.......I love with God so many things are upsidedown from how we see them in this life..........Only in God's kingdom are wars won by encouraging and loving one another.........Only is God's kingdom is the enemy defeated by removing our walls and being vulnerable..........Only in God's kingdom is victory won by letting go of our defenses...........only in God's kingdom does Love speak louder then fear......

Lord thank you so much that we don't have to wait till heaven to walk in your kingdom but we can do so right here on earth........thank you from bringing your kingdom to us........and for giving us the tools to see, hear, and experience your kingdom while still dwelling in this one.



shemaromans -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 12:09:52 PM)

Personally, I think this thread's giving the evil one and ourselves way too much credit...

I'll write more this evening or tomorrow (at work right now, posting illegally!)



hotsaucygma -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 12:10:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl
But now, I've let God transform me in new ways, and open my eyes to him, and I see him as God does - so what he says doesn't bother me any longer.

What joy there is in THAT freedom!

And the bolded part of that quote shows that you are indeed your Father's daughter, Lisa- both of your father's/Father's daughter!! [:D]



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 12:24:10 PM)

quote:

Personally, I think this thread's giving the evil one and ourselves way too much credit...

I'll write more this evening or tomorrow (at work right now, posting illegally!)
I look forward to reading what you write.[:D]

quote:

bolded part of that quote shows that you are indeed your Father's daughter
I agree hsgma........Lisa's testimony of how God is changing her mindsets is powerful.........I marvel at God's transformation power every time I read what God is doing..........

I am laughing at the moment........I just had a picture pop into my mind of Lisa as a transformer........you know those cartoon characters.........

I never really liked that cartoon before but now it is taking on a whole new meaning.......for we are indeed transformers and as we are transformed into new creations we are equipped with more and more power to over come and defeat the enemy.........

Lisa I might just have to buy one of those transformer action figures to remind me of the power which comes with transformation as displayed through your life.......

[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 12:26:12 PM)

quote:

Lisa I might just have to buy one of those transformer action figures to remind me of the power which comes with transformation as displayed through your life.......


Oh, gee, thanks, I think??????? LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, now I sound like someone who said the same thing to me 25 years ago. [sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif] [sm=sly.gif]



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 12:42:38 PM)

Trust me Lisa it is a very positive thing.........I literally get goosebumps when I read some of the things you have shared about what God is doing in your life.........Continue to see yourself through God's eyes and you will continue to see yourself as we see you.



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 12:51:50 PM)

Wow, thanks! It's been eye-opening, to say the least. And it's literally been this year that it's been happening. What is so funny, is that much of the same stuff happening to me is happening to Jim too. That's why he's hands off for right now - God is at work in us both, and I cannot get involved (though I want to - I know I can't). We both want EVERYTHING we do to give glory to God - regardless of the cost - including us being together. Whatever God wants from us is what we will give. And without talking to him, I know this is his heart - as we've had this discussion.



AlwaysR8chel -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 1:15:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shemaromans

Personally, I think this thread's giving the evil one and ourselves way too much credit...

I'll write more this evening or tomorrow (at work right now, posting illegally!)

.
.
.
.
............ how can this be when we are all talking about what God is doing in our lives?

Interesting.

I'm looking forward to your post, too....



woodwind228 -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 1:34:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AlwaysR8chel

quote:

ORIGINAL: shemaromans

Personally, I think this thread's giving the evil one and ourselves way too much credit...

I'll write more this evening or tomorrow (at work right now, posting illegally!)

.
.
.
.
............ how can this be when we are all talking about what God is doing in our lives?

Interesting.

I'm looking forward to your post, too....


I look forward to your post also. I don't understand how the evil one or ourselves are getting too much credit. This thread is simply discussing what God is doing/has done in our respective lives that has defeated and overcome the plots of the devil. Or how God has opened our eyes to the schemes of the devil. I don't recall a statement in which someone is claiming to have overcome such strongholds on our own. It's not possible. HOWEVER, as Phil 4:13 says, I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. It is only through Him that we have the power to do anything for His glory. In our own strength we can do nothing to please Him. We are but a vapor.



John_O -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 2:16:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: woodwind228
I look forward to your post also. I don't understand how the evil one or ourselves are getting too much credit. This thread is simply discussing what God is doing/has done in our respective lives that has defeated and overcome the plots of the devil. Or how God has opened our eyes to the schemes of the devil. I don't recall a statement in which someone is claiming to have overcome such strongholds on our own. It's not possible. HOWEVER, as Phil 4:13 says, I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. It is only through Him that we have the power to do anything for His glory. In our own strength we can do nothing to please Him. We are but a vapor.


If we are but a vapor then how can our words give the enemy the right to do anything? We are not our own. We are bought and paid for by the blood of Christ. Anyone who wants to do anything to us has to get Christ's permission to do that thing. We can't give it becaise we don't own ourselves.

The only power the enemy has is his words. If we listen to him rather than to God we can get sidetracked. I tend to get squeamish around all the "the devil did this, the devil did that" sort of talk because in our lives the devil can't do anything without Christ's permission. Why give the enemy any credit at all? Why not just repent of our own rebelliousness and give the Glory to God?

As I said previously, we cannot speak anything into existence that is contrary to God's word, we can only refuse to live in God's blessing. Yes we can do anything through Christ, but only those things that in accordance with His will.

Another area that needs to be approached cautiously is the thought that our words can have that much affect on our lives. Face it, we just aren't that powerful.

Now in Joy's life it may be true that her vow has held her back all this time. But that should not be generalized to mean that any word we speak will hurt us. That's one of the ways cults control their members.

M suffered from exposure to a cult type person towards the end of her life. Due to the combination of his teachings (You have to be careful what you say) and the drugs she was on (legal prescriptions) she ended up in a world of hurt. Most cult members take a while longer to get to the point she got to in a month or so. At the end she was afraid to say anything because she didn't want to sin through her words or cause someone else to suffer (She didn't want to curse anyone). You've not seen torment until you've seen someone in that state.

If God convicts you of a vow you've made (like he did Joy), then fix it. Either fulfill it or repent of it. But don't assume just because you said something that it will some to pass.



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 2:56:32 PM)

quote:

But don't assume just because you said something that it will some to pass.
I don't assume just because I say something it will come to pass. I don't think anyone else is saying that either........on the other hand I am no longer so naive to think that my vows/beliefs/and mindsets do not make a smooth path rough.

I am not giving glory to Satan nor am I focusing too much on him.........I am though giving glory to the Lord as he reveals to me more and more of who he is and how the spiritual world works.

God's plan is for things to function in our lives here on earth as they do in heaven.......not while we are in heaven but while we are on earth.

It is wise of us to become more and more aware of how the spiritual world works so that we are well equip to understand it in relationship to how the physical world works.
quote:


The only power the enemy has is his words.
Look around the world John_O. Pick up a newspaper and read the headlines......how can you not see Satan's power?

quote:

I tend to get squeamish around all the "the devil did this, the devil did that"
If you feel this thread is about blaming the devil for doing this or that then you have not read the thread with the same eyes I have.
quote:


Why give the enemy any credit at all?
I guess I don't understand this statement. Where are we giving the enemy credit? Is bringing his secrets into the light giving him credit? Is sharing with others how we open doors for him to speak into our lives giving him credit?

quote:

Why not just repent of our own rebelliousness and give the Glory to God?
I believe that is what I shared I had done and I give full credit and Glory to God.

quote:

Another area that needs to be approached cautiously is the thought that our words can have that much affect on our lives. Face it, we just aren't that powerful
As we need to be cautious not to be unaware how powerful our words can be.....they can speak life and they can speak death.......to each other and to ourselves.....

God spoke everything into being out of nothing.........except for us.....why?

quote:

M suffered from exposure to a cult type person towards the end of her life.
John I am sorry M had such an experience but it once again shows Satan does have power and we give it to him........Satan used this man, who ever he was, to speak untruths to M........Those lies would not have been able to take hold if there had not been some foothold already in her life......I know because the strongholds I have in my life are only there because of ungodly beliefs, vows and mindsets I have allowed in me.........By God unveiling those things in my life he is setting me free of Satan's power to use those things against me.



wareaglekd -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 3:06:25 PM)

Joy - Thanks. I remember several years ago I actually said to my mom, "I don't get my identity from you." I sware I could see the demon rising. She did not like that at all, but more so the sin nature w/in her didn't like it. I know that full well, I just have to not allow her control ever in any situation in my life. Now that she is getting older, she uses her old age to harass us. She's managing to lose all her friends & acts like it's our responsibility to entertain her. In reality, she is becoming a very lonely woman. All I do now is pray. I visit her now on my terms only, not hers. I even quit my cleaning job w/ her because I found out she was using that just to get me over to her house to make me visit w/ her. I prefer much more the visits that I arrange w/ her. They don't always go smoothly, but it's better.

My son just broke up w/ his fiance. She could not get along w/ my mother. I also feel for him he should wait. In the early 20s, I don't see a woman being mature enough to handle that kind of situation. When he gets older & finds a more mature woman that's growing in Christ, then he will know if she is the one based on how she relates to mom. It takes a special person to be able to do that.

I could assume defeat in singleness. I know at times I wish someone would come along & take me away from this. I know you are not supposed to run away from your problems. They will find you. At this point in my life, I find that would just be extra work, so God has to continue changing me in order to be able to mesh the two in hopes that there is a Godly man out there that can get along w/ her. For now, it's a matter of me being Christ in her life. It's not easy. When I began to understand Christ & how His family alienated Him, that really drew me closer to Him. Things are getting clearer now. kd



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 3:25:00 PM)

quote:

"I don't get my identity from you.
[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]



John_O -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 3:25:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: joy2give2u

quote:

But don't assume just because you said something that it will some to pass.
I don't assume just because I say something it will come to pass. I don't think anyone else is saying that either........on the other hand I am no longer so naive to think that my vows/beliefs/and mindsets do not make a smooth path rough.


Exactly correct.

quote:

I am not giving glory to Satan nor am I focusing too much on him.........

...
quote:


The only power the enemy has is his words.
Look around the world John_O. Pick up a newspaper and read the headlines......how can you not see Satan's power?


The enemy has no power. he started as a snake in the grass and will end as a snake in the grass. All he can do is talk, just like in the beginning.

I look around the world and I see a lot of evil that men have chosen to do. That's doesn't mean that the enemy has done it. He can talk but that is all.

quote:

quote:

I tend to get squeamish around all the "the devil did this, the devil did that"
If you feel this thread is about blaming the devil for doing this or that then you have not read the thread with the same eyes I have.


Read your last line above.

quote:

quote:

Another area that needs to be approached cautiously is the thought that our words can have that much affect on our lives. Face it, we just aren't that powerful
As we need to be cautious not to be unaware how powerful our words can be.....they can speak life and they can speak death.......to each other and to ourselves.....


Actually they cannot. We cannot speak into existance anything that is contrary to God's word. I can sit all day long in my room and say "so and so die! so and so die" and if so and so dies it's only coincidence. Words by themselves have no power. Now we do have tehpwoer to speak blessings as that is in accordance with teh word of God. BUtthen it's not our pwoer doing theblessing but God's.

quote:

quote:

M suffered from exposure to a cult type person towards the end of her life.
John I am sorry M had such an experience but it once again shows Satan does have power and we give it to him........Satan used this man, who ever he was, to speak untruths to M........Those lies would not have been able to take hold if there had not been some foothold already in her life.....


Actually this is one of the seven myths of cults. People without any strongholds at all can be sucked into these situations. Intelligent people with a heart seeking to serve God.

Dispelling the myths

Please read this article (myth 3) and browse the website there. Wellspring retreat is the foremost cult recovery center in the country.



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 3:45:27 PM)

quote:

The only power the enemy has is his words.

Look around the world John_O. Pick up a newspaper and read the headlines......how can you not see Satan's power?



The enemy has no power. he started as a snake in the grass and will end as a snake in the grass. All he can do is talk, just like in the beginning.

I look around the world and I see a lot of evil that men have chosen to do. That's doesn't mean that the enemy has done it. He can talk but that is all.

quote:

quote:

I tend to get squeamish around all the "the devil did this, the devil did that"

If you feel this thread is about blaming the devil for doing this or that then you have not read the thread with the same eyes I have.



Read your last line above.
Just as we are God's hands and feet........Satan uses people to act for him.........that is not just words it is actions....Satan has power....he is just limited to the laws set forth by God.....which is why he uses legalism to his advantage.

I don't believe in the "the devil made me do it either" But I do believe he uses every advantage he can grab a hold of to try to manipulate and control things..........fear is his greatest weapon and fear is often achieved with no words spoken.

quote:

We cannot speak into existence anything that is contrary to God's word.
I disagree again..............My words.......dawn you are no good, you are unlovable......no one is every going to love you are contrary to God's word yet they can speak into existence fear, self doubt, self hatred.......I know because I have lived in that existence in my past........

quote:

Now we do have power to speak blessings as that is in accordance with the word of God
I agree you, as a father can speak blessings into your daughters life........do you really believe you can't speak curses as well? You don't think a father, who has told his daughter her whole life that she is ugly instead of beautiful, is placing a curse on her life? That his words have the power to shape her into an ugly person? You don't think those words were contrary to the Word of God yet still brought into existence self loathing? You don't think those words have the power to kills her emotionally?

quote:

People without any strongholds at all can be sucked into these situations.
This may be one of the biggest difference in our view points........I use to think not everyone has strongholds and generational curses over then but unless everyone and their ancestries have lived perfect lives there are strongholds in each of our lives..........Everyone has footholds in their lives........and everyone is different........only God can reveal them in his timing and lead us to be free of them.
quote:


Intelligent people with a heart seeking to serve God.
Intelligence doesn't help you see what God is doing in the spiritual realm.........Eyes that see and ears that hear do..........



hotsaucygma -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 3:53:22 PM)

Leviticus 5 talks about being held responsible for even the carless oaths we make and then forget (or are unaware of), and then lists the sin offering to make for it (I believe, if I remember correctly). Obviously Jesus was our "sin offering", but I'm not sure that negates the responsibility for the oaths or vows we make.

I am not sure how/if Satan has any "legal power" to "enforce" our vows, but I do think there is plenty of Scripture that warns us of the power of words, not to make vows that we do not keep, and to be careful of our words. And Satan is called the Prince of this world for a reason, I do not think he has power to anything against God's will, but he does have power to mess with what God "lets" him mess with- and he often uses words to do so. He used words to tempt Eve, he will use words to tempt us today!

Lots to think about here...



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