RE: Why I am not married (Full Version)

All Forums >> [People] >> Singles



Message

mutinywxgirl -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 3:59:38 PM)

quote:

I agree you, as a father can speak blessings into your daughters life........do you really believe you can't speak curses as well? You don't think a father, who has told his daughter her whole life that she is ugly instead of beautiful, is placing a curse on her life? That his words have the power to shape her into an ugly person? You don't think those words were contrary to the Word of God yet still brought into existence self loathing? You don't think those words have the power to kills her emotionally?


I actually have to agree here - because all of MY life I've had negativity spoken into me from my earthly father, which has created a great problem for me in dealing with men. While he didn't intentionally do it to hurt me, those words DID wound me greatly and caused me to really hate myself most of my life. And while my parents went out of their way to take care of my physical appearance (not for this thread), my father had no regard over the things that were spoken to me. Hearing "you'll never be good enough" or "you can't do that" all of your life - even into late adulthood (today) - those words tend to have an impact. (And believe me, those are the NICE things that were said to me.) Thankfully, now, I have a weapon against them, but, in the past, especially before knowing the Lord, I did not. It's taking nearly 18 months of intense work to get beyond some of the stuff that's still buried within me.

God continues to break me - nearly weekly now - but before this year, I wouldn't allow ANY emotion to surface. I had walls greater than the Great Wall of China. NO ONE knew the inner me - and I mean NO ONE - except for God. And because of my situation with Jeb, I wanted to become whole, and began the process to do so - and trying to erase the "tapes" in my head and replace them with new ones - it's intense, to say the least.

Can God erase them all at once? Of course He can, but, I don't think He will - there are lessons to be learned with each one that is being replaced. This is where my brokenness comes from - replacing these tapes in my head.

Is it scary? You bet! But, it's the most amazing feeling I've ever experienced - this freedom from the power of the words spoken into my life as a child. It could be very easy for me to hate my father.



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 4:02:15 PM)

quote:

Lots to think about here...
Yes there is isn't there.........that is what I love about threads like this.....each post, whether in agreement or not, leads us to think more about what we believe and why..........

I usually have a bible beside my desk but today of all days I left it in my workout bag........but as I have been reading God has been placing verse after verse in my mind to look up........so when I go home tonight I will spend lots of time in the Word asking God to shine light on the things he wants me to learn from this thread........

I really pray this is a positive thread for everyone to read leading them to seek out God's word in areas they have questions or concerns..........

God is so glorious and amazing.........sometimes he will whisper something in my ear which literally takes my breath away........earlier, as I was thinking about the things God spoke to me after I repented of my vows..I couldn't help but get up from my desk and dance...........He was dancing over me in heaven as I danced here on earth.........once again things were on earth as they were in heaven..........[:D][:D][:D]



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 4:06:04 PM)

quote:

Is it scary? You bet! But, it's the most amazing feeling I've ever experienced - this freedom from the power of the words spoken into my life as a child.
Praise the Lord Lisa..........I am so excited for you.........I know I keep saying those words but I can't help myself...........God is changing mindsets and ungodly believes in you and freeing you to be who he created you to be.........[:D][:D][:D][:D]

Great.........thanks Lisa.........now I am singing..........

No wonder people here at work are starting to wonder about me LOL



hotsaucygma -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 4:09:42 PM)

The words we speak, or the words we hear, do not just leave our mouths or minds without effect. As the "sins of the father's" are visited onto the following generations, the words spoken by them "live" on too. If those are words of love and acceptence, stronger, mentally healthier children are raised. If they are words of hurt and anger, the effect is different. I'm sure most of us can come up with words from our past that still hurt us.

Satan "talked" to Jesus in the wilderness, do you really think he doesn't "talk" to us now?



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 4:11:13 PM)

quote:

Great.........thanks Lisa.........now I am singing..........

No wonder people here at work are starting to wonder about me LOL


I'm not going to say I'm sorry - because I'm not. [:D][;)]



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 4:23:14 PM)

quote:

The words we speak, or the words we hear, do not just leave our mouths or minds without effect.
Very true.........so very true......and sometimes they even take root, are watered and produce weeds in our lives.........which as any good farmer will tell you need to pulled up by the roots.....or they will grow back........

Which brings us back to the point of this thread (so not to get so off track we risk it being moved from singles.) these weeds grew from seeds often named vows, ungodly beliefs and mindsets.........they were water by our choices and have produced weeds..........

I might want to add, actually I do want to add, that you can still have a great harvest with weeds in your field. Ask my brother in law.........as long as the crop grows stronger and taller then the weeds the harvest will be good.........BUT the weeds are still there.

Now the way I figure it.......if I want to have a great harvest in my marriage wouldn't I be wise to prepare the field first by asking God to reveal and then uproot any weeds growing?

I realize I will still be weeding when I am married but the more weeds I can get rid now while God is setting things in place for my marriage the less I will have to pull once I am married. Right?



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 4:25:10 PM)

quote:

Now the way I figure it.......if I want to have a great harvest in my marriage wouldn't I be wise to prepare the field first by asking God to reveal and then uproot any weeds growing?

I realize I will still be weeding when I am married but the more weeds I can get rid now while God is setting things in place for my marriage the less I will have to pull once I am married. Right?


Get out of my head! This is nearly verbatim the conversation I had with God this weekend.



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 4:28:23 PM)

quote:


Get out of my head! This is nearly verbatim the conversation I had with God this weekend.
I beg your pardon I am not in your head...........though if the Holy Spirit spoke it to you then it makes sense he is speaking it to others........after all he only says and does what he hears and see the Father doing......and it seems to me the Father is doing some pretty awesome things in some our lives...........[:D][:D][:D]



John_O -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 4:33:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: joy2give2u
Just as we are God's hands and feet........Satan uses people to act for him.........that is not just words it is actions....Satan has power....he is just limited to the laws set forth by God.....which is why he uses legalism to his advantage.


The only power the enemy has is to talk. We can choose to not listen which renders him powerless. If someone sins and commits an evil act it is not teh enemy's fault, it is their's. Did teh enemy influence Hitler. Probably, but Hitler chose to listen. He is responsible for his own behavior.

quote:

quote:

We cannot speak into existence anything that is contrary to God's word.
I disagree again..............My words.......dawn you are no good, you are unlovable......no one is every going to love you are contrary to God's word yet they can speak into existence fear, self doubt, self hatred.......I know because I have lived in that existence in my past........


You never spoke any of those things into existence. They were mere shadows that you convinced yourself existed but they were never really there. They were never true.


quote:

quote:

Now we do have power to speak blessings as that is in accordance with the word of God
I agree you, as a father can speak blessings into your daughters life........do you really believe you can't speak curses as well? You don't think a father, who has told his daughter her whole life that she is ugly instead of beautiful, is placing a curse on her life? That his words have the power to shape her into an ugly person? You don't think those words were contrary to the Word of God yet still brought into existence self loathing? You don't think those words have the power to kills her emotionally?


I never said you couldn't speak negatively. I said you couldn't speak curses. Big difference. By our words we can negatively effect someone. But our words alone can cause no harm to them. I can sit in my closet all day long and curse so and so and so and so will never be affected by it.

quote:

quote:

People without any strongholds at all can be sucked into these situations.
This may be one of the biggest difference in our view points........I use to think not everyone has strongholds and generational curses over then but unless everyone and their ancestries have lived perfect lives there are strongholds in each of our lives..........Everyone has footholds in their lives........and everyone is different........only God can reveal them in his timing and lead us to be free of them.
quote:


Intelligent people with a heart seeking to serve God.
Intelligence doesn't help you see what God is doing in the spiritual realm.........Eyes that see and ears that hear do..........


Read the linked article.



John_O -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 4:35:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hotsaucygma
And Satan is called the Prince of this world for a reason, I do not think he has power to anything against God's will, but he does have power to mess with what God "lets" him mess with- and he often uses words to do so. He used words to tempt Eve, he will use words to tempt us today!

Lots to think about here...


Correct. he has only words.



woodwind228 -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 4:49:34 PM)

quote:

quote:

quote:

Another area that needs to be approached cautiously is the thought that our words can have that much affect on our lives. Face it, we just aren't that powerful
As we need to be cautious not to be unaware how powerful our words can be.....they can speak life and they can speak death.......to each other and to ourselves.....

Actually they cannot. We cannot speak into existance anything that is contrary to God's word. I can sit all day long in my room and say "so and so die! so and so die" and if so and so dies it's only coincidence. Words by themselves have no power. Now we do have tehpwoer to speak blessings as that is in accordance with teh word of God. BUtthen it's not our pwoer doing theblessing but God's.


Proverbs 18:21 says that the tongue has the power or life and death. In James 3 it says that the tongue cannot be tamed, that it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. Obviously, the tongue can also be used to lift others up in the Lord, praise God, and other good things. I'm not talking about speaking anything into existence, so to speak. I'm talking about how powerful our words can be to either build each other up or to tear them down.

quote:

Which brings us back to the point of this thread (so not to get so off track we risk it being moved from singles.) these weeds grew from seeds often named vows, ungodly beliefs and mindsets.........they were water by our choices and have produced weeds..........


And the roots to these weeds could represent the strongholds that are expanding their system in search of more food to grow on.



hotsaucygma -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 4:50:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: John_O

quote:

ORIGINAL: hotsaucygma
And Satan is called the Prince of this world for a reason, I do not think he has power to anything against God's will, but he does have power to mess with what God "lets" him mess with- and he often uses words to do so. He used words to tempt Eve, he will use words to tempt us today!

Lots to think about here...


Correct. he has only words.
You say "only words" as if that is a weak weapon, John. It isn't.



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 4:58:35 PM)

quote:

I can sit in my closet all day long and curse so and so and so and so will never be affected by it.
I disagree.........even if it does not affect the other person it will affect you. Sitting in the closet all day long and speaking curses on someone would have a huge affect on your spiritual life...........

My grandfather had curse after curse placed on him from voodoo priest and witch doctors.........those curses had power......not greater then the power of the blood but still power.......there were many missionaries who came very naive to the organization and power of witchcraft and voodoo........Fear had power to hold them, some who did not know Christ and others who did, captive by fear. Those who were Christian, yet held captive by fear, were held because they did not know they had the authority to put the fear behind them and walk in freedom.

We have authority as sons and daughters of the king but that authority does us no good if we are unaware we have it.....and are unwilling to use it.

We often stumble when walking with closed eyes.



woodwind228 -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 5:00:37 PM)

quote:

The only power the enemy has is to talk. We can choose to not listen which renders him powerless. If someone sins and commits an evil act it is not teh enemy's fault, it is their's. Did teh enemy influence Hitler. Probably, but Hitler chose to listen. He is responsible for his own behavior.


That's exactly right. The devil will tempt us, but God always provides a way out of the temptation. When we sin, it is by our choice. By ignoring the way out provided to us and giving in to the flesh.

quote:

I never said you couldn't speak negatively. I said you couldn't speak curses. Big difference. By our words we can negatively effect someone. But our words alone can cause no harm to them. I can sit in my closet all day long and curse so and so and so and so will never be affected by it.


I don't agree that our words alone can cause no harm to a person. They can. Those words are seeds planted in their psyche. If you and others say something negative to a person consistently, they could easily lose any self worth they may have. If that happens, then perhaps they could become suicidal. And in that way you could help to cause physical harm to them in an indirect way. But at a minimum you could cause emotional harm a person, particularly if it is repeated often enough by one or more people.

Words are most definitely a weapon of sorts. It's a two-edged sword. That tiny little tongue can cause horrendous damage. It can also cause tremendous good if used to exhort and encourage our brothers/sisters in Christ.



jlp1 -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 7:26:54 PM)

The Word of God is Jesus Christ how can words not be powerful? Ecclesiastes 5:2
Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few.

Matthew 12:36 The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. 36 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, 37 for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."

Ephesians 5:4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

2 Peter 1:8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Matthew 4:4 But he answered, "It is written, "'Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"

Joy has started a wonderful thread, lets stick to it and not make it a debated thread. Lets share what we think is a strong hold in our lives and lets pray and be supportive of one another. This thread is not about her not being married, its about the power of words negative or positive that we listen to that the enemy uses against us. This is not the time to go against the grain, this is a very important topic and should not be taken lightly because of ego. What words were told to Eve in the garden and by who!!!!!!..... there should be nothing else to discuss on that matter.



shemaromans -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 9:44:21 PM)

I want to pray and think about this a little more before elaborating on my original post. In the meantime, thank you, Joy, for starting this thread. Also, I hope that my comment didn't alarm or upset anyone as it wasn't intended rudely. Hopefully, I'll be able to convey my thoughts clearly tomorrow, and my post will make more sense then.



John_O -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 9:55:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hotsaucygma

quote:

ORIGINAL: John_O

quote:

ORIGINAL: hotsaucygma
And Satan is called the Prince of this world for a reason, I do not think he has power to anything against God's will, but he does have power to mess with what God "lets" him mess with- and he often uses words to do so. He used words to tempt Eve, he will use words to tempt us today!

Lots to think about here...


Correct. he has only words.
You say "only words" as if that is a weak weapon, John. It isn't.


It is if you can train yourself to be deaf to him. Judge every voice by how closely it aligns with the word of God. Any voice that contradicts the word of God is not God's. Ignore it.



John_O -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 10:02:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: joy2give2u

My grandfather had curse after curse placed on him from voodoo priest and witch doctors.........those curses had power......not greater then the power of the blood but still power.......there were many missionaries who came very naive to the organization and power of witchcraft and voodoo........Fear had power to hold them, some who did not know Christ and others who did, captive by fear. Those who were Christian, yet held captive by fear, were held because they did not know they had the authority to put the fear behind them and walk in freedom.


So it was not the voodoo words that had the power it was their own unbelief that caused them grief.

A friend of mine's father was a missionary. They entered one village and the witch doctor came and put a necklace around his neck and all the people recoiled in terror. They said that because he had that necklace on he was going to die. Well my friends dad took the necklace and handed it back to the witch doctor and went on to preach the gospel. For a large number of years. His faith in God was stronger than his fear of imaginary magic.

quote:

We have authority as sons and daughters of the king but that authority does us no good if we are unaware we have it.....and are unwilling to use it.


This is exactly correct. We have all authority over the enemy and all his works. He has no authority over us. He is powerless.

quote:

We often stumble when walking with closed eyes.

This is true.



John_O -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 10:05:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: woodwind228
That's exactly right. The devil will tempt us, but God always provides a way out of the temptation. When we sin, it is by our choice. By ignoring the way out provided to us and giving in to the flesh.


Agreed

quote:

I never said you couldn't speak negatively. I said you couldn't speak curses. Big difference. By our words we can negatively effect someone. But our words alone can cause no harm to them. I can sit in my closet all day long and curse so and so and so and so will never be affected by it.


I don't agree that our words alone can cause no harm to a person. They can. Those words are seeds planted in their psyche. If you and others say something negative to a person consistently, they could easily lose any self worth they may have. If that happens, then perhaps they could become suicidal. And in that way you could help to cause physical harm to them in an indirect way. But at a minimum you could cause emotional harm a person, particularly if it is repeated often enough by one or more people.

Words are most definitely a weapon of sorts. It's a two-edged sword. That tiny little tongue can cause horrendous damage. It can also cause tremendous good if used to exhort and encourage our brothers/sisters in Christ.


I never said words couldn't hurt. I said we couldn't curse people. It's no big deal to convince someone of something. It's not a great spiritual feat or work of the enemy. It's just persuasion and repetition. It's not cursing. Man has developed incredibly effective forms of mind control and brain washing. Man is evil enough without having to rely on the enemy for anything.



Prairiehiker -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 10:08:59 PM)

I heard this from a podcast today. The guy said that God's power to lead us is more powerful than the devil's power to deceive us. They were discussing about how God communicates with us and if we know God, we will not be easily deceived. It probably has very little to do with the original topic being discussed, but I thought I'd just throw it in there.



John_O -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 10:16:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jlp1

The Word of God is Jesus Christ how can words not be powerful?

[scriptures]


Excellent direction here. But not really addressing the topic. Yes we need to be aware of our words, but we cannot let that awareness cripple our ability to communicate. We are not going to kill someone, or curse someone with just our words. Yes we should be careful, but when something needs to be said we need to say it.

Many times the end result of the "I spoke this on myself" train of though is mental and spiritual anguish lest we speak an unguarded word and curse someone. But we are not that powerful. And we cannot speak something into existence that is contrary to God's word.

quote:

What words were told to Eve in the garden and by who!!!!!!..... there should be nothing else to discuss on that matter.

There's tons to discuss on that matter, but hopelessly off topic it would be[:D]



coinpurse -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 10:44:28 PM)

Awesome testimony...

Ive said a few "I will never" in my life...Will never find total acceptance, conditional love aside from Gods...Ive said that "I will never" be as happy married as I am single...

Now God is the source of my joy, so I can be married and be just as happy or happier :) ...I know that I wont be less happy as a married. I know how to be content/I know the source.

Ive never asked God why Im still single...but in bible study one day, I was wondering why this other girl is married (is it because she is so beautiful)...and I got the answer that I would have NEVER been interested in the man that she is married to...he was once homeless, he played w/drugs...(I would be stuck on the past)

this former homeless and very handsome young man just blew us all away in group. He was just amazing and the power of God is strong in his life...and God also revealed a friend of mine who was interested in me who doesnt drink now, but is still in AA, he is now divorced, but he and his wife saw other people for the last 18 years when they were legally married...they werent together, just tied to each other legally. and I vowed that I would never date someone who ever lived like that...God pointed out another qualified person that I would never give a chance because of the past. as if I dont have one.

God was not saying that I should date my friend whos in AA (I dont think so)...

I do believe that Gods power is stronger than anything, but I know I still have to make choices daily and what I think will affect the choices I make...thought patterns have consequences!

Amen to that. Thanks for sharing!



John_O -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 10:56:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: coinpurse
I do believe that Gods power is stronger than anything, but I know I still have to make choices daily and what I think will affect the choices I make...thought patterns have consequences!



Exactly!



Prairiehiker -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 11:19:08 PM)

quote:

do believe that Gods power is stronger than anything, but I know I still have to make choices daily and what I think will affect the choices I make...thought patterns have consequences!


This is truth. How we live our daily lives and engage others is determined by our thought patterns. I think a lot of us are singles due to the strong holds that are making up our negative thought life. I'm not making an argument whether God will bring us a partner or not, but what I'm saying is that how we respond to every events that happens in our lives are determined by a belief system that's been ingrained in us.

Joy's example of swearing not to marry is likely not what's preventing her from getting married. The underlying reason for the vow is a deep fear of getting hurt, or hurting someone. Until that fear is brought to God's light, and you walk hand in hand with God in conquering your fear, you'll probably keep repeating the same response every time you meet a man. I know this as I've done this repeatedly to the point that I don't get too close to a man for fear of driving him insane. This is the issue that God is asking me to confront. And conquering a deep seated negative belief about oneself is so difficult as it requires to go against one's programming. But God will walk us through it. He won't conquer it for us, because it's something we need to overcome, but I fully believe that this is the time that He takes our hands and guide us until we learn to respond differently. This is how we learn to live with a new set of beliefs about ourselves.

I'm getting there.



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (5/29/2008 11:26:13 PM)

quote:

Joy has started a wonderful thread, lets stick to it and not make it a debated thread. Lets share what we think is a strong hold in our lives and lets pray and be supportive of one another. This thread is not about her not being married, its about the power of words negative or positive that we listen to that the enemy uses against us. This is not the time to go against the grain, this is a very important topic and should not be taken lightly because of ego. What words were told to Eve in the garden and by who!!!!!!..... there should be nothing else to discuss on that matter.
Thank you jlp1 Your post touched me deeply and reminded me why I started this thread in the first place.

I would like to share another strong hold in my life which God revealed to me a while back. My father loved us with a sacrificial love. Everything he did was for his daughters........Often he would make promises, with every intention of keeping them, but due to circumstances he would no be able to do so.

Growing up I knew my father loved me and would do anything for me but I also knew he did not have the power to do everything he wanted to do for me........I knew he did not have the power to give me the desires of my heart.

As an adult it was easy for me to understand the love of God the Father........When he would give me a promise I would feel so loved and special but at the same time I never really believed he had the power to do what he promised.......

With my father it was usually money which kept him for being able to fulfill promises or give me the desires of my heart but I knew money was not an issue with God.......So Satan took my ungodly belief and convinced me that my actions, my choices, prevented God from being able to bless me as he wanted.

My ungodly belief had opened the door for Satan speak lies into my life which said I had to walk in complete obedience before God could bless me and each times I messed up and didn't do as God told me Satan was more then happy to remind me my blessings were dependent on my obedience.

Since God revealed this ungodly belief and I repented.....asking forgiveness for doubting he could bless me even in my disobedience.........God has time and again giving me the desires of my heart.......often without me even realizing it was a desire until he gave it to me.

Now when God speaks a promise to me I feel such an over whelming love, as I did with my father, but now I also believe the promise will be fulfilled......despite my imperfect life......[:D]

quote:

I want to pray and think about this a little more before elaborating on my original post
That is great Shemaromans. My prayer when I started this thread was people would take the time to pray and talk to God before reading and posting in it.......I pray God continues to talk to each one of us, based on our own circumstanced, through this thread.

quote:

Also, I hope that my comment didn't alarm or upset anyone as it wasn't intended rudely.
I was not alarmed or upset........What God is doing through this thread is not based on any one individual but the combination of us all........If we are all focused on God and sharing what he is speaking to us individually plus make a commitment to listen to each other prayerfully I don't see anything to be alarmed about........[:D][:D]

quote:

The guy said that God's power to lead us is more powerful than the devil's power to deceive us
I agree........God's power to lead us sets us free.....I know he is leading me by unveiling vows I have made, ungodly beliefs and mindsets which are not from him. He shined His light on the vow I made and brightly illuminated how Satan had been holding me to that vow all these years.....
quote:

Many times the end result of the "I spoke this on myself" train of though is mental and spiritual anguish lest we speak an unguarded word and curse someone.
John you are speaking through your experience with M. I understand that now but please don't let your own experiences become a stumbling block preventing you from seeing the freedom which comes when we allow God to show us how our own words have given Satan an open door to speak lies into our lives.

I trust you will spend time talking to God and praying about what is discussed here. I also trust God to show you what we are discussing here is far different then what you experienced with M.

Thank you everyone for all your responses..........Each time I open this thread I can feel God's presence.........I am excited with all he is speaking into me life through what others are sharing.......Thank you.



Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>



Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.5 ANSI