RE: Why I am not married (Full Version)

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joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (6/4/2008 4:15:55 PM)

I was thinking about this thread while working and had some questions come up I would like to through out.

quote:

When we begin to talk about how the evil one influences us, we open the door to give him a foothold. He's powerless unless we give him an audience!
If satan indeed has no power why would talking about him give him power? It is stated he is powerless unless we give him an audience yet it seems the bible reveals him more as a behind the scene type of guy.....doing things under the cover of darkness...in secret......in disguise.....it is only when the things he is doing are brought into the light that he seems to be powerless.

quote:

namely giving the devil a foothold in your life. Reject this notion and be done with it. It's nothing but self-imposed bondage
So are you saying we can be put in bondage when we give a foothold to satan but not when we open a door for him?

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He must fulfill the vow he has made,
Isn't this a law which God established? Doesn't the Bible talk of how important a vow is......that it is a binding contract? If I vow to the Lord to give money missions doesn't God expect me to fulfill that vow? God established sacrifices required for not fulfilling vows....he takes them very seriously.........I find it interesting a single woman making a vow was obligated to fulfill such vow unless her Father spoke in disagreement then the Lord would release her from the vow. My heavenly father spoke on sat night and he released me from my vow.

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A vow does not hold the power
Why doesn't it? When you say your wedding vows will they not have power? If they do not then why say them? Do vows not have power because we see them as powerless? Is it possible that vow are very important to God? Why do you think we speak marriage vows? Is it possible we do so because when those vows are spoken something in heaven happens.......two become one.......doesn't that give the vow power......Isn't it true that the only one who can release someone from a marriage vow, even if it is due to unfaithfulness, is God?

Karen I agree with what you wrote about the desert but would like to add one comment to think about..........Did God make a vow with the people, which was broken, by their lack of faith and disobedience? Did God them vow that not one of them would enter the promise land only their children would?

Do you believe it was their continued unbelief which kept them wandering in the desert or was it God closing the door to the promise land which kept them wandering? How did their children grow up believing that they would walk the promise land if the parents did not teach them?.....If they taught their children to believe isn't it reasonable to think they at some point believed again in the promise yet were unable to see it fulfilled in their lives because the door was closed to them?
quote:


God takes our belief system very seriously.
God also takes our vows very seriously because as you said they represent our belief system at the time they are spoken......Just because our belief system changes does that mean the vow no longer has binding power?

If Jill married her high school sweetheart and they both believed God did not exist. Later on in life Jill's belief system changes and she believes in God does she now have the right to walk away from the vow?.......does God no longer care about the vow she made because he is more concerned with what she believes? I think God cares deeply about what we believe........I think the ungodly beliefs and mindset was still hang unto, often because we are unaware they are such, break God's heart but I also think to him a vow is binding unless it is repented and he releases you from the vow.

To direct this back to a single topic I am curious.......why is it that people seem to think a marriage vow will be binding in the eyes of God yet other vows have no meaning? To me a vow is a vow......

When I say I do to my husband and I make a vow to him I take it very seriously. Those words are not just spoken to my husband but to my Lord as well.......and I know he takes them very seriously. My vow will influence my actions/behavior/thoughts and life.......it is that powerful.........

A vow has the power to legal bind you, in the spiritual, to some or something... and unless the Father release you from the vow it will influence your life.

quote:

have found yourself in bondage
We all have things holding us in bondage........the question I am asking of you and myself is am I willing to ask God to reveal them to me so that they may be brought to light and the chains broken so that I may walk more and more in freedom as God continues to transform me.......I am..........I have seen the glory of God reflected off my face and I refuse to allow clouds to block it from the world.

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just don't give too much power in an actual vow
As I would encourage people not to take them lightly........


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Any questions you need to ask of me,, I will gladly answer.. really..
Hi Rosamaria. Thank you for posting. I think the bigger question is what questions do you need to ask us. The singles thread are a great place to get a wide spectrum of views. God speaks to each of us based on our own circumstances, history and experiences. He also speaks to us each differently based on where we are in our walk with him........

Start a thread asking your questions and people will respond. Trust God to speak to you and listen to that still quiet voice in your gut when you read how people respond and trust he will speak to you and he will.



Psalms274 -> RE: Why I am not married (6/4/2008 4:48:13 PM)

quote:

Karen I agree with what you wrote about the desert but would like to add one comment to think about..........Did God make a vow with the people, which was broken, by their lack of faith and disobedience? Did God them vow that not one of them would enter the promise land only their children would?

Do you believe it was their continued unbelief which kept them wandering in the desert or was it God closing the door to the promise land which kept them wandering? How did their children grow up believing that they would walk the promise land if the parents did not teach them?.....If they taught their children to believe isn't it reasonable to think they at some point believed again in the promise yet were unable to see it fulfilled in their lives because the door was closed to them?


The answer lies in Hebrews 3 where God tells us "it was because of unbelief" ... so yes, I believe it was their unbelief, because God said so. [;)]

quote:

A vow does not hold the power

Why doesn't it? When you say your wedding vows will they not have power? If they do not then why say them? Do vows not have power because we see them as powerless? Is it possible that vow are very important to God? Why do you think we speak marriage vows? Is it possible we do so because when those vows are spoken something in heaven happens.......two become one.......doesn't that give the vow power......Isn't it true that the only one who can release someone from a marriage vow, even if it is due to unfaithfulness, is God?


The power in the vow is the belief ... and commitment to that belief that goes with the vow spoken.

If your spouse in unfaithful, you are released from it according to Jesus ... the marriage is a covenant ... very different from a vow. You may take a vow as you enter that covenant, but a vow and a covenant are not the same thing.

Just because our belief system changes does that mean the vow no longer has binding power?

If you have a heart change and are living in the presence of believing God in regard to a vow you made in unbelief, the vow falls away with the unbelief. Now you may want to recant it out-loud as a testimony of that change, but satan has no power to hold you to something you said ... he can only use his deceitful ways to lure you into thinking the actual words were the source of the power that resulted in any type of bondage. And if you believe him when he tells you this, the unbelief pops back into play and boom ... back in bondage. A vow represents a commitment one makes based on their beliefs ... your example of "I will never get married" is a statement of what you believed about yourself. It is possible that you allowed that belief to dictate how you behaved and decisions you made in your life whether consciously or subconsciously ...

And that's all I have to say about this matter [:D]... I have never enjoyed debating anything.

Many blessings!!!



Elena1030 -> RE: Why I am not married (6/4/2008 5:19:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Psalms274

That was a wonderful post, Elena. I think (hopefully) there is simply a problem of semantics in the 2nd post.



Thank you. =) I think.... if you are referring to the post here.

My second post? Or someone else's post?

I ask because after you complimented me, you quote something I didn't post but that was posted by someone else ---> thus I'm a wee bit confused! [&:]

Would you help me untangle my confusion?

Thanks! [:)]



Psalms274 -> RE: Why I am not married (6/4/2008 5:58:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elena1030

quote:

ORIGINAL: Psalms274

That was a wonderful post, Elena. I think (hopefully) there is simply a problem of semantics in the 2nd post.



Thank you. =) I think.... if you are referring to the post here.

My second post? Or someone else's post?

I ask because after you complimented me, you quote something I didn't post but that was posted by someone else ---> thus I'm a wee bit confused! [&:]

Would you help me untangle my confusion?

Thanks! [:)]


Oops there I go not being clear [&:]... I meant your post when saying "wonderful post" and then quoted from the second post of the thread because that was where the question for the thread was asked! [:)]



coinpurse -> RE: Why I am not married (6/4/2008 9:31:45 PM)

Yes, he has revealed some things this week.

Anyone Im interested in, I tell them Im gonna' move...Let them know that Im not staying in this city, Im leaving as soon as blank blank blank. and Im always talking about relocating to a rural area (I believed I was telling the truth, but why talk about things that arent for sure????) and I realized this week after reading an awesome article that the search for simplicity can create bondage...The simplicity is not going to be found by living in a certain area...and I need to stop telling men that Im moving. Ive been sayng that for 4 years now and have not moved, Im actually in the same apartment, even.

another thing that I do is tell people that im not interested in such and such career (I do this when Im actually working in that career)...and I realize just today that no one will ever want to help me progress cause im always "leaving" that particular career path, especially to people that can help me. I do a lot of self sabotage. and am double minded in many things when I think Im being very honest. Very odd that I just realized this today.

quote:

Has God revealed anything else to any one dealing with relationships with men/women? Has he shown you something you do? Making you aware so that you do not continue to do it in relationships?



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (6/4/2008 9:39:05 PM)

quote:

Very odd that I just realized this today.
I don't find it odd at all......God always goes before us and prepares the path we will be walking........God knew you would read this thread so he prepared your heart to hear from Him........that is very coooooool

Now that God has revealed these things to you, shined a light on them, they no longer have power to dictate your actions.....You now chose to take captive the thought and refuse to say or even think these things with men.......

I will be praying for you tonight....coinpurse......

I love your name by the way.........Haggai has a verse about coinpurses......really spoke to me.

Oh and welcome to the singles forum. I am glad you are here. [:D][:D]



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (6/5/2008 10:27:08 AM)

quote:

The answer lies in Hebrews 3 where God tells us "it was because of unbelief" ... so yes, I believe it was their unbelief, because God said so.
I agree their unbelief and fear kept them from the promise land..........

Deuteronomy tells us Moses pleaded with them not to be terrified.....do not be afraid.......he reminded them of all that God had already done for them yet .....(Duet1:32)" In spite of this, you did not trust in the Lord your God, 33 who went ahead of you on your journey, in fire by night in a cloud by day, to search out places for you to camp and to show you the way you should go."

Yet fear still dictated their response.........where did the fear come from? Why did they believe they and their children would surely be killed?

41..Then you replied," We have sinned against the Lord. We will go up and fight, as the Lord our God commanded us."..........and they did.........and God told them I will not be with you.........They were defeated and came back weeping........God turned a deaf ear to them...........UNTIL they began wondering in the desert..............Then it says "The Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast desert."...........Look at what happened in the desert.........they were obedient. They trusted God... They had faith in Him ........and he watched over them.

Wow what a powerful truth.

How does that apply to our singles lives and relationships?

Have you ever had a promise land? A man you were sure God was promising you would marry.........but in fear and lack of trust in God you did not fight for him? God told you that you would marry Him and you wanted to trust God, you wanted to have faith, but the lies you believed about yourself made you afraid?

Have you ever gone back after running away, realizing that if you trusted God you would have stepped with faith into the relationship even though it seemed impossible he would ever fall in love with you?........Have you ever known the battle was lost because this time God was not in it?

I have.........I have had faith God told me I was going to marry someone, I have walked in faith towards the relationship, but when it got to the point where I needed to face the giants I didn't believe God could overcome my shortcomings........I believed the relationship would be full of blessings, grapes galore, but I did not believe God could use me to defeat those things which were standing in the way of the relationship.

So up went my wall and I hide my true feelings. I was defeated before I even went to battle.

Later I realized my fear was dictating my emotions instead of God's truth and I tried to fight for the relationship but God was not with me in the fight........he was with me but not in the fight.

Has anyone else ever experienced this?

Now before everyone goes and gets sad the story doesn't end there.........You see the story in the Bible continues........God guides, they follow and he leads them to a new promise land.......one far greater then the one he had first promised...........

What you may ask? They didn't get to go to a new promise land........their children went to the old promise land but they died..........

As God has asked me in the past.....when he was showing me something about Moses.......where did they go? When they died where did they go?

To heaven........to streets of gold..........to walking hand and hand with God.......to a place where God's presence is 24/7..........to a place where worshiping is not something you do to draw you closer to God but because you can't help yourself surrounded by His glory.

My fears and lack of trust in God's ability to have some one see me through his eyes and fall in love with me, despite the giants ,may have kept me from marrying a man God had shown me as a promise land BUT I know he is with me in the desert, I know he is teaching me and showing me new things, he is revealing things to me.........and I know that the man I marry will be far more then I can now imagine because he will have such an intimacy with the Lord.......and he will see the kingdom of Heaven while on earth..........

Thank you Lord that you promise those who hope in you will not be disappointed.....and thank you Lord that you never stop moving in our lives, even when we act in disobedience and show lack of trust in you, you still guide us, bless us and prepare us for even greater glory.

Thank you Lord ……..Thank you when we do not walk into the promise land where you were leading us we can have faith because the next promise land is far greater and more full of your glory then the previous one.



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (6/5/2008 10:48:48 AM)

quote:

f you have a heart change and are living in the presence of believing God in regard to a vow you made in unbelief, the vow falls away with the unbelief. Now you may want to recant it out-loud as a testimony of that change, but satan has no power to hold you to something you said ... he can only use his deceitful ways to lure you into thinking the actual words were the source of the power that resulted in any type of bondage
I will have to disagree here. I believe a vow stands on it's own and is considered binding by God no matter what our beliefs.

For example if Jim and Sue marry with the attitude marriage is for as long as you are happy together and divorce is always an option.....

John and Jen marry, with a deep belief in God, believing marriage is for life.....

They say the same vows.......to love each other to death do they part, to be with each other in sickness and health.........

Each couples vows, though spoken based on a different belief system, are still as powerful and as binding in God's eyes.


quote:

And that's all I have to say about this matter ... I have never enjoyed debating anything.
I am sorry you will no longer be posting in this thread. I don't see discussions about God as debates...more as a way to continue to grow.......Each time something is read which causes you to pause and ask hmmmmm what do I think about that leading you to you seek God. To ask Him why he gave you pause in that area........you grow.......because God loves questions.....it is through asking questions and seeking God's voice that we grow.



AlwaysR8chel -> RE: Why I am not married (6/5/2008 11:55:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: coinpurse

Ive been sayng that for 4 years now and have not moved, Im actually in the same apartment, even.

another thing that I do is tell people that im not interested in such and such career (I do this when Im actually working in that career)

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.......... coinpurse....

I'm sorry.... but these two things kinda cracked me up.... I'm actually laughing... (I really needed a laugh today!)

Why am I laughing.... well, besides how comical this sounds... and please don't take it the wrong way! [;)]

.... but I can sooooo relate to you!!!!

I'm soooo glad you posted....

I'm thankful for you!

[:D]



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (6/5/2008 12:25:27 PM)

Hi Rach..........I thought of you when I read her post as well.......



TomTurn -> RE: Why I am not married (6/5/2008 1:38:49 PM)

quote:

Why I am not married


Easy to answer

None of the women I wanted to marry wanted to marry me.

Next question



AlwaysR8chel -> RE: Why I am not married (6/5/2008 2:20:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: joy2give2u

Hi Rach..........I thought of you when I read her post as well.......

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............ lol! [:D]



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (6/5/2008 3:19:52 PM)

quote:

None of the women I wanted to marry wanted to marry me.
Maybe you wanted to marry the wrong women? Did you have a list?



AlwaysR8chel -> RE: Why I am not married (6/5/2008 3:24:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: joy2give2u

quote:

None of the women I wanted to marry wanted to marry me.
Maybe you wanted to marry the wrong women? Did you have a list?

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........ rotflmbo!!! [sm=Llol.gif]


pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaassssssseeeeeeeeeeeee........... don't go there! [8D]




[:D]



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (6/5/2008 3:26:31 PM)

I know shame on me........sometimes my fingers have a mind of my own.......

Tomturn I did not mean to devalue your comment. I realize it is hard and hope this thread will give you some food for thought. I also hope you will spend some time with the Lord asking him to reveal anything to you which might be hindering you from finding the woman who will say yes.



ebony101 -> RE: Why I am not married (6/7/2008 10:38:03 PM)

Wow! The stuff that was said on vows really makes a lot of sense and is food for thought.

But I was wondering: is that vows stuff applicable to things that we write as well.



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: Why I am not married (6/9/2008 11:06:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ebony101
But I was wondering: is that vows stuff applicable to things that we write as well.


sure i think so ebony101! see i think the problem comes from the fact we are saying/writing something unGodly and that stems from our thoughts in this area of our life and thus our heart needs to be dealt with. and once it does, it removes this bondage from our life.



Psalms274 -> RE: Why I am not married (6/9/2008 3:59:52 PM)

I have a very strong urge to say ... [:)]please[:)] be very careful with this. (I am say this with the utmost respect for those who are talking about a vow as a way of "giving satan a foothold" in one's life ... and concern for the result in this kind of thinking.) The word vow in the bible, when translated from the Hebrew refers to a religious vow in dedication to the LORD.

quote:

From the Holman's dictionary:

VOWS Voluntary expressions of devotion usually fulfilled after some condition had been met. Vows in the Old Testament usually were conditional. A common formula for vows was the “if… then…” phrase (Gen. 28:20; Num. 21:2; Judg. 11:30). The one making the religious vow proposed that if God did something (such as give protection or victory), then he or she in return would make some act of devotion. Not all vows, however, were conditional. Some, such as the Nazirite vow (Num. 6), were made out of devotion to God with no request placed upon God. Whether conditional or not, the emphasis in the Bible is on keeping the vow. A vow unfulfilled is worse than a vow never made. While vows do not appear often in the New Testament, Paul made one that involved shaving his head (Acts 18:18).


It does not have the same meaning that is being given to it in this thread. Sometimes things can sound good, but they simply do not line up with scripture. I would let this go as something trivial, except there is a chance this can result in a bondage to a way of thinking that is not consistent with God's character ...

I see a simple formula being given for something that stems from a sin of unbelief (which we all go through from time to time in our walk with God ... not an unbelief IN Him, but not believing Him) ... and the only way to overcome this is by spending time with God and getting to know His character ... getting to really know HIM. He may point out to you that you had said something earlier in your walk that reflects a heart of not believing Him for the best, and may ask for you (individually) to repent of that way of thinking ... but to state that we all must repent for vows we have made is not a true statement. We need to line up all that we hear in our heart of hearts with scripture ... and then dig very deep with our LORD about a matter before drawing a conclusion about what we think we heard. Many times we do indeed hear something from God, but interpret it incorrectly, and do not see that we have done so until a year or two later ...

If you have a question about what one needs to do in terms of your relationship th Christ, talk to Him about it ... and when you feel the need to get clarification from someone, make it someone you know and have observed up close ... then line up what they have to say with the word of God ... but try to refrain from asking for this type of direction on a public forum ... even a Christian forum.

I just pray this is received in the way I intend it to be received. I do not wish to argue with anyone ... I just wish to have a very strong warning on this thread because of the many that are hurting and hoping for an easy answer.



Psalms274 -> RE: Why I am not married (6/9/2008 4:06:40 PM)

I am reminded of the scripture that says "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." She clearly heard form God, but wisely waited before sharing ... waiting until her belly began to grow. Often we hear something in our excitement, and longing to help others with something that we may share with them (and I am grateful for the heart that longs to help another in this manner) share either the wrong thing or something that should have been kept in our own heart, because it only applies to our unique circumstances ... I suspect we would not have so many different denominations if we would only learn to do what Mary did when she heard from God ... [;)]



hotsaucygma -> RE: Why I am not married (6/9/2008 5:04:17 PM)

I agree that it is usually dangerous to say that we all must do anything in only one way- but I don't think that is what is being advocated.
quote:

We need to line up all that we hear in our heart of hearts with scripture ... and then dig very deep with our LORD about a matter before drawing a conclusion about what we think we heard.

Very true! I think that is the main point. Listen to what the Lord is saying to you. If He brings your own words back to you as needing to repent from them, be open to listening- to hearing Him. Be careful with your words, because they are important! They can build up, or tear down. They can heal or cut deeply. When we make a vow or promise, it isn't to be taken lightly- no matter what the "vow" is! If God is speaking to us today, we need to be still and listen...



joy2give2u -> RE: Why I am not married (6/10/2008 3:49:41 PM)

quote:

be open to listening- to hearing Him.
great post hsgma. Very true.........I especially loved the quoted part.........open to listening....to receiving from Him.........

When I don't hear God speaking it isn't because he lost His voice........but because I lost my ears.[:D][:D][:D][:D]

This weekend I took my nieces to see Prince Caspian..........we loved it.

One of the things I loved was how the other's, more mature and experienced,could not see Aslan.....because they did not believe he was there.....yet the youngest........the one with childlike faith.....she saw Him..........

I also find it interesting that the one, who from the looks of his brother and sisters, seemed to get in fights quite a bit in england could not see Aslan. Very interesting indeed.

*******************************************************************

God is the same today as he was yesterday....He speaks.

Our eyes are only opened to see him..

Our ears to hear him ...

when we believe we can see and hear him...........

When we are open to receive what ever He has to say or show us.......when we believewe can hear and see Him....we do.

Lord I pray my heart will always be eager as a child's, full of faith, anticipation and excitement, as I open myself to receive the things you wish to say to and show me.

My prayer for those reading this thread is simple.........

Lord help us stand on the promise in Isaiah 48:6............From now on I will tell you of new things, of hidden things unknown to you. (funny didn't Aslan say something similar?)

Thank you Lord that your Word tells us, both in spirit and truth, that is it your heart to give to us.....please make it our heart to receive.



Cloak -> RE: Why I am not married (6/11/2008 8:22:00 AM)

I believe it all has to do with......God's Timing. Period!



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