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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 10/16/2008 8:29:00 AM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2103
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kj88il
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ORIGINAL: ShallbeRebuilt
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ORIGINAL: kj88il
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ORIGINAL: FunBetty
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ORIGINAL: utilityfielder
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ORIGINAL: FunBetty
What if you gave them a card for them to color during the ceremony when they get all squirmish? That way they can give a gift to the couple and yet have something to keep them occupied...
I like this idea. The only possible drawback would be a herd of children with crayons drawing on the walls and pews of the church.
umm....good parenting should prevent this?
okay, backup plan- get those markers that only work on special paper. 
i personally do not believe in having young children attending the wedding ceremony. provide a sitter and let them join at the reception.
1) I'd have to have some biblical back-up for not allowing the children to witness the establishment of a godly family which is a foundational building block of a godly church family which is a foundational building block of a godly nation; especially in the company of their own parents who hopefully understand the significance of the event. Yes, they are small, but early memories are powerful.
2) The budget may not allow for hiring a sitter. We shall see.
3) actually, I am encouraging the couple to keep the ceremony as short as is practicable. It is possible that no distraction will be needed.
more later...gotta run!
shallbe
esther......i have to disagree on this one. i'd be interested in what you find...especially if it says young children SHOULD/MUST be witness. but me...i have been at far too many weddings that were interrupted by children of parents who DO NOT control their children...even at the expense of someone else's most special day!
i would also beg to differ...i would feel safe in saying i believe the children won't remember the SIGNIFICANCE of the ceremony...just the pretty dresses, the candles, etc.
as to budget...our church provides sitters in the nursery to prevent exactly the kind of disruption i alluded to.
all i can say...is good luck! seriously......no sarcasm intended. young children are just too unpredictable and face it...more concerned with their own needs/wants than the sentiment and sacrament of a wedding. if you're going for casual, fun, carefree then i guess it 'fits' to have young children around. but if you're going for formal and elegant....kids just don't fit in the mix.
Awww, Kimberly, you don't have to beg. You can differ with me any time, ok?
It is a well-known fact that I have a different slant on parenting and the raising of children than most--having had 4 myself and been in children's ministry a lot, I am quite aware of the vagaries of children's behaviors. So I'm not offended. I'm also not worried. We are looking into the possibility of a nursery...after all, good parents will take their children out if they cause a disturbance, and they need a place to go if that is necessary.
Here's an invite to everyone to visit the link in my sig and comment on this issue.
shallbe
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 10/16/2008 8:51:07 AM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 7667
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: online
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When I got married Thing 1 was 4. He did he 'potty' dance right after it started. And he just went before hand too. 
quote:
And now...
This thread is officially open for wedding advice.
The budget: $5000
The date: 2/21/2009
Colors: Blue, white, silver
Wedding Party: 1 bridesmaid groomsman. No flower children, no ringbearers, yadda.
Resources: Music (string quartet) probably provided free or discounted. Photography and videography probably provided free or discounted. Some greenery and white Christmas lights available.
Venue: no clue. NOT at our church...too small, dirty, unmaintained.
Cannot count on any help or participation by grooms parents
Also soliciting: Advice to mother of the bride. Answers to question such as:
How do I cope with my best friend and sibling chauffeur moving 1300 miles away?
What should I do when tempted to fly to groom's parent's town, show up on their doorstep, enter their home (forcibly if necessary), slap them silly until they realize what wonderful persons their son and my daughter are?
Where are my keys?
How do you prevent bridezilla syndrome? (not that I'm really expecting GP1 to be a bridezilla, but one should be prepared in case, don't you agree?)
Your budget is bigger than mine was, but this wedding is 9 years later too.
Let me think. I and my family did as much on our own as possible. I used silk flowers, my cousin did all of my flower arrangements, I had a simple cake and punch reception, the best man's sister in law took pics for free, and a buddy of mine did the video.
Hit the stores the day after Christmas for sales on candles, more lights and greenery. That's the only time I shop for decorations.
Venue...hmm...how about a nice park, someone's luscious back yard, or a local college chapel?
Let's see...as for the groom's parents....pray, pray, pray, pray, PRAY. Pray not only for them, but for you to have peace about their lack of peace. You are who you are Esther and you cannot change them. Only God can. YOU continue to be the best mommy you can for BOTH of the kids and they WILL appreciate you and the direction God is leading you in. If they never come around merely mourn the loss of what they have missed but don't you DARE take it upon yourself. If they do come around eventually (even after the grandkids get married) smile your best smile and act as if the past 20 or so years didn't bother you.
I honestly don't know how to respond to the question about your best friend leaving you. My mother and I do not have that kind of relationship. I can't remember a time when we had a close relationship because of all of the emotional issues I had growing up. We still don't. I also don't have a daughter to understand your plight at all...LOL Sooo...I'll just lift the two of you up in prayer and just pray that God lay His hand of peace upon you, and bless you both with many, many, cell phone minutes. 
As for your keys...retrace your steps even if you have to step back in the tub for a second. I've had to do that and have found my keys in the fridge.
Bridezilla...LOL...just help her keep it in perspective. Don't let her fret the small details. If she starts to, remove her from the situation for a moment and pray with her, hold her, slap her silly...whatever it takes. She seems like she's pretty level headed though so I wouldn't be too concerned about it.
Oh!!! I almost forgot!!!
I love you, Esther!!!!  
< Message edited by Tinkerbell_ -- 10/16/2008 9:20:10 AM >
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 10/16/2008 12:25:07 PM
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kj88il
Posts: 2041
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: IL (NW Central)
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ShallbeRebuilt
quote:
ORIGINAL: kj88il
quote:
ORIGINAL: ShallbeRebuilt
quote:
ORIGINAL: kj88il
quote:
ORIGINAL: FunBetty
quote:
ORIGINAL: utilityfielder
quote:
ORIGINAL: FunBetty
What if you gave them a card for them to color during the ceremony when they get all squirmish? That way they can give a gift to the couple and yet have something to keep them occupied...
I like this idea. The only possible drawback would be a herd of children with crayons drawing on the walls and pews of the church.
umm....good parenting should prevent this?
okay, backup plan- get those markers that only work on special paper.
i personally do not believe in having young children attending the wedding ceremony. provide a sitter and let them join at the reception.
1) I'd have to have some biblical back-up for not allowing the children to witness the establishment of a godly family which is a foundational building block of a godly church family which is a foundational building block of a godly nation; especially in the company of their own parents who hopefully understand the significance of the event. Yes, they are small, but early memories are powerful.
2) The budget may not allow for hiring a sitter. We shall see.
3) actually, I am encouraging the couple to keep the ceremony as short as is practicable. It is possible that no distraction will be needed.
more later...gotta run!
shallbe
esther......i have to disagree on this one. i'd be interested in what you find...especially if it says young children SHOULD/MUST be witness. but me...i have been at far too many weddings that were interrupted by children of parents who DO NOT control their children...even at the expense of someone else's most special day!
i would also beg to differ...i would feel safe in saying i believe the children won't remember the SIGNIFICANCE of the ceremony...just the pretty dresses, the candles, etc.
as to budget...our church provides sitters in the nursery to prevent exactly the kind of disruption i alluded to.
all i can say...is good luck! seriously......no sarcasm intended. young children are just too unpredictable and face it...more concerned with their own needs/wants than the sentiment and sacrament of a wedding. if you're going for casual, fun, carefree then i guess it 'fits' to have young children around. but if you're going for formal and elegant....kids just don't fit in the mix.
Awww, Kimberly, you don't have to beg. You can differ with me any time, ok?
It is a well-known fact that I have a different slant on parenting and the raising of children than most--having had 4 myself and been in children's ministry a lot, I am quite aware of the vagaries of children's behaviors. So I'm not offended. I'm also not worried. We are looking into the possibility of a nursery...after all, good parents will take their children out if they cause a disturbance, and they need a place to go if that is necessary.
Here's an invite to everyone to visit the link in my sig and comment on this issue.
shallbe
but see.....that's my point exactly. the 'damage is already done' if they cause a disturbance and need to be taken out. i just by-pass that step altogether! (lol)
_____________________________
Kimberly (aka KJ)
Shifing Gears w/ Kimberly
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