RE: A couple of questions (Full Version)

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crankius -> RE: A couple of questions (6/4/2008 10:46:09 AM)

Who do you trust more right now--God, or yourself?



purplepixie87 -> RE: A couple of questions (6/4/2008 12:21:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59

purplepixie,

I'm just wondering what you think being a Christian is, if you think it's ok to disobey God and not pay much attention to the Bible.


I wasn't saying it IS OK to not pay attention to the Bible, I was using that as an example to how I've strayed from the path...even though the first week I prayed constantly, I'd just sit there and talk to God over everything. And the first week I was very diligent in reading the Bible. I know I've strayed from the path, and I'm trying to get back on it....but for some reason I can't even keep my attention long enough to read the Bible. I don't know why. If I knew why, I'd tell you...but I don't. I was very happy the first week with my constant praying and reading the Bible (with the assistance of a Bible study book) for about an hour to two hours every day. But since I don't pray much at all anymore, or read the Bible really....I've felt lonely. The first week I felt very happy, and very secure and felt well...loved but now it's nothing but loneliness.



crankius -> RE: A couple of questions (6/4/2008 12:29:54 PM)

If you love God as your Heavenly Father, you are going to want to spend time with Him and listen to His statutes and hold fast to His words.

If you pull away, you will feel loneliness. It doesn't mean God has left you--it means you have pulled away from Him and His words.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: A couple of questions (6/4/2008 2:16:46 PM)

quote:

....but for some reason I can't even keep my attention long enough to read the Bible.


This is a problem that I have had. And I think it is a common problem.

Read anyway. Set a time every day, get yourself a cup of tea or something else you like, and just sit down and read. Turn of the radio, TV, phone, any distractions. Same with prayer. Establish one time a day that you know you will get on your knees and talk to God. It's a good start.

I though I knew the story of Daniel through and through, but last month that was the book I was reading and I realized there was much more in there, and the more I read, the more fascinating I found it.

In our relationship with God (and in life, and in marriage [;)]) there are things we *need* to do, whether we feel like it or not. Letting our feelings rule us leads to chaos and disaster. We have to learn to do the right thing whether it feels good or not. That is called self-discipline, and it benefits us in so many ways and in all aspects of life.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: A couple of questions (6/4/2008 2:21:23 PM)

Do you know any older Godly women? Are you plugged into a church?

I think you would really benefit from a friend-mentor.



purplepixie87 -> RE: A couple of questions (6/4/2008 4:05:52 PM)

Thanks! :)

I used to go to a church, but I don't anymore...most of the people at our family church are spiteful. :(



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: A couple of questions (6/4/2008 5:01:41 PM)

You can always find a different church.



purplepixie87 -> RE: A couple of questions (6/4/2008 5:03:34 PM)

True...I could, but I don't really know where to start. Or if a church is accepting or not.

I thought about something though---My Aunt Lisa is the best Christian I know (aside from you people here [;)]) and she could probably mentor me. She teaches youth Sunday school at her church, and youth Wednesday night services as well. So I'm sure she'd be able to. She'd probably be thrilled, to be honest. [:)]



crankius -> RE: A couple of questions (6/4/2008 5:06:42 PM)

Oh good! I pray the Lord opens the door for your aunt to be an older sister in Christ to you.



SouthernBelleGrits -> RE: A couple of questions (6/4/2008 5:20:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: purplepixie87

True...I could, but I don't really know where to start. Or if a church is accepting or not.

I thought about something though---My Aunt Lisa is the best Christian I know (aside from you people here [;)]) and she could probably mentor me. She teaches youth Sunday school at her church, and youth Wednesday night services as well. So I'm sure she'd be able to. She'd probably be thrilled, to be honest. [:)]


[:)] This is good news! The good thing about seeking out Christians in our own family as mentors is we don't have to explain as much as we would have to explain to a stranger! Has your Aunt Lisa always been in your life, Purplepixie? Does she know about the abuse? the rape? your fiance'?



purplepixie87 -> RE: A couple of questions (6/4/2008 5:54:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SouthernBelleGrits

[:)] This is good news! The good thing about seeking out Christians in our own family as mentors is we don't have to explain as much as we would have to explain to a stranger! Has your Aunt Lisa always been in your life, Purplepixie? Does she know about the abuse? the rape? your fiance'?


Nobody in my family knows about any of the rapes (there were 6 of them....) and I don't really want them to know because they'll urge me to press charges even though it's far too late and they'll probably urge me to seek counselling, etc. [:'(] and I don't need counseling, yes I may still have the occasional nightmare about them...but really, I'm fine with it so I'm not planning on getting "help" for it anytime soon. And the one that got me pregnant with Kevin....it was very hard to even admit it to friends a year after it happened (which was also when my fiance found out, I got a friend of mine to tell him) I still can't really talk about what happened with anybody...it was horrible. [:(] Almost everybody knows about my fiance. Lisa has been in the family since I was really tiny, so yeah she's known me my entire life. She doesn't know about the abuse, but I don't really think I could tell her--she'd probably urge me to press charges against my dad, and I can't do that to him.



SouthernBelleGrits -> RE: A couple of questions (6/4/2008 6:07:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: purplepixie87

quote:

ORIGINAL: SouthernBelleGrits

[:)] This is good news! The good thing about seeking out Christians in our own family as mentors is we don't have to explain as much as we would have to explain to a stranger! Has your Aunt Lisa always been in your life, Purplepixie? Does she know about the abuse? the rape? your fiance'?


Nobody in my family knows about any of the rapes (there were 6 of them....) and I don't really want them to know because they'll urge me to press charges even though it's far too late and they'll probably urge me to seek counselling, etc. [:'(] and I don't need counseling, yes I may still have the occasional nightmare about them...but really, I'm fine with it so I'm not planning on getting "help" for it anytime soon. And the one that got me pregnant with Kevin....it was very hard to even admit it to friends a year after it happened (which was also when my fiance found out, I got a friend of mine to tell him) I still can't really talk about what happened with anybody...it was horrible. [:(] Almost everybody knows about my fiance. Lisa has been in the family since I was really tiny, so yeah she's known me my entire life. She doesn't know about the abuse, but I don't really think I could tell her--she'd probably urge me to press charges against my dad, and I can't do that to him.


Purplepixie, Thank you so much for sharing that with us. Your frank honesty just blows me away. I'm so sorry you have been the victim of 6 rapes. [:(]You don't have to tell your Aunt Lisa about the abuse and rapes, but I'm glad she has been around you a lot throughout your life. I hope you will begin spending some extra time with her. I see your protective nature Purplepixie. Please protect your children from the types of abuse you have been through.



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: A couple of questions (6/4/2008 9:56:26 PM)

Ummm...pixie? I think your PM box is full. [;)]



purplepixie87 -> RE: A couple of questions (6/4/2008 10:34:22 PM)

SouthernBelleGrits---I tend to be very honest. :) Thank you. I will protect them.

Tinkerbell_ --- Sorry! I cleaned it out, maybe it'll work now.



Roberta_ -> RE: A couple of questions (6/5/2008 3:47:19 PM)

quote:

I didn't say that I wouldn't let them know that I feel they should be Christian. All I said was that they can decide what religion they want to be, I never once said that I wouldn't tell them what I feel and that they should only be following Christianity. However, if I was to not let them explore other religions and decide on their own, that would be me making a hypocrite of myself.


Hi Purpleplexie- I'm very late joining in this thread. Please humor me if you have already answered this question. Why do you think it's hypocritical to NOT let your children explore other religions?



Roberta_ -> RE: A couple of questions (6/5/2008 3:49:48 PM)

quote:

True...I could, but I don't really know where to start. Or if a church is accepting or not.


What do you mean by "an accepting" church?



buckifn -> RE: A couple of questions (6/5/2008 4:11:27 PM)

quote:

and I don't need counseling, yes I may still have the occasional nightmare about them...but really, I'm fine with it so I'm not planning on getting "help" for it anytime soon.


There is no way you or any other woman on this planet could possibly be fine with the experience of being raped 6 times. Even one time is too much to deal with alone.

Have you ever heard of something called PTSD? It often happens to people who live in denial after a traumatic event. Rape IS a traumatic event.

Please take better care of yourself and allow yourself to be healed now instead of twenty years from now when something worse takes place.



Roberta_ -> RE: A couple of questions (6/5/2008 4:20:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: buckifn
Please take better care of yourself and allow yourself to be healed now instead of twenty years from now when something worse takes place.


AMEN to that!!



purplepixie87 -> RE: A couple of questions (6/5/2008 4:35:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva

quote:

I didn't say that I wouldn't let them know that I feel they should be Christian. All I said was that they can decide what religion they want to be, I never once said that I wouldn't tell them what I feel and that they should only be following Christianity. However, if I was to not let them explore other religions and decide on their own, that would be me making a hypocrite of myself.


Hi Purpleplexie- I'm very late joining in this thread. Please humor me if you have already answered this question. Why do you think it's hypocritical to NOT let your children explore other religions?


Because I myself have explored other religions...I was Pagan since I was 13 before becoming Christian (for the second time), and I had a 2 month stint in Hinduism back in 2005.



purplepixie87 -> RE: A couple of questions (6/5/2008 4:36:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva

quote:

True...I could, but I don't really know where to start. Or if a church is accepting or not.


What do you mean by "an accepting" church?


An accepting church means like where the people aren't judgmental of you and stuff. A lot of the people at "our" church are judgmental...especially people my age. You'd think southern baptists wouldn't be, but the ones at our church are.



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: A couple of questions (6/5/2008 4:37:54 PM)

We've all done things in our youth that we now know isn't good for our children.

I had a boyfriend from first grade on. But my boys, (11 and 8) aren't allowed to even consider dating until late high school and even then we're going to discuss more in depth as to why they can't/shouldn't.

Please reconsider that choice...just because you did something doesn't mean it's a wise decision for you children. It's our job as parents to protect our children and guide them with our wisdom. What good are our mistakes if we don't learn from them, and try to keep our children from suffering the same way?

*huggles*



Roberta_ -> RE: A couple of questions (6/5/2008 4:41:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: purplepixie87

quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva

quote:

I didn't say that I wouldn't let them know that I feel they should be Christian. All I said was that they can decide what religion they want to be, I never once said that I wouldn't tell them what I feel and that they should only be following Christianity. However, if I was to not let them explore other religions and decide on their own, that would be me making a hypocrite of myself.


Hi Purpleplexie- I'm very late joining in this thread. Please humor me if you have already answered this question. Why do you think it's hypocritical to NOT let your children explore other religions?


Because I myself have explored other religions...I was Pagan since I was 13 before becoming Christian (for the second time), and I had a 2 month stint in Hinduism back in 2005.


So you learned the truth. Teaching the truth to your children is not hypocrisy, it's responsible parenting.

For example, I had an abortion. Later I learned the truth about abortion. I have taught my children that abortion is nothing less than murder. Should I have instead let them make up their own minds about abortion? How many of their own children would they have to kill before they learned the truth?

How many dead gods do you want your children to worship before they find out the truth? What if they don't find out the truth before they pass away?

How many of your mistakes do you want them to make?
How many mistakes can you help them to avoid making?



Roberta_ -> RE: A couple of questions (6/5/2008 4:45:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: purplepixie87

quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva

quote:

True...I could, but I don't really know where to start. Or if a church is accepting or not.


What do you mean by "an accepting" church?


An accepting church means like where the people aren't judgmental of you and stuff. A lot of the people at "our" church are judgmental...especially people my age. You'd think southern baptists wouldn't be, but the ones at our church are.


I used to be very close to a SBC preacher's wife. I found that that she and her family and their church were some of the most understanding and forgiving Christians that I knew. That was in Indiana. Now I'm CA and I'm finding again that some of the most loving, albeit truthful Christians there are belong to the SBC.

BTW- calling someone judgemental is also being judgemental. [;)]



purplepixie87 -> RE: A couple of questions (6/5/2008 4:46:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: buckifn

quote:

and I don't need counseling, yes I may still have the occasional nightmare about them...but really, I'm fine with it so I'm not planning on getting "help" for it anytime soon.


There is no way you or any other woman on this planet could possibly be fine with the experience of being raped 6 times. Even one time is too much to deal with alone.

Have you ever heard of something called PTSD? It often happens to people who live in denial after a traumatic event. Rape IS a traumatic event.

Please take better care of yourself and allow yourself to be healed now instead of twenty years from now when something worse takes place.


To be honest--I have more PTSD from my childbirths than I do from being raped. That may sound crazy, but only one rape was very traumatic and left me with PTSD, because I was wounded quite a bit (the one that conceived my son, Kevin)....not really going to go into it....but the other 5 weren't all that "bad" as far as the rape scale goes, I was just forced into sexual acts with the other 5...yeah I tried to fight back, but that's about it.

And you can't get "help" or be healed until you are ready to. Some women take a long time, it depends on the woman. I'm not ready to get help. I know I'm going to need counseling soon, but for one thing I cannot afford it right now, it costs too much and I don't have insurance to pay for it for another thing, I'm not ready to talk to people in person about what happened to me. If anything, if I do get counseling it'd be more for the traumatic rape and for my births, it took me a year to even accept that I was raped that time, it took me a year to even admit it to myself and my close friends. I am not ready to talk to a counselor about it. I still can't really talk about it, it took all my strength to explain what happened to my friend, she told me I didn't have to explain it....but I felt like I had to. And then she told my fiance because I asked her to. Do you really think I want to go through that again? It felt like I was experiencing it all over again, and I don't want to do that again anytime soon. I've been through a lot the past 3 years, and despite all I've been through I'm just fine. I'd much rather keep all my emotions bottled up than I would let them out on some unsuspecting stranger. Anytime I think of what happened to me---and I avoid thinking about it as much as possible---I get filled with so many emotions...anger, self-doubt, sadness, depression, shock, distrust....still trying to overcome that, and a friend's suicide in November 2006, I couldn't mourn my best friend's death last May. Even when the anniversary of her death came around this year, I still couldn't mourn it. I still haven't really accepted that she's gone, and I blame myself for that. All the stuff I've been through keeps me from experiencing normal emotions. But there isn't anything I can do about it, and if my friends can't help me a counselor sure can't. Counselors don't know me, don't know what I've been through, don't know how I feel...my friends know me and what I've been through (some have been through similar things) and they understand how I feel. Counselors just sit there and raise their eyebrows at you, they don't try to comfort you or anything. I don't trust them. It's hard for me to trust people, I only trust you guys here because you are brothers and sisters in Christ and I know you guys are there for me because of that. But, how on earth am I supposed to trust a counselor with my problems?



purplepixie87 -> RE: A couple of questions (6/5/2008 4:52:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva

quote:

ORIGINAL: purplepixie87

quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva

quote:

I didn't say that I wouldn't let them know that I feel they should be Christian. All I said was that they can decide what religion they want to be, I never once said that I wouldn't tell them what I feel and that they should only be following Christianity. However, if I was to not let them explore other religions and decide on their own, that would be me making a hypocrite of myself.


Hi Purpleplexie- I'm very late joining in this thread. Please humor me if you have already answered this question. Why do you think it's hypocritical to NOT let your children explore other religions?


Because I myself have explored other religions...I was Pagan since I was 13 before becoming Christian (for the second time), and I had a 2 month stint in Hinduism back in 2005.


So you learned the truth. Teaching the truth to your children is not hypocrisy, it's responsible parenting.

For example, I had an abortion. Later I learned the truth about abortion. I have taught my children that abortion is nothing less than murder. Should I have instead let them make up their own minds about abortion? How many of their own children would they have to kill before they learned the truth?

How many dead gods do you want your children to worship before they find out the truth? What if they don't find out the truth before they pass away?

How many of your mistakes do you want them to make?
How many mistakes can you help them to avoid making?


I didn't say I wasn't going to teach my children the truth--I am going to teach them the truth. But I can't stop them from experimenting with religion. They'll do it anyways.



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